-Here I am again, though not too much I can think to say at the moment other than read and enjoy!-
Time seemed to freeze in that moment. Not instantaneously, but gradually slow to a crawl, then stop. The chirping of evening insects couldn't even be heard anymore. Everything was at a standstill in that moment. Lydia stood there, eyes widened in shock, and... other feelings.
"What... did you say...?" she managed. There was no way she heard that correctly. So many things she'd experienced so recently to challenge her beliefs, but this certainly could not be one of them!
"I said... I was a bandit..." Siffre said, quietly. Her thane did not return her look with an equal one of her own. Instead, her eyes grew more downcast, saddened even, from this revelation. Her left hand released its hold on the great-sword, letting the tip drop and be buried slightly into the dirt ground, "I never... I never wanted anyone to know... You're the only one who does..." Lydia was vaguely aware that her left hand was gripping her shield's handle a little tightly.
"You... you're really saying you were a bandit...?" she spoke low, "Someone who preys on the innocent for little more than personal gain...?"
"Lydia-" Siffre started, but stopped herself short, "I... I'd be willing to explain... if you'd hear-" The sound of metal clanking to the ground. In a single rush of motion, Lydia had launched her own open hands forward to grip the metallic edges of Siffre's steel armored breastplate. In keeping her momentum, she moved her straight back until her back was shoved straight back up against the cloth walls of the nearby tent. Though not through the cloth, as a hard, supporting pillar of wood could be felt against her back. On instinct, her hands rushed up to lightly grip the harder gripping hands of her housecarl. As for Lydia herself, Siffre was forced to looked directly at her face, her eyes positively glowing with anger.
"Just what kind of sick, sick joke do the Gods themselves think they are playing...?!" she spoke, her tone a little bit louder and poignant than before, but still carrying its dangerous edge, "My whole life I have lived one of decency, honor, and well-being, in service to those of equal moral standing! Now not only am I not to be that for my Jarl, but to someone who's a criminal!?"
"Lydia! Please stop-!" Siffre protested, vibrations from her voice feeling heavier at such close range. Her hands by now were gripping Lydia's harder. But they weren't trying to force her hands off of her, either that or Lydia was maintaining her tight grip on Siffre's armor even still.
"Just how many people have YOU killed, my 'thane'? How many innocents-"
"Lydia stop! I don't want to f-FUS-!" A smaller scale of rushing air burst forward, not nearly as powerful as the Thu'um uttered earlier today. But for both Lydia and Siffre, this might as well have been the most deafening a Shout that had ever been uttered, close-range notwithstanding.
Lydia broke her hands away from her death-grip on Siffre's armor as she jumped back. She was only lightly staggered from just how close the sound eruption happened so closely before her, her ears heavily ringing. Did... did that just happen? Did she just endure the legendary Thu'um itself, at such close range? Were she not worked up from anger just now, she might have been impressed with herself, as well as shaken with a little fear...
Speaking of fear, before her Siffre's hands were clamped tightly over her mouth, her eyes widened in absolute terror. They were staring off in Lydia's general direction, but not directly 'at' her. She held that staring direction for a solid handful of minutes, to the point where it felt like she was avoiding looking directly at her on purpose. She could barely hear the sound of her breathing; she was taking dreadfully shallow breaths from underneath her trembling hands.
"Did... was that..." Lydia spoke. The sound of her own voice combined with with the ringing was all she could hear at the moment. And yet, from the smallest crack in between Siffre's fingers, she could just barely see her lips twitching as if she'd spoken something just now. She didn't feel any vibrations at all; must have been something softly spoken, "W-what?"
"I... I am so sorry..." she could hear her speak louder. The ringing in her ears persisted, but thankfully seemed to be lessening by the minute, "I didn't... I don't even know how that... I wasn't trying to-" Her rambling trailed off as she looked back at Lydia, "Did I... hurt you?"
The fear that still gripped her face was still present. It also appeared... sincere. How her hands were trembling above her mouth, her eyes still not looking directly at her, even her feet were shifting from place to place every so often. These were traits that a truly remorseful person would show. And that was the most baffling part of all this...
