AN: Insert I own zilch copypasta here

Location: The former Beast's forest, France. (Courier Six's POV)

Time: 11:55 (Twelve Hours before Shepard's Arrival.)


"That's the news, this is Mr. New Vegas, wishing you lady like luck, tonight. Here's Sons of the Pioneers, singing one of their classics for all those who are 'with the wild and the lonely.'' [OST BEGINS, He Walks with the Wild and The Lonely…]

After my little sob-story and House's update on Joshua and Raul, all of us split our separate ways to find Belle's Pa. Vito took his two pals from Empire Bay and Belle southwards from the castle, 3650 grabbed Wilson and Pyrrha up east to the nearest providence..

Me and ED-E? Both of us went to find our Ghoul Vaquero and Mormon Mummy. Sigh… after all this is over, I really have to visit my Mother and Father... I miss them s- I paused my inner thoughts when I noticed some entities appearing on my radar.


"Shit." I whispered to the eye-bot, "We got potential contact. Ed-E, can you get a sign of what the hell it is?" I asked the bot

"Unsure Beeping Noises" My trusty tin-can beeped back, whilst the both of us crouched behind a downed tree. Whilst crouched, I turned on my helmet's thermal to get a good indication of what the hell it is, I froze.

The thermals picked up two silhouettes. One horse and its rider. Before I could get the jump on him, a gunshot whizzed right over my helmet and a voice soon after.

"I know that spiked whore sent ye! Come on out slowly or so help me god I-" BANG! I jumped out of cover and shot the man's hat down before he could even continue.

I switched to my Night Vision for a better glance on what I got and was met with something I really should've regretted shooting at 'till now. It was Phillip. "YOU BASTARD! I'LL GET Y-" He was cut off again as ED-E Tazed him out. [OST END]


"ED-E WHAT THE FUCK!? DID YOU KILL HIM!?" I yelled, running towards the former Prince's body.

"Oh thank God." I sighed, "He's still breathing. Next time ED-E don't go tazing random Dis-"

"Phillip? Phillip where are… WHAT THE FUCK!?" A voice yelled, I turned around to see a young lady around the same age as Phillip aiming a Winchester-1894 at my head. "Oh! Uh… Shit. Lemme guess… Aurora?" I asked nervously, reaching down for my 1911. "Princess Aurora, and what did you do to my husband you fuc-" A familiar compatriot ran in front of her waving his arms

"WOAH AQUÍ MUJER LOCA, IT'S JUST MY BOSS! PUT THE GUN DOWN!" Raul yelled, then whined about his aching bones for running so fast.

"BUT HE-"

"Your husband's fine, Miss Rose…" Another voice intervened, this time coming from Joshua Graham. "The Eye-Bot simply knocked him out for a couple of minutes. He should wake up in about a minute or two…" He paused, then faced me. "I take it you got the call from Mr. House, Junior?"

"Mhm. Got the rest's wanderin' the woods. I take it you didn't find anything on her dad?" I replied, trying my best to ignore my old nickname given by my parents.

"We don't know, boss." Raul intervened, with a slightly more calmed down royal couple. "We did find out something else though you might want to hear."

"Hm? What'd that be?"

"Belle's Papa isn't the only one that disappeared without a trace. Several others have as well." Aurora exclaimed.

"...WHAT/SHOCKED BEEPING!?"


"I said the same thing, but it's true! Whilst on diplomatic travels, without my true loving husband sometimes" She sneeringly paused and gave Phillip a sharp glare before continuing, "I and many other dignitaries been noticing a massive spike in missing cases across most of Europe alone!" Aurora finished.

Now I've seen some instances of a dime a dozen shit stainers disappearing cough cough White Gloves. But this is concerning. After drowning in more scotch, I decided to conjure more info.

"What about in the States? Any missing reports there?" I questioned the 'princess' before Phillip intervened, "There's only one but knowin' how stories work in this fairytale bullshit world, [WILD WASTELAND] I'd initially thought it was the villains that did it." He answered, then went rummaging through his bag. "That was… Until I ran into five men in red football gear."


"Phillip... Did you say 'five men in red football gear?'" Joshua perked up, his blood running cold.

"Y-Yeah. Here's a piece of clothing I took from one for reference." Phillip answered, and I yanked the piece in question.

When I looked down, I froze. I slowly show the piece to Joshua and Raul, who also froze in anger at the piece.

It was shoddily made, had leather straps along the shoulders and chest. The cloth next to it… was a small flag like strip of red, with a Gold-Leaf Bull right in the middle.

"Is everything alright with you three?" Aurora asked politely.

"Besides the fact that a faction from our world named Caeser's Legion that's infamously known for slavery is here to carve Europe like the Ancient Romans? Nope!" I replied.

"WHAT!?" Both yelled.

"WHAT ARE WE GOING TO DO? ARE THEY IN CAHOOTS WITH THAT SPIKED WHORE? I'LL K-"

"WOAH THERE PHILLIP!" I interrupted, "We're not all fucked... Okay maybe we are but there's still hope. Let's go find a good base of operations, and go from there.. Got it?" The couple nodded. "Good. Let's get moving. Tired of all this sitting around." I announced back as we all started to tread our asses away from the palace towards finding a new hideout.


