A/N: This is a two parter one from the Sarah Jane adventures. I'm planning on doing another two parter from the show as well.
Thank you to everyone who has followed and favourited this story, it helps me to know people are enjoying it.
—
When Kathy returns, she puts all her energy into doing lots of things with Carlyle and Ashildr to help them after their loss. One of the brilliant ideas Kathy had was to take part in the 100 year war between England and France, which had begun in 1337 and will continue till 1453. To keep it entertaining they would swap sides and sometimes be on opposite sides. It probably doesn't sound that fun but when you are immortal, this is how you make fun for yourself.
It is after the end of the 100 year war, Kathy receives a visit from the Eleventh Doctor saying he had been failing at finding a good place for Amy and Rory to have their honeymoon and decided to come to ask her to see if she knows where they go. Kathy remembers he had once mentioned something about them being on a planet that itself is on a honeymoon as it married an asteroid.
Things go bad after dropping off Amy and Rory as the Doctor declared that they should go somewhere without telling Kathy where. He really should've told her as it end up that a rouge group of Shansheeth from the Sarah Jane Adventures had lured them to the Wasteland of the Crimson Heart, where they proceeded to steal the TARDIS, which leaves them stranded.
Kathy tells the Doctor that they need Clyde and then Jo and Sarah Jane to stop them and get the TARDIS back.
Thankfully the planet has lots of wreckage to build a space swapping doo-dah thingummy wotsit (as the Doctor calls it).
—
Eventually, the Doctor gets through. Well, Kathy assumes so as she can't hear the other side of the conversation but the Doctor can as he's begun the biological swap. "Of course I'm still alive, Jo. I thought that was obvious. Catch up." The Doctor says.
He continues after a pause. "Course it's not. It's me. I'm using Clyde as a receiver. I've keyed into his residual artron energy so I can organise a very complicated biological swap across ten thousand light years. Hold on."
The Doctor gives Clyde a big dose of artron energy, and it likely hurts. It doesn't work straight away.
"Ah! I've lost it." The Doctor grumbles.
"Doctor your hand!" Kathy says. One of the Doctor's hands is darker, just like how Clyde's was or is lighter.
The Doctor strengthens Clyde's artron energy and slowly begins to take over Clyde, which is interesting to watch from the other side.
Clyde then appears in front of her.
"Doctor? Doctor!" He yells.
"Hi Clyde!" Kathy greets. He spins around to look at her and blinks in surprise. She wonders if he's met her yet.
"Kathy!" Well, that answers that question. "Where am I?"
"Great question! Uh different planet. The Wasteland of the Crimson Heart to be more specific. Planet Earth is that way." She points over her shoulder. The machine starts beeping again and she turns back to it. "Ah no! God I need a sonic! Don't have the Doctor's either since they nicked it."
"What's going on?" Clyde asks her.
"Long story short. Shansheeth nicked the TARDIS after luring the Doctor and I here so he's been using your residual artron energy so he can do a biological swap across ten thousand light years." She explains before fiddling with some wires. Hopefully that fixes a few things.
"Right…" That explanation didn't seem to help much on Clyde's end.
"So how's school?" Kathy cheerfully asks. Clyde gives her a look.
"Bad time?"
Clyde raises an eyebrow. The device continues to beep.
"Sounds like a countdown." Clyde remarks but before Kathy can explain, he vanishes and the Doctor returns.
"Ah!" He cries.
"How's things?" Kathy casually asks.
"The Shansheeth tried to kill me!" The Doctor cries indignantly.
"So not too bad then."
"Why didn't you warn me?"
"Spoilers."
The Doctor groans and turns the device and jiggles it. "Come on, come on."
Kathy rocks back on forth on her feet as she watches the Doctor and Clyde swap again.
"No, no, no! Don't slow down. Take me back. Kathy?!" Clyde cries.
"Don't worry Clyde. You'll go back in a sec." Kathy reassures, patting him on the shoulder.
True to her word, Clyde disappears and is replaced by the Doctor, Jo Grant/Jones and Sarah Jane Smith.
