I gasped as my eyes snapped open. The ethereal stars of the night cycle were shining above me.

Another stabbing pain in my stomach forced me to roll onto my side. Something's wrong. Then, a tearing pain split me down the middle. I cried out and clawed my way into a sitting position.

I felt a warm gush between my legs.

"9E," I called fearfully.

Bloody footprints followed me to the medbay. By the time I collapsed onto a cot, my vision was tunneled and my limbs were trembling from blood loss. The medbots reacted immediately—taking my vital signs, shoving tubes into my arms, and summoning the doctor. I remember mumbling incoherently to Major Duval as my consciousness faded to black.

Gravity shifted. It felt like I was hanging upside down. When I opened my eyes, bright white lights shone above me. I tried to lift my hands to block it, but they were strapped down. The precise hydraulic movements of droids filled my ears. A bag of bright red liquid hung on a pole above my head. When I felt a burning pain in my nether regions, I whimpered.

"Give her another five milligrams."

"Yes, sir."

"No," I rasped, my head lulling to the side. "The…"

When I regained consciousness, I felt heavy drugs fogging my brain. Hoping it was all just a nightmare, I cracked my eyes open. I blinked my blurry vision away until the dark interior of the medbay came into focus.

Instead of the usual exam table, I lay in a bed with several white blankets covering me, restricting my movement. A monitor beeped rhythmically nearby. I wiggled my fingers and toes to ensure they were still functioning.

Movement in my peripheral vision caught my eye. A medical tech stood there, her blonde hair pulled back into a long braid. She was watching the monitor at my bedside. When I began to stir, she looked down at me. My dry vocal cords refused to create volume.

"The baby?" I mouthed.

"It's alright, my lady," she said reassuringly. "You had a placental abruption. But you're fine."

What is that? I wanted to ask. Is the baby safe?

Instead, lethargy dragged me back into the darkness again.

The third time I woke up, I was in yet another new location. The warm, soothing waters of a bacta bed surrounded me. My head was slightly elevated, allowing the bacta fluid to just reach my collarbones. Soft blue lights illuminated the water from below, and the gentle circulation caused my white medical gown to float. I could tell I wore nothing beneath it.

I sensed a presence nearby. I turned my head.

A pale arm rested on the edge of my pod. Hair as black as night lay over it, with only a sliver of forehead showing. His breathing was deep and regular, indicating he was asleep.

Nearby, a medbot detected my movement and activated itself. Ren began to stir at the sound. His head suddenly shot up as though he had fallen asleep unexpectedly. He blinked at me rapidly, his eyes baggy and red-rimmed. When he spoke, his voice was raspy and deep.

"They told me what happened."

My eyebrows drew together. "What…happened…?"

He swallowed thickly. "You lost the child."

The water splashed when I urgently sat up, my wet hands grasping the edges of the pod. My breaths came quick and shallow as I processed the information. The medbot approached me with a concerned question. My apathy towards the baby was suddenly an aching and devastating need to have it.

It's gone…?

I wrapped my arms around my stomach, feeling broken and incomplete. I shook my head in disbelief. I couldn't even keep one innocent life alive…

What's wrong with me?

My hands flew to my face as sobs bubbled up in my chest. Sadness crested over me like a tidal wave, taking me deep below the surface of the water. Tears rushed into my eyes and spilled out when I squeezed them shut. My entire body began to shake with the force of my hysterical weeping. I cursed the universe for taking the child's life instead of mine—a fate I most definitely deserved.

A hand touched my shoulder, and my head jerked up.

His eyes were wide.

I slapped him across the face.

Before he recovered from the shock, I shoved my finger into his face, intent on wounding him as deeply as possible. Hurting him as much as I hurt.

"This is all your fault!" I roared.

Anger and pain chased each other across his face.

Suddenly needing to be far away from him, I grabbed the opposite side of the pod and weakly pulled myself up. "None of this would've happened…"

"Lucia…"

"None of it…" I shakily maneuvered both of my legs over the side. "If you weren't such a—"

As soon as my slimy foot touched the floor, I slipped. Arms caught me before I hit the ground. Adrenaline flooded my system, giving me the boost of energy required to begin thrashing immediately. I blindly swung my fists and kicked my legs to break free. When I felt him tighten his arms, I grabbed his hair and sank my teeth into his shoulder. He was completely unfazed.

"Lucia…"

"Let go of me!" I screeched.

He held on. My assault weakened rapidly, and my limbs went limp one by one. A defeated growl tore through my chest as my lungs continued to heave. His hands balled the wet material on my back, drawing me close.

In the sudden quiet, I heard him. He released a shaky breath and sniffled through a stuffy nose. When I realized what was happening, I listened in earnest.

"Lucia…Lucia…Lucia…"

He continued to breathe my name, each one more miserable than the last. Then his voice trailed off, and his body trembled in a fit of silent sobs. I stared up at the dark ceiling with my hands lifeless on the floor, listening to his ragged breathing as he recovered.

He drew in a breath and held it.

A very long pause followed.

"I was born on a Core World. Chandrila," he said hoarsely, his voice breaking. "I was born 'Ben Solo.'"

I silenced my breath.

"I destroyed that weak part of me when I came to Snoke. I became 'Kylo Ren.' For five years, I was completely alone…living from kill to kill…and then…"

He breathed out a sob and hugged me tighter.

"I can't live without you, Lucia," he mumbled in agony. "I'll do whatever it takes to be with you. Just please…please…love me..."

My mouth gaped open, but no words came out. I blinked my eyes, and a few cold tears rolled down my face. As the minutes passed, thoughts ran through my mind like water through my fingers. If anything, his revelation just reminded me how much of a stranger he was to me.

"Let go of me," I rasped.

An exhausted sigh came out of him.

He loosened his arms, first lowering my legs to the ground and then my back. As he pulled away, he turned his face to hide it. I was left on the cold floor, feeling some part of me violently torn away as he exited the room. I covered my face in shame.

And I let myself go, pouring out my soul into my hands. Like an empty vacuum, sadness rushed in to take its place.