The team gathered in a circle, eyeing Cloud warily. They had fallen into old patterns while fighting but seemed unsure how to approach him now that the action had passed. If Cloud noticed the tension, he did not comment on it. Tifa was torn between Cloud and the others. She understood the team's reluctance and mistrust. But she had neither reassurances nor explanations to offer them. And she could not abandon Cloud now.
An uneasy silence had fallen on the group. Vincent, of all people, broke it.
"Sephiroth?" he questioned.
The man did not speak often, but he knew how to get to the point. Nanaki looked from Tifa to Cloud.
"We saw him. Or thought we did. Right before…" Nanaki trailed off.
Yuffie shivered. "He turned into that thing."
Cloud shook his head and walked closer to one of the bodies that surrounded him. He shivered.
"Jenova…the reunion," Cloud muttered.
The others look confused. Vincent's eyes narrowed but he said nothing. Tifa tensed, ready to rush to Cloud's side. The moment seemed to pass.
"That wasn't Sephiroth," Cloud said. "But he's here. Waiting."
He pointed ahead, where another white wall of wind blocked their path.
"Sephiroth's gathering strength, here where the planet is trying to heal its wound. He's trying to…"
Cloud stopped, again shaking his head.
"The Black Materia," Yuffie said, dancing nervously.
At the words, Cloud froze completely, a distant look on his face. Not noticing, Yuffie continued her anxious little dance over to Nanaki, who pulled away slightly less than he usually would when she threw her arms around his neck. All of them were unnerved. Barret threw Tifa a look and she cleared her throat.
"Cloud," she said, approaching him carefully.
His eyes snapped into focus before she could reach his side. Tifa stopped in her tracks.
"We have to get to Sephiroth," Cloud said, definitively. "There's no time to lose."
Cait made a distressed sound and scurried forward, wrapping an arm around Tifa's shin.
"Eh, just one more, teesny thing?" he said, holding up a gloved finger.
All eyes lowered to Cait. He chuckled, nervously.
"That's right…Shira," Barret growled. "Dirty bastards."
Cloud looked over at him. Barret flinched and Tifa could tell her was trying not to look at her. They had kept that Shinra was heading this way from Cloud before. Not that he had been in any sort of state to receive it. To Tifa's relief, Cloud just shrugged.
"Like I said, no time to lose," he repeated. "All that matters now is stopping Sephiroth."
They watched as Cloud retreated from the group, finished with the conversation. He walked down the path towards the wind wall, keeping his back toward them. The others exchanged glances. Tifa turned to them.
"He's right," she said softly. "We've been chasing this moment for weeks now."
Some of us, for years perhaps, she realized.
"Do you think…" Yuffie began. "You think we got a shot?"
Tifa looked around at them. No one could deny they were a strange crew. A barmaid who was also a martial artist. A father who was also a rebel with a gun for an arm. A ninja, who happened to be a teenager. A four-legged companion from an ancient species, older than all of them, but somehow also a teenager. A pilot, who had surprised Tifa with his fighting prowess, brandishing a spear. A mechanical yet lifelike cat, who was a friend but also a spy. A pale, quiet man who they had found sleeping in a coffin before fighting the monster he kept hidden within.
Strange in composition, yet somehow also strangely powerful when they fought together.
Then there was Cloud. An ex-SOLIDER turned mercenary? Tifa's childhood friend turned stranger? Tifa was confident in his ability to fight and lead their eclectic team in combat. She was less confident in how he would act when they truly confronted Sephiroth. If his fragile state would hold.
Tifa's heart was full of affection for her motely group of friends, but also worry. They had come so far on Cloud's word, and her support of it.
"I don't know," Tifa said in response to Yuffie's question.
Perhaps it was not the right thing to say, but it was the only honest thing she could say in the moment. Yuffie nodded, solemn for once. Cid scratched the back of his head nervously.
"I'm not so sure about all this," he said. "I've seen some strange things in my days, but this is a lot."
"You don't have to keep going," Tifa said quickly. "None of you do."
