Chapter 54: The Story of Tonight
'Krell!' came Tali's call as she greeted me with a smile. She was still wearing her suit, even on Rannoch itself, I guess that the Quarians haven't yet adapted to the environment.
Legion was with her.
'Nakmor-Professor. This unit welcomes you to Rannoch.'
'What? No Krell-day celebrations on Rannoch?' I smiled back.
'Well, the Geth knew you weren't actually dead, and then you emailed, so... it seemed in bad taste?' Tali admitted.
'Fair enough.' I replied, inwardly disappointed to have missed the festivities. 'Good to see you both. How is peace suiting you?'
'Acceptable, Nakmor-Professor.' Legion replied, simply.
'I still can't believe that I'm actually standing on Rannoch! The Quarian people owe you a debt we can never repay, Professor.' Tali replied.
'Is that so? Well, let's talk about the Reapers then, and my plans.'
Tali shivered. I'm not sure why, her suit is climate controlled, and even if it wasn't it was pretty warm outside.
We walked for a fair amount of time, just chatting about what was going on in the outer universe, Shepard's arrest. Kaidan's subsequent arrest. Miranda's little project, Jacob's arrival on Tuchanka with his band of cerberus maniacs and their subsequent deportation to my isolated frozen corporate science planet.
'Oh, and Liara has a new job too. She's auditioning to become a librarian.' I mention offhandedly as I sat down at the negotiating table.
'Really? But wasn't she...' Tali trailed off, aware of the other diplomats in her retinue sitting around.
'Yeah, she decided that the life of an information broker was too boring for her, so she decided that she wants to become a librarian. I'm not sure she's up to the job; but I wanted to give her some experience, you know? So I'm having her audition for the job. Do it on a temp basis, you know? Just to see if she's really up to the job of managing my library.'
Tali cocked her head, looking at me as if she wasn't sure what the punchline was, but certain that there was one.
'How big is your library?' she finally asked.
'Oh, as a total percentage of all the knowledge in the universe it's quite small. There's a lot that's been lost from previous cycles, you know.' I grin back with a twinkle in my eye. I'm pretty sure Tali understood what I meant; though if Tali hadn't read the specifications that were sent to the email chain it wouldn't do to give away the scale of the job I'd given my granddaughter. 'Of course, she also has a side job too. Couldn't keep her hands out of the intelligence pool entirely, after all.'
'Is it still the same job?' Tali asked, clearly humoring me.
'Nah, that's just a hobby now. Now she's the Chief Underling in-charge of Intelligence Operations for the Great Empire of the Enkindlers. Real fancy title.' I admitted.
'That sounds familiar... Wait! Isn't that the bigger job than your personal librarian, Krell?' Tali asked, amused.
'No.' I replied easily.
It was true, after all.
It's hard reading Quarians, so I wasn't completely sure whether Tali understood that I was serious or if she just thought it was my massive ego making pronouncements, but either way she laughed.
'Alright. Now, that's probably enough catching up. On behalf of the Quarian people, I welcome you to Rannoch, Professor Nakmor Krell, Chief Strategist and Diplomat of the Great Empire of the Enkindlers.'
Legion chimed in. Shortly afterwards, sitting at his side of the table.
'The Geth Consensus welcomes you as well, Nakmor-Professor. We look forward to discussing our future together.'
Was that wordplay? Damn. I wasn't aware the Geth could do that. Although, maybe it wasn't?
'Right, so in brief, my proposal is as follows: The Citadel doesn't recognize AI as sentients, and they've been really shitty to the Quarians as well. They also don't really seem as concerned about the Reapers as they absolutely should be. So! Instead of trying to rejoin the Citadel, why not join us? We have lots of ships, the Hanar, the Krogan, the Drell, and me. We also have a head of state that really is only interested in vengeance upon the Reapers for destroying his species and doesn't particularly care what any of the constituent members of his empire do as long as they fight the Reapers with him, which, you know, you'd be doing anyway since they want to wipe out all biological life in the galaxy, and the Geth have already rejected them.' I pitched.
'Wait, wait, slow down. That sounds like the Great Empire of the Enkindlers is run by a literal Prothean, Krell.' Tali interrupted.
'Yeah, it's the Great Empire of the Enkindlers. Gotta have some Enkindlers for it to be their empire right? I told you about Javik already.' I replied, thinking it obvious what had happened.
Tali stared at me. I could tell because her glowing eyes focused on me for a long time through her face plate without ever shifting or her saying anything.
'Do I have something on my face?' I asked, eventually.
'Krell, you told us that the Asari had kidnapped the Protheans. And now they're at the head of an interstellar empire. You skipped some steps. What happened?'
Legion was pointedly not saying anything. Probably already knew what had happened, I guessed. Wonder why he didn't tell Tali? Or did the Consensus not think it was worth mentioning?
'Legion, you didn't tell her?' I asked, giving voice to my curiosity.
'The information on the Great Empire of the Enkindlers did not seem relevant. It was unlikely to change the opinions of the Quarians either way with regard to their agreement.'
'Huh. Might wanna share that information in the future.' I advised.
'The Geth Consensus has access to a large amount of mostly irrelevant information. We have decided to devote the processing cycles that we would use to determine lesser degrees of relevance to formulating methods by which to combat the Old Machines. We would have shared the information upon request.'
Tali visibly winced. 'I didn't ask. Okay, that's one lesson learned, I guess.'
I nodded, laughing. I'm still not sure if the Geth have a sense of humor or not, but honestly that was a great punch line.
