CHAPTER 5: I Will Survive
2183 CE
We actually beat Saren to Ilos, oddly enough.
We didn't beat the Geth though. Had to murder at least a hundred Geth on our way to Vigil. Liara put me on blast about shooting up important archaeological finds, and I had to remind her that I was being shot at. Besides, it's not like her biotic mass effect fields don't do any damage to the site. You can't throw a Geth into a mural and then complain that shooting at the mural is worse. Even if it is, that's a matter of degree rather than kind!
'This is the most important Prothean site in History!'
'It's barely even Prothean. Most of this site is Inusannon.' I explained.
'That just makes it worse! you can see how that makes it worse, can't you!?' Liara shouted back.
Like I said, Liara was being absolutely unreasonable. I'm expecting the next words out of her mouth to be 'That belongs in a Museum!'
Actually, I should send her those movies before Shepard bites it They start getting really good again after the sixth one, when they cast Nicholas Cage as Indy's grandfather. She'll probably appreciate them far less once she decides that she's a stern serious information broker.
Anyway. I forgot how damaged Vigil was, and the fact that it could sense Indoctrination. If a machine can tell if someone is Indoctrinated, then that means that Indoctrination is measurable by machine sensors. I think I'm probably going to need to run some highly unethical tests next year. A space ship packed with sensors to monitor the crew would probably work. Program it to strand itself and then add in some Reaper tech? I'd be able to monitor the brains of the crew as they slowly became indoctrinated, and then I could blow the ship to hell at the end of the experiment.
I can probably make it a little less unethical if I make sure to run the experiment on people who were already asking for it?
Maybe I can trick pirates into boarding on the assumption that it's full of vulnerable passengers that would be excellent slaves?
No wait, there's no way to get away with it. I'm still being monitored by pretty much every government in the universe. One of those jerks is sure to interfere with the experiment. They'll unleash the indoctrinated assholes, and ruin the data in the process.
I'll have to mention the idea to Miranda Lawson, or Mordin Solus. They could probably get the work done in a way that'll let me steal the data. And I trust them enough to believe that they won't get themselves indoctrinated out of sheer stupidity.
Actually...
'Vigil, do you have any data on how to detect indoctrination?'
'I do. There is a data file on my console. I will highlight it for you.'
'Any data you have on devices that can kill a Reaper too, while you're at it.' Shepard added.
'I regret that I have no such data. The staff at the Ilos facility never encountered a Reaper, nor did we encounter anyone who had fought them.'
'Worth a try, Kid.' I smiled.
'So what now? We have the information that we need, and the Conduit is uncontested.' Liara spoke up.
'Yeah, but we need Saren to go through the Conduit so that he and Sovereign are in the crosshairs of our fleet. We can't fight Sovereign anywhere else because the fleet won't go anywhere else.' I replied.
'So what, we lay in wait and continue to fight the Geth until Saren arrives?'
'Either that or head back to the Citadel and deal with the Council. If we're lucky they might surround the relay monument with some of C-Sec.' I replied.
'Big help that'll be.' Shepard rolled her eyes.
'Then I guess we will stay here, and hunt Geth.' Liara spoke up.
'Sounds like my idea of a good time.' I grinned.
2183 CE
It actually took almost a week before Saren showed up. An entire week of Liara questioning Vigil about the Protheans and doing taking notes on Inusannon architecture and culture. She's pretty sure that the Inusannon were a peaceful race of philosophers. I'm not so certain.
Just as planned, Saren managed to make it to the Conduit. We followed in the Mako shortly after him. We caught up with him in the Praesidium, which meant a running gun battle to the Council chambers. Sovereign managed to pull off the initial attack, but looking up at the sky, it looks like Joker managed to grab the 5th fleet and bring it in for back up before Sovereign could lock the mass relays. I hope that's a good thing.
We ran after him and thanks to being only seconds behind him we didn't even have to climb the outside of the Citadel Spire! We got to have an elevator gun battle instead! Those are always really fun, though never very decisive. I know there's another one in store in the future when we have to rescue the Council from Udina's assassination plot. I had been planning to avoid derailing that because what sort of deranged maniac gives up a chance to fight an elevator gun battle? Now I think I'll probably just send Sparatus, Valern, and Telos an email giving them a head's up beforehand. Maybe Ashley too? She'd probably be pissed at me if I didn't warn her that she was going to be secretly taken advantage of by a traitor for the benefit of Cerberus. She kind of makes a big deal out of Cerberus, doesn't she?
Yeah, it would be a total dick move not to tell her. I'll send her an email a couple days before.
The gun battle though was great! Everything you want in an elevator battle! And it's even better than the one to save the Council because this one has glass walls and gorgeous views so you can enjoy the scenery at the same time as you shoot Geth, and there's even a nice undertone of breaking glass to add a bit of spice to it! Wrex is going to be so jealous when he hears about this. I wish I could show him!
