34 ABY

General Hux was arriving on Finalizer as we entered the hangar bay. He fussed with Ren's battalion commander as Stormtroopers and crew loaded supplies into the command shuttle and its supporting transports. By the time the man himself arrived, he was visibly agitated.

"What is the meaning of this, Ren?" he snapped, his voice resounding throughout the hangar. "Why are you defying the Supreme Leader's orders?"

Kylo walked straight up to him and held a threatening finger in his face. "The. Map. To. Skywalker."

Troopers turned their heads to eavesdrop as I openly stared from the safety of my helmet. By now, the news about Lord Ren murdering a bridge officer had spread far and wide. Whether he knew about it or not, Hux stood his ground in silence.

"The Rebellion, a whimpering group of idiots, managed to take down the Empire because of one Jedi. This Jedi." I heard an incredulous exhale. "The Empire. Which had ten times the force and influence of the First Order."

"I...see your point, Ren."

My mouth fell open.

"I suppose I must entertain your recklessness for once. I will send word that this diversion from Triton was urgent."

Kylo seemed equally taken aback. He pulled back his shoulders and turned his head as the General hurried away. "As you should..."

When I made to follow him onto the command shuttle, Vegas caught my arm. He gestured to one of the smaller transports, which was half full of Stormtroopers. "My unit."

"Oh."

The transport jostled rhythmically as we neared the landing zone, which was in the middle of a vast desert. The low altitude and high speed made me grip my handrail renew. A white light glinting off one of the men's visors caught my eye, and I glanced out the tiny viewport to my right. The exterior lights of the command shuttle flashed as it touched down vertically, its engines venting steam into the cold night air. I couldn't see the target or the other transports.

"Prelims showed low population with no military presence," Vegas briefed his unit. I glanced over my shoulder to make sure they were paying attention.

"No quarter, sir?" one of them asked.

"If someone is unarmed, don't shoot," he ordered. "Lord Ren can't interrogate a dead man."

"A—Alright."

Vegas tilted his head.

"Y—Yes, unit leader. Sorry, sir."

I scoffed under my breath. Though I should've been scared as well, I felt nothing. Not even nervousness.

The landing came sooner than expected, and I quickly raised my blaster rifle. The ramp hissed its descent, and chaos erupted before my eyes.

We must have been the last transport—the battle was already underway. Blaster fire and smoke filled the air, making it difficult to assess the battlefield as we poured out of the transport. A formation of Stormtroopers was pressing into the rural village while armed villagers assaulted them from both flanks. Villagers and Troopers alike were falling to the ground left and right.

Without hesitation, I raised my blaster on the villagers. Shot—kill. The man discharged his weapon as he died, taking another enemy down with him. A sudden rush of endorphins flooded my system, bringing my body to life. I smiled under my helmet.

Shot—kill. Shot—kill.

Securing the village was quick work.

The non-combative locals were herded into a crowd of about fifty—outnumbered six to one. Some Stormtroopers guarded them with blaster rifles as others used flamethrowers to torch their houses. Women and children ran out of them, throwing themselves at their feet and pleading for mercy. They were added to the herd.

Kylo stood in the middle of the village square as an old man was separated and brought before him. I felt a tap on my shoulder.

"Caltrel."

I followed the line of Vegas' hand with my eyes. Kylo's back was unguarded and facing some uncleared buildings. I gave him a nod as we advanced to cover him, just like old times. The old man stood before him with a defiant yet calm expression on his face, reminding me of the first man I killed.

"Look how old you've become."

I turned my head. Kylo knows him?

"Something far worse has happened to you," the man countered.

A pause. Kylo put his hands behind his back. "You know what I've..."

His voice trailed off, too quiet for me to hear. I stepped closer to get within earshot, and Vegas mirrored me step-for-step.

"I know where you come from," the man asserted. "Before you called yourself 'Kylo Ren.'"

My eyes became glued to the man. What...?

"The map, to Skywalker. We know you found it." Kylo turned his back, revealing both confidence and arrogance. "And now you're going to give it to the First Order."

"The First Order rose from the Dark Side. You did not."

My mind reeled as Kylo froze in place. He whirled on the man and stepped forward aggressively. "I'll show you the Dark Side," he sneered.

"You may try," the old man said calmly. "But you cannot deny the truth that is your family."

I heard an incredulous exhale. His voice was suddenly pleasant. "You're so right."

He ignited his lightsaber as he raised it above his head. No interrogation? A definitive slash landed across the old man's body, scorching down to the bone, and the villagers reacted with shock and horror. As he crumpled to the ground, a flash of blue flew out of the northeast. Kylo raised his hand, stopping the blaster bolt in midair.

"Damn it," I heard Vegas hiss.

My eyes darted to the would-be assassin, frozen by the Force and struggling to breathe. Two Stormtroopers surged forward to subdue him. I scanned the perimeter with Vegas, using my scope to zoom in on the dark sand dunes to the north and east. It was difficult to see anything.

The Trooper kicked the man's legs out from under him, and he fell to his knees in front of Kylo. He looked up with hatred in his eyes, and I suddenly identified his uniform.

A Resistance pilot.

Kylo crouched in front of him and tilted his head.

The Stormtroopers around us murmured excitedly amongst themselves. It was probably their first time seeing a Resistance fighter in the flesh, too.

"So who talks first? You talk first, I talk first?"

Kylo stared at him silently. "The old man gave it to you," he murmured.

