Chapter 21: Bad Romance

Sakuzy, meanwhile, struggled as the Rollers continued their assault. Despite his best efforts, he couldn't break free. He could tell what this was: a plan to get him alone. If his experience in KuzKingdom was any indication, these Crystalli people wanted him. Why, he had no idea. But he could tell it was a trap.

They forced him to the Warden's house. With a one-two slam, the Rollers rammed into him. He yelled as he was sent careening through the door, hitting the floor in a heap.

"Nice of you to drop in. I'd have invited you, myself, but there's just a charm in using drones," greeted a preppy voice. Sakuzy regained himself, rolling to his knees and seeing a hooded figure, wearing a crimson cloak, though it was exposed on part of the hip to show a blood red crystal attached. Sakuzy could tell that it was a woman underneath...and she was just sipping from a steaming mug. "Coffee? It'll help pep you up. Lou's got some good blends. That's the warden, by the way. Lou Walker. Not sure why she NEEDS that outlaw's treasure. Guess some people just can't let things go..."

"Who...are you?" Sakuzy asked, getting to his feet and readying his Keyblade. "Are you like the others?"

"You mean Sapphy, Emmy, Amboo, and Pearly? Naturally," she replied. "Oh, sorry! Where ARE my manners? I'm called Ruby."

Sapphire, Emerald, Amber, Pearl, and now Ruby...

"I'm sensing a pattern here," Sakuzy said.

"Yeah, it's a bit of a thing Now, the others said your Nobody pal did a bit of a mind whammy on you. Well, if anything can break you out of it..." Ruby shrugged, lowering her hood to reveal quite a fetching one with orange hair that trailed down her back with part of it obscuring one of her bright red eyes. She batted her eyelashes, asking, "Do you remember me, Kuku?"

Sakuzy was about to ask the same question Yozora had, about how many nicknames he had. Then, it happened again. A splitting pain ran through his head as a new memory ran through it...

Sakuzy walked to the mess hall, followed by Joyex, Emerald, and Amber. He just picked up a sandwich on a tray and bit into it. Instantly, his gag reflex kicked in.

"What IS THIS?!" he groaned.

"Eh, don't ask questions you don't wanna know the answer to," Joyex said, pulling up a chair as they sat down.

"Thought the new guy got the notes we sent earlier," Amber remarked.

"The old guys got to 'im. It always happens," Emerald said.

The table suddenly bucked as they yelled, along with a new voice. The source was a girl with short, silvery-white hair and pale blue eyes.

"SORRY! I'M SORRY! DIDN'T SEE THE TABLE THERE! I...s-sorry!" she babbled.

"Hey, it's okay," Sakuzy said, helping the girl to her feet.

"Thanks," the girl said. Sakuzy felt himself turn a little red as the girl smiled as well.

"I'm Sakuzy," Sakuzy said.

"I-I'm..."

"There you are," came a voice. A girl who looked like Ruby walked in, but her eyes were green instead of red. "Why do you keep wandering off like that? This is why you got me, your easy GPS."

"Sorry, was just...wait, this ISN'T the way to our usual table?" the silver-haired girl asked, looking around.

"She's hopeless," Ruby snickered, giving the others an apologetic wave.

"Trust me, I know your pain," Joyex nodded. "These three make me wanna consider changing my occupation from Keywielder to Cat Herder."

"Oh, shut up, you love us," Amber laughed.

Ruby gave Sakuzy a look over before smiling, "Hmm...like this one already. Like this one a LOT. Welcome to the Academy, I'm-"

"Wha...we KNEW each other?" Sakuzy asked.

"Bit more than that, lover boy," Ruby beamed.

"Excuse me?"

"Still need a few blanks filled in?" Ruby asked, flicking her hands. With bursts of flame, a set of chakram formed in her fist. "A little romantic single combat always gets things flowing."

The music began to play and Sakuzy knew he was in a moment like the fight with Sugilite...without Joyex or Kuzco to counteract it.

Want your bad romance...

