Chapter 54: Attack on Pinball Fortress:
Dr. Robotnik's POV:
"Someday, my friend, the evil Dr. Robotnik will be defeated forever," says this one villager, "but until that day happens..." I then zapped them. "Duh, we get to play in the nice mud!"
"My new Stupidity Ray works perfectly! One zap from this baby, and the good citizens of Mobius are too stupid to resist me," I said.
"That would be very helpful against Sally, Rotor, and Tails," says Snively.
"While those three are still inferior to my own intellect," I said, "they are still the smartest of the Freedom Fighters, but first, I see the ultimate test of my invention coming up now!"
Sonic's POV:
"Sally said Doc Botnik and his bad egg bots are in the area," I said.
"Where is she," asks Tails.
"Getting us some military help," I said, "in retrospect, we probably should've gotten that in the first place."
Dr. Robotnik's POV:
"If I can just zap that high-speed hedgehog, the rest of the planet will be a piece of cake," I said. I kept trying to zap Sonic, but I kept missing. Eventually, I hit Scratch! "How are you feeling?"
"Actually, I feel fine, your mightiness! Are you sure that thing's working," says Scratch.
"It's working fine! It just can't make you any stupider than you already are," I said.
Sally's POV:
"I'm glad you accepted my offer to join the Freedom Fighters, Sgt. Doberman," I said.
"Ma'am, it would be an honor to help you in your war against Robotnik," says Sgt. Doberman, "in fact, I think we need a weapon that can take him down!"
"Like what," I asked. I then got zapped...
Dr. Robotnik's POV:
"Did you get that hedgehog," asks Snively.
"No, but take a look at this," I said.
"Duh, I'm gonna play in the swamp," says Sally, "it'll be fun!"
"The Princess is now as dumb as Scratch and Grounder," says Snively.
"I like to point out that I'm at least smarter than Grounder," says Scratch.
"And I would like to point out that I'm at least dumber than Scratch," says Grounder, "wait..."
Wes Weasely's POV:
After Robotnik bought the H.D.S.V.A.D.L. Company, I got fir... I mean... I decided to quit and now I'm just a regular salesman.
"Look, pally, you want these encyclopedias or not? They got Wes Weasely's personal guarantee," I said.
"Uh, I don't think so! All the pages are blank!"
"Pally, pally, pally! You're a smart guy, right," I asked, "you already know everything you need to know, right? These encyclopedias are perfect for you!"
"I don't think so!"
"I'll even throw in a set of genuine imitation gold-plated toenail clippers," I said.
"Forget it! What do you think I am, stupid?" Then he got hit with a mysterious beam. "Wow! A blank encyclopedia! I'll take one! No! No! I'll take three! And a box! And... and your stinky socks! Heh! Yes! And anything else you've got for sale! Name your price!"
Sonic's POV:
"Hey, Doc! You're a lousy shot! Bet you can't even hit me when I'm standing still," I said, "I'm waitin'!" Just as he was about to zap me, I hit him with a spin dash.
"Sonic, you should see this," says Tails.
It was Sally playing in the much. "Sally," I asked.
"Hi Sonic," says Sally. She then starts kissing me all over the face with her muck covered lips.
"You feeling okay," I asked.
"I'm fine," says Sally, "Tails, can I count your tails?" She then tries to count Tails' tails, but she has trouble counting to two.
"I'm worried," says Tails.
"I know what you mean," I said.
Sgt. Doberman's POV:
"Huh, the evil Robotnik has been defeated for the moment," I said, "I see he has left behind his Stupidity Ray! With that ray, I can make Robotnik's forces into complete idiots! I must have it!"
Wes Weasely's POV:
"That little gizmo could really help my sales! I gotta have it!"
Sonic's POV:
We then saw Sgt. Doberman and Wes Weasely fighting over that ray gun Robotnik had. I then took it.
"I order you to turn over that device to me," says Sgt. Doberman.
"I'll buy it, chum! Name your price," says Weasely.
"Military security is more important than your petty cash, you pathetic peddler," says Sgt. Doberman.