Bandits and killers don't show remorse. Not that Lydia's seen anyway...
"I... believe you," Lydia spoke. The ringing in her ears could still be felt, and she unintentionally had her voice raised a little higher than what was intended. This was noted by the light wince seen on Siffre's face in response. Thus she spoke again, purposefully lowering her tone, "I believe that... you weren't trying to hurt me."
"Th-thank you..." Siffre said, "I don't know how that happened! It's like it just... came out! Like a hiccup or something..." A hiccup? What a strange thing compare the almighty Thu'um of the ages to!
"Still, you'd Shouted right in front of me," Lydia said, rubbing one of her ears, "That... blast was so powerful..."
"But not something I meant... at all. I was trying to say that... I didn't want to 'fight' you, but somehow I'd said... that word...?" Siffre said, then gave a hefty sigh, "This Voice... Sometimes life felt easier... when I couldn't talk."
"You couldn't talk before... I assume before you came to Skyrim?" Lydia asked. Siffre looked at her for a moment, yet still nodded in response, "I, ah... I still have to know... what was this life you had before... before I first saw you? You said you came from Cyrodiil?"
"I... I'm from there, yes..." Siffre said with a sigh, "I was... part of a group, of six others..."
"Six other bandits?" Siffre shot her a look, but still sighed.
"Yes... a group with two Nords, the rest Imperials," Siffre said, "I told you that I... I lived outside of Bruma? Well... that's not completely wrong... it's where we operated out of..." Siffre fidgeted with one of her gloves for a second before continuing, "We did raid travelers for... mostly foods; valuables at times... Then we'd quickly move to a new location... helped avoid being tracked..."
"And yet, something did happen...?" Siffre nodded.
"The last raid attempt... it had an armed patrol," Siffre's eyes relaxed slightly as they looked outward, staring into the horizon of the night sky, "Too many to fight off, and... we were massacred. I was lucky to escape, but they knew who I was by face; I was hunted... I couldn't remain in hiding there anymore, and everyone else was killed... So I ran..." She looked down, "I ran deeper into the Jerrall Mountains to try and lose them... and at some point I realized I'd crossed over into Skyrim. I thought my luck had turned... until I was captured... along with those Stormcloaks. Everything I had on me was taken... as they took us all to... to... Helgen..." Siffre hesitated when mentioning that place.
"Helgen..." Lydia repeated.
"Yes..." Siffre replied, shaking her head just as quickly, "I managed to escape there... somehow... You know, it's a huge miracle that I somehow even did... Sometimes I wonder if... if I even should have; was this the Gods' cruel way of punishing me for the life I'd led...?"
"And yet, you still survived, and escaped," Lydia said, earning a nod from her thane.
"I did, but... I had nothing," she said, "Everything taken from me- destroyed. I had no weapons, no armor, no money, nothing... I was alone, in a different province..."
"But when I first met you, you had indeed found something," Lydia clarified, "You had armor, a sword and shield, and some kind of 'stone'...?"
"Oh, that's right..." Siffre said, as if reminded of something she had forgotten, "I had made my way upwards, hoping to find something, anything... until I stumbled into an old ruin- Bleak Falls Barrow..." Siffre gritted her teeth as she recounted, "Unbelievable... Seems I had a habit of escaping certain death from one place, only to immediately find it again in another..." Lydia's head tilted as she raised an eyebrow.
"I'd heard of that place, it's an old Nordic Ruin..." she said, "You went 'inside' it? They're usually filled with traps, and-"
"I didn't have much choice," Siffre cut in, "I had to take shelter somewhere, and... I was lucky some bandits were already there, but had long been dead... It was from them I'd gotten that old armor, sword, shield... I had found all those things, as well as that stone somehow... yet none had money... It's why I was hoping to... to sell the stone to someone for a quick passage to somewhere... anywhere far away really... And after I got out of that damned place, Whiterun was the first place I could see..."
