Please see my notes below. Dumbledore and Ron are not nice in this story. There is rape mentioned as well as pregnancy and abortion.

TITLE: I Turned Myself To Face Me

AUTHOR: Susan / apckrfan

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DISTRIBUTION: My site, AO3, FFnet, LiveJournal.

DISCLAIMER: I don't own any characters. They are owned by JK Rowling, Scholastic, Warner Brothers, Roderick Thorp, Jeb Stuart, Steven E. de Souza, FOX, etc. No profit is made from this fic.

RATING: FRT

SPOILERS: All of Harry Potter and through Die Hard of those films, but this is not only AU but canon divergent (SS is Hans Gruber and SS lives).

SUMMARY: Needing Severus out of the public eye for a while after Voldemort's defeat in 1981. People were calling for him to be imprisoned, or worse killed. They didn't understand what being a spy meant. So Albus lends him out to the International Security Alliance (ISA) (yes, I'm borrowing a fictional agency from Days Of Our Lives, I'm also borrowing a hugely secondary character in Emilio Ramirez's father if you're familiar with 80s Days) via a recommendation by Britain's DMLE. This is NOT a crossover with Days otherwise in any way, shape, or form. There he finds himself assigned to infiltrate various criminal organizations around the world. As such, Severus Snape as Hans Gruber earns himself quite the reputation in the muggle criminal world, unbeknownst to anyone in the wizarding world. Except Albus Dumbledore. Little does Severus realize Dumbledore is setting Severus up to continue on his dark path, so that he would have no soul left to be recognized by his soul mate. This leads to the infamous Nakatomi Plaza debacle where Hans Gruber was hoping he'd be able to ride off into the sunset with 640 million in bearer bonds. Now as a result, presumed dead, Severus Snape can't show his face among muggles for fear of being recognized from that incident and must return to Hogwarts, just in time for Albus to prepare him for the arrival of Harry Potter without his insurance policy. And is once again convinced Severus is his man. Or so Severus thinks.

CHARACTERS/PAIRING: Hermione Granger/Severus Snape (eventually)

DATE STARTED: July 2022

STATUS: Complete

WORD COUNT: 35,900 +/-

FEEDBACK: Please, I can't write better without it.

NOTES: I originally had this idea, but couldn't quite justify Hans Gruber murdering people in Die Hard and getting away with it and then deserving a relationship or any form of happy ending let alone a soul mate. I don't do unhappy endings, ambiguous or open-ended maybe. So, I ended up writing It Always Goes To Shit instead, where Hans and Severus are twins. However, I decided to try to tackle this idea and see if I could make it so that Severus deserves a second chance. I think I succeeded. And the soul mark part was important in this story, as you'll see in the first chapter. I'm playing footloose and fancy free with regard to some things in Die Hard universe obviously in order to accommodate Severus being someone's soul mate.

NOTES2: Albus and Ron are not very nice in this story. I don't usually bash Ron (much), but the story called for it. Hermione was raped at Malfoy Manor. This is not described in detail, but it does come into play as she discovers she's pregnant and contemplates terminating the pregnancy.

NOTES3: I have deeply embellished on what we know about Lucy McClane.

NOTES4: I have not rehashed every moment of either war. Just presume most of them happened the way we know.

WARNING: Again, as stated in Note 2 - some Albus Dumbledore & Ron Weasley bashing. Off-screen rape, not described in detail, but does result in a pregnancy where Hermione contemplates (and does) terminating it.

*Chapter One*

September 19, 1979

Severus Snape groaned, waking with a start.

He opened one eye, though he sensed that he was alone.

Something had woken him, though.

He and Master Chapleau had been up. Merlin. Only two hours ago now, working on a large potion order he owed a local apothecary. At least his alarm clock said it had been only two hours ago. It was a muggle wind-up one, so it shouldn't be affected by magic to where it would short out or anything.

The soft ticking sound it emitted told him that he had, in fact, wound it prior to going to sleep. So, it was accurate.

Over a year into his apprenticeship now he knew he was where he was supposed to be. Learning what he could to be a great potion master. He remembered how frustrated he'd been the first five or six months here because Master Chapleau would not allow Severus anywhere near the more advanced potions that he made and sold. About the past four or five months or so, though, they'd worked together. The past month or so, no corrections or additional instructions had been levied against him about his finished potions. Not that there'd been many critiques offered prior to the past month. Still, though, it was nice not to receive negative feedback.

Something was … different.