"Hello!" Kathy says brightly. The two women look at her.
Sarah Jane smiles. "It's good to see you Kathy!" She gives Kathy a hug. Kathy meanwhile is trying not to have a meltdown over the fact that the Sarah Jane Smith is hugging her.
"Well nice to know I've met you as well." Kathy remarks as Sarah Jane lets her go.
"What?" Kathy looks at Jo, who had spoken.
Kathy goes over and holds out her hand. "I'm Kathy, 900 years old and part Human, Time Lord and Apalapucia as well as being from a different dimension. Nice to meet you Jo!"
Jo tentatively shakes her hand. "Um, yes nice to meet you too dear."
The device beeps loudly causing the Doctor to Fidel with it again. "No, no, no, no. Let's get you working properly. Stop."
"Yeah that's happening." Kathy says joining him. "I've tried my best to stabilise it but we need a sonic."
"That's why I've got these two." The Doctor says, pointing at the new strivers.
"I know that."
Said women then seem to take in what is front of them.
"Where are we?" Sarah Jane asks.
"The Wasteland of the Crimson Heart. Planet Earth's that way." The Doctor spins around and points behind them. "Bit of a long walk. Sonic, please."
They turn to look at where the Doctor had pointed.
"It's so many years since I was on another planet." Jo says as she gapes at what's in front of her.
"Me too." Sarah Jane murmurs.
—
The Doctor, Kathy and Sarah Jane are working on the device.
"There, and there." The Doctor points to where Sarah Jane needs to zap with her sonic lipstick.
"Did it hurt? I mean, the regeneration. That last body of yours, was he okay in the end?" Sarah Jane asks. Kathy goes back to wondering if she'll be there when it happens.
The Doctor doesn't answer for a moment and if she didn't know what happens, Kathy would've thought he'd brush past it, but answers quietly, "It always hurts. And there."
"So how did you end up in this place?" Sarah Jane asks, moving on. She stands and Kathy and the Doctor follow.
"The Shansheeth lured us. A mighty old battlefield, just begging to be explored. Because I'm travelling with Amy now. And Rory. They got married." The Doctor replies.
"We dropped them off at a honeymoon planet, though it's not a planet for a honeymoon, it's a planet on a honeymoon. It married an asteroid." Kathy continues.
"Then they nicked the TARDIS. The Shansheeth, not Amy and er," The Doctor hurriedly explains, "fortunately, we had all this wreckage to build a space swapping doo-dah thingummy wotsit."
"Very scientific name." Kathy jokes. Sarah Jane laughs.
"So, you've a married couple in the TARDIS." Jo pipes up cheerfully from her seat on a rock but Kathy can tell something else is there in her tone.
"Mister and Mrs Pond." The Doctor beams.
"I only left you because I got married. Did you think I was stupid?" Jo asks.
The Doctor turns to her in disbelief. "Why do you say that?"
"I was a bit dumb. Still am, I suppose."
"Now what in the world would make you think that, ever, ever, ever?" He walks over to her. Kathy watches them out of the corner of her eye as she and Sarah Jane continue on the device.
"We'd been travelling down the Amazon for months, and we reached a village in Cristalino, and it was the only place in thousands of miles that had a telephone, so I called you." The Doctor sits next to her. "I just wanted to say hello. And they told me that you'd left, left UNIT, never came back. So I waited and waited, because you said you'd see me again. You did, I asked you and you said yes. You promised. So I thought, one day, I'd hear that sound, Deep in the jungle, I'd hear that funny wheezing noise, and a big blue box right in the middle of the rainforest. You see, he wouldn't just leave. Not forever. Not me. I've waited my whole silly life."
"But you're an idiot." The Doctor tells her.
"Well, there we have it." Jo laughs tearfully.
"No, but don't you see? How could I ever find you? You've spent the past forty years living in huts, climbing up trees, tearing down barricades. You've done everything from flying kites on Kilimanjaro to sailing down the Yangtze in a tea chest. Not even the TARDIS could pin you down."