Lydia had listened to this tale being recounted to her. Her once initial anger she'd felt at the beginning had now simmered down considerably. Siffre here had been part of a bandit group, perhaps highwaymen, which probably claimed who knows how many lives. Just the simple fact that they'd harassed travelers, essentially robbing them of their own gains...
And despite that, in the entire time that she had come to know her... not one instance about her demonstrated ill intent towards anyone around her. Quite the opposite; she actually felt like she felt the need to.. involve herself, in ways that were actually beneficial to others. That's what the truly baffling part about all this was! This simply didn't make sense... and she was determined to make sense of this.
"So... answer me this then," she said, "You came to Whiterun to sell off that stone for money for passage out of Skyrim, right?" Siffre nodded, "And, that was around the same time that dragon attacked the western watchtower... So then, why the change in motive? It seems to me like that would've been perfect cover for you to slip away, unnoticed."
"Oh, um..." Siffre said. This must have been an important question, as she was in deep thought as she hesitated, "Well... That was actually... I'd intended to do just that..." Lydia narrowed her eyes, and Siffre quickly picked up on that by wincing lightly, "When Jarl Balgruuf said I had to fight the dragon, I... I was terrified! 'I had more experience'? Just because I was there that didn't mean-" Her voice gradually began to raise, along with the vibrations as she quickly shook her head, "And, you're right... it would've been perfect cover, while the dragon had been focused on... well, not me, and I could slip away..." Siffre paused to take a sharp inhale of breath, followed by a smooth exhale, while sparing a glance at Lydia. The housecarl continued to listen intently. Things were starting to come together, if little by little...
"However... when we were out there, and that dragon had appeared... something happened, or changed? I'm not sure," Siffre said, "It was around when... when the dragon fell down, and landed right before you... I saw you attack it, but... it bit your sword to pieces, and nearly killed you... I... It's hard to explain, but it's like my body just... moved on its own! I saw you in danger and about to be killed, and... I had to rush in to stop it!" Lydia drew in breath sharply as a gasp.
"To... save me?" she asked, lightly flushing, "L-like I'm some sort of damsel, or civilian in danger? But why? I was the same one that had nearly punched you the first time I'd talked to you! Why would you have felt the need to save me-?"
"Again, I don't know!" Siffre pressed, light vibrations being carried on the wind, "I wondered the same thing myself- why...? But it was after that moment, as well as killing that dragon... Everything changed for me. I felt... a new purpose in life; like something about me I never even knew was there, but had to know more about..." Her gaze drifted down as she placed a hand to her chest, "My whole life... I've never been able to speak... It was like some kind of barrier, but... a barrier in my mind, stopping me... But now, ever since I discovered this Voice... I don't feel any barriers anymore... like they're... broken!" Her hand lowered from her chest, and she looked back at Lydia, "But now... now you see why someone like me... is willing to at least hear out once-criminals who seek... better lives for themselves...?"
Lydia let out a soft exhale of breath. Having listened to this entire tale laid out before her, Siffre essentially bearing her soul to her, it was a lot to take in and process. A part of her still could not feel some sort of... challenge to her personal views. Her own life she had lived by a certain code, one that emphasized that Lords and civilians of a city were innocent, and bandits of all kinds that lived outside of civilization were of evil varieties. As housecarl, and even before that a guardswoman of Whiterun, she had always upheld that sense of duty as a part of her very life: punish the wicked, and protect the innocent. It was a life that ranged from tedium to life-threatening danger depending on circumstances, but at the end of the day, Lydia was more than happy with how things appeared to be for her. There was a sense of... stability, in how things were for her.
And one woman managed to single-handedly challenge her views.
And the fact that she wasn't proficient with general speech wasn't even that much of an issue anymore. She could remember feeling slightly offended herself by it at first during their initial meeting. But now, that seemed minor and trivial compared to what she now knew. Siffre, her thane, her charge, the Dragonborn of song and legend itself... had a criminal past! A common highwayman bandit, holding up innocent travelers for their own valuables, under threat of them losing their lives?! This was the sort of people whom she felt pride in for riding her hold of! So what exactly was it, if anything, that made her different from them...?