He picked up his wand, casting a lumos as he glanced around his meager quarters located on his master's property. Some of his associates seemed to think he should be insulted that he wasn't staying in Master Chapleau's home. The Dark Lord had taken him aside, privately, his first time back in Britain after he'd started his apprenticeship, wanting to make sure he was being treated properly. So, evidently word had gotten back to him, too, that some thought a death eater, an important one at that, deserved better.

Severus didn't take offense to it.

At all.

He liked having his own space, even if it was on the small side. He had very few personal things to make it anything more than a temporary place for him to sleep until he was done with his apprenticeship. He made that abundantly clear to the Dark Lord, citing years of living amongst others at Hogwarts as his reason for welcoming the solitude of living alone.

Nothing in his small bedroom looked different.

"Revelio," he whispered, just in case.

Still nothing.

So what had woken him up?

He listened.

No sounds in the small home, that was really little more than a cottage. He canceled the lumos, setting his wand down on his nightstand that had seen better days. No doubt, several apprentices before Severus had set their wand on it over the years. He closed his eyes, and listened for a while.

Ensured there was nothing amiss in his dwelling, he turned his querying to himself. Years of being under Poppy's care from various mishaps (some his fault, some not), he had gotten very adept at analyzing his body, how it felt, and, most importantly, if there was something off.

He detected nothing off, but picked up his wand again, casting a diagnostic.

Nothing amiss.

He breathed a sigh of relief, setting his wand down again, certain it was little more than a bad dream that had woken him up. To say he had fodder for plenty of bad dreams was an understatement.

One last minute to listen again, ensuring there wasn't anything wrong before he drifted back to sleep. He was too exhausted from over twenty-four hours of brewing with little more than a meal break or two, so didn't have the desire to get up and actually search the premises.

He didn't think anyone would come here to mess with him anyway. He had the Dark Lord's favor and ear. He was one of a few who had that to the extent he did. They wouldn't dare.

XvXvXv

Albus arched his brow as he shut the book depicting records of magical births. It was an ancient and well-used book that all headmasters of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry treated carefully, not wanting the centuries' old record of magical births to be destroyed on their watch.

The book had been glowing when he arrived in his office to start his day.

A new muggleborn witch had joined the mortal coil sometime this morning before he woke, Hermione Jean Granger. He certainly hoped by the time she was of the age to join them at Hogwarts that there would be some semblance of peace so that she could safely join them.

At this rate, well, he couldn't say he was certain that would be the case. The Minister for Magic hadn't broached the subject yet of closing off access of Hogwarts to muggleborns. Albus was bracing for that possibility, though.

Twelve years wasn't that long when it got down to it.

The arched brow was directed at the other registry he had that alerted him to a new entry as well. The one used far less often. In fact, he couldn't recall the last time it had glowed, indicating a new entry had been made.

He retrieved it, blowing the dust off of the top and cover before opening the antiquated book. He was unsurprised to see the name of the newborn muggleborn witch at the bottom of the current page. There had been no other magical births today for it to be anyone but young Miss Granger. At least not yet. The book couldn't recognize someone who hadn't been born yet.

So, she had a soul mate. That was interesting. Especially in this wartorn magical world right now. Not that he knew the hows and whys of soul mates being chosen for one another. Born after the first of September, he truly had no idea who her classmates would consist of. The only other magical birth this September had been a female as well, so likely not her soul mate. (He'd never seen a same-sex couple listed as soul mates. He imagined, in part, it was the wizarding world's attempt at not becoming extinct. And, yet, he truly did not know.)

The soul mate in question, though, gave Albus Dumbledore great pause.

It had to be a mistake.

Didn't it?

Never mind the age difference. Wizarding folk could live to two hundred, or longer.

What kind of witch would be mated with someone like him?

No, no.

This was not right.

This was no good.

He would do whatever he could to stop this from happening.

He would not allow that wizard to do with another witch what Albus was sure he would have done with Lily Evans, if he'd had the opportunity. He'd put an end to that friendship as quickly as he could, though the witch had been a bit stubborn about seeing the path Severus was heading down. Eventually, though, his efforts had worked, and she'd cut off ties with the wizard.

Albus had no doubt he would have corrupted that innocent muggleborn witch, a witch who didn't know about the things others raised with magic did, if that friendship had continued.

Who would have thought James Potter, of all people, would act to save the wizard. That was … unfortunate.

XvXvXv

December, 1981

"Thank you for coming in, Severus," Minister Millicent Bagnold said from the seat behind her desk as he chose the empty seat next to the headmaster.

He hadn't had much choice in showing up today. He'd been holed up in hiding at his home in Cokeworth for the past few weeks, per Dumbledore's instructions. It was either to show up here or, likely, be given the Kiss.

