CHAPTER 21: Take Me Home, Country Roads

2185 CE

I don't talk much about the millennium or so I spent researching the mass effect.

Mostly it's because those years were actually pretty boring. I got into Eezo research to figure out a new use for the material, but aside from an increasingly impractical amount of weapons, I honestly don't have all that much to show for it.

I think my favorite practical application of the mass effect was the two ton war hammer I designed with an Eezo core that allowed a user to use their biotics on to turn it as light as air. Hits like a tomkah when you cancel the mass effect.

You'd think this would be the perfect weapon for Krogan, but actually, most of the hammers went to Asari Commandos. There aren't a lot of natural Krogan biotics, and the Asari seemed to enjoy them more.

I once saw an Asari hit a Rachni on a low gravity world with one, sent the bug over the horizon, so I guess I understand the appeal. Aye-Aye certainly liked hers when she was a kid. I painted a unicorn on the hammer head and told Aye Aye that they weren't real. Only... I forgot to paint the horn onto it; so really I painted a horse, called it a unicorn and told Aye Aye that they were mythical. I wonder how that ultimately turned out?

Anyway, I didn't just study weapons of course. I studied biotics, I studied the relays, but the big thing I studied was engines. Not just space ship engines, though I worked on those too. Other stuff as well, like what happens when you add a mass effect field generator to a tomkah (the tomkah starts being able to do insane jumps when you ramp it off of things), or a personal skateboard (it cancels the mass of the skateboard, not your mass. So you just sit there. If you try and cancel your mass you lose all control).

I think my favorite thing to actually build with Eezo was the Tuchankan space elevator. Basically, it's a giant vertical tube, with a platform inside, and an entrance. Once the entrance is closed, the mass effect on the platform engages and the platform shoots upwards into space.

My plan was to use it to launch satellites into space. We'd end up with a working planetwide network with which to locate and defend against space-born incursions.

What I ended up actually using it for was as a means of execution.

Krogan can survive a fairly long time in vacuum compared to most other species, but a fairly long time isn't indefinitely.

Wrex set up the Clan Urdnot compound inside my old space elevator facility. It's a statement of power, I think. 'Fuck with me and see what happens.'

2185 CE

'Shepard!' Wrex called out, ignoring Gatatog Uvenk's complaints about his reforms.

They raced to meet each other like they were a couple in the pivotal scene in a human romantic comedy.

"Shepard! My friend!' Wrex announced, shaking Shepard's entire wrist.

'You look well for dead, Shepard. Should have known the void couldn't hold you.' Wrex announced.

'And you, Krell! Whole of Clan Nakmor's been up to something. That your doing?' Wrex continued. He knew very well it was, of course. I rolled my eyes at him.

'Looks like helping me destroy Saren and the Geth has worked out for you. Glad we didn't have to kill each other on Virmire.' Shepard announced, apparently having read the book I wrote for her on Krogan manners and decided to adopt them as superior to Human ones.

'Ha! You made the rise of Urdnot possible. Virmire was a turning point for the Krogan, though not everyone was happy about it.' Wrex laughed.

'Destroying Saren's Genophage cure freed us from his manipulation. I used that to spur the clans to unify under Urdnot. Krell there used it to convince Clan Nakmor to travel to another Galaxy.' Wrex bragged.

'You don't trust I'm gonna win?' Shepard asked, sounding hurt.

'I don't trust that Andromeda will win without the Krogan.' I corrected.

'You abandoned many traditions to get your way. Dangerous.' Gatatog Uvenk chided.

Wrex headbutted him. 'Speak when spoken to Uvenk. I'll drag your clan to glory whether it likes it or not.'

Wrex climbed up to recline on his throne. 'Now Shepard, What brings you here? How's the Normandy?'

'Destroyed in a Collectors surprise attack. I ended up spaced.' Shepard admitted.

'Well, you look good. Ah, the benefits of a redundant nervous system!' Wrex complimented.

'Yeah. Humans don't have that.' Shepard corrected him before I could.

