Your Future Hasn't Been Written Yet
by K. Stonham
first released 3rd October 2021

"And here we go," said Stuart, handing the rather large order out the window. "Two dozen Diablo Maximus Tacos, a Diablo Maximus Breakfast Burrito, and one Coke."

"Thanks!" Toby Domzalski handed him a wad of cash through the window.

"Got a taco party going on?" the disguised Durian couldn't help but ask. He quite liked Toby. Nice kid. Polite. Was doing his best to bring himself up to a decent level of heat tolerance.

"Something like that." Toby stuffed the bags of food into his backpack and nestled the soda can into its side pocket. "Gotta go. Catch you later, Stuart!" he said, waving as he hopped onto his bike and pedaled off, joined by two friends.

"Right, next order," Stuart called. "One order of Taquitos Con Carne with extra jalapeƱo spice sauce?"

Eli Pepperjack waved his hand in the air. "That's me!"


Jim was running down their prep list. "Horngazel?" he asked. Blinky held it up. "Check."

"Tacos 'til Tuesday, and one Trollhunter Amulet," Toby volunteered.

"Check."

"Bag of holding," Douxie said, shouldering on an empty black backpack, "and prepped gas masks," he added, holding up a set of hospital face masks that glowed, if you looked carefully, blue.

"Check."

"One riddle master, in case Gatto's got a new challenge," said Claire.

"Check. And I've got my amulet, so... can anybody think of anything we're missing?" Jim asked, giving them all one last chance.

Heads all around the cavern shook no.

"All right," Jim said, "then let's go."

Their motley crew of eight walked through the tunnels and sewers underlying Arcadia Oaks, following Blinky and Draal's lead. Then came the humans, the wizard, the dragon, and finally Aaarrrgghh brought up the rear. Bioluminescent fungi combined with sporadic glowing crystals to light the way; Douxie's conjured light balls provided enough additional illumination to keep any of the humans from taking unpleasant falls.

"Ugh, I always forget how it reeks down here," Toby complained.

"Smells nice," Aaarrrgghh offered.

"Agree to disagree, Wingman."

"There it is!" Claire said excitedly, pointing to a filled-in brickwork arch ahead. Trollish characters carved around it, filled with glowing moss, proclaimed...

"Does that really," Douxie asked, "say 'Say "Friend" and enter'?"

Blinky looked abashed. "It was a good book," he mumbled.

Jim bit his lip, trying desperately not to laugh. A quick look around showed that Claire, Toby, and Douxie were having the same reaction.

"Well," said Archie, landing daintily on the ground, "they've made a few quite good films out of the trilogy. We'll have to arrange a movie night sometime. For now, however..."

"Yes!" Blinky recovered, digging the horngazel out of his bag. "For now, we have a gyre to borrow, and a troll king to confront!" And so saying, he drew the arch to let them all into Heartstone Trollmarket.


Trollmarket's back entrance really was right by the gyre station, and out of the way of most of the action of Trollmarket, so they only came across one person between their entrance and their exit.

"Hey, Kleb!" Toby said, waving.

The red troll paused. "Trollhunter?" he asked.

"Yep. Long time no see, big guy!"

He did not expect to be swept up into a crushing hug. "Where have you been?" the troll asked. "You slew Bular, and we all wished to throw a party to celebrate, but you were nowhere to be found!"

"Well, ah..." Toby floundered.

"Banned from Trollmarket," Aaarrrgghh said softly.

"What?"

"Yes, Vendel disapproved of our methodology, and so has exiled our entire group," Blinky explained.

"Yeah, we're kind of here on the hush-hush, to borrow the gyre for a top secret mission," Toby said, holding a finger up before his mouth in what was hopefully an interspecies signal for silence.

"Ahh, I take your meaning," the troll said. But a smile tugged at the corner of his fanged mouth, and there was a twinkle in his eye. "I most certainly shall not mention your banishment to my friends at the tavern."

Toby felt his own grin forming.

"Yeah, it'd be just terrible if word got out to Trollmarket about what happened," Jim chimed in.

