CHAPTER 4: The Joker

2183 CE

I promised Shepard and Liara both an explanation. It was Shepard's decision to invite the rest of the team, but it wasn't one I disagreed with. Honestly, there wasn't much reason to hide anything from them anymore. With Wrex alive, Shepard's choice on the Genophage is almost irrelevant. I can tell Mordin the information he needs, and I'll have a few opportunities at Maelon's data in a few years. I can compensate for Shepard. Not that I think I'll have to.

No, there wasn't much reason to keep any of them in the dark anymore. I would need Wrex's help, and this was information that could help us save the galaxy. Honesty had always been the best policy with sort of thing. Open and forthright, that was the way to go.

'Alright Krell, what do you know about what's going on?' Shepard confronted me as soon as we reached the room where she liked to dial up and the hang up on the council. All the seats were full save one. Kaidan's chair was empty. Still, the rest of our band of merry misfits were all in attendance.

'Well, that's a complicated question, isn't it? I know a lot about what's going on. What do you want to know first?' I asked.

'Indoctrination. What is it, how do we fight it?' Shepard demanded.

'At the turn of the 20th century there was a Human writer named H.P. Lovecraft. I can't recommend him. His work was racist then, and it's comically so now. He was important in creating the genre of literature you know of as cosmic horror.' I explained.

'What does this have to do with the Reapers?' Ashley growled.

'I'm getting there.' I replied.

I took a deep breath.

'In the stories by Lovecraft there were these old gods, or outer gods or elder gods, the point is they were weird sea-fish monsters with the powers of deities. One of the big things about them was that just seeing them could cause your sanity to fracture and drive you mad, causing you to worship them.'

'Indoctrination.' Shepard realized.

I nodded. 'Basically." I agreed.

'He had this one character, Cthulhu. It slept, dead, yet still dreaming underneath the sea; waiting for the stars to align and signal the time for it to wake once more. There's a line about it: 'That is not dead which can eternal lie, and with strange eons even death can die.' Reapers are the same.' I continued.

'Wait, wait, the same? What do you mean by the same?' Ashley asked frantically.

'Indoctrination isn't an active process. It can be, if the Reaper's attention is focused on you, but Indoctrination isn't really something that Reapers do so much as it's a product of what they are. Their tech indoctrinates. Even pieces of it. Even broken pieces. Even a dead Reaper can dream, and the dreams of beings like the Reapers are far too powerful for us mere mortals not to get caught in their sway.' I stressed.

'Are there ways to stop it?' Liara asked, hopefully.

'There are ways to shield Reaper tech. Indoctrination works on a frequency. If you can find that frequency you can probably set up a shield to stop it. There's just one problem of course...' I answered.

'While you're testing frequencies to shield the damn thing you're going to be exposed to unshielded Reaper tech.' Shepard realized, nearly cursing at the realization.

'And thus indoctrinated.' I agreed.

'Alright. What are the Reapers, then? … And, how do you know all this?' Garrus asked.

'The same way Shepard does. Tell me Shepard, do you remember the story of the Alliance's first colony? Do you remember the story of Eden Prime?' I asked, smiling.

'We bought it... from... you.' Shepard realized.

'Yes, you did. I acquired the world you now call Eden Prime way back in 2154 CE. I say that I acquired the rights, but really the Noveria Development corporation acquired the rights, and I'm just the main shareholder of the NDC." I admitted, with what I hoped was a charming grin.

"The reason I acquired them was that I had documented evidence of a secret Prothean facility on the planet. A facility meant to be the last stand of the Protheans, which included cryostasis pods, and a Beacon.' I added.

'You saw the visions in the Beacon too! That's why you never cited your sources!' Liara exclaimed.

I nodded. 'That's right. Everyone on that email list besides you was fully aware of the source of my knowledge. There was no need to cite my sources. They knew where my sources were. After all, they stole them.'

'They, what? No. That can't be right! The council of Matriarchs are on that email list. The Citadel Council is on that email list! You're saying that, what? They knew this entire time!?' Liara demanded.

'That's exactly what I'm saying.' I smiled.

'No. Wait. No. That still doesn't make sense. When did you--? You found the beacon almost immediately, didn't you?' Liara asked.

