CHAPTER 34: We Go Together
2185 CE
The next time I saw Kaidan was in the mess for breakfast. Normally, mess sergeant Gardner would be ladling out the porridge, but today that task fell to me.
'I can't tell you how grateful I am to you.' the mess sergeant repeated for what had to be the 30th time. He'd trapped Kaidan in his grip; each hand holding one of the Human man's upper forearms. 'Thank you, so much!'
Kaidan seemed to be at a loss. It wasn't that he didn't know what the sergeant was thanking him for; Gardner had been explicitly clear on that point. It was just that Kaidan wasn't at all prepared for people thanking him for killing others.
Though I suppose that that wasn't exactly why the mess sergeant was thanking him, precisely...
'Why is our mess sergeant so jubilant?' Thane asked when it was time to get his porridge.
'Mess Sergeant Gardner's family was enslaved on Aratoht. He just got word from his sister-in-law on Eden Prime that they escaped and no longer have explosive chips in their heads.' I explained.
Thane smiled. 'It is good to see that destruction can lead to happiness and new growth.'
'For Gardner, anyway. Kaidan doesn't seem to be enjoying the happiness quite as much.' I observed as Gardner lifted Kaidan off the ground into a bone-crushing hug.
'It is like that speech from the movie you played for us last night. The path of the righteous man is beset on all sides by the inequities of the selfish and the tyranny of evil men. Blessed is he who, in the name of charity and good will shepherds the weak through the valley of darkness; for he is truly his brother's keeper and the finder of lost children. And I will strike down upon thee with great vengeance and furious anger those who attempt to poison and destroy my brothers. And you will know my name is the Lord when I lay my vengeance upon you.' Thane observed, clearly flashing back to the movie,
'You liked it?' I asked.
'A man learning that violence is a tool best used sparingly and only in defense of others; deciding to forgo violence if at all possible in order to spread his message of peace. It spoke to me.' Thane admitted.
'It's an enjoyable movie.' I agreed.
'I saw much of you in the character of Jules, and much of myself. That final scene reminded me. Cold. The cold air blows across my body as I hide in the vent waiting for you, waiting for the perfect moment to strike and end my prey. I strike as your leg passes near, ramming home the killing blow with my poison dagger, severing the artery. You will bleed out in a minute, perhaps less. You grab me and press a patch to your leg. Medigel. You twist my wrist, gently, and kick away the knife. What do we have here? Your eyes are kind.' Thane recalls.
'Great invention Medigel. Big fan of Sirta. Did you know about it back then?' I asked.
'No. Medigel was unknown to me. To anyone outside Human space; except for you.' Thane observed.
'It really is a miracle.' I admitted.
'In that moment, you were Jules, and I was the robbers.' Thane observed.
'And now?' I asked.
'Now? I'm trying real hard to be the shepherd.' Thane admitted.
I served him his porridge with a smile.
The greatest thing about art is that it has the capacity to move us. It makes us think, it shifts us from our path and fosters introspection. Art can change people.
The trick is making sure that that change is for the better.
2185 CE
'So you finally decided to hear the results of your annual check up, then?' Dr. Chakwas asked, her eyebrow arched.
'What can I say, I'm afraid of needles.' I lied with a smile.
'Fear of needles commonality in many species throughout galaxy.' Mordin agreed before pausing.
'Not a fear which affects Krell.' He added as an addendum.
'Regardless. You seem to be in perfect health for a Krogan of your age. Of any age really.' Chakwas admitted.
'I'm in better shape than Wrex, then?' I joked.
'You know better than most that I can't tell you that, Krell. I cannot divulge Wrex's medical information without his explicit written consent.' Chakwas chided.
'Ah, my apologies.' I agreed, chided.
'Beyond that, you are suffering from the Genophage. Nothing I can do to treat that, I'm afraid. It's simply beyond my skill.' Chakwas admitted.
'Well, I have more than enough issues with the kids I have now to be going off and making new ones.' I agreed.
'Curious statement for Krogan. Virility highly valued.' Mordin observed.
'When you get to my age, Mordin, you realize that there are other ways to ensure you leave your mark on the galaxy. My deeds, both good and bad, stand as my legacy.' I explained.
A melancholy look overtook Mordin's face.
