CHAPTER 14: Veteran of the Psychic Wars
2185 CE
Shepard decided not to take me on either recruiting mission to get Samara or to find Thane. Something about not trusting my sense of humor; or maybe it was my storied adherence to nonsensical codes and regulations; although, it could also have been my stories about how I've treated the assassins who went after me over the years. Anyway, for whatever reason Shepard decided that she wasn't about to risk my interference with their recruitment. Which honestly is just patently unfair. After all, I could have brought a lot of assistance to Thane's recruitment.
To understand the Drell you really have to understand the Hanar.
The Galaxy at large think of the Hanar as missionaries because that's what they generally see; Hanar preaching the glory of the Enkindlers. If you visit Kahje, however, the portrait you see is more lawyers, scholars, poets, and engineers. The Hanar party animals don't leave Kahje. Why would they? You can't exactly find mindfish or Drell poison in any sort of quantity off the Hanar homeworld. Hanar are aquatic, they need technological assistance to leave Kahje; so it's really only people with either a compelling reason to leave, or those who think they have one, who go through the trouble to head off-world.
That means diplomats and missionaries, both categories extensively trained for their politeness.
The Hanar worship the Enkindlers; the Protheans, but what does that actually mean? The major Hanar religious holiday, their equivalent to my birthday, or the day or repentance, or any number of other major holidays, is called Nyahir or "First Cresting Bloom." It celebrates Protheans granting the Hanar the gift of speech. They celebrate it with poetry slams, flytings, and rap battles; or at least that's the closest Human equivalent, anyway.
They believe that the Protheans enkindled them with sentience and granted them the capability of speech. It might even be true; I haven't ever bothered to check. The Protheans became their moral center, but it's not the Protheans as we might know them, but rather the Protheans Liara imagined. The Protheans are held up as an example of selflessness, courtesy, and willingness to share their gifts with others. They're used as an example that teaches the Hanar how to live. In a sense their one rule is the Human golden rule; do unto others as you would like them to do unto you. That example is what led the Hanar to rescue the Drell.
That sense of 'treat others as you would like to be treated' is one of the reasons they always protest the excavation of Prothean relics and sites. They view it as disturbing those who rest within.
You can understand then how I ended up the most hated Krogan in Hanar space. After all, not only am I a Prothean researcher who regularly disturbs Prothean graves, but also, the papers that I write about the Protheans tend to state that they were a war-like imperial species.
2185 CE
When Thane returned to the ship alone, Shepard having head off on Samara's recruiting lesson, I was heading up the hallway to the airlock near the cockpit.
'Hello Thane, are you here to try and kill me a second time?' I asked, smiling at him.
'Not this time, I fear.' Thane greeted me just as cordially. Why should he not? He held no personal ill-will towards me. What was that saying he was so fond of ? An assassin is a weapon used to kill, he does not determine who should die? Something along those lines.
'You know this guy, Krell?' Joker asked, confused.
'Oh, I've known Thane since he was a lad of... what was it; thirteen, fourteen?' I checked with Thane to be sure.
'I had just turned thirteen two days prior.' Thane confirmed.
'Right, so we're old friends!' It was... I want to say two years after the First Contact war? Does that sound right, Thane?' I checked.
'That fits my recollection.' Thane nodded, hands folded behind his back as he stood at attention.
'Right, so it was two years after the First Contact War and I was studying Protheans at the Mars Archives. Human space was still pretty much cut off from non-humans. There were still a few Asari diplomats here and there, so Turian specialists, stuff like that, but Aliens were rare. Most Humans would go their entire lives without seeing one at the rate Aliens were present in the Sol system back then. You needed special documents, special permission. I'd just gotten my Alliance citizenship that year; I think I might have been the first alien allowed to do so?' I muse.
EDI's light blinked on. 'That is correct. The first non-human citizen of the Alliance on record is listed as Nackmor Krell.'
'Right, so it was really hard to get into Alliance space, aliens stood out immensely. There were basically no non-human children around, and also, I was on Mars in an incredibly secure research base.' I explain.
Thane of course already knows this story, and Joker still looks interested, so I keep going.
'So there I am, at the Mars Archives, minding my own business when I walk over an air vent and it pops open and stabs me!'