'Some time in 2155 I think. It was just under a year later.'

'Yes but, you began explaining Reaper theory and Indoctrination almost immediately! There's no way that you could do that without a cipher! the timing just doesn't work out right!' Liara retorted.

'You're right. There's no way I could do it without a cipher. But you remember when I said there were Cryostasis pods?' I grinned.

'You didn't. No! Tell me I'm imagining things! You can't mean what I think you mean! There's no way it could be true!' Liara cried out in horrified, yet extremely eager shock.

Honestly, I'm impressed she managed to do it. A Krogan tries to feel that much at once, we just default to rage. Well, in the immortal words of Ted Danson, You really only need two emotions, anger and confusion. We Krogan have definitely got those covered. So really we're just incredibly minimalist, emotion-wise. Or maybe 'selective' would be a better word?

'I can't tell you if it's true or not unless you tell me what you think happened.' I replied with a shit-eating grin.

'I can only tell you what didn't happen. There's no way that you could have possibly spoken to a real, live Prothean.' Liara asserted firmly.

My grin was so wide I was showing teeth now. I never did that. Asari find it threatening. Well, Asari find most things Krogan do threatening, so that's nothing new.

'You're right. I didn't speak to a live Prothean.' I replied.

Liara visibly collapsed in relief, tension leaving her body as she exhaled, slumping into her chair.

'I spoke to fifteen. That's how I obtained the cipher.' I added, joyfully.

'By the goddess. Fifteen live Protheans! That's the story of the millennium! You found a working Prothean beacon and fifteen live Protheans! How does no one know about this?' Liara demanded.

'They got stolen. Abducted actually. I'm pretty sure that rhe Asari kidnapped my Protheans, and the Salarians took the beacon to decipher it. I've known about the return of the Reapers ever since.' I explained.

'Why didn't you prepare for it then!?' Shepard demanded angrily.

'I did prepare for it, Shepard. I'm the most heavily surveilled being in the Milky Way. I published paper after paper on Reaper theory and indoctrination. Before me Reaper theory wasn't even a footnote in Prothean research. I make sure that warnings and context have been getting set in front of the council for the past 30 years. I can do a lot, but I'm the most heavily surveilled person in the galaxy, Shepard! I can't lead a military build up! I can't recruit an army. I'm not free to act as I wish. The Quarians are convinced I can see the future, Shepard. How closely would you watch someone you thought could see the future? Whatever that amount is, the Salarians are even worse.'

'You absolutely can see the future, can't you Gramps? You sent me a birthday present before my mother even told anyone she was pregnant with me. My mother wasn't anyone back then. She and you had no connection whatsoever, except for the fact that we're all serving on the Normandy together now. On a team to defeat the Reapers.' Tali spoke up.

'Calling it the ability to see the future is ridiculous.' I protested.

'What should we call it then?' Garrus asked, amused.

'It's a lot more like I stole the answers from a teacher right before the test.' I admitted.

'That would be academically dishonest!' Liara gasped horrified. Notably, she was the only one to do so.

'I think we're all more focused on the fact that the Old Man here admits to knowing the future, Liara.' Shepard corrected.

'That's so grandiose! I don't know the future. I know a few critical points here and there. Minor stuff, like the First Contact War, and maybe a few birthdays. I keep it all in my Calendar. Have for over a millennium. Pretty sure it's why I haven't had to pay my secretaries in centuries.'

'You put the First Contact War in your calendar?' Shepard started to ask, but she was interrupted by Ashley.

'You were there! that's why you were there when the Turians attacked! you knew what was going to happen ahead of time!'

'That is indeed why I was there, yes. I like Humanity. You guys are the most Krogan-like species in citadel space. Didn't wanna let the Turians set a bad example.' I grinned.

'Oooh. Not gonna lie, Krell, that one hurts. Having a Krogan set a better example than us Turians, yeah. I'm gonna feel that one for a while.' Garrus groaned.

'You could have saved my grandfather!' Ashley realized.

'I did save your grandfather, Ashley. Well, he probably would have survived anyway, but my intel about the Turians saved a lot of Human lives and ended the Shanxi invasion a lot faster than it otherwise would have. General Williams was rightly hailed as a hero at the time. It wasn't until later that his own government started to tear into his reputation in search of a scapegoat.'