The man blinked twice. "It's just very hard to understand you with all the—"

Kylo stood up. "Search him."

"A—Apparatus..."

The Troopers roughly yanked him to his feet and went through his leather jacket. I glanced back into the darkness nervously, wondering why they would send a lone pilot. Vegas seemed to have the same thought.

"Nothing, sir."

"Put him onboard."

As they dragged the pilot towards the command shuttle, a palpable sense of excitement went through the battalion. The commander approached Kylo.

"Sir, the villagers?"

"Kill them all," came the order.

I raised my blaster and disengaged the safety, and the weapon whirred to life. This action was repeated a hundred times over, resulting in an immediate panic among the villagers. Blaster fire began to rain down on them. I aligned my scope with a man's head as he pushed against a wall of frantic people trying to get free. Shot—kill. A woman nearby fell to her knees, covering his corpse with her upper body. I aimed at her back...

Her wails were so loud I could hear them through the pandemonium around me.

My aim drifted. My finger squeezed the trigger halfway, trembling and hesitant.

There was not a single Ranger in sight. No other Resistance fighters. No law enforcement. Only defenseless civilians.

But I...have to...

My finger returned to the trigger.

"Lucy."

Vegas elbowed my arm, inclining the angle of my shot so the red bolt flew into the night sky. I looked at him in surprise. He slowly raised his blaster, clearly aiming above the heads of the crowd. He fired off a volley of shots. Filled with confusion, I raised my blaster and did the same.

When I saw Kylo enter the command shuttle, I broke away. I holstered my blaster and broke into a sprint, ignoring Vegas' attempts to stop me. I crossed the busy common area and approached him from behind—he stood at the main viewport, staring out at the burning village. I removed my helmet and breathlessly gulped down some air.

"Kylo...what did he mean about before?"

Vegas' hand clamped around my arm, and I shook it off. Kylo didn't react to me at all.

"Vegas," he said, monotone. "Find out that Trooper's designation."

I followed his gaze to a Stormtrooper standing alone in the village, with blood smeared on his helmet. He looked dazed and confused as his comrades carried out their orders.

"That's one of mine, sir," Vegas chirped. "FN-2187. His first time on the front lines."

He didn't respond. I glared harder at the back of his helmet.

"What did he mean?" I repeated adamantly.

When he finally spoke to me, his voice was as cold as ice. "Leave me alone."

Anger welled up inside of me. After everything I had given to him—my heart, my body, my mind—the least he could give me was an answer. Vegas tugged on my arm again, and I went more than willingly this time. His repeated attempts to talk to me on the transport failed.

After we docked with Finalizer, Vegas vanished. I mindlessly followed the trail of Stormtroopers into decontamination. The large room off the hangar bay was filled with dim ultraviolet light and had a poignant acidic smell. Enlisted Troopers stripped off their armor on long benches and stepped under the open showers. The entire room was buzzing with talk of the Resistance prisoner.

I followed an officer to the private cubicles in the back. Each one had a small changing area and a partitioned shower. My nostrils burned when I peered around the shower curtain. Sitting on the cramped bench, I pulled off my helmet and began unsnapping my armor. Once this task was completed, I sat there in my leather undersuit and stared at the ground.

The battle high of adrenaline had left behind a vacuum. Regret and shame suddenly came rushing in, stealing my breath with its intensity. Tears brimmed in my eyes and spilled over my cheeks. I dropped my face into my hands. What have I done to myself? A sob tore through me, and my shoulders began to shake. Memories of death and killing and violence flashed through my mind, ending with one singular image.

Kylo Ren's vacant stare.

What was it all for?

Suddenly, I heard a hesitant knock on the cubicle door. "Lucy...?"

When I didn't respond, the door cracked open. I hid my face in my hands again, ashamed of myself. Ashamed of my weakness. I heard Vegas maneuvering in the small space, and then his hands gently pried mine away from my face.

I blinked down at him as he knelt in front of me, his face etched with concern. He stood halfway and pulled me into an awkward embrace. I raised my hands to his back, gripping any plastoid edges I found there. Vulnerability tore a hole in my chest, causing a hopeless sob to tumble out of me.

"J—John," I whimpered. "He...he hurt me..."

His arms tightened around me. "I know," he whispered. "I know."

Time lost all meaning in Vegas' healing arms. They surrounded me with a feeling of love and protection that I had seldom known. I cried harder at the thought that this was all I ever wanted from Kylo. In my gut, I knew that I would never get it. My tears flowed and gathered under my chin, carrying with them months of unfelt sorrow.

When he sat down beside me, I buried my face in his neck. He rubbed circles into my back. "Lucy..."

Suddenly, his whisper in my ear was all I could hear.

"I'm leaving the First Order right now, Lucy. And you're coming with me."

I stiffened in shock. Just him breathing those words to me put his life in grave danger. "Does Ren...?"

"No. And he's not going to find out."

I started to shake my head. "But he's—"

"Interrogating the Resistance prisoner right now."

He gently pulled me away from him. I drifted back and searched his expression, looking for any sign of deception or mockery. His face was more genuine and honest than ever before. He gingerly cupped my face, stroking my damp cheeks with the pads of his thumbs.

"I'm begging you, Lucy," he pleaded, his eyebrows coming together. "Come with me."

A brand new set of possibilities dawned in my mind, with the correct path laid bare.

Blinking away my tears, I nodded.