'Oh. It must have been painful, then. But you're still standing here, and you've got a strong new ship. Takes me back to the old days. Us against the unknown, killing it with big guns. Good times.' Wrex complimented, completely ignoring his prior failure like it never even happened.

'Thanks to your helping Wrex process his daddy issues, he's become the closest equivalent the Krogan have to a ruling monarch.' I explained.

'Krell. I see your sense of humor's the same.' Wrex nodded.

'Don't worry. I brought gifts. Ancient Pre-uplift Krogan statuary. And just so you don't throw them out, I've also included a fun statue of Saren that Shepard gave to an arms dealer. It has a secret weapons compartment in the base. I've hidden a fun surprise for you.' I gloat.

'Weapons? It's not a surprise to put weapons in a secret weapons compartment, Krell.' Wrex teased.

'Nah, it's even better. It's the approximate location of a giant ass bomb.' I admitted.

'A treasure hunt? That is a fun surprise.' Wrex admitted.

'Sounds like you've got big plans for the Krogan.' Shepard admitted.

'We are making a neutral ground where all clans are welcome. Fertile females can be shared among clans. We will strengthen the race as a whole.' Wrex bragged.

'You threaten everything that makes us strong. It will not last.' Uvenk growled out.

'Maybe. Until then you're lucky to be a part of it.' Wrex shot back.

'You read my biography of Caesar?' I asked Wrex, wondering at Uvenk's presence.

'I did! But that's not why he's here. You just interrupted his weekly scheduled complaining.' Wrex laughed, getting my reference to the Roman practice of getting a public slave to recite 'momento mori' to a conquering general upon their 'eve of greatest triumph.'

'Actually, Yeah. I had to head to the damn citadel for a copy. You couldn't have sent one to me?' Wrex complained.

'Sure, as soon as you get the Tuchankan Postal Service going. Or someone starts up a book store.' I agree.

'Hmmm... Might take a year.' Wrex agreed, joking.

There was no way there'd be bookstores or serviceable mail on Tuchanka during the Reaper invasion.

'What do the women of Clan Urdnot think of this plan?' Shepard asked. She seemed prepared to headbutt him.

'It was our female clan leader's idea. The neutral area is safe, and it encourages more female clans to ally with us. Attacks on Urdnot now endanger females of all clans. Even clans that want to see me dead will defend Clan Urdnot.' Wrex bragged, deftly dodging that bullet.

'Your women have their own clan structure?' Shepard asked, surprised.

'You have a literal Krogan ethnographer on your ship and you ask this lunkhead about Krogan society?' I interject, mostly joking but also a little bit offended.

'I ask you for advice on other things.' Shepard defended.

'I studied Xeno Ethnography for about 105 years, Shepard. I wrote the book on Krogan society.' I argued.

'It's true. I have it over there in the latrine. Read it as I shit. Your human toilet paper's spoiled me, Shepard.' Wrex poked at me. I didn't doubt he'd been using it as toilet paper too. Wrex was canny; never wanted others to know as much as he knew. Great for controlling a society. Terrible for propagating one. Guess I know what I'm going to be doing after the Reaper war if I survive. University of Tuchanka's gonna be the greatest center of learning in the universe if I have my say. Of course, I'll need to found it first...

'Nothing is more valuable than a fertile female.' Wrex got the jump on me while I was plotting, I guess.

'We know it. They know it. They isolate themselves for their own protection. We work together to set up breeding alliance. I can hardly do anything without Clan Leader Uta's approval.' Wrex explained.

'What's so important about maintaining individual clans?' Shepard asked.

'What's so important about maintaining different countries back on Earth?' I shot back. It was a question of increasing political weight back on earth with the 25-year old Systems Alliance starting to try and assert its authority to entrench itself in the culture, all while a new generation born in the systems alliance came of age.

'Every clan has different customs. Rites of passage, rules of behavior, battle songs, all unique. That diversity makes us great. No clan, not even mine, was meant to survive on its own.' Wrex explained to Shepard as if she were a small child.