Barret crossed his arms, glaring into the distance. He ignored her. Nanaki loosed himself from Yuffie's grip and moved to sit at Tifa's feet. She met his steady, calming gaze.
"Aerith believed this was the right thing to do," he said, voice cracking. "I've got to keep going. For Aerith. And for the planet."
Cid scuffed his boots against the rocks. "Well, shucks. I'm here because of her too! Might as well stick around."
Tifa moved quickly to reassure him.
"We know that," she said. "We all are. It's just that…"
Her eyes were drawn to Cloud's back, where he stood in front of the wind wall that obscured the unknown path ahead. The other's followed her line of gaze uneasily.
"We have no idea what's ahead of us. Perhaps it doesn't make sense for all of us go," she ventured. "Not all at once, anyways. And with Shinra coming…"
Vincent nodded. "Shinra being here could complicate things."
"Rufus is on the way," Cait piped in, seemingly unable to hold back his insider knowledge any longer. "On an airship. That old scientist is with him. Scarlet too, I think. Mayhap some Turks?"
Yuffie, Vincent, and Cid reacted simultaneously.
"That raggedy old broad!" Yuffie exclaimed, punching toward the sky.
"Airship?!" Cid snorted. "Landing here?!"
"Hojo…" Vincent muttered.
They exchanged glances. Without really meaning to, they had divided into two groups. Nanaki and Barret stood on either side of Tifa. Cid, Yuffie, and Vincent stood shoulder to shoulder with Cait front and center. Tifa and Cait exchanged business-like nods.
"We'll keep an eye on the situation best we can from here," Cait assured her.
"Nothing we can't handle!" Yuffie said cockily. "We'll keep 'em outta your hair."
Cid was still muttering to himself. "Airship my ass…"
Vincent said nothing, a brooding look on his face.
"Okay then," Tifa said. "Just…be careful, alright?"
Tifa turned quickly, biting back the emotion that swelled in her throat. There was more to say, but no time to say it. She headed toward Cloud, Barret and Nanaki following close behind her.
The center of the crater loomed ahead. There was a flat rocky platform surrounded by craggy, mako-studded rocks. An odd formation hovered above it. From their current vantage point, Tifa could not make out precisely what it was, but it filled her with dread.
Cloud continued forward. Tifa followed, grateful for the solid presence of Nanaki by her legs and Barret behind her.
They did not make it far, however, before Tifa's vision went white, just as it had before. From the startled cries of her comrades, Tifa knew the others were experiencing the same.
"The hell –" Barret swore.
"Cloud! Tifa! Barret!" Nanaki's cried out.
Cloud's voice cut through the chaos. "Everyone, stay calm. It's Sephiroth. He's trying to throw us off."
"Oh right, now I'm calm," Barret said acerbically. "Just Sephiroth."
Despite his sarcasm, Barret did sound calmer. Tifa reached out, unseeing, and managed to place one hand on Barret's arm and the other on Nanaki's head. They both moved closer.
"Cloud, where are you?" Tifa asked, trying to keep her voice steady.
"Just here," he replied, closer than expected.
At his words, Tifa's vision returned. When she regained her bearings, she wished it had not.
They were in Nibelheim. Not the manufactured, newly constructed one. It was the Nibelheim that Tifa remembered. She was not sure how she knew it, but she did. She kept herself still, looking straight ahead. There was no need to look around. She knew it all by heart, exactly what she would see. The water tower. The general store. Her childhood home. Cloud's.
"What in the blazing hells…" Barret gaped, at a loss.
Nanaki looked up at Tifa. "Nibelheim?"
Cloud stood before them, framed in the entry gates to Nibelheim. He shook his head at them, frowning.
"It's just an illusion," he told them. "Like I said, Sephiroth is trying to throw us off. We have to stay calm."
Barret and Nanaki nodded, but Tifa was unmoved by his words.
"Why Nibelheim, though? Why this?" she asked Cloud, unable to keep her voice from rising in fear. "What –"
"Tifa," Cloud interrupted, moving closer to her. "It's alright."
