Act 1, Scene 3

Romeo:

"Juliet, why mustn't you want the great Romeo?

Oh, how this gives me such incredible woe.

Oh, Juliet, why must you leave me alone?

Oh, why mustn't I speak amongst the Capulets?"

From over yonder comes Lord Capulet, the king,

As peasants and guards come to cheer and sing.

Romeo stares, assuming the worst, "Oh, king.

Why must you ruin me and Juliet?

After all, to thee it is truly no threat."

For thee had asked for, Sir Capulet spoke;

Lord Capulet:

"Romeo, oh we bear bad news,

for our Juliet said she'sn't into dudes!

For a rose– nay, a thorn has taken her heart,

for our bloodline she may not do her part!

Romeo, we've unappreciated you,

now we shall let you marry our Juliet.

Oh please Romeo, we will owe you a debt!"

Romeo:

"O' dear king, how I've climbed for this offer,

Like sisyphus, I've spent each day towards her,

Asking for your blessing, o' royal king.

I promise you, I'll fulfill your bidding.

'Tis but not a lie, o' great, royal king.

To save Juliet from misdeeds, I shall try,

Romeo will take this peasant from her thighs!

King, who may this dastardly peasant be?

King, who is he who has no dignity?"

Lord Capulet:

"Oh Romeo, how dastardly this must!

Lover, your lust is all I can give my trust.

Beware for your competitor isn't male,

Juliet's love will end our bloodline; it'll fail!

Because Juliet found lady, no coins.

And she refuses to acknowledge her loins."

Romeo stood agasp; she didn't care for ass?

Romeo thought "Oh, if only a word there had been!"

Little did he know, there was; she's a lesbian.