Want your bad romance...

Ruby sashayed towards him, twirling her chakram on a finger. Sakuzy just readied his Keyblade.

Ruby: I want your ugly, I want your disease...

I want your everything as long as it's free~

I want your love!

Love, love, love!

I want your love!

She tossed her chakrams, which caught fire as they sped towards him like burning buzzsaws. Sakuzy deflected one, but another hit him on the shoulder, sending him into the wall. Ruby crossed the distance and rubbed a hand across his cheek in a soft, sensual way that made Sakuzy's skin crawl.

Ruby: I want your drama, the touch of your hand...

I want your leather-studded kiss in the sand~

I want your love!

Love, love, love!

I want your love~

She pulled her chakram free and kicked Sakzuy across the way, smashing into the Warden's vanity, sending makeup and shards of mirror everywhere. She strutted up to him, twirling her chakrams again, swaying her hips.

"You know that I want you, and you know that I need you," she breathed heavily as she readied a fireball, "I want it bad, a bad romance!"

Sakuzy jumped up, his Keyblade already glowing.

Ruby: I want your love and I want your revenge!

You and me could write a bad romance!

The two exchanged blows, Ruby slashing with her chakram as they caught fire, blasting the Keywielder with fire. He yelled in pain before she slammed him into the floor again.

Ruby: I want your love and all your lovers' revenge!

You and me could write a bad romance!

Oh-oh-oooh-oh-oh-oh-oooh-oh-oh-oh~

Caught in a bad romance!

Oh-oh-oooh-oh-oh-oh-oooh-oh-oh-oh~

Caught in a bad romance!

She straddled him before sending blasts of flame into Sakuzy. He kicked her off before jumping away. She just turned around with a predatory grin as the crimson blood flowed back to her body.

Want your bad romance...

Want your bad romance...

"HERE WE GO!" Sakuzy shouted, New Groove transforming in his hands. It reformed into a mace with a golden head like Kuzco's palace. Emperor's Beat, he thought it was.

Ruby flung her chakrams at him, but with two strikes, he deflected them with loud trumpet blares. Apparently, a Keyblade's transformation gave it new powers as well.

"Good to know!" Sakuzy said, feeling energy build up in him as Ruby was on him again.

Ruby: I want your horror!

I want your design!

'Cause you're a criminal as long as you're mine!

I want your love!

Love love love!

I want your love!

Sakuzy struck the mace down as it suddenly let out a series of lights, which pummeled Ruby to the same rhythm she was using. He laughed as she was smashed right through the wooden wall.

"Collateral damage, gotta love it," he said.

"FIRAGA!"

A fireball flew through the hole and slammed Sakuzy full on, sending him crashing into the sofa, smashing it to splinters. Ruby stepped through, flames pouring from her mouth and making her look positively demonic.

Ruby: I want your psycho, your vertigo stick!

Want you in my room when

Your baby is sick!

I want your love!

Love love love!

I want your love!

"Are you just saying words now?" Sakuzy asked. He didn't know what "vertigo stick" meant, but didn't want to find out, either.

"You know that I want you, and you know that I need you," Ruby repeated, preparing another fireball. "I want it bad! a bad romance!"

Before she could launch it, Sakuzy rolled out of the way, realizing his Keyblade reverted back to New Groove. Apparently, the changes were just one shot wonders. He threw his Keyblade in a Strike Raid, slamming into Ruby, but she kept approaching him, that smile still on her face...

Ruby: I want your love, and I want your revenge!

You and me could write a bad romance!

I want your love and all your love has revenge!

You and me could write a bad romance!

Oh-oh-oooh-oh-oh-oh-oooh-oh~

Caught in a bad romance!

Oh-oh-oooh-oh-oh-oh-oooh-oh~

Caught in a bad romance!

Want your bad romance...

Want your bad romance...

Despite everything he did, she wound up right in Sakuzy's face. She grabbed the back of his head and began leaning in close...

"BAD TOUCH, SISTER!"