'Urdnot is the leading clan. Doesn't that make your culture primary?' Shepard asked.

'For now. But every clan has its unique assets. The best tacticians are Urdnot. Jorgal has the longest breeding line. Gatatog holds the oldest settlement. Nakmor have the best engineers, also, the best literature... by default. Others have their own strengths. We keep going as we are, the clans will end up as craters under nuclear haze. Even Urdnot. We need to rethink. Restart.' Wrex explained.

'Nakmor culture will be the only one in Andromeda. Assuming we all live another thousand years and figure out a way to beat time dilation, we can zip over to Andromeda and see who wins our bet.' I challenged Wrex.

'There's no way you'll live that long old timer.' Wrex shot back.

'You just don't want to admit you're wrong.' I shot back, playfully.

'How do you maintain security with so many different clans in one place?' Shepard asked.

'Any clan willing to send hostages can come in. No fighting inside the camp. Each clan punishes its own criminals. We stop conflicts before anyone dies. then we present a simple choice: pay a fine and deal with your problems, or your clan is no longer welcome.' Wrex explained.

'That doesn't sound very harsh by Krogan standards.' Shepard observed.

'Allies from other clans like what I'm doing. They help deal with skeptics. Many are eager for an outlet. Every time I've declared a clan unwelcome, my allies have destroyed them. Word gets around.' Wrex explained, smugly.

'Plata o Plomo.' I mutter, impressed.

'This sounds ambitious. How's it gone so far?' Shepard pressed.

'Better than I'd feared. worse than I'd hoped.' Wrex admitted.

'It can't continue. You are going against what makes us strong.' Uvenk interjected, unwelcomely.

'Sounds like you're not making friends.' Shepard observed.

'Traditionalists like Uvenk are chained varren. Always fighting, guarding their pathetic stick in the ground. When the smoke clears, I can plant the flag on their corpses and rally the rest around a new Krogan hub.' Wrex bragged.

'Sounds like you're counting on a lot of bloodshed, even after you unite.' Shepard decided.

'It will be slow, but I won't change what we are. Krogan are judged by the strength of our enemies. Our worst insult is to say someone's 'not worth killing.'' Wrex explained.

'I've got a slightly different thought process. But Wrex is right, it won't happen overnight.' I state.

Wrex laughed. 'You're too ambitious, Krell. Solving the food crisis? Building our own Relays? Those aren't enemies any more than Kalros is. You might as well declare you plan to fight Aralakh.'

'You of all Krogan should know, a Krogan only gets more fight in him as he grows older. You're just a thousand years too young to beat me.' I joked.

'All right, old timer. You don't have time for a proper fight with me. No doubt if Shepard's landed on Tuchanka you have business to take care of.' Wrex defused. He really has become a master diplomat for a Krogan; I'm honestly impressed.

'That sounds like a good segue.' Shepard admitted.

'We don't often allow aliens to do business on Tuchanka, but you're an exception.' Wrex admitted.

"I have a Krogan on my crew. He has some kind of sickness and needs treatment. I asked Krell, and he told me his clan was leaving the galaxy and to talk to you.' Shepard explained, as if I weren't standing right there. Still the statement was factually accurate, if missing some context, like Shepard threatening my life and telling me that I was the most likely next target if this was some kind of Krogan pandemic. I think it was my laughing at that idea that convinced her that it could wait until we saw Wrex again.

Wrex leaned in and looked at Grunt. 'Sounds like him. Where are you from, whelp? Was your clan destroyed before you could learn what is expected of you?'

'Shepard yelled at me. She told me that I would regret it if Grunt's illness turned into some sort of Pandemic.' I admitted.

Wrex looked at me, clearly laughing on the inside. I assume.

'I have no clan. I was tank-bred by Warlord Okeer, my line distilled from Kredak, Moro, Shiagur--'

'You recite warlords, but you are the offspring of a syringe!' Uvenk interrupted Grunt.