Jo gapes at him in disbelief. "Hold on. I did sail down the Yangtze in a tea chest. How did you know?"
The Doctor simply smiles as he says, "And that family. All seven kids, twelve grandchildren, thirteenth on his way. He's dyslexic but that'll be fine. Great swimmer."
"So you've been watching me all this time?"
"No." The Doctor replies. "Because you're right, I don't look back. I can't. But the last time I was dying, I looked back on all of you. Every single one. And I was so proud."
"It really is you, isn't it?" Jo remarks.
"Hello."
"Sorry," Sarah Jane interrupts, "but we've got that lot back at home with the Shansheeth."
Kathy remembers that the kids get trapped and heated so they need to hurry.
"Yes, yes." The Doctor stands walking back over. "And I still need you, Jo. Now, that bag of yours, I can smell blackcurrant. Is it buchu oil?"
Jo brings out a jar from her bag. Kathy finds it funny that she would just have that on her. "Hand-picked in Mozambique."
"Oh, perfect. These circuits need connectivity. Wonderful. Little tiddly drop. That's it." The Doctor puts some on the device. "What a team."
Kathy puts up a hand. "High five!" The others reciprocated.
Now that they have the connectivity, there only needs to be a bit more fiddling before they are ready.
"There. That should work. Intergalactic molecular streaming, with just a hint of blackcurrant. The Doctor steps back and they begin taking each other's hands.
"But what'll happen to Clyde?" Sarah Jane asks.
"No, no, no, I've fixed it. All we needed was you two. Oil and sonic. Now we can go back and Clyde can stay where he is. Hold tight." The Doctor explains.
—
Clyde yelling, "Get us out of here. Doctor! Kathy!", from the direction of a grate is the first thing Kathy hears as the four of them land in a corridor in the UNIT base.
"Then again, maybe leaving Clyde in the same place wasn't such a good idea." The Doctor mutters, crouching by the grate.
"Look out, stand back." Sarah Jane sonics off the grill.
"Ah! Ventilation shafts. That takes me back." The Doctor nudges Sarah Jane.
"Or even forwards." Kathy comments.
The Doctor clambers in with Kathy getting in after him though regretful once greeted with the view she gets.
"Hurry up. We're getting boiled alive." Clyde yells.
"Hold on. We're coming." The Doctor calls. He and Kathy move forward.
"Don't worry, Santiago, I'm here." Jo yells.
After a moment, Kathy hears Sarah Jane yell, "Doctor! Kathy!"
Kathy's eyes widen. How could she forget that this is the point that the Shansheeth grab Jo and Sarah Jane?!
"Jo? Sarah?" The Doctor calls.
"They're roasting us." Clyde yells.
"Let us out!" Rani yells.
"Sarah. Argh!" The Doctor cries frustratedly.
"We've got to get the kids. They are priority right now. Sarah Jane and Jo will be fine." Kathy tells him. They continue forward down the shaft.
The Doctor fiddles with wires. "And release." Another door opens to reveal a Groske, Clyde, Rani and Jo's grandson, Santiago.
"Blimey." Clyde comments as soon as he sees the Doctor. "You really have changed faces, haven't you? I couldn't see you before, I was too busy swapping."
"Oi, we're still cooking back here." Rani huffs.
"Where's my gran?" Santiago asks.
"Yeah she's in danger so we've got to get moving!" Kathy calls, trying to poke her head around the Doctor as best she can.
"Yes we'd better er." The Doctor shuffles about realising he can't turn. "Can't turn round."
"You'll have to shuffle backwards." Clyde says.
"Oh, yes, okay. Thank you, Clyde."
Kathy begins shuffling back with the Doctor doing the same and the kids and Groske get in the shaft and follow.
Clyde begins his questions. "Even your eyes are different. It's weird, cos I thought the eyes would stay the same. Can you change colour or are you always white?"
"I could be anything."
"And is there a limit? How many times can you change?"
"Five hundred and seven." 5+0+7=12, everyone.
"Oh!"
