Chapter 57: MacHopper:
Dr. Robotnik's POV:
"Dr. Robotnik, your supreme nastiness," says Scratch, "here's the recruit who volunteered to eliminate Sonic! Bwahahaha!"
"In a piieg's eoy, mite! Oy've bayn bahttlin Dr. Beegbuttnik..." MacHopper grabs Scratch's right tail feather with both his hands and pulls it. "Evah seence Oy was a way neeppah! And Oy've gawt nao plahns t' stawp naow!" MacHopper tosses Scratch's right tail feather like a boomerang, and it hits a magnet. Scratch stares in shock and squawks. He grabs the wheelbarrow with both his hands, and grunts as he tries to hold onto it, but the magnet is too strong, and it pulls him in.
"Dr. Robotnik, save me," says Scratch.
"Excellent work, MacHopper," I said. I then pressed a button. "It's exactly that kind of talent which made me realize that you may be the one Mobian citizen talented enough to capture the hedgehog!" MacHopper looks around, and four arms appear from offscreen. They wrap themselves around him.
Sonic's POV:
We just got word that the newest addition to the Freedom Fighters, MacHopper has been taken by Robotnik!
"There's Robotnik's fortress," says Tails.
"Let's do it to it," I said.
Dr. Robotnik's POV:
"And now, it's time to deal with Mr. MacHopper's attitude problem," I said.
"Just wigh' teell' me muytes, Sonic and Tiles foind eow' abeow' thiies! yah'll be in trouble," says MacHopper.
"Grounder! Get over here," I said.
Grounder rolls in and turns both his drills into cables with plugs. He rolls up to MacHopper.
"Thy wawn't laeh' yah geh' awhy weeth thiies! Oh, nao, thy wawn't," says MacHopper.
Grounder plugs the plugs into the device on MacHopper's head.
"Oh, yes, they will," I said, "and once your brain's been suitably reprogrammed, your one goal in life will be to capture Sonic and Tails!"
"Cuypchuh Sonic and Tiles," says MacHopper.
Sonic's POV:
Tails and I found Mac. "Look, it's Mac," I said.
"Thighnk yah, witer! Oy was lookin faw thaht everywheah," says Mac, "naow, if yah'll tyke moy awe-dah, Oy'd loike a choili dohg weeth a soide of euculyptus layves!"
"MacHopper, are you okay? Don't you recognize us? It's me, Sonic!"
"Hy, Oy naevah fohgeh' a fuyce! Naow, who'd yah sie yah ahh," asks Mac.
"It's Sonic and Tails, MacHopper," says Tails.
"And who is thiies 'Mahchawppah' bloke people kayp cawnfusin me weeth?"
"Tails, it's worse than I thought! Dr. Robotnik has stolen his mind," I said.
"Moind? Oy daon't moind if yah daon't moind! Naow, if yah'll just fawllaow me t' thiies leettle geezmao Oy tawssed tohgethah in moy spaeh toime!" MacHopper pulls out an axe with his right hand. Sonic and Tails stare in shock and scream. MacHopper is now holding the axe in his left hand and uses it to cut the rope holding the tree together. "And cuh' thiies rope heah," The tree that was on the raft we jumped into falls off, "we'll be munchin' choili dohgs in nao toime flaht!"
"Either that, or pushin' up daisies," I said. We then jumped off. "Let's rotor those tails, Tails! I'm waiting!"
"Oh, a hahndkuhchief! thaht's just whaht Oy..."
MacHopper is about to grab the sheet with his right hand, but I took it. MacHopper then sneezes. "Gesundheit, Mac! But I'd stick around if I were you, because it's munchin' time!"
Scratch's POV:
We were at Dogster's.
"We gotta get Mac, or Dr. Robotnik's gonna turn us into paperweights," I said, "hey, hey! Hey! That's the Dogeteria, the restaurant where MacHopper's supposed to ambush Sonic!"
"Gee, maybe that means the 'Capture Sonic' program's working after all," says Grounder.
Sonic's POV:
We were at Dogster's.
"Oy sie, witer, could Oy hahve some suhvoice? Naevah moind, Oy'll geh' ih' myself!" MacHopper pulls the switch with his right hand, turning on the ceiling fan, which spins clockwise and tosses him into the vat of chili. We were staring in shock.
"Mac! Buddy! Speak to me," I said, "are you okay?"
"Wohlopin' wohluybees! Haeh haeh! Thaht choili pahcks a punch! g'die, Sonic, g'die, tiles! Whaht breengs yah blokes heah? And caeh t' join me in a dohg aw two," asks Mac.
"Sonic! What do you think happened," asks Tails.
"The chili must have restored his mind," I said, "which means we'd better get some more into him, pronto!"
. . .
After all of that...
"Oy sie, young chahp, hahve yah evah hahd the uncawntrawllable uhge t' cuypchuh a haedgehawg," asks Mac, "cause if yah diied, ooll yah hahve t' do is cawllect a bunch of choili fumes, loike sao, laowd in a string of hawt leenks, loike sao, and fuyah thaem at the nearest cawnvaenient haedgehawg, loike sao!"
Mac then has me tied up in sausage links.