Cloud seemed surprised at her. He stopped in front of her and placed a hand on her shoulder. His head tilted in concern when he felt her shaking.
"It's not real, Tifa," he reiterated. "There's nothing to be afraid of. Everything to be afraid of here already happened, anyways. We have to keep going."
Tifa swallowed. "Cloud I –"
She thought she felt the ground moving beneath her feet, but unlike before, she realized she was the only one to experience the sensation. Cloud and the others looked at her curiously. Tifa was the only one who felt the world falling apart around her.
An approaching figure drew their eyes away from Tifa. Sephiroth walked through the gates of Nibelheim. Barret jumped in alarm, but Sephiroth did not seem to see them. He turned to speak to someone behind him.
"All right, let's go," he said in a clipped tone.
Two uniformed and helmeted Shinra soldiers hustled through the gate. Another man followed, dressed in a SOLDIER uniform and carrying a sword on his back. Tall, spiky black hair. It was Zack.
"Zack!" Cloud exclaimed.
For the first time since entering the illusion, his voice was less than calm. He moved away from Tifa and the others, trying to get a closer look. A moment later, the four men disappeared.
"Who?" Nanaki asked.
Tifa could not speak. Cloud shook his head.
"Zack, another SOLIDER," he replied, his voice level again. "He came on the mission but he…was lost."
The end of his reply tapered off, unconvincingly. Barret frowned.
"Zack?" he asked dubiously. "You never mentioned a Zack when you told us this story before. Just two SOLIDERs you said. You and Sephiroth."
Barret turned Tifa.
"Right, Tifa? You were there too."
They all look at her expectantly. Tifa turned away from them, towards the gate where the illusionary Sephiroth had come through. Where the real Sephiroth had passed through, five years prior. She was beginning to understand his game. It was cruel.
"Stop this, Sephiroth," Tifa managed.
Her voice was shaking. She thought she heard a cold, distant laughter.
Another flash. Flames surrounded them. Was it the heat of the Northern Crater, or could she actually feel the fires burning? She could certainly hear it crackling. The sound did not hide the faint screams of pain and horror.
"Damn…" Barret said quietly.
"This is terrible," Nanaki agreed. "Worse than I imagined…"
They were deeper into Nibelheim now, in front of the Shinra manor. The light of the flames danced on Cloud's face. He looked bemused, but not particularly upset. Tifa stepped away from Barret and Nanaki toward him.
"Cloud, don't watch this," she told him.
Without meaning to, her voice was low and pleading. Cloud lifted a hand as if to offer comfort, but then lowered it, a bewildered look on his face.
"Tifa, I know it's hard to see, but it's not real," he said reasonably. "Sephiroth is trying to mess with our heads, to scare us. You can't let him."
The door to the Shinra manor opened. Zack ran out. Cloud shook his head irritably.
"See, Tifa?" he said. "Just another stupid trick. This isn't what happened. Hey, Sephiroth!"
The last part, Cloud shouted. Tifa grabbed his arm, shaking her head frantically.
"Cloud wait –" she urged. "Don't – "
Cloud absently placed a reassuring hand on top of hers, ignoring her stammered pleas.
"Sephiroth!" he yelled again. "That's enough. We know this isn't real. Stop this stupid game. Come out and fight!"
There was no answer, but another flash. They were in the town square, still burning. They watched as Zack tried to help the villagers. Scenes played out in front of their eyes, intermittent flashes blinding them in between. In this reenactment of the past, there was no Cloud in sight. An awful laughter echoed over the crackling flames and faint cries. Cloud shook his head.
"This is stupid," he said. "Sephiroth, I know what you're trying to do. You want me to say I wasn't there right?"
The sounds of Nibelheim burning became muted. It seemed to Tifa that the scene around them also softened around the edges, as if were truly a memory, its details blurred by time. There was a faint pulsing in Tifa's ears and she heard a laughter that seemed to echo in her ears, reverberating within her skull.
