Oh my God, you are. The impenetrable words stuck in Teddy's head, repeating in an incessant mantra. Over and over and over again. But the fact she hadn't mocked his inexperience was interesting.

"What do you mean by that?"

Elena Jr. clasped both her hands together. Not in nervousness, but apprehension.

"Men- especially from our generation- don't think twice before bedding women. Yet you have remained so pure and polite. How?"

Theodore drew in a ragged breath, running stiff fingers over soft velvet. The longer this conversation ensued, the more his lameness rung true.

"Well... Besides being completely isolated... Suppose I haven't thought about it."

Idly, Marion popped unbidden in Grey's mind. If he'd taken the annoying girl by every forced offer would they have already... Done things?

Still shocked by the revelation, Elena tucked a stray hair behind an ear.

"No porn? Sex stores... Didn't your parents ever take the route to teach intercourse through media or books? Almost every teen in America had to do it."

No. It was then Teddy realized their private school never had sex-ed. Damn. Here he stood, at twenty, being judged by someone more mature.

"Is that how you learned?"

Once again, the angel giggled, utterly drawn into herself.

"Not at all. Became briefed through my mother."

At a petrified stare, Elena backtracked.

"Geez. Always putting my foot in my mouth. Listen; if I hadn't been snooping, she wouldn't have willingly shared anything. Apparently back in her day, it was normal. She had several partners willing to undergo lessons. Though it merely started after her mom brought self-help books home."

What the hell. Self-help books? Lessons... This felt all so weird.

"So, Elena... Um... Sr... Eventually showed you-?"

That was all kinds of fucked up.

"No! Bless your heart no... I... There were diary entries and pictures and videos. Tons. Maybe I shouldn't have looked. It just introduced me to an entirely different world."

Hmm. Okay...

"So, what is finger play and DDSM?"

"BDSM. It's short for: bondage, Dominant, sadism, and masochism. Finger play... It's a bit tamer. Fisting is probably a foreign concept to you?"

Theodore's eyes widened dangerously. He had a feeling he didn't want to know...

"Yeah... Uh... Bondage...?"

"Would take more than an afternoon to explain. Though before you research it out of curiosity... Just know I do not practice without consent. My mother and I are polar opposites when it comes to sex. It's believed such activities were abusive."

"How?"

Elena Jr. sighed dramatically.

"If you intend to hog-tie and whip and make love to participants... You must do so with integrity. It's not meant to hurt but inspire respect."

Teddy barely had time to question those intimidating visions blaring through every brainwave before Pheobe blasted through the french doors. Like she knew they'd be here.

"Ms. Lincoln-"

"Hyde, actually."

A moment of silence passed before the youngest Grey corrected herself. Breathlessly.

"Yes... Ms... Hyde... I will see to it my brother is sought after. Elena Sr. has requested you at once."

The black-haired girl nodded. Then tipped her head towards Theodore in a gesture of farewell.

"I await your call. Find me online; everything will be laid out accordingly. The paparazzi make sure of that. Goodnight."

Unfortunately mere seconds after Elena Jr. disappeared Marion- certified stalker- made a drastic appearance:

"Ted! Who was that?"