"Ugh! Today was the worst!"
"I'd say you're being dramatic, but one, that's your job, and two, you're not wrong."
"It's a strange day that Logan agrees with Remus."
"Aw, don't be that way, Jay! You're just grumpy because they listened to you the least even after you were accepted."
"And by that he means not at all. I think I got maybe two sentences in edgewise."
"I keep telling you, you just have to be loud. Then they have to listen to you."
"You're the only one who can yell over Roman without damaging your vocal cords."
"Or your dignity."
"You could just shut them all up."
"I'm not allowed to anymore."
"What you got there, LoLo?"
"A drink. Don't tell Patton."
Remus gasped and put a hand over his heart. "Who do you think we are? I'm offended."
"That actually sounds good right about now."
"Here." Logan handed him his cup and took a swig from the bottle.
"I'd be concerned, but I think you need it. How did you put up with them for so long?"
"If you think of them as children it gets less frustrating."
"Oh, so what they are?" Janus took a sip.
"Burn!"
"Remus, darling, I hope you understand that you too are a child?"
"Duh."
"Glad we're on the same page."


"Has anyone seen Logan?"
"He's probably working." Roman didn't even look up from his phone.
"Hmm… well Janus said we need to be better about taking time for ourselves-"
"Not this again." Virgil huffed.
"I'm just saying I think it's been helpful so I'm going to go see if he wants to play a game or something."


"Lemow?"
Remus laughed. "No way nerd! L-M-A-O!"
"Oh! An acronym! Acronyms are exciting! What does it stand for?"
"Laughing my ass off."
"Oh. Makes sense. Though it would be unfortunate if you really did laugh your ass off."
"Why's that?" Remus's interest was peaked.
"Cause skinny thicc legend got me quaking."
"Oh my god where did you learn that?!" Remus cackled and rolled on the floor.
"Who is teaching you these things because I'd like their Venmo." Janus took a sip from his twelfth glass.


"He's not in his room."
"He might be in the other commons." Virgil noted.
"I'll go check."
"For real? I know you're buddy buddy with the snake but my brother's still down there you know."
"It'll be fine."
Roman and Virgil looked at each other. "Fine. We're coming, too."


"You know, this one's a banger." Remus was flopped over the back of the couch showing Logan his phone.
"Truly a bop." Logan nodded sagely.
"Put it on already!" Janus called from his nest of blankets.


"It sounds like they're having a party."
"Weird. Janus hates parties… What?! I lived with them for years! Of course I'd pick up on stuff. Let's just go so we can leave."
Patton smiled and continued their descent.

"I'm a bad guy… Duh!"
"Yasssss LoLo! Werk!"

They could hear laughter and exchanged glances. They quickly made their way to the bottom of the staircase and opened the door.

"I'm only good at being bad!"

There in all his glory was Logic, epitome of seriousness, tie untied, wiggling his body suggestively, and singing along to Bad Guy by Billie Eilish. (Picture save the rainforest.)

"Woo!" Remus threw fake bills at him and Janus had a blush, though from the performance or his drink was hard to say.

"Do Bury A Friend next!"
"Are you going to come out and play with us?"
"... Ok."

The three from upstairs were frozen through Janus's performance as he shattered a glass and removed layers. (He still was wearing black slacks, button down, fancy shoes, and his hat, but that wasn't a lot compared to his usual ensemble.)

"Yassss kween! Slay!"
Remus whooped.

Roman was the first to break out of his stupor and whispered to the others. "I think we should go back upstairs and pretend this never happened."
Patton and Virgil nodded. They weren't too keen to find out what Remus's solo would bring.

(Spoilers: it was a black trash bag and fishnet stockings plus 6 inch pumps.)