Location: Flower Field outside of Oxford, England. (POV Switch to Third Person)

Time: 10:55 (same time but an hour behind)

Around the same time outside of a certain famous rabbit hole, two figures are seen passed out under a tree. The first one's face is hidden by brown-ish hair mostly but the other is… Zach!?

"Ugh… Fucking hell where am I now?" He groaned, "Mike!? What the hell did you do n- WHY AM I IN MY UNDIES!? THIS IS REAL FUCKING FUNNY A-"

"mugh… Keep it down, Alice. I'm trying to sleep." a female voice interrupted Zach's ADHD scream to god and he turned to the source.

The second figure was to put it bluntly, a stunning Victorian woman. She had brunette colored hair tied up in a ponytail style and like Zach is in her lingerie with her chest (boobs included) fully exposed.

"What. The Actual Fuck. Happened Last Night?" He muttered, before he could get up the lady then yanked Zach and crashed her lips into his. "TREASURE PANDA SEND HELP NOW. PLEASE I BEG YOU."

When she pulled away and opened her blue eyes, they both froze… Until the lady starts to choke Zach, in retaliation he somehow pulls out a Mark 23 out of thin air at her head.


"WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU/WHO THE BLOODY HELL ARE YOU!?"

"I DON'T KNOW YOU BLOODY FIEND, BUT GET OFF OF ME AT ONCE OR I'LL HAVE YOU ARRESTED!"

"I HAVE THE ARSENAL OF GOD AN… OH YOU HAVE GOT TO BE FUCKING KIDDING ME" Zach screamed, as he lowered his gun to noticed a small ring around one of his hands.

"OH WHAT'S YOUR BLOODY PROBLEM NO- HUH!?" She fumed before gasping at another similar ring on her hand. She then turned to see Zach, laughing like a maniacal maniac to the sky screaming every swear word in the English language.


"I GOT SHOTGUN WEDDING'D BY A VICTORIAN CHICK!"

"NO YOU 'SHOTGUN WEDDING' ME! I- THIS IS- UGH! MY SISTER AND FAMILY IS GONNA DISGRACE ME TO HELL FOR THIS!" She exclaimed, panicking as if Nacnud would drag her to hell.

"WOAH THERE, LAD-"

"It's Lorina." She intervened.

"Wait a fucking minute. As in Lorina Liddell? I shotgun married Alice from her adventures in 'Wonderland's' SISTER!?" He asked, before wheezing again.

"WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS FAN FIC ANYMOR-"

"CAN WE JUST STOP WITH THE YELLING!?" The brunette, now called Lorina sneered. Zach only nodded and laid back down next to her


"So uh… I guess we got off on the wrong foot?"

"If you call getting hold at gunpoint by a German Mark 23 then y-"

"HOW THE FUCK DO YOU KNOW ABOUT GUNS!?" Zach interrupted, wide-eying at her knowing about Heckler and Koch.

"Yeah… We still have access to the real world through that bloody tunnel thing by Hollywood don't use it though, there's a lot of crack addicts living in it. And I sorta… Have a knack for guns?"

Lorina replied, before widening her eyes at whom she nearly choked to death "Wait. Are you Zach Hazard!?" She then squealed and started to crush the man in a deep hug.


"I'VE SORT OF HAD A CRUSH ON YOU FOR YEARS AND ENJOYED YOUR STORIES! OH THIS IS SUCH A DREAM COME TRUE!"

"That's awesome but I.. Can't… Breathe…" Zach wheezed, "Shit! S- Sorry…" The Victorian said, blushing a bit.

"Thanks crazy lady but uh… wow. That's a lot to take in and uh… You wanna just… Cuddle for a bit while I question everything that happened in the past few pages of this chapter [WILD WASTELAND] and investigate the Rabbit Hole there?" He replied as he pointed towards the hole in question.

"I'd love to… My love.." Lorina replied and then gave the crazy gun-nut another peck on the lips while the writer for this gets dragged out by Joshua Graham and gunned down by 50 rounds of .45 ACP.


AN: Before I go into notes on this chapter, I just want to thank the fine lads who are somehow sticking along this wild autismo ride. I question myself to god every day on what the fuck I should add next.

Anyways, LEGION BROS, WE'RE SO FUCKING BACK. For a while I didn't know what the hell I should write as a massive "threat", so I said fuck it and coupled the Legion and Disney Villains together. Now the burnt village in Mulan won't include any nods to Nipton too, right… R-Right?

Zach's Part is interesting. Yeah I know Zach ending up there was weird, but I wouldn't say it's that far off…

I'll write up an explanation in another chapter but basically, TL:DR Keith David Voodoo Man wanted to do a little trolling.

I also did it just as a nod to Zach actually getting married IRL. Yea our beloved ADHD man got hitched and honestly, wish the two the best! Even If I'm many months late. Got several plans for Wonderland and all I'll say.. Expect to see a little baby Hitler clone.

That's it for now, have a good one.