"Undermining Vendel does not seem a sound tactical move," Blinky butted in.

"Vendel's still mortal, and fallible," Douxie said.

"When one 'screws up,' as the humans put it," Draal agreed, "it is not unreasonable for them to feel consequences."

Blinky sighed heavily. "Fine. So be it," he said. "We must be on our way."

"I've got it!" Claire skipped ahead, stealing the horngazel out of Blinky's hand, and drew the entrance to the gyre station.

"Gotta go!" Toby said, waving good-bye. "See you around, Kleb!"

"Good luck, Trollhunter," the troll said, waving in return.


"His name's seriously 'Kleb'?" Douxie asked lowly as the entrance resealed behind them.

"I know. Hilarious, isn't it?" Toby asked.

"Will someone kindly fill the rest of us in?" asked Archie, winging his way overhead as the gyre platform rotated.

"It's an Akiridion swear word," Claire filled in.

"Ah, linguistic convergence," the dragon mused, landing even as the platform finished its spin and locked in place.

Douxie whistled, looking up at the troll transport which, true to its name, looked rather like a gyroscope. "Well, that's something new."

"Ever been on one?" Jim asked, climbing up and in.

"It's a day for new things," Douxie said glibly, following. "Any advice?"

"Hang on," said Draal.

"Hate gyre," Aaarrrgghh moaned.

"Well, that fills me with confidence," Archie muttered, switching to his cat form and jumping into Hisirdoux's arms.

Blinky settled himself at what Douxie assumed were the controls. "Everyone ready?"

"No," Aaarrrgghh grumbled, but was ignored.

"All in place," Toby reported. "Go for it, Blinky!"

The gyre's outermost ring, looking like nothing so much as a giant tire, began to spin, faster and faster, rattling the entire open device.

"I have the feeling I'm not going to enjoy this," Archie said, shrinking further into Douxie's arms.

Jim looked over at them. "Seriously, hold on," he recommended.

Douxie barely had time to process the words before Blinky, cackling like a madman, slapped his hand down on a glowing crystal and the whole gyre shot off at hypersonic speed. Blue-white magic streamed around them like they were in Star Wars hyperspace as they jolted right, left, up, and down. It felt like riding the world's unsafest roller coaster with no safety belts on.

His scream was stuck in his throat. He could barely swallow at the speed they were traveling. His stomach had been left behind in Trollmarket. The only sensation that seemed to matter was Archie's claws digging deeper and deeper into his arm. The left was protected by his bracer, but Douxie felt hot blood blossoming from the right.

And then, as quick as the gyre had started, it stopped again.

For a minute, it was all he could do to stay still and try to breathe, his ears ringing as his stomach started to catch up. Archie, trembling, seemed as stunned as he was.

"Ugh. Yeah, the first time's the worst," Toby commiserated, patting Douxie's shoulder.

Claire shook her head, as if to clear the ringing, then carefully made her way to the stairs. "I did not miss that," she said.

"Nonsense!" Blinky said ebulliently, following her. "Statistically speaking, it's the safest method of travel."

"You okay?" asked Jim.

"I'm fine, I think," Douxie said, forcing down bile. He reflexively smoothed a hand over his familiar's fur. "Arch?"

The dragon hissed, then sprang into the air, transforming. "I am never going on that again," Archie growled, wings backbeating him away from the gyre. "I don't care what you do. You cannot make me!"

"You'll be stuck in South America, then," Draal told him.

Douxie glanced at his bleeding arm, and quickly pulled his hoodie sleeve down before anyone else could notice. Archie was upset enough already; he didn't need guilt on top of it. The stench of sulfur and molten rock should mask the smell of blood.

Jim, though, stopped Douxie with a hand on his other arm, and a meaningful glance at his sleeve.

"Got a med kit on you?" Douxie asked him. Jim's mouth opened slightly then shut. "I'll deal with it when we get home," Douxie promised.

Jim clearly wasn't happy about that, but had no better solution, so he nodded.

"Come on, Arch," Douxie called to his familiar. "Treasure, remember?"

"No treasure is worth that, that contraption," the dragon spat.