—
They reach the room where they can hear the hum of the Memory Weave.
"They've started." The Doctor says. "They've sealed it off."
"Jo, Sarah Jane, can you hear us?" Kathy tries to call to them. Maybe she should have done more to stop this? Though she remembers that she can only be in so many places at once and things happen with or without her.
"They want the key. They've got the TARDIS, and a Memory Weave." Sarah Jane yells to them though it is faint.
"Try to find a way in." The Doctor darts away to fiddle with the control unit and the panel on it that sits next to the door. The kids rush forward to try – Santiago with the Groske to the door while Rani fiddles the keypad. Kathy goes with Clyde to grab some stuff to bang the door down though she knows it won't work.
She returns along with Clyde to see the Doctor by the door yelling, "I've got the original here. You can have it if you let them go."
It is difficult to hear what's being said in the room but it is clear that they don't want them in when the door remains shut. The Doctor goes back to the control unit.
Kathy and Clyde try hitting the steel doors with fire extinguishers.
"It's not shifting." Clyde cries. "What do we do, Doctor? Kathy? What do we do?"
"We need to make them remember." Kathy states. She hadn't wanted to do this as it will going to kill the others in the room but they weren't giving them much choice and they can't get in any other way.
"Remember? How will that help?!" Clyde exclaims.
"No, we make them remember too much." Kathy explains though the others still look confused but the Doctor gets it.
"Yes!" He leaps up and starts tapping on the panel. "The Shansheeth are making them remember so we do the same. Opening comms. Sarah, Jo, can you hear me?"
"The key, it's almost ready." Sarah Jane yells but this time it is clearer.
"Listen to us, both of you. We want you to remember." Kathy says.
"We are doing. That's the trouble." Jo cries. The Groske goes to the control unit.
"No, no, no, no." The Doctor dismisses. "I want you to remember everything. Every single day with me. Every single second."
"What's he doing?" Karim, the dodgy UNIT agent, questions from inside the room.
"Because your memories are more powerful than anything else on this planet. Just think of it. Remember it. But properly. Properly. Give the Memory Weave everything. Every planet, every face, every madman, every loss, every sunset, every scent, every terror, every joy, every Doctor. Every me."
"I remember." Sarah Jane announces.
"No!" Karim wails.
"Memory Weave overloading." Says an automated voice.
"I remember." Jo parrots.
"We need that key. What is happening? What's happening?" Karim demands.
"Initial target lost."
"The device is overloading. Too many memories. Too many." The Shansheeth observe. Kathy can hear the memory weave begin to self-destruct.
"Reverse it. Bring that key back." Karim orders.
Kathy turns to the three kids. "You lot can help as well. Tell them about all your different adventures!" They run up to the door.
"Think of us, Sarah Jane. Remember Maria and her dad, and all the stuff we did, like the Gorgon." Clyde prompts.
"And the clowns, and the zodiac. And the Mona Lisa." Rani adds.
"All of it. All of it."
"Just think, Gran. All the countries you've been to." Santiago prompts.
"Every country in the world."
"Weave starting to self-destruct." The computer says and Kathy can hear lots of small explosions happening inside.
"It's blown a circuit." Sarah Jane yells.
"I can't get out." Jo cries. Kathy listens anxiously.
"I've got you."
"Now we're in trouble. The Weave's going to blow up and we can't get them out." The Doctor says.
"What?" Rani utters.
"Can't escape." Kathy murmurs.
"I need the key." A Shansheeth whines from inside.
"Weave now entering detonation phase."
"I can't unseal the doors. The power line is gone. Argh!" Karim cries.
Kathy can hear Sarah Jane trying to use her sonic lipstick on the door but failing. "We've drained it. Doctor? Doctor, I can't get out."
The Doctor, along with Kathy, yanks on the door trying to open it. "I can't open it."
"No sonic screwdriver." Sarah Jane states rather than asks.
"It's inside the TARDIS." Kathy tells them.
"And we can't get in, because guess what? We stopped ourselves getting the key. Oh, that was clever." Sarah Jane says sarcastically.