That's an idea. Maybe get an in-suit vid recorder to record all the really fun battles and hold them over Wrex? I'd get to gloat, and he'd get to witness me gloating. Everyone wins! You know, statistically. I win twice, and there are two Krogans, so on average, that's one win per Krogan, right?
I grin as I knock a Geth juggernaut off the Elevator next to us and into the open air, enjoying the sight of it fall-
'They have jetpacks!? Why did no one tell me that the juggernauts have jetpacks!? Why do they never use them?' I ask incredulously as I watch the juggernaut that I was certain I had killed in a really fun way slowly coast to the ground using its jetpack.
I look around at my companions and Shepard just shrugs.
'I'm an expert on the Protheans, not the Geth.' Liara reminds me.
'You're barely an expert on either.' I scoff.
I take a second to shoot a Geth rocket trooper.
'But you're definitely more of an expert than anyone else in the Galaxy other than me, and I guess the Protheans your government kidnapped, and maybe whoever is researching them, and Shepard, obviously.' I reassured her.
'Was your intent to be reassuring? Protheans can't be experts on Prothean culture anyway.' Liara asked skeptically.
I shook my head at Liara's instinctive cultural bias. 'You really should examine those cultural biases, Liara. I expected better from someone who's a quarter Krogan. Anyway, if we completely and baselessly exclude the fifteen actual real life Protheans that I unearthed, you're definitely in the top ten Prothean experts, though! You know, probably.'
'Wait. What do you mean a quarter Krogan? My mother wasn't part Krogan! And anyway, Asari reproduction doesn't work that way!' Liara protested.
'I know your dad. She's half-Krogan.' I admitted.
'Who is she? Can you introduce me?' Liara asked, hopefully.
'We're... not exactly on speaking terms.' I admitted shooting a Geth hopper out of the air as it tried to leap onto our elevator.
'Also, I'm pretty sure she thinks I'm dead.' I continue.
'Why would she think that?' Liara asked, confused.
'I faked my death.'
'When? I read your biography, you've never had another name. Isn't that a big part of faking your death?' Liara asked.
'Huh. I knew I forgot something... But, in my defense, I was very, very drunk.'
'If she doesn't believe you're dead, maybe you can introduce me to her after all?' Liara asks hopefully.
'In that case... Definitely not. I'm pretty sure knowing I'm alive would only make her angrier. Also, it would be really awkward too.'
Both of our elevators reached the top just as Sovereign touched down on the tower, throwing us all to the ground.
Well, not Saren. He scrambled up onto the console and input a code. Literally just three buttons.
Suddenly all the noise of the Citadel just... shut off.
Shepard and Saren talked at each other and I sort of ignored the conversation to study him.
'--Krogan.'
'What?' I asked.
'Were you not paying attention?' Liara asked, incredulously.
'Yeah. Sorry, I zoned out a bit.'
'Sovereign is minutes away from calling the Reapers back and killing all organic life in our Universe and you're distracted?" She asked incredulously.
'Just the Milky Way galaxy, I think.' I replied.
'Krell, we are in the Milky Way galaxy.' Liara emphasized.
Our argument was interrupted by a gunshot. I immediately grabbed Liara and ducked behind the nearest waist-high barricade, only for that to be completely unnecessary. The shot came from Saren, but it was also aimed at Saren as well.
'Shepard, did you talk Saren to death?' I asked, shocked. I didn't think Shepard was enough of a Renegade to do that, not missing Feros. She definitely shouldn't have been Paragon enough. I wonder what happened?
The rest of the day proceeded mostly according to plan. Shepard locked Sovereign out of the Citadel. Liara and I headed down and make sure Saren was really dead. He was. I shot him in the head a second time to make sure.
And then he got up again and Sovereign puppeted his body like a robot made of meat to fight us.
We shot him a little, then we shot him a lot, and then the Saren-thing died and Sovereign's shields dropped and the Reaper was shot to bits. A good outcome all around!
Of course, now there's Reaper bits all over the Citadel; unshielded Reaper bits.
Fuck.
I guess I have another paper to write on Reaper Indoctrination through Reaper wreckage.
I should probably forward the data from Vigil about detecting Indoctrination as well for that one.
Damn it. I'm not going to get any sleep tonight, am I?
2183 CE
No sooner than Shepard had nominated Captain Anderson for the position on the Council than we were on the Normandy again and headed back to Feros.
Sovereign apparently took its Geth from the planet once it made its run on the Citadel, so there actually wasn't all that much left to do other than rescue the staff in Exogeni headquarters, retrieve the Exogeni data, blackmail that one Exogeni suit into supporting the colony, and then head over to the Colony and take out the colonists with stun weapons before fighting our way to the Thorian.
Shepard killed it, and got the Cipher from Shiala.
Oddly enough she wasn't willing to let me fight the colonists. Something about 'unacceptable amounts of collateral damage.' Which is a totally unfair charge, by the way. Sure I've blown up at least one space station that I can remember, but that's nothing Humans haven't done too and they don't get a reputation as adrenaline junkie warmongers who love explosions!