"Shinies," Douxie wheedled. "Gold and emeralds. Maybe some rubies."

"I will not be mollified," sniffed the dragon. But he did condescend to fly closer and transform again, landing on Hisirdoux's shoulder.

Douxie dug his fingers into Archie's fur, scratching at the ever-present itch between his familiar's shoulderblades, where wings should be but weren't.

Archie relaxed one bare inch, then another. Finally he sighed, and melted. "Fine," he grumbled. "But I won't enjoy it."

"Not expecting you to," Douxie replied, and finally followed the others down the stairs.


"Pardon me, gracious friend," Blinky said to one of the masked trolls who labored in the mine, "we would request an audience with Gatto." As he more or less expected, their party was wordlessly directed to the scaffolding built around the massive troll. "Thank you most kindly," he said. The politeness was perhaps unnecessary, given that this encounter was likely to repeat that of the previous timeline, but it certainly could not make things worse. And its lack might prove detrimental.

The climb to Gatto's head, gratifyingly, was easier on certain members of their party than it had been last time. Toby's training was garnering him new strength, dexterity, and stamina daily. Blinky felt so proud.

"Who has awakened Gatto?" the giant troll asked, opening his eyes and mouth.

Most of their party was prepared for the sheer scale of Gatto; Draal, however, took a step back in surprise, and Blinky clearly heard Douxie mutter "You've got to be kidding me."

"Greetings, Gatto!" Blinky said. "We have come to, ah, to..."

"To talk business!" Toby said, pulling out his amulet.

Gatto's fiery eyes widened. "A human Trollhunter. How interesting." One of his enslaved trolls trudged up, pushing a wheelbarrow of coal, and was eaten, wheelbarrow and all, before Blinky could even protest. "You must excuse me, I never talk business without something to eat," Gatto said, not even perturbed at having eaten a fellow sentient.

Blinky loathed trolls like Gatto.

"Yeah, me either," Toby said, plopping down and pulling a burrito out of his backpack.

He unwrapped it and took a bite even as Jim hissed, "Tobes, what are you doing?"

Toby held up a hand. "Hush, Jimbo," he said. "The grown-ups are talking business."

Jim's expression was indignant betrayal. "You're two months older than me," he grumbled, but nevertheless subsided.

"So," Toby said, looking back up at Gatto, "we're looking for the Gunmar's Birthstone."

Gatto laughed. "A very powerful item," he said. "Why should I give it to you?"

"Because we're going to destroy Gunmar," said Toby, seemingly unconcerned with Gatto's burning sulfur breath. "I mean, as bad guys go, he's so last season, you know?"

Gatto laughed again. "What is Gunmar to me?" he asked, dismissive.

Toby nodded at Jim. Jim looked back up at the mountainous troll. "What can we give you for it?" he asked.

"I like your little Trollhunter," Gatto said. "He has a good appetite. But," he said, destroying Blinky's momentary hopes that this time things might be easier, "in trade? You can answer me a little riddle."

Jim deflated. "Of course," he muttered.

"Answer it correctly, the Birthstone is yours," Gatto said. "Answer it incorrectly, I eat you all."

"Wonderful," muttered Archie.

"I hear humans have a gamey taste," Gatto said, and licked his lips.

"No wonder he's not concerned about Gunmar," Draal murmured. "They're two of a kind."

"All right." Toby rewrapped the rest of his burrito, stashed it back in his bag, and stood. "Let's have it, old man."

Thank the great heartstone, Gatto gave them the same riddle as last time. Claire smiled, cocked her hand on her hip and answered simply "Death."

"It could be 'time'," Archie suggested.

"No, trust me, it's death," Claire replied.

Gatto's face was astounded. "No one has ever answered that before." His expression shifted to malice. "...And lived to tell about it."

"Showtime," Toby said, even as Gatto's lackeys advanced on them, spades and axes at the ready. Draal pounded one fist into the other and grinned. Toby and Jim both pulled out their amulets, and said their incantations in concert.

Gatto's eyes widened. "Two Trollhunters?" he demanded, even as Jim and Toby allowed themselves to be separated, one being herded toward Gatto's mouth, the other away from it.