"Get in the coffin!" Kathy says before there are any goodbyes as she doesn't want to risk the chance that they don't realise in time or they have less time than they did in the show.
"What?" Jo blurts out. "No, uh Doctor, I just want to say—"
"No, no, no, no, she's right. My funeral. Don't you see? It's my funeral." The Doctor interrupts.
"With a lead-lined coffin!" Jo and Sarah Jane exclaim.
"How much time have they got?" Kathy asks the Groske.
"Big bang, 30 seconds." The Groske replies. Kathy is relieved that they've got more time this time.
"Come on." The Doctor urges and they all take cover behind the control unit except the Groske who stands there counting down.
"Total destruction imminent." The automated voice tells them.
"Hurry up, Gran." Santiago calls.
The Groske begins counting from 10. "Ten, nine eight."
"Five, four, three, two." The Groske moves from the front of the door, which is a good thing as the fireball caused by the explosion blows the doors off.
They all get up coughing through the smoke.
"What do you mean, the Mona Lisa?" The Doctor asks Rani.
"Loved that episode. Still do even though I'm not a kid anymore." Kathy remarks as they walk into the room.
Rani blinks at her. "How old is she?" She asks the Doctor.
"Right now? About 900." The Doctor replies.
"Smells like roast chicken." The Groske comments. Kathy cringes at the comment.
"Now then. Smith and Jones." The Doctor opens the coffin lid to find the two women hugging each other. "The coffin was the trap. The coffin was the solution." The two in the coffin start giggling in relief. "That's so neat, I could write a thesis. Come on then, you two. Out you get."
Their laughter causes the rest of them to start chuckling.
—
"Whoa. It's Bannerman Road. It's like everything moved. I'm never getting used to that." Clyde says stepping out of the TARDIS and into the attic in Sarah Jane's house.
"Mister Smith, you're in big trouble. Those Shansheeth were bad." Rani admonishes to the very large computer in the wall.
"It transpires that you encountered a rogue element, and the Wide Wing of the High Shansheeth Nest sends apologies." Mr Smith replies. Kathy stares from around Santiago at him in barely contained excitement
"No way. On top of everything else, you've got a talking computer? That is it. I'm giving up." Santiago comments stepping out of the TARDIS. The two other kids laugh.
Kathy takes her chance to step out of the room. "Oh my god this the attic. The attic! With Mr Smith!" She bounces on her toes in excitement as her eyes take in everything around her.
"Hello Kathy." Mr Smith says causing Kathy's eyes to bug out.
"How do know so much?" Clyde asks. "You never said."
"Didn't I?"
"No." Rani tells her.
"Oh." Hmmm… got to note that down. "Well basically I'm from a different dimension where all of this was a Tv show before I died and was reborn into this world." The three kids stare at her.
"Oh, cool." Clyde comments.
"I seriously give up." Santiago says causing them all to laugh.
—
Kathy steps back into the TARDIS to find the Doctor laughing with Sarah Jane and Jo. They turn to leave and spot her.
"Goodbye then." Kathy greets them.
Jo grabs her and pulls her into a hug before pulling back and grabbing her by her face. "Oh you're lovely you are!"
Kathy laughs. "Thanks."
Sarah Jane chuckles before giving a hug of her own. "It's lovely to see you Kathy." She pulls back. "You have so much to do."
"I look forward to it." Kathy replies. The two women leave and Kathy turns to the Doctor and goes over to him by the console.
"Back to where you were?" The Doctor asks smiling though somewhat sadly. Kathy feels bad but knows she must go.
"Yes I think so." Kathy agrees. The Doctor sets the coordinates and they are on their way.
"Ah but first…" The Doctor grabs something and hands out to her an object, which she realises is a sonic. "For you."
Her?! Kathy grabs the sonic and analyses it in her hands. It's like the current version for this Doctor but red. "A sonic for me?"
The Doctor nods. "Thought you should have one and you told me you didn't have one until now."
Kathy wraps him a hug and he chuckles. "Thank you."