'Ventilation ducts cannot stab people, Professor Krell.' EDI immediately counters.
'Well, I know that, and you know that, but apparently no one told Thane that. He was hiding in the duct system, for a full day and a half, just waiting for me to pass by so that he could strike. He had this cute little poisoned dagger on him too. Rachni venom. I think some Hanar or another thought that it would be poetic, maybe? But I have a fair amount of tolerance to the stuff, and after so long I think the Venom had just gone bad. So really it was almost like Thane had stabbed me in the shin with an unpoisoned dagger.' I reveal.
'You laughed, reaching your hand down to pull me out, a smile upon your face. 'Hello, who are you, kid?' you asked. 'Thane Krios. All-Bright Olos the 10th sends his regards.' I responded. I tried to stab you again but you pulled me out of the vent by my wrist and squeezed, making me drop my knife. 'You aren't supposed to be here.' You remarked. I was silent.' Thane flashed back.
'I had to pack you up in an exotic pet shipping crate to get you out of Human space without causing a diplomatic incident! Oh man, that was a fun assassination attempt. Much better than the Asari. Their attempts lack class. Yeah, I'd say you were as fun as that one Elcor who that Batarian had brainwashed into believing I had killed his mother. Fun times, fun times.' I shared.
'It was less fun from inside the shipping crate.' Thane observed.
'If you wanted to choose how you got to go home you should have figured out an exit strategy before you left.' I chided.
'A lesson I never forgot. I tried to kill you and you did me a service. I am... grateful to find you here on this ship.' Thane eventually admitted.
At this point Joker had had enough. 'Wait. Wait a second. You tried to kill Krell, and failed.'
"Yes." Thane admitted.
'And you didn't kill him for it like all the other assassins?' Joker asked.
'Well, it's not like he was strong enough to actually hurt me, Joker. He was a kid.' I explained.
'At that point in time I already had performed five successful assassinations.' Thane argued.
'See? Like I said, he was a kid. You can't hold that kind of thing against him.' I reiterated.
'I definitely could have.' Joker muttered.
'Look, if you kill every child assassin sent to kill you Joker, you're going to end up killing thousands of kids. It's just not tenable. You'll dull your reflexes.' I lecture.
'Wait, is that a prediction or are you talking about your life, because the way you phrased that it could be either and that's a big difference.' Joker protested.
'Don't worry about it.' I brushed him off.
'I feel like that's something worth worrying about, Krell.' Joker insisted.
'I was talking from personal experience. You don't have to worry about armies of children assassins trying to kill you any time in the next two years.'
'That's an oddly specific timeframe, Krell.' Joker noted.
'It's all I can give you.' I admitted.
Joker seemed at a loss for words, so I turned back to Thane.
'So no more assassinations?' I asked.
'I am... retired.' Thane eventually admitted.
'Huh. Retirement. I always meant to look into that someday.' I admitted.
'It has been good for me. I have been staying active. Doing good works, as the Humans say.' Thane replied.
'I think you may be translating it wrong, do you mean you've been doing work pro bono?' I asked.
'Is that not the same thing? It means, for the good, does it not?' Thane asked.
'There's a subtle shade of difference. I'll catch up with you later. I put a dehumidifier in the area near the life support plant on the crew deck. You might want to use it.' I nodded as I headed out.
'Thank you. You are most kind.' Thane nodded, making his way to the plant.
'So... an assassin?' Joker asked.
'Cute kid. He's around your age, given a decade or two. You'd probably get along.' I admitted.
'Yeah no thanks, I'm too fragile to enjoy a nice friendly stabbing like you, old man.' Joker replied.
'Up to you. I'm going to grab some takeout, you want anything?' I asked, heading for the airlock.
'You think they have a decent sandwich on Illium?' Joker asked.
'In Asari space? None that you'd approve of, I think.'
'What about Varren Jerky? I had some on Tuchanka and I actually really liked it.' Joker admitted.
'That I can probably do.' I agreed, heading out the door.
'Hey EDI, is there a weapon that can help you deal with armies of child assassins? Something with no recoil, I'd like to not break my bones using it.' Joker asked as I stepped into the Airlock.