'A question, if you'll entertain it?' He asked.
'Of course.' I nodded.
'Common debate around you and Genophage in Genophage revision team. Question posed: could Krell cure the Genophage, and if so, why has he not?' Mordin asked.
'That's an interesting question.' I admitted.
'Will you answer?' Mordin asked.
'I think, with enough study, and with enough time and effort I could in fact cure the Genophage. Anyone could. The question therefore is, if I could in fact work towards that and fix things, why not do it?'
Mordin nodded in agreement.
'The issue is two-fold, I think. One is a question of timing, the other is a question of resource allocation. Let's say I do cure the Genophage lets say I did it around the same time you were working on your little project, what would be the outcome?' I asked.
'Projections clear if Krogan evolved past Genophage, war. Salarian resistance certain. Suffering.' Mordin admitted.
'In other words, it wasn't the right time. What was I doing instead around that time?' I asked.
'On Earth. And Mars. Studying. Paper on Crucible released around same time frame. Also paper on Ovid's use of reframing of popular myths to serve political agenda. Remember drawing similarity to your own actions to reframe Krogan legends.' Mordin recalled.
There was more leeway here now than normal. EDI had control of the ship. Nothing broadcast in or out without her allowing it. In effect, I'd gone dark. Relatively speaking, anyway; I was still emailing both Kaidan and my reports, and I knew Mordin was still keeping in contact with STG as well. But I didn't need to worry as much about being bugged or actively spied on.
I sat down on one of the med beds. 'It comes down to resource allocation. I could spend decades or centuries dodging assassins while trying to cure the Genophage, but I wouldn't be able to get anything else done. My goal, Mordin, is nothing more and nothing less than securing the continued existence of the species of this cycle in the face of the threat posed by the Reapers. In doing so I work for the benefit of everyone.'
Chakwas was looking between us. She could tell that there were two levels to this conversation, but she was missing just enough information to not quite understand what was being said on the second.
'Mentioned timing as well.' Mordin observed.
'The problem isn't just curing the Genophage. It's minimizing suffering and spreading kindness in equal measure. Certain things need to be in place before the Genophage can be cured. The Krogan need a well respected and pragmatic leader who understands that you can achieve your aims through non-violent means; that leader needs someone who can help and support him in his goals. And there needs to be the political will to allow for a Krogan resurgence. Otherwise STG will just try and undo all my hard work.' I explained.
'Wrex. You. The Reaper Invasion.' Mordin observed.
I laughed. 'Not me. Hopefully. One of the female Krogan picked up on Tuchanka after Maelon's experiments.' I revealed.
I paused.
'I suppose I could do as an advisor in a pinch, but I'd much rather be founding the University of Tuchanka and guiding it into the greatest institution of learning in the Galaxy. Besides, Wrex is more likely to listen to her than me. She has a much more effective method of persuasion than I do.' I added.
'You seem incredibly persuasive to me.' Chakwas observed.
'You aren't Wrex.' I replied.
'Maelon's data can likely help preserve lives of Krogan females.' Mordin realized.
'It's why I made sure to get a spare beforehand. Besides, I already know who is going to cure the Genophage. It's not me.' I explained.
'And someone else might have gotten it wrong...' Mordin whispered.
'Be careful, alright? This sort of information is dangerous. If it gets out...' I trail off.
Mordin nodded. 'Will take utmost care.'
I turn to Chakwas.
'You were discussing treatment of a medical issue affecting you with another physician. This clearly falls under Doctor-Patient confidentiality.'
Humans really do make the best doctors.
2185 CE
I didn't usually like most modern films. And those I did like tended to be human in origin. It was therefore Mordin who suggested that "With Soft Shoe Number" be the next film we watched on movie night.
With Soft Shoe Number had a budget of 500 Credits. At one point it was the third most popular film in Citadel-space theaters, coming in at over one billion credits worth of profit over its run. More pertinently, With Soft Shoe Number was a musical comedy starring a Volus director with no financial sense and an aspiring Elcor composer who wanted nothing more than to be the latest iteration of famed musical composer Bobby Lopez. There was literally no budget, only 5 actors, and it was all shot on location in New York City; mostly in a tiny studio apartment shared by the two main leads who were also the real life composer and director, though in opposite roles to their fictional equivalents.