"Yeah, we're full of surprises," Jim said as Archie slipped into Douxie's half-open backpack, reached out a paw, and fished the zipper further closed.

"See you on the other side," Douxie said to the fighting retreat half of their party, who were already ringed around Claire. For her part, she was eyeing the axe nearest to herself, waiting to grab it.

Blue light bubbles surrounded Blinky, Toby, and Douxie as they disappeared down Gatto's gullet.


The spherical shields bounced down the tunnel like they were supposed to, rolled across a pool of lava and ultimately landed them all on a narrow platform beyond it. Douxie looked back at the troll who was already melting/being digested, and breathed a sigh of relief before dispelling the shields. "Fun part's done, Arch," he reported, standing and unzipping his pack. He was already sweating from the heat, but taking his hoodie off was not happening.

Archie slinked out and back onto his shoulder. "'Fun' is relative," the dragon reported, repositioning his glasses and accepting an enchanted facemask.

"That was so much easier than last time," Toby said as Douxie passed him a mask.

"Indeed. And less terrifying," Blinky agreed, affixing his own mask. "Now, to work!"

"Find something nice for yourself," Douxie told his familiar, already looking around the heaps of treasure. Following Jim's recounted directions, he started opening every chest he could find, searching, while Toby and Blinky dug for the Birthstone.

"I assume you'd prefer something not cursed?" Archie asked, taking a survey.

"It's your hoard, it's up to you," Douxie told him. Archie shifted form, and took to the air, searching.

Douxie finally opened the right trunk and found the Kairosect. He nabbed it, stuffing it into his bag just as Toby let out a cry of triumph. "Right where I remembered!"

"All right, put it in," Douxie said, offering forth his backpack. His attention was caught by what looked like a wall of potions. "We've got a few minutes. Anything else you want to grab?"

"Yeah, right. It could all be cursed," grumbled Toby.

Douxie rolled his eyes. "It's not like you have a wizard to check it over for you, or anything," he pointed out, making his way across the narrow bridge to the bottles.

Toby's eyes widened. "Yes! Avarice is mine!" he declared, and shed his armor. He stuffed the amulet into his pocket and began taking bags of tacos out of his own backpack, making room. "Blinky, grab what you want."

"My Roman penny!" Blinky crowed as Douxie reached the shelves then sagged, realizing the labels had all been worn away by time and the alchemical reactions of volcanic air and troll stomach acid fumes. They could be anything, and "anything" was not a useful label.

"Fuzzbuckets," he swore, and picked his way back to the main trove. Archie came swooping over, a crown on his head, several necklaces around his neck, and...

"Are those Elton John's sunglasses?" Douxie asked, taking them off his familiar and stashing them in his pack.

"No idea," Archie replied as Douxie packed away the rest of his treasures. "And even if they were, they're /mine/ now."

"Greedy dragon," Douxie said affectionately, giving his familiar a rub behind the ears.

"Nothing for you, Douxie?" Toby asked, standing and staggering back under the new weight of his backpack.

"Nothing I need," Douxie replied. But his voice died as he saw, buried under coins and gems, a dusty book with gilt on its cover. "This, however, might need a new home," he said, unearthing it.

"What is it?" Toby asked.

"No idea," Douxie replied, putting the book in his bag. "We'll find out later. Shall we be off?"

"Oh yeah." A floating crust of lava was drifting closer to them. Toby and Blinky scooped up the taco bags and hopped on. Douxie, less sanguine about it, but trusting their experience, stepped on as well. Archie landed, crouching at his feet.

"And here we go!" Blinky said, as he and Toby hurled taco bags one by one into the bubbling molten pool.

Gatto's stomach emptying itself apparently involved a waterslide ride, only a thousand times hotter and a million times more deadly than any waterslide on Earth. Blinky and Toby whooped it up; Douxie, now knowing more about troll digestive tracts than he'd ever wanted to, shielded them and just did his best to hang on.