Ruby yelled as a whip tangled around her midsection and dragged her away. With a snarl, she turned around to see Joyex, his whip chain having wrapped around her.

"What took ya so long?" Sakuzy asked with a relieved laugh.

"Oh, y'know, giant killer crystal bugs," Joyex said, smashing Ruby around the interior before slamming her into the floor.

"You always WERE a blocker, you heartless freak," Ruby snarled as she got to her feet.

"No idea who you are, but I'm a Nobody. The other guy's a Heartless," Joyex grinned.

Ruby roared as fire erupted around her, her chakram turning into burning wheels of flame as the two readied themselves. She charged at Sakuzy, slashing at him. Joyex jumped in with a crack of his whip, but she blocked.

Ruby: I want your love, and I want your revenge!

I want your love! I don't wanna be friends!

Je veux ton amour!

Et je veux ta revanche!

Je veux ton amour!

I don't wanna be friends!

I don't wanna be friends!

No I don't wanna be friends!

"Not with that attitude," Joyex quipped. A burning fist slammed into his face before Sakuzy sped over in a Sonic Blade.

Ruby: Want your bad romance!

Want your bad romance!

I want your love, and I want your revenge!

You and me could write a bad romance!

I want your love and all your lovers' revenge!

You and me could write a bad romance!

Oh-oh-oooh-oh-oh-oh-oooh-oh!

Caught in a bad romance!

Oh-oh-oooh-oh-oh-oh-oooh-oh!

Ruby tumbled, but held her hands out. Her chakram began spinning around her, burning brighter like a small sun. She laughed as she prepared her next strike.

Ruby: Caught in a bad romance!

Want your bad romance!

Want your bad romance!

The massive fireball began to move then. Sakuzy and Joyex felt their eyes bulge at the oncoming blast...

POHPOHPOHPOHPOHPOH

The Parasite rocketed forward, ramming into Yozora, who blocked with his shovel and macuahuitl. He yelled as he shifted ever slightly, sending it careening to the side. Becca bombarded it with spells, but this only left it stunned.

"So, all of this to try getting some long dead bandit's treasure?" Yozora asked, thankful for a little breathing room.

"That's the gist of it, yeah," Becca nodded.

"Wow...not even telemarketers would stoop that low," Yozora remarked.

That got Becca to snicker a bit, "You say that like it's nothing, but don't even know what a kiss is?"

"Yeah, care to enlighten me on that?" Yozora asked with a playful laugh of his own.

A burst of energy erupted from the Parasite, Becca jumping in front to block it only to be propelled backward, crashing into the sand of the desert. Pearl remained a silent sentinel, watching them as her Rollers kept them blocked in. It was a trap to keep them stuck in there and they fell for it.

The insectoid Crystalli got to its feet, ready for another attack. But with a loud yell, Lucy sprung from the hole, slashing at it with her sword. The Parasite lurched in pain as the sword fighter returned to her comrades.

"Well, Sakuzy and Joyex are gone, Croccer and ADHD two are out, and Stanley and Zero are scared. Any ideas?" Lucy asked.

"One," Becca replied. "We split up, hit it from different sides. It can't get all of us at the same time. Whoever gets through, HIT IT AS HARD AS YOU CAN."

"My kinda plan," Yozora grinned as they all tensed up, preparing to move.

As the Parasite began charging up for another blast, that was when they scattered. Yozora ran straight at the thing, Becca went for the left, and Lucy veered right. This confused the Parasite for a second before it fired its beam at Lucy. Before it could make it, though, she touched her panpipes. Much like in KuzKingdom, there seemed to be a new power there...

"Come on, new thing," she said. A feeling of familiarity rushed through her as a deep red aura surrounded her. She then began to move with the grace and style of a choreographed dancer, evading the blast and striking out, sending a colorful stream of llamas at the Parasite. "BOO-YAH!"

The strike knocked the Parasite off balance. Becca then moved, jumping over a limb as it lashed out. She made a swift counter, which knocked it onto the ground.