She looked her thane in the eyes again. There were very small, barely noticeable bags underneath them. Even from the sleep she knew she had gotten recently, they must not be easy to get rid of. But like before, those same eyes still held that same amount of... regret, within them. Was it regret? Or was it perhaps a sense of not feeling very prideful for one's self? In the past, from the bandits she had been dispatched to deal with, she remembered looking into their eyes, and identifying different feelings just from the eyes alone. They were desperate, anger-filled, spiteful, but more often then not- prideful. They displayed great pride in what they were, and probably displayed that same amount when carrying out their selfish task of terrorizing unsuspecting travelers. That same level of pride she'd come to recognize in others... she could not see in Siffre's eyes.
That would lead to something very important to ask...
"You know... I'd grown up all my life serving Whiterun and its hold, whether at first during my time as a guardswoman, to later on as a housecarl..." she spoke softly, almost deliberately matching the same tone that Siffre would tend to use, "I had lived not only as a loyal servant of Jarl Balgruuf, but also as a guardian to his people. They were precious in his eyes, they still are, and serve as symbols of purity, innocence, and the general good of people all around..." She met Siffre's eyes again, "A great servant of the people. I suppose in many ways... you being a Dragonborn isn't that much different, is it?"
"Hm? What do you mean...?"
"You were told it was your 'destiny' or something, not simply to just slay these dragons, but protect people from them?" Siffre gently nodded, "Then my point exactly..." She paused for a second, mostly to allow her eyes to narrow at her, "Which is why I have to know now... Do you regret the things you did as a bandit?" Siffre's head gave a tiny recoil to the question, and her mouth cracked open, but she hesitated. Or rather, she deliberately paused as she thought a response over in her head.
"I... I never made a point to... to kill, needlessly..." Siffre said, "Most in my group did, but not me... I never wanted to."
"But I assume your group still took lives? Innocent lives?" Lydia pressed.
"I-I can tell what you're... getting at, and..." Siffre sighed, "Members of my group did take lives, and... I stood idly by and allowed it to happen... That is what I do regret..." She glanced back up at Lydia, "But those same people I was once a part of? Dead... So... would it have been better if I had as well? Is that what you're getting at?" This time was Lydia's turn to pull her head back slightly in mild surprise. A part of her was hoping that Siffre would say something to confirm her preconception of repentant, but that last part caught her off-guard.
"Well, no, I wouldn't say that exactly..." Lydia said. She gently reached her arm forward towards Siffre. Her thane saw this gesture and prepared to recoil, but quickly calmed herself upon realizing that a hand was simply being placed on her shoulder, and nothing more, "I guess what I would say is... This whole 'destiny' thing of you being Dragonborn? It's a complete second chance for you... Live this new life protecting others instead of hurting them, if you're really serious about turning your own life around..." The two women were closer together now, and Siffre could see Lydia's face in clearer detail. Gone were those anger filled eyes she'd first seen when she'd grabbed her the first time. Replacing them were reassuring eyes, as well as a gentle smile. It was the same face of a friend; the same face Lydia had when the two of them had shook hands in the Bannered Mare. She found herself nodding at the friendly sight.
"Thank you, Lydia... for understanding," she said, "But... while this does apply to me... what about when it comes to others? The whole thing involving people like Illia...?" Lydia took her hand away, and her friendly smile dropped a little as she moved a few steps away again.
"That... well..." she said, "You have to understand, your safety is my top priority. And I guess by extension- 'our' safety..." She paused, looking away as she scratched the back of her head, "But... I suppose what you told me just now... it does add some... 'unique' perspective to those sorts of dilemmas..."
"So then, you would understand? If this were to happen again with someone else..?" Siffre asked with a raised eyebrow.
"I'd... be willing to... listen to your judgement first, if that's alright?" the housecarl asked. Siffre nodded again, returning a smile of her own.