Claire had already boarded the gyre, and Aaarrrgghh stood positioned by its wheel when Blinky, Toby, Douxie, and Archie came flying out the back door. Jim and Draal were waiting at the base of the gyre's stairs; Jim had Excalibur ready in hand.

Douxie beelined for him, like they'd planned, while the others all clambered onboard. Jim handed over his sword, keeping a wary eye on the lava rising from the Keep.

"Expiscor," the wizard said, both his eyes and the sword flashing blue. He stared unseeing along its length for a long, long second. Then he yanked his right sleeve up, very deliberately smeared his own blood across his palm, and drew his hand along the blade.

Jim stared.

"Occultare!" Douxie said. The blood on the blade glowed white, and disappeared. He dropped Excalibur back into Jim's waiting, fumbling hands.

Jim vanished the sword and they both scrambled up into the gyre. "Start it up, Aaarrrgghh!" Jim called. The Krubera gave the outer wheel a mighty heave, and swung himself up into the transport. Blinky slammed the controls and they all booked it out of Gatto's Keep just as the lava caught up with them.


Behind them, unseen, Gatto belched. "Wizards always give me heartburn," he complained.


"Not cursed, not cursed, cursed, not cursed..." Douxie counted out Blinky and Toby's treasure, separating the enchanted coins and gems into their own smaller pile that he'd have to examine in greater detail later.

"So." Jim plopped down beside him on the ground of their underground practice arena. "What'd you see?"

"Well, the Order's definitely got Arthur," Douxie replied, not stopping in his sort.

Jim sighed. "Not really a surprise, I guess."

"Sadly, no," Douxie agreed. "At least we know which direction to point Morgana in."

"Mmm," Jim said. He looked at Douxie's arm, now disinfected and swathed in white courtesy of one Doctor Barbara Lake. "You okay?"

"It hurts a bit, but you and I've both had far worse," Douxie replied, not meeting his eyes as he kept working.

"You're not going to tell him, are you?"

Now Douxie stopped and looked at Jim. "I would give far more than just a little blood for Archie," he said softly. "This is nothing, and certainly not done with intent. So, no, I'm not going to." And neither are you went unspoken.

"Okay," said Jim, holding his hands up, accepting. "Your blood, your choice."

"Think Arch and I'll sit out that trip to Florida, though, unless you really need us."

Jim considered, then shook his head. "I think we're good to deal with the Quagawumps. Should I ask what that bit was with smearing your blood all over my sword, though?"

Douxie gave him a lopsided grin. "Blood magic," he said in a tone that implied it should be obvious.

"That's a thing? A real thing?" Jim clarified.

"Mm-hmm. Doesn't work for everything, but sometimes it'll enhance a spell. And since I was bleeding anyway, I figured it was worth a go." There was nothing but good humor in his face or voice. "Blood freely given's a power of its own."

Jim had to ask. "And blood not freely given?"

"That's the side of magic I don't touch," Douxie said. He fished around in the heap before himself, and held up a ring that sparkled with emeralds. He smiled. "This one's got a love spell on it," he offered.

Jim considered Toby and his relationships. "Please don't give it to Tobes."

Douxie grinned. "Realizing already that love spells are nothing but trouble?" he asked. "That puts you ahead of at least thirty percent of the mages I've met, Jim."

"Only thirty percent?" joked Jim.

"Maybe forty."


Author's Note: Me: "What treasure should Archie steal from Gatto?" Wonderful Husband: "...Elton John's sunglasses?" Me: "Done." He also suggested Archie's alternate answer to Gatto's riddle. The book Blinky carved those words from is JRR Tolkien's The Fellowship of the Ring. Blinky also paraphrases the 1978 Superman film regarding statistics and the safest method of travel. And, as a side note, it felt really weird to write masks into this story, given that Tales of Arcadia happens in a world that doesn't have Covid-19. But I thought about it, and realized that when Douxie, Archie, and Draal were brought up to speed on what happened in Gatto's Keep the first time around, Douxie would have put his foot down because how could Blinky guarantee he was throwing the exact same combination of bottles as last time? And what if the results from an accidentally different combination were worse? So, he mandated enchanted masks for all four of them to rule out even the possibility.