Right after doing this, Yozora jumped into the air. When he was right over the Parasite, he sped down and brought his weapons down.

CRUNCH!

The strike was heavy enough to send the monstrosity into the ground, crashing through the sand, dirt, and stone. And even some metal beneath it. Yozora had only a moment to wonder what it was before he heard something rushing out.

WHOOOSH!

A burst of water erupted out, sending the Parasite into the air...along with a screaming Yozora. The massive Crystalli arched into the air as EVERYONE began following it.

"YOZORA!" Becca yelled.

"WAIT FOR US!" Lucy called.

"HEY! YOU CAN'T DO THAT!" Pearl screamed.

"YOU'RE DESTROYING MY CAMP!" The Warden shrieked as she was followed by Mr. Sir and Pendanski.

POHPOHPOHPOHPOHPOH

As Ruby prepared her attack, Sakuzy and Joyex braced themselves, ready for the raging inferno that she was preparing to unleash.

...It never came, though.

CRASH!

The massive Crystalli Parasite smashed through the wall, reducing the house to splinters as it was sent through with a massive torrent of water, which slammed into Ruby with enough force to send her straight into the opposite wall. Sakuzy and Joyex blinked in confusion. This was only compounded as a dazed Yozora got to his feet.

"Uh...thanks," Sakuzy commented.

"I'm not complaining, but...needless destruction again," Joyex pointed out.

"Not my fault...someone put a house in my way," Yozora groaned before shaking his head. "Hey, what's going on here?"

"MY HOUSE!" The Warden screamed as she ran up. "YOU DESTROYED IT! YOU SAID YOU WOULD JUST HELP ME FIND THE TREASURE, NOT THIS!"

"Keep your shirt on," Ruby growled as she dislodged herself. "It'll just take some spit shine and..."

Becca and Lucy entered the fray as well. Pearl, too. Ruby turned pale as she saw the entire group there...but it seemed more like a pale someone turns when they're angry rather than afraid.

"You...you had ONE JOB, Pearl...just ONE and you screwed it up," she growled, eyes blazing.

"I-I'm sorry," Pearl squeaked. "I tried! It was working! DON'T BE ANGRY!"

Sakuzy's eyes widened at the voice. The previous few Crystalli, he had to see their faces first. But it rang a sort of bell, "Wait...we...do we know each other?"

The pink-cloaked Crystalli turned to Sakuzy. She looked ready to speak...

But then, there was that screeching noise. Sapphire had returned as the sun slowly began to rise from behind them. His face was still concealed, but just from how tensely he carried himself, they could tell that he was MAD. And he was looking straight at Ruby. The red Crystalli's rage seemed to dissipate immediately as she suddenly seemed afraid. Before she could speak, the blue Crystalli spoke.

"We're leaving NOW."

"Wait, Saku-" with a loud screech, she disappeared. Sapphire then pointed at Ruby and did the same. He then vanished as well, leaving everyone staring in shock.

"The heck was that about?" Sakuzy asked.

"Heck if I know," Joyex shrugged.

"You...you all just...just..." the Warden sputtered as the inmates of Camp Green Lake gathered.

"Whoa, what's this, dude?" Armpit asked.

"Wicked SICK, that's what it is," Zigzag grinned.

"Yo, ya hit the water main! Probably first time we've gotten rain 'round here," X-Ray smirked.

At that point, police sirens blared. Apparently, the commotion had gotten the attention of...somebody or other as a woman in a business suit marched out, flanked by a few officers. Leading them were Stanley and Zero, supporting Croccer and ADHD, both looking thoroughly dazed, but no worse for wear.

"Don't worry, mates. I'm okay," Croccer grinned.

"Th-these HOODLUMS have WRECKED my camp and taken my property! That there's MINE! It was buried on my-" The Warden ranted, but was cut off.

"No, it's Stanley's. It has his name on it," Zero snapped, pointing at the small plate on it. "STAN-LEY YEL-NATS!"