'Okay, so after the Asari kidnapped Javik and his band of merry men, he trained an army for them, well, for himself, from Asari maidens. Apparently the STG shared the news of his current whereabouts with the Hanar after Liara and I tipped them off at Virmire, and the Hanar rescued and evacuated him and immediately declared him emperor. And then Javik decided to conquer the Terminus. So when I met him on Omega-'
'Aria's Omega?' Tali asked.
'Javik's Omega. Now run by Aria; who he sent to the Citadel as a diplomat.' I corrected.
'Oh.'
I wasn't sure how exactly to unpack all the emotions in Tali's voice but I could definitely detect mounting horror at the scale of the impending tragedy that was Aria, diplomatic envoy to the citadel from the Great Empire of the Enkindlers.
'Yeah.'
I paused.
'Actually, if I'm Chief Diplomat, does that make her my underling?' I asked, struck with a feeling of dread myself.
We both paused, taking in the idea with equal measures of amusement and mounting horror.
The moment passed quickly with the help of a quick bit of repressing the information to deal with it later, when I wasn't in the middle of diplomatic negotiations.
'Anyway, so I met Javik and he offered me the job of Chief Strategist and Diplomat of the Great Empire of the Enkindlers. Great title, right? And since the Citadel has consistently been run by paranoid jerks for as long as I've been alive, I decided to offer a few like-placed species some opportunities to join us. That's you, and Javik, and probably the Rachni once I get around to talking to them. Maybe the Humans too, I like the Humans. Oh! And the Elcor! It's unjust that such a wonderfully creative species has to share an embassy with the Volus. Oh! And the Volus! The Turians are never going to make them a full member species and we both know it. Oh, and the Krogan, obviously. That's already locked down though. Oh and the Geth, obviously. As AI the Citadel isn't really a viable option for them anyway.'
Tali was staring at me in shock.
'Krell, you can't just gloss over forming a galactic empire like that!'
'I was busy. You were with me almost the entire time, Tali! Honestly, it was mostly an accident.' I protested.
'That makes it worse! You can see how that makes it worse, can't you Krell?' Tali protested.
'Okay, I guess now that I've said it aloud I can see how that sounds a bit preposterous, but I promise you it's true. Anyway, that's not the important part here!' I replied.
'That's not the important part, he says. Can you believe this Legion?' Tali griped.
'Nakmor-Professor's explanation fits all available evidence.' Legion replied.
'Of course it does. What's the important bit?' Tali griped.
'The important bit is that I'm offering you the chance to join the Great Empire of the Enkindlers! A wonderful federation whose rules are still being written but include self-determination and colonization rights for all member species as well as mutual protection from military threats. And not just any military protection! Krogan military protection! I can tell you no one wages war as well as the Krogan. We're already building a navy, but I figured that you guys might have some things to contribute on the matter.' I admitted.
'Krell, we can't just agree to something like this on short notice!' Tali protested.
'Incorrect. Creator Tali'Zorah has been vested with all due authority as a member of the Admiralty Board and the Chief Diplomat to make such agreements, subject to subsequent ratification by the Admiralty Board.' Legion helpfully replied.
'Look, here are the important bits, the elevator pitch, if you will. We all fight the Reapers together. Javik is head of state. All species within the empire are equal and subject to the rule of law, and proper due process in cases of criminal accusations. All member species, biological and technological, contribute to the military war effort against the Reapers, and all member species, biological and technological, will be protected from the Reapers. The rest of the laws are still being determined, and if you want in on determining what those laws are, you're going to need to join now, rather than later. Also, your only other option for a galaxy-spanning multi-species alliance is the Citadel. So, you know, good luck with that.'
'I can't just agree to that with a handshake, Krell.' Tali replied.
'Of course not! That's why I brought documents!' I fiddled with my omnitool and sent the files to Legion and Tali, immediately getting a notification that the Geth consensus had signed and returned their copy.
'Already!?' Tali asked Legion incredulously.
'Substantively, the document was exactly as Nakmor-Professor described, and the professor is right that there is no recognition of AI rights by the Citadel. We decided that there was no other viable option, and thus no need to delay.'
Tali rolled her eyes. 'I'm going to bring this to the Admiralty board to discuss. I don't know how long it's going to take, but can you stay here until we have a decision?'
'I can stay a week, but I really need to start opening relations with the Citadel soon so that we don't accidentally start shooting each other before the Reapers arrive, so I can't promise more than that.' I admit.
'A week should be fine. Meetings don't usually last more than two or three days anyway.' Tali admitted.
'Well then, shall we break for lunch?' I asked.
'Might as well. You have the agreement of the Quarians subject to ratification. Let me send this on so we can start that process. I'll set up the Admiralty board meeting for tomorrow so that everyone can read it. Legion, can you send the board a briefing package on the Great Empire of the Enkindlers?' Tali requested.
'Of course.' Legion replied.
I smiled, it was nice to get through the political stuff.
'Hey Tali, why don't you show me around while we wait then?' I'd always wanted to see Rannoch. This seemed like a great opportunity to mix business with pleasure.
Author's Note: For personal reasons I'm not fond of Lin-Manuel Miranda. I dislocated a rib laughing at him too hard when he told me that he was only in his current job until his musical hit it big on Broadway, about a year or two before In The Heights did exactly that. Perhaps not my finest hour, but I was a younger man at the time. Also he remembered it when I met him in the signature line outside the theater later. He's a dick whose work is stalking me through pop culture, is what I'm saying.
But he's an extremely talented dick. So, if we're talking about a song where revolutionaries commit to their cause around a negotiating table... well, Hamilton's got you covered with The Story of Tonight. This is the version he sings off the Hamilton cast album.