'So then what's the Conduit? And where's Saren headed?' Wrex asked, cutting right to the chase.

'Okay, I do know the answer to both of those things, and I promise I'm going to tell you, but you have to promise me that we'll go to Ferros and save the colony there.'

'Why? If we know where Saren's headed, we'll be able to beat him there and stop him earlier! What's the point in waiting?' Shepard asked.

'You know, that's a good point. Okay. Let me tell you what I know. We can make this decision together.' I decided.

I looked sharply at every single one of the people around me. 'Nothing I say here leaves this room until it's absolutely necessary.'

I could hear murmurs of discontent.

'I don't think you understand what a threat Indoctrination is. Back in 2163 CE, The batarians discovered a wreck in the Dis system that you humans have codenamed the Leviathan of Dis. It was a Reaper, killed in battle.'

'How?' Wrex asked.

'Not the focus of this story, sorry, Wrex. You remember how I said even dead Reapers can dream? That's how I know. The entire science team became indoctrinated. Along with a number of high ranking politicians. The entire Hedgemony is basically under Reaper control and the only thing stopping them from acting up with Saren is that they don't know that it's a Reaper plot that they could help with. By the time this comes to a head? The Batarians will fall without any fight at all.'

'So, you're saying that anyone can be working for the Reapers? That's why we must keep this information safe?' Tali asked.

'That's exactly what I'm saying, kid. Anything we say will be used against us. Now, back to what I know.'

I stood up and started to pace.

'This goes back to the start of the Reaper Cycle, I think. Reapers are machines, but they're made from organics. Are you familiar with the paperclip optimization problem with computer intelligences?'

'You make a VI and tell it to maximize paperclip production. It does so with no consideration for anything else, including Human life, until the entire Earth is paperclips.' Shepard replied.

'Those are the salient points. The Reapers are basically the paperclip optimization problem writ large. An ancient race built them to preserve organic life. They do this by harvesting the spaceflight-capable species at the end of every cycle and turning them into new Reapers. This is what caused the massive harvests of entire planets that you're seeing in your visions from the Beacon, Shepard. The Reapers then built the citadel as the central means of controlling each cycle. The Citadel controls the relays. It sends the signal that invites the Reapers in.'

'Your technology progresses along paths we desire.' Shepard realized.

'Son of a bitch! It's not just the citadel, the whole relay system is a trap. If you use the relays to travel then all of your population is going to settle around the relays! The side would controls the relays controls all travel in the galaxy. They could cut us off in a second!' Shepard cursed.

'They could! If... the last remaining Protheans hadn't sabotaged the controls after the Reapers headed back to dark space to await the end of our cycle. That's why Saren needs to access the controls on the Citadel if he wants to kickstart the Reaper invasion and to do that he needs to get around the citadel fleet. And that's why Saren wants the Conduit.'

'But what is the Conduit?' Tali asked.

'You've actually seen it. Well, you've seen half of it. It's the relay monument. The relay monument is a working mass relay. The Protheans built a link to it on the planet Ilos. With it, they snuck back onto the Citadel and sabotaged the automatic signal that is sent to dark space to recall the Reaper fleet.'

'So, we don't need to find Saren. We just need to be where he intends to be before he can get there.' Shepard realized.

'Right. That means Ilos or the Citadel. But there are other concerns too. You have the contents of two separate beacons. You need access to the Cipher.'

'But don't you have the cipher?' Shepard replied.

'I do. But I can't give it to you, and I'm not about to trust that Liara can manage it when she has no experience with it. There are also... personal reasons why I'm unwilling to meld with her like that. And I definitely don't trust any other Asari to even make an attempt. Which leaves two courses of action to get you the Cipher. The Asari could admit that they abducted my Protheans and let you get the Cipher the same way that I did. Or, you can go to Feros and get it from the Thorian.'

'The what?' Garrus asked.

'The Thorian. It's a giant... I guess tree probably isn't really accurate. It resembles a plant, but it's sentient and long-lived. It predates the Protheans, but it interacted with them. It has a copy of the Prothean cipher as well as a way to transfer it to you. But it's also probably hostile. The transfer method would survive its demise. It controls peoples minds using pheromones. At least, I think that's how it does it. Never really interacted with it myself.'