"Thank you, Lydia... that's good to hear..." she said. Casually she looked up at the sky, as if noticing it for the first time in a while, "Oh, night time...? Have we been out here for so long...?" In response, Lydia looked around as well. Sure enough, night had indeed fallen. The world around them was bathed in the gentle, orange-yellow glow of the still burning candles. She was also acutely aware of the sound of crickets chirping again in the air... as well as something buzzing? She looked over to the ground a few feet away from them, and was instantly reminded of the bloodied corpse of Sylvia. It lay on the ground, a massive pool of blood forming around it, with flies beginning to move in.
Her nose wrinkled in disgust, "Ugh, I would say we should leave this place about now, Siffre..." The Dragonborn was reminded of the body as well, and her face frowned in disgust as well.
"I agree... but first..." a gesturing hand directed their attention to the 'spoils tent', "Let's check in the tent; see what else was in there..." Lydia moved with haste, if only to move further away from the body she was reminded of. She and Siffre moved to the front of the tent and looked at what lay inside. Aside from the crumpled, empty scabbard that held the great-sword in Siffre's hands, various other articles of apparel could be seen, such as boots, tunics, trousers, foot-wraps. Siffre reached down for the scabbard itself and picked it up. The strap that wrapped around the front of the body looked sturdy still, as did the main sheathe. It appeared to have seen some action, yet not enough for it to have worn down terribly. Wiping off the last bit of blood from the long blade, Siffre slid it into the tight leather, then placed it around her body so that it now hung off of her back. Lydia couldn't help but notice the slight smile that suddenly appeared upon beholding this new blade upon her back.
"I guess you were right- great-swords must be your specialty," she said, recalling an earlier conversation with her. Siffre nodded, then looked back to the tent's pile of goods. There was nothing left in here except for clothing. Most of it was for men, and what little women's apparel there was seemed to be torn too much...
"Huh...?" Something caught Siffre's eye. She reached into the pile of drab, mismatched colored clothing to pull out something rather gray, as well as metallic. Before the two of them she held a sturdy steel mace. It was in perfect condition, having never seen combat a day in its life.
"A mace?" Lydia said, "I guess it's not so strange a thing to find here..." She held a hand out towards it, "Here, let me carry it."
"Huh? Are you sure...?" Siffre asked with a tilted head and raised eyebrow.
"It's no burden, my thane. I'm fine with carrying it..."
"Um, alright..." Siffre handed the mace to her housecarl, "But, why take that? And... what of all of this...?"
"Most of these clothes look too tattered and ripped anyway..." Lydia leaned in to inspect the apparel pile closer, "But this mace, it's brand new; we could fetch a fair price for it at a trader, or even a smithy."
"Oh yeah... I guess that's true..." Siffre agreed. She spared a few glances all around at their position, "Maybe we should also leave here...?"
"Yes, I very much agree; I'd rather not rest in a place that witches lived in, living or not..." Lydia followed Siffre as she stepped out and away from the tent, "But the question is, where are we now?"
"These walls around us... they're broken down; we could just leave through them..." Siffre said as she moved towards one of the broken sections.
"But we still don't know where we are!" Lydia reminded as she followed after her, "What were we even doing before this little detour...?" With Siffre going first, the two women squeezed their way past a sizable hole in the stone wall, emerging from the outside. On the other side was no longer the glow from nearby candles. Instead the world before them was only bathed in the glow of white light of the moon from above. With this light, they could see the natural landscape they now stood before.
Illia was correct, the landmass they stood upon rose a great distance above the world below them. From where they stood, a simple yet careful downward walk would take them back to where the road was.
"There, down there...!" Siffre pointed out. In the night, another glow of light could be seen a considerable distance away. There was a large body of water, the moons' reflection helping in spotting it easier, with another stone wall encircling a settlement right next to it.
"Is that... That's Riften, it has to be!" Lydia quickly realized.
"You're sure?"
"What else could it be?" Lydia said, "I once heard that the Rift's capital city lay next to some water- Lake Honnrich I think it was?"
"Well then, let's get down there..." Siffre said.