"I'm Stanley's attorney," the woman said. "And we have evidence proving his innocence in this. We're here to take him home."

"Really?" Stanley asked, but shook his head, "N-no, I can't leave without Hector."

"CAVEMAN!" Squid exclaimed. "YOU'RE ALIVE!"

"What's up, Zero?" Magnet eagerly asked, catching the shorter inmate in a one-armed hug.

"We're alive, too, guys," ADHD weakly added.

"Well...there seems to be no file on Hector Zeroni," Pendanski said.

"What kind of camp are you runnin' here?" one of the officers asked. "I'm orderin' an investigation of this facility..."

"Marion Sevillo," the other officer said, cuffing Mr. Sir. "You're in violation of your parole, carrying this weapon."

"I had NO idea he was carrying that," the Warden hurriedly said.

"Yeah, just like ya didn't know Pendanski ain't no DOCTOR, neither," Mr. Sir snapped.

"Ooh, dull surprise there," Yozora said with a smug grin.

"Hey, didn't know Marion was a man's name," Zigzag grinned.

"It ain't," Mr. Sir said.

"But these...delinquents? They're trespassing. Nothing on them AT ALL," the Warden said, pointing to five. "They just snuck in, pretending to be in here for God knows why!"

"Is this true?" Stanley's attorney asked.

"Uh...well...see, the thing about that is...uh," Sakuzy said. "Guys, any ideas?"

"One, it's a longshot, but I think it's worth trying," Joyex murmured. He cleared his throat before holding up a finger, as if preparing an ironclad defense.

"Eat my shorts, ya nerds! WE'RE OUT!"

With that, he bolted. Sakuzy looked at the others and shrugged before running after him, the others in tow. But not before turning around and giving a small salute to Stanley.

"Good luck!" he exclaimed.

"By the way, she had two girls sleeping in the same room as a bunch of boys and didn't even realize it!" Becca shouted as she ran after the group. She figured this got some revenge for Sam and Kate.

POHPOHPOHPOHPOHPOH

It was at the peak of God's Thumb where they came to a halt, showing all the Gummis they had gathered.

"Okay, we just need that last rocket to get us outta this godforsaken sandbox," Joyex said. "But now...do we HAVE to go back?"

"I dunno, those guys kinda grew on me," Becca commented.

"Yeah, you NEED to get out of here," Sakuzy said, playfully shaking her shoulder.

"Sides, I solved our problem," Lucy smirked, pulling out the final Gummi piece...along with a charm that bore a face that resembled a frog. "Found this where Stanley and Zero were hiding. BAM! Also, this thing looks like what you guys used against that thing. So, it's MINE~"

"Wow, you saved our bacon," Joyex said.

"Bacon requires preservation, yes," Yozora nodded, sagely.

"And probably a bit more, eh?" They saw Croccer climb up the side of the cliff with bony spikes moments before ADHD ran up. "G'day, mates!"

"Oh, hey!" Sakuzy said. "Why'd you two come out here?"

"Well, y'know, they started askin' questions, figured a dramatic escape was called for," Croccer said with an over-dramatic sniff. "Gonna miss those yahoos down there. Especially Armpit..."

"So, what's next for you?" Becca asked.

"Not sure, honestly," ADHD said, sheepishly. "Guess we're wandering the desert like a band of renegades...eh, I could think of worse."

They then heard a rumbling sound as storm clouds gathered overhead. Rain began pouring down, hitting the desert below. Becca felt herself smile. She could just tell that things were better...

And then her Keyblade formed in her hand. She pointed it right at the onion field, which she now realized belonged to Sam long ago. A beam of light flew from the tip as it hit a giant Keyhole. A locking sound came from it, telling her that this world would be in good hands.

"Looks like it's time to say 'hooroo', mates. Means 'see ya later', case ya were wonderin'," Croccer said, taking out the tube of lipstick and flicking it to Becca. "Here ya go. Li'l souvenir to remember us by!"