'I am pure Krogan. I will be the first Krogan Admiral since the Rachni Wars. You should be in awe.' Grunt countered.

'Feisty whippersnapper isn't he? Doesn't lack for ambition either.' Wrex asked. I smiled back.

'Okeer is a very old name. A very hated name.' Wrex admitted climbing off his throne to get a closer look at Grunt.

I wonder what he did to Wrex? Wrex can't just be counting my hatred of Okeer, and as far as I'm aware they weren't academic rivals.

'He is dead.' Grunt explained.

'Of course. You're with Shepard. How could he be alive?' Wrex agreed.

'Does the name Okeer mean anything to you, Wrex? Krell never said anything about it.' Shepard admitted.

'You never asked why I wanted to shoot him.' I countered.

'A vicious warlord responsible for many deaths. Who apparently toyed with genetics. A clone undertaking the Rite...?' Wrex asked, as much to me as himself.

'You are considering it? Tank-bred allowed status as an adult? This is too far!" Uvenk protested.

'There's nothing wrong with him. He's becoming a full adult.' Wrex explained to Shepard, completely ignoring Uvenk.

'Ah, puberty ritual. Common among species with hormone driven reproductive urges.' Mordin observed.

'I don't care what aliens call it. Krogan undergo the Rite of Passage.' Wrex explained.

'Too far, Wrex! Your clan may rule, but this thing is not Krogan.' Uvenk stormed off.

'Idiot. So, Grunt? Do you wish to stand with Urdnot? I certainly have no issues with your dream of a Krogan Navy.' Wrex decided.

'You'll let a tank-bred Krogan join Clan Urdnot?' Shepard asked.

'Only because he's with you; well, you and Krell. After all, you and I killed thousands like him. Not quite as big, but many. Clan Urdnot is strong and the others will do as I say. They see the benefit of my vision.' Wrex explained.

I decided to speak up a bit to make sure Shepard understood just how much trust Wrex was giving her judgment. 'What he's leaving out is the cultural taboo. Genetic engineering's a touchy subject with us Krogans. You know, since the Genophage.' I elaborate.

'If this one's good enough to run with you and Shepard I can afford to put a bit of faith in him.' Wrex retorted.

I nodded.

'What does the Rite of Passage require?' Shepard asked.

'Not for me to say, Shepard. The Shaman will discuss that.' Wrex deferred.

'What happens if he doesn't do this Rite of Passage?' Shepard asked, crossing her arms.

'If he was left here, he would be killed. The Clanless are not respected. A tank-bred, probably more so. His disposition is what it is, rite or no. That's just him being a Krogan.' Wrex admitted.

'Okeer didn't tell you that in the tank, did he, boy?' Wrex asked.

'Okeer didn't tell me a lot of things. Warlord Joker taught me what it means to be a warrior.' Grunt replied.

Wrex looked at me like I'd deeply betrayed his trust by not warning him of Grunt's particular lunacy; but in my defense, this was a lot funnier. You know, for me.

'I taught him to think for himself.' I admitted.

'There have got to be more steps between that and this than that.' Wrex argued.

'Actually, surprisingly few.' I admitted, still a bit shocked at how quickly it had all gone south.

'This is Grunt's choice.' Shepard finally interrupted.

Grunt turned around and stared off into the burning trashfire of Tuchanka.

'It is in my blood. It is what I am for. If joining Clan Urdnot helps me achieve my dream, then that is the path forward.' He finally decided.

'Good Boy. Speak with the Shaman -- he's on the second level. Give him a good show, and he'll set you on the path.' Wrex approved.

'You too, Shepard. How many times have you stepped in a mess for your crew, hmm?' Wrex added as Shepard walked by him.

Author's Notes: Ain't no place like home. Tuchanka arc's pretty big, gonna take more than one chapter for it. Same with the Omega-4 relay assault, I think. Tuchanka's a weird arc because it really feels like a single trip off the ship. There's not a lot of room to add Krell interacting with new people. Anyway. I'm back from vacation, so expect the quality of the proofreading to improve now.