"Nothing's more important than money, you overgrown grunt-head," says Weasely.
"Dirtbag! Pipsqueak! Moron! Civilian," says Sgt. Doberman.
"You maggot," says Weasely.
"I know how to settle this," I said. I then destroyed it. "There! Now, neither of you can have it! What is it, anyway?"
"Dr. Robotnik's stupidity ray," says Sgt. Doberman, "that's what turned the Princess into a blathering idiot!"
"Sonic, I think you just destroyed the only thing that can turn Sally back," says Tails.
"Probably should've asked first," says Weasely.
"Duh, that wasn't very smart," says Sally.
"And I wasn't even hit with the ray," I said.
"You may have smashed my Stupidity Ray, but I still remember how to build it! And this time, I won't mess around," says Dr. Robotnik.
"Sir, you could build giant Stupidity Ray, one big enough to blacken the whole planet," says Snively, "oh, that was your plan and I just told them, didn't I?"
"Duh, that also wasn't very smart," says Sally.
"And you weren't hit with the ray," says Robotnik, "to Pinball Fortress!" They then left.
"Sally, give me NICOLE," I said.
"Oakey Dokey," says Sally, handing me NICOLE.
"NICOLE, what you got on Pinball Fortress," I asked.
"I'm a box," says NICOLE.
"Good thing I know something about it," says Tails, "it's impenetrable and has a lot of traps!"
"I volunteer to join the mission! With my military experience, we will be certain to beat the pinball fortress," says Sgt. Doberman.
"I volunteer! My company sold Robotnik most of the traps in the Pinball Fortress! I know how to get through," says Weasely.
"Get lost, Snake Oil," says Sgt. Doberman, "we don't need you!"
"What we don't need is thick-necked grunt-head," says Weasely.
"You civilian," says Sgt. Doberman.
"You think I can't do it? I don't like your haircut," says Weasely.
"What do you think, Sonic," asks Tails.
"I'd think that between Robotnik and these guys," I began, "we're all in big trouble!"
"So, what do we do about Sally," asks Tails.
"Good question," I said, "we can't take her with us, and I don't want the Freedom Fighters seeing her like this and we can't leave her with Bartlebee, things have been awkward since she dumped him after that mechsuit incident... I got it!"
. . .
"Thanks again for doing this," I said.
"Anytime," says Griff, "so this is what Robotnik's going to do to everyone?"
"My shadow keeps copying me," says Sally.
"Yep," I said, "but don't worry, me and Tails are gonna stop him... with some help from these guys."
Doberman and Weasely are still fighting.
"You know they only want the stupidity ray for themselves right," asks Griff.
"Oh yeah," I said.
. . .
I arrived at the top of a boulder. "I'm waiting," I said.
"We don't all have superspeed," says Sgt. Doberman.
"Couldn't... couldn't we have waited for the... the local's tour bus," asks Weasely.
"They don't have one," says Sgt. Doberman.
"They don't," asks Weasely, "remind me to sell em' one! See the impenetrable Pinball Fortress! Visit the fearsome toxic pools! Dine on malicious booby traps! Heh! I'd make a fortune!"
"You won't have a chance unless we get in there and beat Doc Botnik's evil plans," I said.
"Hey, even if we stop Robotnik, how do you plan on restoring the Princess," asks Weasley.
"If I could study the ray, I might be able to make my own," says Tails, "one that increases intelligence!"
"Well, don't hit any of my customers with that," says Weasely.
"Now that we're in sight of our goal, I, as rankin' military officer, will take command of this mission! From this point, we will take the south pass road to the fortress," says Sgt. Doberman.
"Back off, bur-head! I'm still callin' the shots here," I said, "Tails, we need your eyes on the skies!"
Tails takes to the sky. "Looks tough, Sonic! There's some sort of breakdown blocking the south pass road," says Tails, "better go some other way!"
"I'm glad he wasn't zapped," says Sgt. Doberman.
"I know, right," I asked, "what's the scoop on our intended target?"