The last thing I heard before the Airlock hissed closed was EDI's voice. 'Cross referencing low-recoil weapons that you are proficient in with weapons capable of taking out armies of children I have arrived upon a conclusion. You should use a Starship.'
The door hissed closed. It was good to see EDI looking out for Joker. Hope he doesn't manage to talk her out of that.
2185 CE
Shepard cornered me on the ship about the document I gave Liara as soon as she got back, and I had to take her down to Jack's hidey-hole under engineering to explain what happened. It was the only place on the chip where I was reasonably sure no one would be able to bug us.
Of course, that meant Jack was there too.
'Hey, Jack. Can you let me talk to Shepard in here? It's important, and I don't wanna be 'overheard.' Pretty sure that between the engine and you searching for bugs and guarding this place against Cerberus staff, this is the only part of the ship where that's a safe enough bet.'
'What's in it for me?' Jack asked.
'What do you want? Information on your family?' I replied.
'What? No. Wait, what? Cerberus killed my family.' Jack replied.
'Eh, not so much. Didn't have to. Your parents took you into a medical facility for a check-up on Eden Prime. You were still an infant. The doctor lied and told your parents you were dead, then asked to keep your body to do some tests to prevent what killed you from killing other biotic kids. They agreed.'
'What the FUCK!' Jack yelled, her biotic aura flaring.
'Must have happened around 2165, if you're interested. You were still an infant. As far as I know your parents are still alive.' I admitted.
'I... What--! This... You can't just drop shit like that on someone!' Jack yelled, punching me.
'Is that enough to use your space? Or do you want more?' I asked.
'How the fuck do you even know that?' Jack asked.
'Ties into what I'm gonna talk to Shepard about.' I admitted.
'Then no. I want more. I'm sitting in on this talk.' Jack decided.
I looked at Shepard.
'Fine by me.' She says, unhelpfully.
'Then sure.' I agreed, sitting down.
Once we were all seated, Shepard broke the ice. 'That thing you gave to Liara, that paper. What was it?'
'Information, hidden in code in ancient Prothean. It's not a dialect all that many people are familiar with. It's late era Prothean; the same dialect used in the beacons.' I admitted.
'What did you tell her?' Shepard asked.
'Where the Shadow Broker was. Who the agent he'd assign to hunt her would be. What his species is. Should be enough for her to fill in the rest.' I confessed.
'You know where the fucking Shadow Broker is? Who he is? You expect me to buy that?' Jack asked incredulously.
'I don't expect you to buy anything, Jack. I expect you to look into the information I gave you and verify it for yourself. You'll find I know a lot of things I have no business knowing.'
'He really isn't kidding.' Shepard agreed.
'I know a lot about you Jack. I know about Eden prime. I know about Pragia. I know about your conviction in Hanar courts for Vandalism--'
'That one doesn't count! That made the news!' Jack protested.
I nodded in acknowledgment.
'I also know that in a year, you're going to be teaching kids at Grissom Academy. Cerberus is going to attack the facility and try to kidnap the kids there for their cause.' I admitted.
'FUCKING CERBERUS!? AGAIN? WHAT THE FUCK.' Jack ranted, flaring her aura.
'Jack, calm down. We're right next to the drive core, if you hit it we're all going to die.' Shepard explained reasonably.
'I should fucking blow the whole Cerberus ship!' Jack ranted, visibly more under control than a few seconds ago.
'You don't want to do that, Jack.' I replied.
'Why the fuck not?'
'Because next year this ship will by flying Alliance colors, the entire crew will leave Cerberus, and one of the people currently on board will kill the Illusive man.'
'That's a good fucking set of reasons.' Jack grumbled.
'Also, The Normandy SR2 is essential to stopping a galaxy-wide extinction event next year, and also, and I really shouldn't have to point this out, you're currently still on it.' I add.
Honestly, it's like no one listens to me when I tell them not to blow up space stations and spaceships while they're still on board!
'Those are less fucking good reasons. But I hear you. I'm calming down. How the fuck do you know all this shit anyway?'
'Fucked if I know.' I admit.
Jack laughs and turns to Shepard. 'And this is legit? He actually knows this shit?'
'If Krell says he knows it, he probably knows it. He's got a fucked up sense of humor, but he hasn't been wrong about the future yet.' Shepard begrudgingly admitted.
