I do not RWBY, Red vs. Blue, or anything related to Rooster Teeth whatsoever. This is rated T for the Teen and Up Audience.

Images are displayed on the website Archive of Our Own! Anyway, other than that, enjoy!


Come, come, children! Gather around, and listen to the Legend of the Warriors of Remnant. A.K.A., Team RWBY. A.K.A., The Huntresses of Beacon.

Raised in the world of Remnant, where warriors fight against dark shadowy creatures known as Grimm, these lasses were taught to help fight and win battles, fighting the good fight for those who can't fight good.

They all grew...

And they grew...

And they grew!

Ruby Rose was a little lass all in red with bright energy and was sensitive like a smile, and her pureness was not discriminated against.

Weiss Schnee was an heiress to a huge company of rocks with riches and high fame praised by many.

Blake Belladonna was a human cat who fought for the freedom of her animal people and peace and equality.

And Yang Xiao Long was a free-spirited lass who goes where the wind takes her, riding on her wild motor beast, and punching the life out of ruffians with her firing spirit.

Together, they embark on a journey of fighting the good fights and they were loved by many. They once loved men with lots of muscles of the sun. Another time, they loved a bunch of men, on a Grimm wolf (Actually, none of that ever happened, but you can imagine that if you'd like). But for each of these lasses, they had one true love.

For Ruby, her true love was this one small lad named Oscar Pipeline. Oh, wait no, uh...was it Oscar Peep-pie? Or no...uh...was it Pinecone? Ah, yes, Oscar Pinecone!

For Weiss, it was that one lady-hitting lad named Neptune Vasilias, who was also afraid of water for some odd reason.

For Blake, it was that one crazy psychotic ex-boyfriend animal man named Adam Taurus. Then, it was that one man of a monkey lad named Sun Wukong.

And for Yang...uh...well, let's just say she had a lot of first loves.

Until one day, sadly, in a battle for love, Ruby lost, then Weiss lost, then Blake lost, then Yang lost, and then...they all lost.

SLAP

Ooh!

SLAP

Ooh, again!

SLAP

Ooh, again!

MULTIPLE PUNCHES

And again, ooh! Damn, now that's gonna hurt!

In fact, they lost a lot of people in those days. Ruby's mum.

Their dads!

And that girl.

And that guy.

And that guy.

And whoever that is.

And Penny.

And their mum.

Weiss: MOM!

And their mum again.

Blake: MOM!

And again.

Yang: MOM!

Poor Team RWBY had to watch their planet explode.

And Ruby said, "Weiss..."

And then Weiss said, "Yeah, Ruby...?"

And then Ruby said, "What have we done...?"

It seemed that everything and everyone they loved, they lost, and so they hid their hearts behind big fleshy bods, so that they could never be broken again.

Yang: BURP!

But just because they were done loving, didn't mean they were done fighting. Together with Team JNR, they teamed up with the Galaxy's Greatest Heroes, The Reds and Blues!

And set off on some classic Team RWBY Adventures! Together, they got in shape. Putting in the hard yards. Turning pain into gains, and never skipping leg day!

In fact, they had gained a lot of things after losing weight. Ruby grew new heights, Weiss grew some bazongas, Blake regrew her hair, and Yang grew more muscular!

They went from fat bods to sexy goddess bods!

But beneath their sexy goddess bods, there were still sad bods just trying to get out.

Because all the bods that Team RWBY had worn over the years couldn't hide the pain that they were feeling on the inside.

And so, they gave up on their search for love, accepting that they were only good for one thing; waiting in quiet contemplation for someone to say: "Team RWBY, we need your help to win this battle."

Caboose: TEEEEEAAAAAMMMMM RWWWWWBBBBBYYYYY-Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-

Carolina: Caboose.

Caboose: Oh, sorry.

Washington: Right, well...we need your help to win this battle. C'mon, let's go.

Ruby: Sigh Okay. C'mon, team, let's go. Back to work.

Weiss: And just when we were having a relaxing day.

(Team RWBY gathers their weapons)

Blake: Alright, let's go. People are dying.

Yang: See ya down there.

(Jumps off the mountain)

Ruby: HUUUUURRRRRRRRRRYYYYY UUUUUPPPPP!


So what did you guys think of the opening of this? Please leave your thoughts in the reviews. Also, if you plan on using this opening to make a full story of it, please feel free to do so! I look forward to seeing how you make the story.