"I don't want you to say anything," a cool voice proclaimed.
Barret and Nanaki jumped as Sephiroth appeared in front of them. Both Tifa and Cloud tensed, but neither of them were shocked by his sudden appearance. They had both felt his presence orchestrating the entire illusion from the time their vision had gone white. Cloud faced him now, shoulders straight and unafraid. Tifa trembled beside him.
"Then what's the point?" Cloud spat. "Why do this?"
Sephiroth paced slowly in front of them, a deadly and graceful predator. He looked Cloud up and down dismissively.
"I don't want you to say anything," Sephiroth repeated.
Sephiroth stopped in front of Tifa. His mouth curled in a cruel half-smile as he looked at her. Tifa quavered under his gaze. When she had first met Sephiroth, she had been only fifteen. He had barely looked at her. She had been a silly, inconsequential thing to him. A teenage girl dressed in her favorite cowboy hat and boots. Even when she had tried to murder him with his own sword, she had been nothing to him, a nuisance that could disposed of with a swipe of a blade.
Now he really looked at her. Tifa felt transparent, her greatest fears out in the open and exposed.
"Tifa," he said.
Her name on his lips sounded obscene.
"Tifa," Sephiroth said again, seemingly pleased at the effect it had the first time. "Is there anything you want to say?"
Tifa felt like the smallest version of herself. Not the tough, resilient fighter she had become. The frightened little girl inside of her had been ripped out and exposed. Her legs were shaking and her voice was stuck in her throat. She could not move.
Cloud shoved in front of her, his body blocking Sephiroth from her view.
"Don't talk to her!" he shouted. "Don't even look at her!"
Cloud's voice shook, not with fear but fury. Sephiroth raised an eyebrow at the sword pointed in his direction and made no move in his own defense. He shook his head at Cloud.
"You really think I would be the one to hurt her?" he asked.
The question makes Cloud laugh, humorlessly.
"Of course you would. You did!" he said. "You nearly killed her. I saw the scar!"
"I nearly killed her," Sephiroth repeats slowly.
His tone is dubious. Cloud made a frustrated sound in his throat.
"It was here, I remember everything from that night. The blood on my hands. The fire. The pain in my body…and in my heart!" Cloud was shouting by the time he finished.
"Oh, is that so?" Sephiroth asked, his tone mild. "You are just a puppet. You have no heart. And cannot feel any pain."
Sephiroth looked past Cloud to give Tifa a conspiratorial smile that sent a shiver down her spine.
"How can there be any meaning in the memory of such a being?" Sephiroth asked Tifa. "We both know what I have shown you is reality. His memory, that is the illusion."
Tifa shook her head hard. "Sephiroth, stop. Enough of this."
He laughed. "What are you so afraid of, Tifa?"
Cloud, still positioned protectively between Sephiroth and Tifa, glanced at her. His face was confused, but also concerned. Oh Cloud, Tifa thought, heart clenching. It was supposed to be my turn to save you.
"Don't be afraid, Tifa," Cloud said. "Tell him his stupid illusion doesn't scare us. We have our memories together, don't we?"
The trust in his voice nearly sent Tifa to her knees. She could have borne it if the Cloud she was facing now were any other version of Cloud. She might have shouted the truth in the face of Cloud that walked away from Aerith's resting place emotionless and cold. She would have brutally exposed every falsehood to snap Cloud of the robotic state he had been in only hours prior.
But this Cloud. This Cloud, Sephiroth had relinquished control of hours before. He should be here for this. Sephiroth's words taunted her. Tifa was defenseless against this Cloud. He looked at her, blue eyes fierce. He looked at her with a promise that he had her back and a guileless faith that she had his too. Words failed Tifa, but she could not look away from him. Cloud searched her face, bewildered at what he saw.
"Tifa?" he asked.
A small, pleading note in his voice. Tifa felt the sting of tears in her eyes and tried to swallow them. Be strong, she told herself. She had promised herself, promised Aerith, that she would try her best. That she would hold onto hope. But hope felt elusive as Tifa and Cloud stood facing each other, surrounded by the fading illusion of the worst night of their lives.