Becca caught the lipstick and an idea occurred to her. She attached it to the keychain at the base of her out Keyblade. In a flash, it changed, becoming a long shovel with a dirty head and a single revolver coming out of the shaft. Outlaw Shovel came to mind.

Joyex though looked a little torn. He then sighed before taking some of their blocks and handing them to Croccer, "Here. These'll be enough to get you outta here and where you wanna go. We got more than enough to get where we're going. Just...well, I trust you with this."

Croccer looked at the Gummis and took them in hand with a tip of his hat and a very sincere, "Thank ya. Gotta say, yer a buncha good chuzzwallers."

"Chuzzwallers?" Sakuzy asked.

"No idea," Becca shrugged. "What's that mean?"

Croccer let out a laugh, "Absolutely NOTHIN'. I made it up!"

"Oh, ha-ha," Sakuzy laughed.

"But mates?" Croccer asked. "If ya go chasin' fer yer pasts? Just...be careful. It'll eat ya alive if ya let it."

There was a pregnant pause before Becca simply said, "Thanks for that...Scott."

"See ya 'round, mates," Croccer said, giving a salute as their Gummi Ship reformed...albeit a little smaller than what they were used to. And they took off into space.

POHPOHPOHPOHPOHPOH

The ship was...a little cozier than what they had before, but still generally comfortable. Everyone was going about their business. Yozora was in the kitchen, proclaiming that he had a new recipe, Lucy was swinging her sword, Sakuzy was lounging in a chair, and Joyex was back in the pilot seat. Becca hovered next to him, awkwardly. There was a topic that needed to be broached...

"So...I'm...sorry about that," she sighed. "I know we talked it out, but still..."

"It's okay," Joyex shrugged. "And I'm sorry for dangling it over you like that. Let's just agree to...well, keep each other in the loop on stuff like that, okay?"

"Deal," Becca said.

Sakuzy remained silent. An annoying little thought came to him, concerning what he did in that wardrobe. He set it aside, though. Right now, they just had to get back to Traverse Town...

POHPOHPOHPOHPOHPOH

"What was THAT?" Sapphire barked as Ruby just winced. "You had them in the palm of your hand and you failed to capture the boy! What were you THINKING, Ruby? Or WERE you thinking at all?"

"Yeesh, Sapph's laying into him," Amber commented.

"Just glad it's not ME, honestly," Emerald said. He then noticed Pearl, putting her head in her hands. "Uh...you okay?"

"No," Pearl sighed. "He looked at me...he seemed to REMEMBER...and I couldn't even..."

"Hey, don't worry about it," the purplish-red robed figure of Spinel said, putting a hand on Pearl's head. "He'll have a crystal in him and you'll be back together like two peas in a pod...even if I gotta break every bone in his body first~"

"This is supposed to be a PEP TALK, y'know?" Emerald said.

"Just as soon as we fix up whatever that...GUY did to him," Amber added, a look of disgust crossing her face as she referred to Joyex.

"You are suspended from active duty until you can remember to keep your emotions in check," Sapphire concluded, wheeling away from a very sad-looking Ruby. "We need someone with a clear head to deal with them now..."

"I may have the person to deal with them," reported the purple-robed member, Amethyst, sitting in a crystalline chair, cool-as-you-please. "If there's one person who's NOT emotional, it's Opal. Aren't you, Opal?"

"Clear, concise logic is the key to victory," replied a girl in a purplish-blue robe. She lowered her hood to show eyes the same color as her robe, short, dark hair in a pixie cut, a detached expression, and a circular crystal embedded in her cheek. She then snapped her fingers. "Drones? Do it."

With a series of clicks and whirs, crystals began to gather together. Merging and shifting, they slowly began to take shape...it was the barrel of a massive gun.

Hitchhiker Entries:

Ruby:

One of the Crystalli generals. Clad in red and uses fire magic and a set of chakrams. This may remind people of someone, but she seems a bit...different. In that she's interested in Sakuzy. VERY interested. It means you need to treat her with caution, else she do another Lady Gaga showstopper.