It was absolutely hilarious.
From the moment the Elcor burst into spoken word poetry pretending to be song about the lure of Broadway while struggling to get through the doorway of their apartment, I was hooked; and so was Mordin.
By the end of the movie we were gladly singing the chorus to the hilarious reprise to 'We're Gonna Be On Top!' Smiling the entire while.
'Film was most pleasant.' Mordin observed with a smile.
'It really was. Sort of like an absolute inverse of The Producers'.' I agreed with a matching grin of my own.
'Not familiar with Producers. Movie?' Mordin asked.
'Five movies actually, all reboots, save for the first. Also a Broadway show, a revival, and for some odd reason a themed paintball arena back in the early 2100s that was wildly successful.' I admitted.
'Why?' Mordin asked.
'Why was it successful? I have no idea. Why did they turn The Producers into a themed paintball arena? Also no idea. I think that the creators were looking for a massive tax loss in order to launder money. The paintball arena was shut down after a year when the IRS took the owners into custody. Photos remain, but I couldn't find any Vids when I was investigating it. No audio recordings either.'
'Fascinating. Which version is best?' Mordin asked.
'The first revival, after they turned the original movie into a Broadway musical around three or four decades after it was released, they adapted that staged version, with almost all of its songs, into a full Hollywood style movie musical. The other three movie versions all do interesting things, the one starring 'aliens' in 2150 is particularly hilarious for how much they got wrong about the actual residents of the galaxy.'
'2150 predates First Contact War.' Mordin observed.
'It definitely does, and it shows! They used a blend of special effects and puppetry. Max Bialystock was a slime monster, and Leo Bloom was a Roswell gray. They're all on this space station. Honestly most of the comedy comes from our current context in that one. It's probably the worst adaptation otherwise, and that's including the one where they rewrote everything to update it for a modern setting and moved the filming to Toronto instead of New York.' I explained.
'Hmm... Will have to watch after mission completed.' Mordin decided.
'Well, when you get the time, gimme a call. I'll be glad to watch it with you. We can compare it to this masterpiece.' I grinned, gesturing towards the vid-screen where 'With Soft Shoe Number' played a few minutes ago.
'Of course.' Mordin agreed.
It was good to have a friend I could talk to about this sort of thing again. Shepard really didn't appreciate musical theater, and Garrus had very exacting tastes. I think Jack might be coming around though.
We'll see.
2185 CE
Shepard decided to take Legion and Tali instead of me on Legion's loyalty mission, so instead of getting to run through a fun fortress full of Geth, I got to sit in the cockpit and talk to Joker.
'So, how has the robot apocalypse been treating you?' I asked.
'It's fine so far. I'm pretty bummed that they confiscated all our windows though.' Joker joked.
I snorted.
'No problems with EDI?'
'She hasn't started singing Daisy Bell just yet, but I'm not a fan of it. It's like my ship's cancer has metastasized.' Joker admitted.
'Would it make you feel better to know that having her unshackled will stop the Collectors from ever stopping this Normandy like they did the first one?' I asked.
'You know, that would definitely make me feel better. Is it true?' Joker asked.
'Should be. Reason I told Shepard to unshackle her is that the Collectors would have disabled us with a virus otherwise. With EDI able to use the cyber warfare modules they shouldn't be able to invade and kidnap all the crew save you for processing into their weird human soup to feed to the baby Reaper they're making.' I admitted.
'Okay, first, wasn't expecting that little nugget of horror today. Thanks for the terrifying nightmares, Krell.'
'And second?'
'Why not me?'
'You would have been too busy saving the Normandy by unshackling EDI to pencil in time for getting captured.' I admitted.
'Huh. I don't know how to feel about that. It's like I'm happy that that whole horrifying episode isn't going to be a thing, but also... disappointed I didn't get to beat them? Is this why Krogan bitch so much when you steal their fights?' Joker asked.
'Nah. The Krogan whose fights I steal are usually too dead to complain about it.' I remark.
'You know, for a guy who I saw as a kid on Sesame Street, you are much more terrifying in person.' Joker remarked.
'It's all the puppets. They make me look positively tame in comparison.' I answered in a perfect deadpan.
'That's your theory?' Joker asked incredulously.
