8645a: The reason we know is the fact that there is a U2 Spy Plane in one of the Naval Air Base hangars!
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All told, this was not a good week for the SCIENCE!girls. There was still a faintly lingering scent of bleach around a 20-yard radius of their facility to neutralize the unbelievably godawful odor from their experimentation on stinkbombs, and they had temporarily been barred from any machine shops on account of their attempted mass production of 1000-round Nerf rifles. This, unfortunately, made for some fairly bored shipgirls. And as many admirals knew, bored shipgirls tended to get up to mischief more often that was strictly necessary.
An ominous black aircraft cuts through the air in the dead of night, two shipgirls sitting in a cockpit meant for one and bickering in hushed voices.
"I still can't believe you roped me into this! You realize our ass is grass if and when they find out?"
"To be fair, it's not like they'll miss one historical plane right? Poor old U-2's going into retirement in the near future, this could be our chance!"
Now why would USS South Dakota, and USS Phoenix (CL-46) be attempting to smuggle a Lockheed U-2 into a certain naval base as incognito as possible?
"Ow, ow, ow, is now a good time to make a 'reborn from the ashes' joke around you?" the battleship asked, groaning exasperatedly as she shifted in her seat, sandwiched between the seat and Phoenix. "SoDak please, we're doing them a favor!" The cruiser would grin, attempting to make herself as comfortable as possible atop her shipgirl seat while she flew the plane, trying to avoid hitting the ceiling with her head. "We can retool them, modify them to launch off carriers! Tada, increased reconnaissance in cases where space shipgirls have imaging difficulties." "I still think asking them would've been less dangerous for your health," South Dakota grumbled, rearranging herself in the sandwiched state as Phoenix began final descent. "Buncha skinflints wouldn't've given us so much as the schematics. Still banned from the machine shop, dammit!"
Coming in for the landing was the difficult part. "...I'm going to hope you have experience in landing a spyplane before, Phoenix." "...There's a first time for everything I guess." "...We're gonna die! We're gonna die and it'll wake everyone up!" "SoDak quiet I can't concentr- holy shit!" And much screaming was heard in the cockpit thereafter as the U-2 touched down. Phoenix slowly opened her eyes. "Ha...hahahaholy shit we did it! U-2, you are ours now baby!" "Great," South Dakota groaned, clutching at her chest as the ersatz pilot pulled into the hangar. "Let's blow this joint before I keel over from any further shock." And under her breath: "I am going to dissect every flippin' inch of you you lousy goddamn spyplane, stealing you was enough excitement for one night and it had better have been worth it."
"You look like the dead walking among the living," Graf Zeppelin mused the morning after, as South Dakota made her entrance into the mess hall. "Perhaps a brew of real German coffee is in order?" "That'll be nice, thank you," the battleship murmured, looking distinctly haggard as she shuffled off after the carrier.
"Rough night?"
"Like you wouldn't believe."
While the rest of the morning passed without incident, an unpleasant surprise was found tacked on the notice board shortly after 1300hrs:
8645: Who the hell stole one of the U2 Spy planes!
8645a: The reason we know is the fact that there is a U2 Spy Plane in one of the Naval Air Base hangars!
On seeing it, South Dakota took one look at Phoenix, who took one look at her in return. An inadvertent intense staredown ensued, and after half a minute of tension both of them spoke at precisely the same time.
"Bunker? Bunker."
It would seem that they would have to lie low and wait for the case to go cold. Soon to be retired or not, U-2s were pretty damn useful, and the agencies that used them did not like to see them go missing.