'Fucking perfect.' Jack replied.
'So this debt Liara was talking about, it's to the Shadow Broker?' Shepard asked, now that her ship wasn't in imminent danger of being Jack-sploded.
'Only in the most technical of terms. This isn't a monetary debt, it's a blood debt. Liara is hunting the Shadow Broker, and she plans to make him pay.' I explain.
'Who the fuck's Liara?' Jack interrupted.
'Shepard's girlfriend. My Granddaughter.' I replied.
Jack's eyes went wide. 'I've seen a lot of things around the galaxy, but I've never fucked a lesbian Krogan before. You're a total freak. How does that work?' She asked, enthralled by her entertainingly wrong opinion of Shepard's love life.
'Liara's an Asari, not a Krogan.' Shepard corrected.
'You fucked an Asari?' Jack's eyes diverted to me.
'Don't recommend it. Didn't end well. Blew up a space-station trying to deal with her. Had the good sense not to be on board with her though.'
'You succeed?' Jack asked.
'Yeah.' I nodded.
'Fuck yeah! Space station buddies!' Jack raised her hand for a high five and I met it.
'I have no idea what's going on here, but somehow I know it's wrong.' Shepard spoke up.
'Come on Shepard, live a little! Besides, all our crimes are gonna look like small potatoes next to yours soon enough.' I cheered.
'You mentioned that. You said I'd be in jail. Why?'
'Your own damn fault.' I replied.
'I was looking for for specifics.' Shepard admitted.
'Well, mostly it's because once you're done with the Collectors you bring the ship into the Alliance docks and surrender to them. They then put you on ice for six months for your crimes.' I explain.
"I was looking for the specifics of the crimes, not how I got caught.' Shepard explained, exasperated.
'I have to admit, I wasn't expecting you to just turn yourself in like that.' Jack agreed.
'Wait, you're turning us all in, aren't you?' Jack realized.
'You'll be fine, Jack. Like I said, you have a cushy post at Grissom Academy waiting for you. You'll even get to fight Cerberus again!' I reassured her.
'That's great and all, but... my crimes?' Shepard asked.
'Okay, this is one of those things that's going to sound a lot worse than it is.' I prefaced.
'Well, now I'm worried.' Shepard replied.
'So, due to some unavoidable circumstances you crash an asteroid into the Relay that the Reapers are going to use to instantly take command of the entire galaxy. The problem is, there's a Batarian colony in the system and crashing an asteroid into a relay destroys everything in that system. You end up holding the galaxy-wide record for the most concurrent counts of murder.' I finally admit.
'I... what?'
'Holy shit!' Jack fangirled.
'Can we stop it from happening?' Shepard asked.
'I don't think so? The colony is Batarian. They're not going to evacuate just because a Human tells them to, and if they know ahead of time they're going to stop you from taking out the Alpha Relay. And if you don't take it out? The Reapers win as soon as they invade.'
'Fuck.' Shepard exhaled.
'Yeah.' I reply.
'An entire star system! When you go big, you really go big, don't you Shepard?' Jack marvels.
'She's taken. And if you try, her girlfriend will know; and she was threatening to flay a man alive with her mind last time we saw her a few hours ago.' I warned Jack.
'Jeez, I'm just looking. Nothing wrong with admiring the view, right?' Jack grumbled.
'Just as long as you keep it to that.' I agreed.
'Is there anything we can do currently?' Shepard asked.
'I don't think so? Admiral Hackett's gonna call you in to rescue a friend of his, Amanda Kendon, I think her name is. She's indoctrinated, along with her entire research team. They were investigating unshielded Reaper tech in an asteroid.'
'Fuck.' Shepard aptly put it.
'Fuck indeed.' I agreed.
2185 CE
I avoided Samara. I've had a number of bad experiences with Justicars. They tend to take offense when you sack Thessia. And explaining that you only sacked part of Thessia, and even then you really only just razed it since you didn't steal anything, and that this whole thing was the fault of the Asari in the first place for attacking civilian non-combatants, well... Let's just say it didn't work out well for the Justicars.
Better to keep my distance, at least while I'm on the same spaceship she is.
Author's Notes: So a nice break chapter before the next bit of the plot, I think.