'Do I really need the cipher if you have it?' Shepard asked.

'I think you probably do. This won't be the only Prothean artifact you interact with. I'm hoping it's not the only Prothean, to be honest. The Cipher will help a lot with that. Also, it would serve as independent confirmation regarding what I've been telling the council and the matriarchs this entire time. If you get the Cipher from me, or the Protheans then that might make some of them question, but if you get all of this information through totally unrelated means to how I did, that's independent verification.' I replied.

'And Ilos? What's the benefit of even going there if we know what Saren has planned?' Wrex asked.

'Well, there's Vigil, a Prothean VI that's on Ilos. It's probably the most Reaper-focused of the Prothean VIs that are still around-'

'There are still working Prothean VIs!?' Liara immediately interjected.

'Three I know of. Vigil on Ilos, Vendetta on Thessia in the Temple of Athame, and Victory, which was on Eden Prime until it was stolen. I assume by the Salarians, but I guess it could have been the Turians or Asari. The problem with skipping Ilos is that Vigil has a data file that will grant temporary direct control of the Citadel's functions. And that's... probably essential if we want to beat Sovereign.'

'I can't believe that massive advances in Prothean archaeology are just being hidden and hoarded away like that! What is wrong with the matriarchs?' Liara grumbled.

'I can't believe you had almost 30 years of personal evidence of the conspiracy, and you still didn't realize the conspiracy existed until I literally informed you of its presence. I really thought you would pay more attention and ask more questions about it.' I confessed.

'I did! I wrote you long angry emails after every one of those papers! Oh Goddess... I CCed every person on that list complaining about your lack of academic integrity! They must think I'm the stupidest Asari in the galaxy!' Liara finally realized.

I laughed.

This was apparently not the right response.

'Anyway, Liara's mortification aside, we clearly need to go to Ilos, and we also need to go to Feros. Are there any other surprise visits we need to accomplish?' Garrus inquired.

'Did we stop the rogue AI on Luna from nuking the Earth?' I asked.

'What.' Was Ashley's response.

'Yes.' was Shepard's.

'And we stopped Balak from crashing that Asteroid into Terra Nova?'

'No.' was Shepard's response.

'We probably will need to do that at some point then.' I decided.

'Can you perhaps... elaborate on that statement?' Ashley asks with what sounds like barely restrained fury.

'Right, so Batarians are all slaving assholes. And this may sound racist, but I've never met a Batarian I didn't want to punch in the face. And I've met a lot of Batarians. Balak was sent by the Batarian government to pose as a 'terrorist' and get revenge for the Skyllian Blitz.'

'But the Skyllian Blitz was revenge for the attacks by Batarian Slavers on our colonies!' Ashley protested.

'And Torfan was revenge for that too. Lots of cycles of revenge in this galaxy; the Genophage among them. They all suck, but good luck breaking them. Anyway, Balak is a jerk, and he decided that an extinction level event is the appropriate response for the Humans fighting back against Batarian piracy and slaving. He takes over an asteroid and takes hostages.'

'So how do we stop it?' Shepard asked.

'Why are you asking me? You're the Alliance super soldier, aren't you? I assume you'll stop it how you normally do; some weird mix of shooting people, talking to people, and maybe occasionally pressing a button.'

'You do tend to hog all the button pressing to yourself.' Garrus agreed with me.

'This isn't about my button pressing! Anyway, do we even know when that attack is going to happen?' Shepard protested.

'Nope. Sometime this year. I have the entire year blocked out for 'Shenanigans with the Normandy Crew.' That's literally how I have it written in my calendar. Have for over a century.'

'That definitely raises deep fundamental philosophical questions, doesn't it?' Liara asked. I think she was in shock.

'It's probably easier if you don't think about them. I don't know how many Salarians have gone insane trying to figure out what's going on with my calendar but the number is definitely not zero.' I admit.

'Right, so... Feros, Ilos, Terra Nova, anything else?' Wrex asked, getting us all back on track.