"Ho ho! MacHopper! You've done it! You've captured Sonic! Bwahahaha," says Scratch.
"Oh, Dr. Robotnik will be so proud of us," says Grounder.
Mac then looks dazed. "Whoa, who's Dr. Robawtnik? Who's Sonic? And who is thiies bloke MahcHawppah?"
Tails grabs the syringe with both his hands. He sprays the chili at MacHopper.
"Let's see if this Chili can jog your memory," says Tails.
MacHopper blubbers as he shakes the chili off his face. "Oh, hoo-whee! Naow Oy remembah everything! Oh, cuytuhwaulin kaowalas! Whaht hahve Oy dun?"
Scratch and Grounder walk up to MacHopper.
"You've made all our dreams come true! Bwahahaha," says Scratch.
"The dim-bots are right, and that calls for a celebration," I said.
"Shall we say, chili dogs all around," asks Tails.
"We're robots, we don't eat," says Scratch.
"I do! That spicy stuff cleans out my turbo charger," says Grounder.
"Then chili dogs all around is what it'll be," I said.
Tails grabs the sausage links and unties me and then ties up Scratch and Grounder.
"Hog-tied by hot links? How humiliating," says Scratch.
We then ran with Mac.
. . .
We managed to get away and now we have to get back to Robotnik.
"And whaen we geh' theah, Oy'm gawnna geeve thaht robawtnik bloke a payce of moy moind," says Mac, "thaht is, once Oy geh' enough t' theenk, somethin aw whaht."
. . .
We were on our way to Robotnik's.
"Yaes, Mahstah! Oy weell cuypchuh Sonic and Tiles, just as yah awe-duhd!"
"Are you okay, Mac," I asked.
"Roigh' as rine, Mite!"
. . .
We then arrived. "We're here," I said.
"Roigh' yah are, Mr. Spaydy Pahnts Haedgehawg! And naow Oy'm gawnna tuhn yah ovah t' the grite one heemself!" He then grabbed us.
"Hey, Sonic, what's goin' on," asks Tails.
"Looks like the chili wore off, and Doc Botnik's evil programming kicked back in," I said.
. . .
"Sonic! I'm so happy to see you! Now that my wonderful creation has taken you prisoner, I'm going to have you sent off on an ocean cruise," says Robotnik, "as an icicle! Your triple spinning days are done!"
He then has the Insto-Freeze cannon aimed at us.
"Robotny, old bean, you've got us dead to rights, but even the lowliest convict gets a final request," I said.
"Well, 'I'm waiting'!"
"One last chili dog for me and my little buddy, Tails," I said.
"A chili dog? Considering how chilly you're about to become, how could I refuse," asks Robotnik.
. . .
Now we're in Robotnik's kitchen. "There, help yourself," says Robotnik, "keep an eye on them, MacHopper! Oh, it's gratifying to know I finally built something I can trust!"
As soon as Robotnik left, Tails and I got our chili dogs.
"Mmmm! Those leettle fluymahs look good," says MacHopper.
"Then have some heartburn on us," I said. I then tossed them in the air and MacHopper catches them with his mouth. Steam came out of his ears.
"Hoo-whee! Yah tyke a boigh' eow' of those teenkahs, and thy boigh' yah roigh' bahck! Buh'... wheah ahh we? And whaht in the doigeridoo is goin' on?"
Dr. Robotnik's POV:
"Dr. R, Oy've just found eow' thaht some of the Fraydawm Foightahs ahh on thaeh why t' rescue Sonic and Tiles!"
"What do you suggest," I asked.
"Waell, Oy'd sie we'd bettah instohl a mahgnaetic foahss field, prawntao, aw the good guys'll bryke in and rescue those two, seemple as strawberry poy!"
"Very well," I said.
Sonic's POV:
Tails and I were helping them make that forcefield.
"Can't you work any faster," asks Robotnik.
We're then finished.
"Let her rip, good buddy," I said.
MacHopper pushes the lever with his left hand, which turns on the magnetic force field. The magnetic force field attracts everything made of metal in Robotnik's fortress, including the buckle to Robotnik's belt. His shirt comes undone, and he yells as his pants fall down, exposing pink boxer shorts with white polka dots. He pulls them up with both his hands and holds onto them.
"Excellent work, MacHopper! Huh? Huh? But what's happening to you," asks Robotnik.
Sparks surge through MacHopper's head, and his eyes are hypnotic.
"Oy'm claynin' eow' ooll yoah evil prawgrahmmin, Dr. Beegbuttnik! As of naow..."
Robotnik lets go of his pants, and they fall down again. He realizes this, then pulls them back up again. The magnetic force field continues, and becomes so strong, it creates a wave that emits outside Robotnik's fortress. Even Scratch and Grounder come back!
"Well, it's been great as always, Dr. R, but now we've really gotta go," I said. We then left.
"I hate that hedgehog," says Robotnik.
. . .
"Way to go, MacHopper," Tails and me both said.
"Thighnk yah, Muytes! and who knaows? Mybee somedie Oy'll even remembah whaht ih' is thaht Oy've dun!"
In the next chapter Sonic becomes the new sheriff of Tranquil Gulch.