"Of course we have our memories together, Cloud," Tifa began.
She almost did not recognize her own voice. It was strained and tremulous.
"Of course we do," she repeated. "It's just that…"
Her voice failed as, for the first time since entering the crater, Cloud looked afraid. He quickly shook his head as if to throw off the creeping doubt. He shot a quick, angry look at Sephiroth. He was watching them, bored. His body was relaxed, offering no immediate threat.
Letting his sword drop in one hand, Cloud reached for Tifa with the other and pulled her aside. Tifa stumbled after him on boneless legs. Barret and Nanaki watched them warily, questions written all over their faces.
"Tifa," Cloud said urgently. "You don't have to worry about me. I don't believe a word of what he's saying."
Again, Tifa has the sensation that the ground was moving beneath her feet, that the world was falling apart around her. Cloud's hand was firm on her upper arm, tethering her to this moment. Their eyes locked.
"It's true I can't always figure out who I am. That my memories are muddled."
Tifa was reminded of the way he looked at her in Gongaga. His face was open, vulnerable. Cloud stepped closer, voice gaining confidence.
"But Tifa, remember?" he said. "When we met again in Midgar, you knew me. You said my name."
His lips quirked in a smile at the memory.
"No matter what anyone else says, I'm the Cloud you grew up with. No matter how much I doubt myself, that's the truth. It's you, your words. That's all that matters to me. That's why you shouldn't be so scared."
Tifa trembled beneath his hand. Not breaking his gaze, she slowly shook her head. The soft, confident smile on his face slipped. Tifa's heart shattered.
"No, Cloud," she managed to say.
His hand tightened on her arm. There was a glint of something like betrayal, or perhaps panic, in his eyes.
"What do you mean?" he asked.
The softness in his voice was gone, fear giving it a harsh edge. His hand squeezed hard and despite herself, Tifa yelped. Cloud let go immediately. He staggered backwards, away from her. His hand opened and closed slowly, and he stared down at it like he had never seen it before.
Immediately, Barret and Nanaki were at Tifa's side. Nanaki leaned against her legs and Barret's heavy hand fell on her shoulders. Tifa could take comfort from neither.
"What in the hell is going on here?!" Barret growled.
He was glaring at Cloud, days of unspoken suspicion finally boiling over. Nanaki looked back and forth between Cloud and Tifa, distressed. Cloud did not answer but continued to look down at his open palm. His other arm hung limply at his side, sword dragging on the ground.
Sephiroth's laugh was soft, but it still startled Tifa, Barret, and Nanaki as he approached. Cloud did not respond.
"Do not blame Tifa, Cloud."
He stalked closer. At Tifa's name, Cloud looked up. He made a sudden movement, as if to shift in front of her again, but Sephiroth shook his head, eyes bright with amusement.
"Like I said, Cloud," he drawled. "What reason would I have to hurt her?"
Cloud's fury returned and he lifted his sword again, facing Sephiroth.
"What are you trying to say?" he demanded.
Sephiroth watched him calmly, unresponsive to Cloud's aggressive stance. He arched one silver eyebrow.
"I am saying," he said slowly. "That you are a puppet. If I wished for her to be hurt, you would do it for me."
Cloud froze. "I'm not-"
The words died on his lips and his face crinkled in confusion. Behind her, Barret released an agitated breath. He addressed Sephiroth for the first time.
"Cloud would never," he said, waving his gun arm for emphasis. "He wouldn't hurt Tifa."
Barret's defense of Cloud despite everything should have touched Tifa. Now, it did nothing to quell her dread. She saw in her mind, as clearly as if Sephiroth were forcing them into another illusion, the reactor in Gongaga. Cloud's cold words, his weapon raised to attack her. Her heels precariously on the edge as she backed away in fear, pleading for him to stop. The whisper of his blade so close to her skin as she fell.