They really should, though. They're not the most Krogan-like race in the galaxy for nothing. Even Wrex agrees with me.
We headed back to the Citadel for an awards ceremony. I gave Wrex a copy of my paper on the dangers of Reaper Indoctrination and the code from Vigil for identifying Indoctrinated agents. He worked for the Shadow Broker, but he was also going to try and restore Clan Urdnot. Either way the wider the distribution of this particular information the better. Tali also got a copy to send back to the Migrant Fleet as part of her Pilgrimage. Anderson too. I added both him and Shepard to my email list. I even forwarded them an archive of all my past unsourced papers. Hopefully they would be of use.
That night, I cornered Shepard outside the Normandy.
'You're dating Liara?' I asked as nonchalantly as a Krogan in full battle armor holding an assault rifle in a vaguely menacing fashion can manage.
'I am.' Shepard replied with a challenging expression in her eyes.
'Liara means a lot to me. I think of her as my own grandchild. If you break up, you break up. But don't cheat on her, understand?' I subtly threaten her.
Shepard takes a look at the barrel of the weapon which I have thrust in her mouth. It's not an actual NK-47, I lost most of those with my shuttle. It's a toy mock up made of plastic. Still, despite the small bit of deception, I was at that time very hopeful that it would make my point without being excessively unsafe.
At which point some jerk with biotics threw me off the catwalk and onto the Normandy, leaving my fake assault rifle hanging inside Shepard's mouth.
'Damn Pyjak! Do you know how dangerous that was--!"
I blink.
'Kaidan?' Shepard asks.
'Are you okay Commander? I saw Krell about to execute you and I panicked!' The formerly dead man claimed.
'About to execute-- You damned Pyjak! Do you know how fucking dangerous what you did was? I pulled the trigger when you threw me!' I shouted.
'You were trying to kill her!' Kaidan yelled back.
'If I were trying to kill her I'd have used a real gun!'
'It's plastic.' Shepard realized, looking at the prop.
'Of course it's plastic. A move like that would be way too dangerous if I'd used a real gun!'
'What... What is going on?' Kaidan asked, now thoroughly confused.
'Nothing to worry about. Just a little light threatening.' I grumbled.
'He was telling me to treat Liara right.' Shepard explained.
'You and... Liara? But I thought we-'
'Back off, Pyjak. I didn't save your life so you can get Shepard to try and two-time Liara. And gimme back my damn shuttle, you obviously used it to get out of the blast radius.'
'Ah right. Your shuttle.' Kaidan blushed.
'Kaidan. Where's my Shuttle?' I asked with rising curiosity and anger.
'Virmire?' Kaidan replied.
'Why are you asking that like a question instead of saying it like a statement, Kaidan?' I threatened.
'Because I think the rest of your shuttle is in space.'
'In sp- In Space! Alenko! Did you blow up my shuttle!?'
'The bomb blew up your shuttle! I got clear of the blast but the secondary emissions knocked out navigation.' Kaidan defended.
'WHO SET THE FUCKING BOMB, YOU JACKASS!' I roared.
'I SET THE- Right... I guess I did blow up your shuttle. A little bit anyway.' Kaidan finally admitted.
'How little.'
'Half?'
'Half!?'
'No more than three quarters!'
'That's worse though! You can tell that that's worse, can't you!?' I raged.
'I'll get you a new shuttle!'
'You'd better fucking get me a new shuttle! You trashed my last one! All my stuff was in it!'
'Didn't I watch you transfer all your personal effects to your locker before Virmire?' Shepard added, unhelpfully.
'That's not the point!' I yelled at her.
'Damn it. You've sucked all the fun out of this, Alenko. See you around, Shepard. Ring me up in 2185. I'll see you on the SR-2 then.' I decided, leaving in a manner which in no way, shape, or form could be described as a huff.
It couldn't be a huff. After all, I was singing.
Well, grumbling, anyway. That was close enough to singing. After all, I was a musician once too. If I said it was singing, it was singing.
'And now you're back, from outer space. I just walked in to find you here with that sad look upon your face. … I should have changed that stupid lock. I should have made you leave your key. If I had known for just one second you'd be back to bother me...'
Stupid Humans. They really are just like Krogan. You think they're dead and then there they are, just as alive as when you last saw them.
And Joker thought I wasn't an expert on Humans!
Author's Note: So this is the last chapter until I finish writing up Mass Effect 2. I'm at the derelict Reaper mission and 78k words. I don't actually know how much is left in that. I need to go through it and add some foreshadowing for some stuff I want to reveal in ME3 that's happening behind the scenes. People missed some foreshadowing I've already put in, so I want to give you guys another chance to catch it. Anyway, I have a whole warmup chapter for the interregnum between ME1 and ME2. You guys'll get that once I've finished 2 and start on my final revisions. Might be a few days.
And don't worry about the various speed running skips that Krell has done that were already foreshadowed. There will be plenty of all new content to make up for them in ME3. Well, at least one new scene of content. Already have it written. Probably will add more.
