Author's Note
I do not own ASOIAF.
Jon has blood on his hands.
It's his blood, and he doesn't understand where it came from.
The thing that split him open is gone, and he doesn't know why or where or how.
Jon is lying in the snow.
He's on his back, and he doesn't understand when this happened.
His men are still screaming and shouting, but not at the dead creatures that were trying to rip them open, and Jon doesn't know what or why or whether he too should be afraid.
Jon is cold.
His cloak has torn and his doublet and undershirt shredded by the sword of the Other, and his blood is hissing as it meets the cold air.
He cannot force himself to breathe, and Jon doesn't know why or how or what to do.
Jon is dying.
Jon is dying, and he'll never see home again.
Jon is dying, and he'll never see Meera again.
Meera with her fierce grin and determination in her eyes, the strength on her face as she holds a spear, the way they fight together and around one another.
Jojen will return his bones to Winterfell, and Meera will have to watch as his mortal remains are entombed in the crypts.
The world twists around him. Jon screams, but the sound is all glass and ice and iron and dead wood.
"Jon!"
"Jon!"
"Jon?"
Arya.
He doesn't see her, but he hears her, her voice inside his head, and he must be going mad.
"Jon, I feel you! What's happening?"
"Ar-ya?"
"What's happening?" she cries again, but Jon can't breathe.
Jon can't breathe.
There's fire under his skin.
Jon can breathe, but he's huffing out smoke and ice and flames and steam.
"Jon!" Rickon wails.
"Help me!" Jon cries, grabbing for his siblings' voices in the dark.
"Jon!" It's Robb this time, all broken ice and wind. "What's happening to you?"
"I don't know!"
Jon tries to hold to their voices, but it hurts and they're spinning and spiralling and even as Robb snarls in frustration Jon fears him–
Jon has always feared his siblings.
Howland called them monsters of magic.
"Jon! Are you well?" Sansa asks.
"I'm on fire!" Jon screams.
"Where are you?"
"Beyond the Wall–"
The Wall, his siblings startle at once. The Wall is a place of magic; the Wall is why they keep being ripped away–
#
Jon has always feared his siblings.
#
"Jon! You're fighting against it!" Bran calls.
Bran.
Bran can be creepy and unnerving and odd, but Bran knows things. Bran must know what's wrong with him. Bran can help.
"Help me!" Jon screams.
"You have to accept the change!"
"The change into what?"
"You're like us!"
Jon has always feared his siblings.
Jon does not want to be like his siblings.
"He's not all Stark!" shouts his father – why can he hear his father, is he infected too – "He has Targaryen blood!"
"Targaryens have dragon's blood," says Robb.
(Jon, screams Arya)
"Targaryens have fire in their blood," says Sansa.
(Jon, screams Rickon)
"Targaryens have Targaryen magic," says Bran.
Jon is burning.
Jon does not want to be a monster.
"You won't be a monster! Hold onto the Stark connection!" shouts his father – but Jon never wanted to be a monster.
#
He remembers being small, wailing as Arya tears him open.
He remembers being smaller, sobbing as Sansa forced him to jump from the castle stairway.
He remembers being vulnerable as Robb's teeth find his neck.
#
Jon has always feared his siblings.
Jon finds the fire inside him and feeds it.
He'll burn the monsters from him, and then he'll be free.
Robb screams.
Sansa screams.
Arya screams.
Rickon screams.
Bran shouts, "Jon, no!"
His father howls–
The snow is cold–
Jon makes his fires burn hotter–
His skin is blackening and splitting open–
Jon has fire in his blood–
Jon is the fire, the dragon, flame made flesh, and the ice will bow to him.
The world is very, very quiet.
