Even the strongest can fall.
Ichimatsu stood just outside the bathroom, his nose almost touching the door. With every gut clenching hurl that emitted from the room in front of him, a cold shudder seeped through his body. The sudden weight of realization and the overwhelming guilt of not noticing the signs sooner made him want to drop to his knees.
What do I do? He debated back and forth from knocking or waiting for Karamatsu to finish. He didn't know how to react. He couldn't even breath. The longer he waited however, the more painful it was to bear. Horrific versus's of retching and chucking gradually got worse and worse, and the sounds of crying and choking started to follow soon after each purge.
"Shittymatsu…?" Ichimatsu breathed out, finally exhaling.
He lost count at how many times he brought his hand up to the doorknob and then shamefully tugged it back down.
Oh my god what do I do? Ichimatsu wasn't the type to cry easily, but once panic begins to sink its teeth into him it was hard to hold anything back. He felt tears sting the corners of his eyes.
"Shittymatsu…" he tried to call out. Karamatsu didn't stop.
"Shitt- Karamatsu," a little louder and more firm this time, and then he heard something drop from inside. Karamatsu went dead silent.
Ichimatsu could only imagine the dread on his older brothers face knowing that he had just been caught. Neither of them knew what to say, but at least Karamatsu had stopped throwing up.
"I…..Ichimatsu?" Karamatsu choked out. He didn't answer. He could hear brothers breathing beginning to quicken, slowly turning into hyperventilation.
Ichimatsu was moving his mouth but nothing was coming out. His mouth was dry and it hurt to swallow.
"Could you...come out please?" He spoke low and carefully.
"Uhm….I…" Karamatsu couldn't even muster up the words. Harsh breathing turned into loud cries.
"Karamatsu, it's okay. It's okay." He gave the doorknob a quick twist, and as expected it was locked.
"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry," Karamatsu sobbed out. His words becoming indistinguishable the more he tried to speak over his wails.
Ichimatsu didn't know what to do, he was never the person on the other end of this. He'd always been the dependent one, so that when the time came for him to be that shoulder to cry on, he was completely useless.
He really couldn't do anything. He couldn't hug or rub Karamatsu's back. The only thing he could rely on was his words, which is what he was most horrible at.
He could call out to their parents, but the last thing Karamatsu needed was for more people to find out. It would be too overwhelming for him for it all to happen at once, and the only help they'd be would be taking him straight to the hospital. He needed to act fast.
Then Ichimatsu thought back on Chibita. He cleared his throat, pushing away his embarrassment.
"Let's go in the garden, you'll find something waiting. Right there where you left it lying upside down."
Chibita wasn't too good with words either, so instead whenever Ichimatsu would come to him for help, he'd have all his favourite things around him ready at his disposal. It helped Ichimatsu get through his breakdowns a little more easily.
"When you finally find it, you'll see how it's faded. The underside is lighter when you turn it around."
Karamatsu would always be singing this song whenever he was on the roof, so maybe it was his favourite. Ichimatsu had heard it enough times to fully memorize its lyrics and tune.
"Everything stays, right where you left it. Everything stays, but it still changes."
He was still crying, but Ichimatsu knew he was listening.
"Ever so slightly, daily and nightly. In little ways, everything stays."
Wailing turned into quiet sobs, and Karamatsu was no longer hyperventilating. Ichimatsu let out a stifled sigh of relief.
Although he could still hear whimpers and sniffling, Ichimatsu felt a little better.
Karamatsu unlocked the bathroom door.
I'm sorry these chapters are so short, I get bored easily when writing, and I really don't want to get bored when writing this.