"We'll have to walk down this steep hillside to get to that road below, be careful my thane..." Lydia said, walking forward and beginning her careful descent down the side. Siffre followed her lead and her example down the hillside after her, the road below their new destination which would lead them to Riften.
Illia dodged and weaved between trees of the forest, frantic and panicked breathing escaping her mouth as she ran. She didn't even bother to look back behind her; escaping from that tower was one thing, but that whole ordeal with that Lydia woman only made things unnecessarily complicated. It didn't matter where she was running towards, as long as she was putting as much distance between herself and that tower. At night when there was none of the sun's light to show off the warm colors of the trees, they seemed to glow in different shades of blue instead. There may have been an upper canopy of leaves to shield against most of the moonlight above, but there was still enough for her to see where she was going. Deeper into the forest, where no sort of stone could be seen anywhere.
Finally, after what felt like an eternity of running, she forced herself to stop to catch her breath. She held a hand against a nearby tree and bent forward, her other hand pressed against her chest as she breathed hard. Just a quick moment, she really needed to catch her breath...
How long had she been running? Five minutes? Maybe longer? When her breathing slowed down a bit, she finally looked back and over her shoulder. All that could be seen was the dark, thick of the forest she had ran into. Darklight Tower was no where in sight, not even as a silhouette against the night sky.
"Huff... I think... I'm clear now..." she said to herself. She pulled herself upright and her hand away from the tree, "Now... where am I...?" For the first time since her 'escape', she was able to take the time to truly study where she was. The forest she stood in was dark, and the air had light mist to it. Natural light from the moons above was barely able to shine through the trees' leaves that sheltered the world below. Illia listened in closer, but the most sounds she could hear were the chirping of insects and distant hoots from owls.
She shivered, both from unease as well as a chill in the air she hadn't noticed before. She couldn't stay here; she had to find warmth or shelter somewhere! But... where could she go? All around her were nothing but trees, bathed in creepy darkness. And this cold that was starting to creep in... The Tower certainly kept her warm from cold-
"No, no-no-no...!" Illia quickly shook her head from such thoughts, "I am NOT going back there...!" After all the effort she'd gone through to get away from there, going back was not an option. That was also including the fact that Lydia woman could still be there. Even after all that, how honest she'd been, and her still not believing her? No way she could stand being near her again. She held her head facing forward, finding lost resolve. The only way she could proceed was forward; which meant finding someplace to take shelter...
Looking around before her, she gasped lightly as she spotted something: a set of large rocks jutting out of the ground. One of them was curved inward so that a large, opened base could be seen; possibly large enough to fit a person? But... what if it had something in it already, like insects, or...
"Grrr, I should be fine... I find something in there I'll just freeze it..." she said to herself, frustration in her voice. She made her way over to the space, picking up the pace as she drew closer to it. There was just enough moonlight to peer inside; nothing immediately came to view, and nothing could be heard either. This should've been reassuring, but Illia could only feel anxiety building up instead. She cautiously raised a hand up, charged with ice into a spike, and quickly shot it forward and inside. Almost immediately, the ice could be heard shattering against something. It didn't sound like anything soft, but from the way it shattered, more like against something hard. The inner walls of this space? That did make things a little better; perhaps there was nothing in there after all.
Slowly, she ducked down and pulled herself into the space, letting the darkness embrace her as well. She sat and huddled herself against the back of the back wall, wrapping her arms around her folded in legs. It barely was good enough to ward off the chill, but it was enough. As she sat in the dark, her mind wandered over future possibilities. Now that she was finally free, where was she to go? Where could she go? One of the cities? Riften was not too far from where the tower was, with a distant view of it from above the risen landmass. There could be better places to sleep there, or even...
No, no that couldn't work. She was a witch for Julianos' sake! If that alone didn't give her away, the obvious black robes associated with necromancy she was still wearing certainly would. She'd be lucky if the guards didn't cut her down at first glance. It was still a miracle she was still alive after her encounter with those two-
GROWLLLL-!