'Nothing I actually remember. I think the Normandy gets impounded and we need to steal it back? I'm not sure if that'll actually happen. It was premised on the Council not believing that the Reapers were an actual danger. I'm hoping we're past that now.'

'You really are a fountain of good news, aren't you?' Shepard asked. I assume it was rhetorical; of course that's why I decided to answer the question anyway.

'Just wait till 2185. You're going to have a very wild ride. Make sure to pick me up for that. I'll leave a forwarding address with Liara.'

'You're not going to tell me what to expect?' Shepard asked.

'I'm not an oracle. I don't want to distract you with something that's not really relevant to what we're doing right now. We have enough to focus on.' I lied.

'Right, then let's weigh in on this. Saren plans to use the conduit as a back door into the citadel so that he can call the Reapers back from wherever the hell they are to kill us all. Am I right so far?' Shepard asked.

I nodded. 'That's the broad plan, yeah. I'm sure there are specifics I don't know.'

'To stop him I need code from Ilos. To interact with the Prothean VI on Ilos I probably need the Cipher.'

"Or someone with the cipher. You could bring me, and I'd probably understand it. But having independent verification of my research would be better. Someone's been yelling at the Matriarchs and the Council that I'm... what was the phrase you used Liara, 'morally bankrupt and a stain on academic society'?'

'Right but when I said that, I didn't realize that--' Liara protested.

"Let's just keep our focus on the plan right now? You can troll Liara later.' Shepard interrupted.

'Troll? What does that mean?' Liara asked.

'Later.' Shepard commanded.

Liara nodded, and I gave Shepard an expression that I know from experience that other Krogans interpret as a wry grin, but Humans assume is a serious face.

Judging from Wrex's reaction, I think he's had the same experience with the expression.

'Right. So we need more verification. is there any way we can do Feros later? Is there something keeping us from putting it off until after we deal with Saren?' Shepard asked.

I titled my head, considering the issue.

'There are Geth attacking the colony, and Exogeni is hiding some big secrets. But I suppose that even if the Thorian is killed it's just inconvenient and not something that spells disaster. Just means you either need access to those Protheans, or we need to find a trustworthy Asari that isn't Liara. Matriarch Aethyta's out of the question for the same reason as Liara. But Aria T'Loak might work.'

'Aria T'Loak. The queen of Omega?' Garrus asks incredulously.

'Trustworthy here means not connected to the vast Asari conspiracy to conceal the fact that they have a Prothean Beacon and have been using it to maintain Asari superiority for millennia. It doesn't mean someone of good moral character, it means someone unlikely to betray us.'

'You literally don't know of any other Asari who aren't likely to betray us besides Liara, a random matriarch you won't meld with, and Aria?' Tali asks incredulously.

'Oh, is the Quarian going to stand up for the Asari? The same Asari that stripped you of your status as a Citadel race after the Morning War instead of helping you out? The Asari run an E-Democracy. We need an Asari willing to not fuck with my mind to help the Asari maintain control over the galaxy. I'm sorry if there are very few Asari I'm willing to trust with that. It's just those three and Pelessaria B'Sayle.'

'Pelessaria B'Sayle?' Liara asks.

'Peebee, she's half Elcor.'

'Well, that tells us absolutely nothing.' Garrus griped.

'What I'm hearing is that we can probably skip Feros, but we can't skip Ilos. And that if we do skip Feros I need to take you down onto Ilos with me.' Shepard observed.

'Yeah that sounds about right. Might wanna take the whole crew actually. Don't wanna be stranded at the citadel.' I agreed.

'How likely is it that the Council will impound the Normandy?' Tali asked, trying to get a handle on our odds.

'Well, in any situation where the Council has to choose between making a correct decision on the Reapers versus making a stupid decision... I'd say we have 100% chance of being impounded? But I could be biased by the fact that the Council keeps making extremely stupid decisions.'

I pause.

'Actually, you should probably alert Hackett that you'll probably need the Alliance fleet to protect the council when they flee the citadel. They're idiots, but they're more helpful than their replacements would be. Gets Humanity a seat on the council too.'

'A seat on the council! We fought their fucking war for over two hundred years and we didn't get a seat on the council!' Wrex roars.

'You didn't even fight in that war, Wrex. I did. Get over it.'