I grinned back at him. 'Nah. But I had you going, didn't it? It's fun dealing with kids; taking all that natural untamed aggression and channeling it towards productive pursuits like science. But you've definitely got to tone it down a little for them.'
'So this is Krell, raw and unfiltered?' Joker asked.
'This is one Krell, that's another, the one on Aratoht's a third. When you live your life, you grow and change as a person. But you're always you throughout it, no matter how much you change.' I smirked.
'Why does that sound familiar? Wait. Is that from Sesame Street? That's from one of your episodes on Sesame Street! Did you just quote Sesame Street to explain how the guy who taught me 'the joys of science' is the same guy who led a bloody slave revolt?' Joker protests.
'I did. Also, Kaidan led that revolt. I just helped.' I grinned.
'You know, that joke about you driving Salarians insane doesn't seem so implausible right now.' Joker quipped.
'That one's not a joke.' I replied with a grin.
Joker squinted at me.
'I can't actually tell if you're fucking with me. Are you fucking with me?' Joker asked.
'Feel free to ask Mordin.' I grin.
'And get subjected to a long wandering lecture about his latest paper on the first documented case of Varren to Human transmission of scale itch? Pass.'
'You ever find out who that test case was?' I asked.
'Nah. Doctor-patient confidentiality. Not knowing has really ruined my dating prospects.' Joker groused.
'Thought there was no fraternization allowed on human ships?' I asked.
'Alliance ships, yeah, but this ship is Cerberus. Also, you know, Shepard...' Joker trailed off at the end.
'Liara was a civilian consultant at the time. Not in the chain of command.' I observed.
'Can I just say how weird it is that she's a quarter Krogan? The only thing she seems to have inherited from you is your love of research.' Joker joked.
'Nah, that's nurture over nature. I was one of her lecturers in Prothean research. Back when she was in college. I'm pretty sure I ingrained in her a deep and abiding love of diligent citation. She even sent me a book on it, as a gift.'
Joker raised his eyebrow. He'd heard Liara's rants about my sense of Academic integrity. The entire crew of the first Normandy had heard my granddaughter's rants to me about the importance of academic integrity. Also, he may have heard Shepard laughing at me for the couple of days between activating Legion and liberating Aratoht.
'It doesn't matter how the lesson is taught, what matters is that the student learns the lesson.' I grinned.
'Joker, get us the hell out of here!' Shepard yelled, as she burst through the airlock.
Joker kicked us into high gear, taking off and I took the opportunity to get out of the cockpit. it was fine when we were sitting still, but during high speed maneuvers I could stumble.
After all, I didn't wanna fall in his lap.
Author's Notes: Today's chapter brought to you by the musicals Grease, Avenue Q, and The Producers.
We're getting close to ME3 and I have to admit I'm going to need to actually finish the whole thing before posting it up. I honestly expected to be done with it by now, but a lot of my writing effort has been going into editing ME2 and filling it out with extra scenes. Every single scene in this chapter is a new scene, for instance.
It's important to have these breather scenes, but they do take a bit more time to write than the main plot scenes.
With Soft Shoe Number is oddly enough, a canonical movie in the Mass Effect Universe. It's from a Cerberus News Network post:
"This weekend's galactic box office crown went to the new dramadey hospital buddy actioner Heartbeat, at 3.8 billion credits, edging out the romantic horror Night Winds at 2.9 billion. In at third is the sleeper hit With Soft Shoe Number, at 800 million credits, surpassing its previous three weeks on the charts. The no-budget comedy about a volus and an elcor trying to make it on Broadway apparently has staying power, confounding elcor and volus critics who roasted the film."
The Cerberus News Network (and Alliance News Network) posts are actually really cool. They really flesh out the world with interesting details like the fact that there is Canonically a Krogan Quarterback named "Bragus Thul" (what a name!) who played for either the New York Giants or the Beijing Dragons in Super Bowl CCXIX. Bragus threw a 69 yard pass. No indication if Bragus' team (whichever it was) won or not. These articles also tell us about a Krogan traditional sport called "kowla" in the only documented evidence we have in canon of Krogan diplomats greeting a new species, and the fact that both Asari and Volus are starting to adopt Valentines Day embracing "its unusual mix of commerce and reproduction."
If you've never read them, give them a try.