Tails flies up to a window and looks through his binoculars. "Oh, no! Robotnik and his blockheads have almost completed the giant Stupidity Ray," says Tails.
"Gotta blow, bros! No time to lose," I said.
"But how are we gonna get over there? The whole landscape is loaded with my company's finest grab em' and grind em' booby traps," says Weasely.
"What kind of traps," asks Sgt. Doberman.
"Well, there are piranhas, sharks, killer whales, seals, electric eels, tigers, and... the worst most terrible thing imaginable! A YouTube channel that makes videos that are loosely based on video games!"
"Wanna hear my sad origin story?"
"I'm afraid," says Tails.
"Do they at least play the games," asks Sgt. Doberman, "this seems loose."
"I was a human, but then I had a lousy life, so a madman turned me to a monster!"
"Let's go, quick," I said. I then made a zipline and rode it while Tails flew.
"Sorry, Snake Oil! Only room for one on this ride! Guess we'll have to capture the Stupidity Ray without you," says Sgt. Doberman.
"You're not gettin' that ray without me," says Weasley, grabbing onto Doberman's backpack.
. . .
We find a door. "Hmmm. That's The H.D.S.V.A.D.L. Monolith Series Seven Door! Solid steel, unpickable lock, absolutely unbreakable! Take hours to cut through," says Weasely.
"We don't have hours," I said.
"Ah! Well, then, in that case, there is a tiny, tiny flaw the company doesn't like to talk about," says Weasely, "it does have a slight rust problem!"
"Let's go, slow-mos," I said as we got through.
. . .
"Is there anything else we should know about," asks Sgt. Doberman.
"Well... there is Scorpius," says Weasely.
"What's a Scorpius," I asked.
"This giant scorpion robot thing Robotnik built," says Weasely.
I looked. "Is it, by any chance, a gigantic, orange-colored robotic scorpion with Robotnik's face, four gray, mechanical legs and a large gray tail that has a stinger at the end?"
"Wow, good guess," says Weasely.
"I don't think it was a guess," says Sgt. Doberman. Doberman tries to shoot Scorpius, but it doesn't work! "Well, I'm open to suggestions," says Sgt. Doberman.
"I think I got it," I said. I then ran towards Scorpius, who then tries to blast me with a laser from its tail. I then ran around it as it kept firing. And the ground under it begins to crack. I then get back to the other two and Scorpius fell through the ground. "Come on!"
. . .
We then came through and the ray was pointed at us. "Any last words," asks Robotnik.
"Yeah," I said, "now!" Tails comes and lifts up Doberman and Weasely and lets go, allowing the two to attack Robotnik.
"Tails, have you studied this thing," I asked.
"I got the blueprints," says Tails.
"Sonic, we can use this to make Robotnik's forces stupid," says Sgt. Doberman.
"No, I can use it so everyone would be dumb enough to buy my products," says Weasely.
"I think I know a compromise," I said.
Sgt. Doberman and Weasely look at Robotnik and they both agree.
"Oh no," says Robotnik.
We then used the stupidity ray on Robotnik.
"You okay, Dr. Robotnik," asks Grounder.
"Oooh! Oooh, pretty handle," says Dr. Robotnik as he pulls the lever.
"He pulled the destruct lever," says Grounder.
"Let's get out of here," says Scratch.
We then all left as the place was going to blow...
. . .
Tails restores Sally. "Wha- what happened," asks Sally.
"You don't want to know," me, Tails, Sgt. Doberman, and Weasley all said. We then all laughed, while Sally was just confused.
Scratch's POV:
"Let's do that again," says Dr. Robotnik.
"No! Don't touch that lever," me and Grounder both said.
"Well, until we can make our own smart ray, someone will have to be in charge," says Snively.
"Oh, I think I hate that hedgehog, but I don't know for sure," says Dr. Robotnik.
In the next chapter, Robotnik kidnaps Professor Von Schlemmer. It's not that I don't like Gametoons, but let's be real, they can be inaccurate, and they tend to use the same ideas. Plus, I thought it would be funny to make fun of what they do.