'How long did it take you to get over it?' Tali asks unhelpfully.

'The better part of half a millennium.' I reply.

I pause again. Looking over at Shepard.

'Anyway, message Hackett, tell him about the threat. Don't tell him about what's at stake for Humanity. We've got Salarians on board. They'll know. Maybe alert him about Balak too? I don't know the Asteroid, but I do know a woman named Kate Bowman works on it.'

'Yeah, that way the Alliance can save Terra Nova and we can focus on Ilos.' Shepard decides.

'Then we have a plan?' Ashley asks, hopeful.

'We do.' Shepard agrees.

I book it to the door. 'Well, as fun as that was, I need to take a nap. It's been a very stressful day.'

'Tired? You didn't even fight on Virmire! you could at least answer my questions about the actual live Protheans you met!' Liara reacts angrily.

'It was fifteen live Protheans! And I'm sorry, but I can't hear you. I'm asleep. Krogan can do that. Sleep standing up, I mean. It's all the extra brain capacity we have from being Krogan. But since we're asleep we can't answer questions.' I lie.

'See you tomorrow!' I smile, before opening the door and letting myself out.

Never liked meetings anyway.

2183 CE

In the end, Shepard alerted Hackett to the issue on Terra Nova, and the threat to the council, and asked if Hackett could locate Pelessaria B'Sayle a.k.a. PeeBee for her.

I 'slept' the entire trip to Ilos. Well, mainly only when Liara asked me questions about the Protheans. Since we were headed straight to Ilos from Virmire, the Salarians stayed with us; and I didn't want to give the damn lizards anything more than necessary.

I warned Shepard that we're going to need to be in an enclosed structure when we travel through the conduit. We can't just go on foot. She seemed grateful for the heads up, but otherwise in a bad mood. I'm not sure why. I've been in a great mood ever since our talk. Nothing but smiles and jokes!

Well, whatever Shepard's feeling it probably isn't enough to put her off her work.

I did catch her kissing Liara in one of the more secluded corners of the ship though. I should probably have a talk with Shepard about the importance of faithfulness in a relationship.

Don't want her deciding to date Jacob when she comes back to life. She'd get to learn that lesson the hard way.

Anyway, the plan, as far as it goes, is to get to Ilos, get the data, preserve Vigil, and if possible follow Saren through the conduit and get out. Shepard came to ask me if I knew how to kill Sovereign a day or two later.

'A fleet. It's gonna take an entire fleet.' I replied.

'He's got some sort of link with Saren, I'll tell you when we see it. If we fight him on foot, we can take Sovereign's shields down. after that it'll be up to the fleet.'

Shepard was less than happy about that.

'What weapon do we need to make to kill these things?'

'If I knew that, I would have made it back during the Rachni Wars when I still designed weapons.'

You know, just heartening uplifting conversations.

I still don't know if Wrex or Shepard picked up the Genophage cure. That shouldn't be bothering me as much as it is, but I'd expected that these damned Salarians would be off the Normandy by now. Normally I'd retreat into my Kodiak, but I can't do that anymore, can I?

Fuck. I really had hoped I'd be able to save Kaidan. If I lost my shuttle doing that it would have been worth it, but losing my shuttle and Kaidan still dying anyway just... hurts.

The worst part is that I still feel like I'm lying to the crew. They all think I know something I'm not telling them, but I don't think they realize the implications of what I know.

Would Liara thank me or punch me if she realized that I'd known Benezia was going to die on that mission? Maybe she already realizes it and feels like asking will just... make it real?

Fuck. I hate everything about this.

Author's Notes: And just as promised, that's everything before Ilos wrapped up in a bow. I'm at 72.7k now, and I just finished up writing the third to last Loyalty mission.

One of the fun things going through the Mass Effect series for the first time as it was released was making choices based on your own gut feelings and thoughts on the situation and then finding out what the results would be of a given Paragon or Renegade choice in the next game when it came out. So, how do you preserve that feeling with a character who knows the plot ahead of time? Have him make all new moral choices, the results of which he has no way of knowing ahead of time. Flip the board. Change the status quo up enough that his knowledge actually presents a problem just as much as it does a solution. I'm going to try and do a little bit of all of them. We'll see how it works out.