She looked down at herself with a frown; perfect, just perfect. When was the last time she had eaten something? This morning? Just that bit of bread and cheese, but nothing else today. This would have to be remedied somehow, and quick.
"My pouch, maybe there's something in..." she said to herself which reaching her left hand into her side satchel. Her fingers fished around until she pulled forth the first thing from within. It felt small and... spindly. Was it food? No, it was that sample of Red Mountain Flower she'd found this morning. She remembered she picked this one due to how fat it appeared to have grown. At the time it's properties could've yielded Vedina a more potent effect for potions, but... as something edible?
"Oh curse it...!" Illia said with a small groan. Her stomach beginning to hurt would be calling this decision for her. She broke pieces of the petals from the base plant, crushed them in between her fingers, and slipped them in her mouth. A horrid, bitter taste immediately assaulted her senses and she almost spit it out, but she held back her disgust to allow herself to chew. She was hungry, but satisfying it would have to come before actual taste in this matter. She finally swallowed the food substitute, where she could feel it meet her stomach from within.
"Ugh, revolting..." she said, while still proceeding to grind up the next bite, "Is this really my life from now on? All alone, hiding under some dark rock, eating flowers just to survive...?" Her eyes cast back out into the night's starry night, in the direction she was almost certain Darklight Tower was, "At least... At least then I had a roof over my head... I had food... a place to sleep..." So many simple pleasures that looking back now, she quickly realized were things that were taken for granted. Those were all basic necessities to keep her safe, keep her alive... even company to keep her from being alone.
A frown quickly grew on her face as she remembered the 'specific' company; Movera, always putting her down, making her feel worthless. Her other sisters weren't much better, like Iera and Hesta, always quick to take Movera's side when it came to her tormenting. Vedina wasn't nearly as bad, but that was probably because she strove to stay out of such petty squabbles altogether.
And of course Sylvia, the one mage whom she'd feared and admired her whole life, to the point she gave her the role of 'mother'. There were even times when she... cared for her, like an actual mother would! She helped her with the practice of her own ice spells, concentration on magicka reserves when using wards! Moments like those felt like she had actual worth in her eyes! What all of it was actually genuine? And what of it was completely false?
Yet another memory flash of the travelers' being brought in a sacrifices was plenty answer that she needed. The constant reminder of their faces right before they'd met their doom weighed on her mind, gnawed at her conscience...
"Ergh! Enough of these thoughts-!" she shook her head hard. Constantly thinking back on her now former life would do her no good. She was done with all that, if thanks to the rather unorthodox methods and timely arrival of those two random warriors. The likes of which she was certain she'd never see again, not that she was eager to...
She placed another piece of ground up Red Mountain Flower petals in her mouth. This time the taste didn't seem so horridly bitter as before. Or, was she just getting used to the taste? Regardless, a quick look at the base plant in her hand reminded her that it was in fact running smaller with each consumption. Her heart sank a little as the realization hit her: she'd have to find more food.
"Am I... going to have to... 'hunt' for food?" she said to herself, "Like those Nord hunters have been said to do out in these wilds...?" A quick glance down at her empty hand was plenty reminder of her dismal situation: a runaway mage with no food being forced to hunt for her own...
"I'll... I'll think about all that tomorrow..." Illia said, stifling a yawn in between her thoughts. She placed the remains of the Red Mountain plant back in her pouch, dusting her hands off in the process. Her back leaned up against the back wall, her legs huddled up and curled close to her chest, and her head resting upon them with her arms wrapping around? It was a crude way to sleep, but at least she didn't feel too chilly anymore. Maybe she could actually get some sleep this way. She closed her eyes, and tried her best to sleep, letting her mind empty itself of the burdens of the future's uncertainty...
-Regarding whether or not Darklight Tower is in actual visual range of Riften in the game, I took some artistic liberties in that regard. But it is true how when you'd reach the top of the tower there'd be a this like hill of land that a stone walkway stretches out towards. But anyway, probably just a minor thing; as usual, read, review, and I'll try to be back soon!-