"No?" Sephiroth asked mockingly. "He would never? Never try to kill her? Never push her, let's say, into a pool of mako?"
"A pool of mak-"
Barret cut his question short. His hand dropped from Tifa's shoulder in disbelief.
"Nah," he said, shaking his head and muttering to himself. "That can't…"
Nanaki nudged Tifa's leg. "Tifa?"
She ignored both of them, watching Cloud. He was facing her, staring at the ground between them. His eyes danced back and forth, and Tifa knew he was reliving the same, terrible moment. She had not been sure, before, how much he remembered. Now, his eyes widened, and he looked up at her with growing devastation. Tifa met his eyes.
"You didn't kill me," she said firmly. "You didn't hurt me. Not even a scratch."
She could feel Barret staring at her. When he spoke, his voice was horrified. "Tifa…"
Sephiroth scoffed.
"Obviously he did not succeed," he said. "But what can you expect from a mere puppet? An experiment. A failure."
He drew out the last word, relishing it. Cloud winced, but he did not look away from Tifa. He was frozen, his hands still tightly gripping his sword. I'm the Cloud you grew up with. She could hear the words in the silent plea of his gaze. He looked fragile, like the wrong word would shatter him. It's you, your words. That's all that matters to me. But she did not know which words to say to keep them both from falling apart.
Tifa took a shaking step toward Cloud. Barret made a sound of protest. Nanaki whined faintly. She put out a hand to silence them.
"Cloud," she said, unable to manage much more than a whisper. "You are not a puppet."
His eyes were huge, hanging on her every word. Tifa took a step closer. She could fix this. She could. Sephiroth's words hung between them, confounding and terrible. There was truth in them, but also lies. Tifa could not figure out which were which. But when she was close to Cloud, she could feel the truth of him. The truth of them. They had never needed words. She needed to be close to him, to touch him.
"Not a puppet?"
Sephiroth's voice was soft, but Cloud jerked as though slapped. He screwed his eyes shut, his face scrunching in pain. Desperate, Tifa took another step, reaching for him.
Cloud moved so quickly, Tifa did not see it happen. One moment, his blade was lowered, and the next, it was above him. Above her. Threatening to strike. Cloud bared his teeth, his eyes still shut. His arms jerked and shook as though straining against an invisible force. Tifa skidded to a stop.
Suddenly, his eyes snapped open. Cold, blue mako eyes. It was in that moment, Tifa's own body betrayed her. She flinched back in fear. Tripped over her feet. She fell, hard. An involuntary cry of pain and fear escaped her. Pathetically, her arms lifted to block her face. She faintly registered Barret and Nanaki's shouts of alarm.
A breath later, she was still on the ground. Still alive. She lowered her arms. When she looked up, Cloud was looking down at her. His eyes were no longer cold. They were agonized, a strange mixture of terror and self-loathing. Tifa swallowed her own fear and scrambled to her knees.
"Cloud-" she started, reaching for him again.
Sword still held high, Cloud tried to step away from her. His feet dragged strangely. He gave a strangled yell.
"Barret!" he managed through clenched teeth. "Get her- Get Tifa away from me."
Arms came around Tifa and dragged her upright, away from Cloud. She struggled, but ineffectively, her arms pinned in a bear hug. Barret grunted as Tifa's heel connected to his shin, but he did not loosen his hold on her. When they were a safe distance away, Barret stopped. Nanaki came between them and Cloud, braced in a defensive stance.
"Enough," Sephiroth's voice cut like steel.
Cloud froze, arms still extended. Tifa stopped struggling against Barret. They still stood in the illusion of the town square of Nibelheim, Tifa, Barret, and Nanaki on one side, Cloud alone on the other. Sephiroth, in between. Flames danced around them.
Sephiroth made a subtle movement with his head, barely a nod. All at once, the tension left Cloud's body. His arms fell limply to his sides, the sword slipping out of his hand to the ground. He remained standing, but his body went slack, face blank and shoulders hunching toward the ground.
He looked, Tifa thought, like a puppet with cut strings.