Or, worse, imprisoned at Azkaban without the Kiss. (Yes, to Severus' mind, that would be worse.)

He didn't say that, of course. Likely the headmaster had an inkling as to what his spy was thinking. Severus wasn't looking at him, though, so he didn't know for certain.

"Of course, Minister," he replied.

He might not understand why he was here, but he was well aware he wasn't out of the woods when it came to possibly ending up in Azkaban. So being polite to their leader seemed a wise course of action.

"Albus has filled me in on your role for the past fifteen months or so. He maintains the war might not be over if it weren't for your contributions."

"I'm glad that my information was valuable, Madam Minister," he said.

It was a short and concise answer, but she wasn't fishing for accolades. She likely mentioned it to preface the reason for today's meeting. Dumbledore hadn't told Severus much of anything he'd offered him had been helpful, let alone important.

"He also believes it is imperative for your safety, as well as any possible future … intelligence gathering needs, that you remain out of sight for a while."

He did?

He hadn't told him that. Not that Severus was surprised that was true. He was more than just fairly certain that there were a great many things Albus Dumbledore hadn't shared with Severus.

What did that mean?

The Minster for Magic offered him a bit of a smile. Severus found it hard to believe it was … sincere. More likely, she realized Dumbledore hadn't told him any such thing, so knew Severus was taken by surprise. Severus didn't like being taken by surprise. Until today, he hadn't said more than two words to the Minister for Magic, but if the headmaster had filled her in, she would no doubt know he didn't like surprises.

Or anything remotely resembling them.

"I was approached recently by a representative of the International Security Alliance. They are looking for someone with deep undercover experience, which Albus indicates you've exhibited."

Okay. That hadn't been what he was expecting.

"The timing couldn't be more perfect, and is the reason you're here today. On paper, no one would know whether Severus Snape is alive or dead. Myself and the headmaster would be the only ones in the magical world with that information. Your handler, a muggle named," she paused here, shifting through some papers on her desk. "Monty Dolan would be the only other one. You would leave here today, and Severus Snape would formally be declared missing. Not dead, missing. No charges would be brought against you."

That explained his being allowed to floo directly into the waiting area outside of the Minister for Magic's office. That was a privilege very few had.

He arched an eyebrow at that bit.

No charges?

Dumbledore hadn't been able to guarantee him anything beyond "I'll fight for your freedom for your brave display in aiding the Order's cause". He'd assumed the headmaster wasn't sincere, truthfully. He'd fucked up, big time. No charges had not been on his mind when he turned. His freedom, avoiding Azkaban, while a perk, wasn't why he turned spy.

"What's the catch?" he asked. There had to be something. Some hoop they were going to have him jump through. He truly never envisioned he'd get out of things with no charges at all being brought against him.

He willingly joined Voldemort and took the Dark Mark. He quickly learned, once he'd gotten the damned Mark, that there was a … darker, more sinister portion to Voldemort's plan. At first he'd relished in being a part of it, even if he found some of the activities distasteful. (It wasn't just the criminal activities either.) Here were people who welcomed and, overall, accepted him, something he'd never experienced before. He was one of the ones chosen to have access to knowledge. What could be wrong about that?

He truly came to regret joining the group well before the Potters died and his first master had been defeated.

He couldn't leave, though, and there were … some benefits. That didn't mean he'd joined to exterminate muggles. He had no love for his father, but without him he wouldn't be here.

He assumed he'd found a society of like-minded individuals who sought knowledge of all things magical, not just the lessons taught at Hogwarts. To Severus' mind, that was where true power came from: books and knowledge. (Knowledge didn't come exclusively from books, but had certainly aided Severus over the years.)

He thought it was a group of witches and wizards who wanted the wizarding world to remain … pure. For the Statute to remain in place. For the … dunderheads to be unable to marry and procreate with someone not able to see what that would produce. He had no interest in living as a muggle, and did believe that the Statute was important.

He'd wanted friends. Conversation. Yes, okay, parties with good food and drink were pleasing, too. Those were things he never imagined being included in. Not as a Snape. He knew his station in the wizarding world. The stature that came from his gaining recognition amongst Voldemort's followers wasn't unwelcome either. He'd never felt … appreciated or admired in his life.

That it came with punishment was undesirable, but he'd grown up with punishments so it wasn't anything he couldn't suffer through.

He hadn't expected … violence. Raping. Murder. Bloodthirst. He just hadn't. He wasn't stupid, but sure felt gullible when he'd been accepted and seen what the whole truth was. That it took him a while to turn to the headmaster after he realized the truth? Well, that was on him. However, he had neither raped nor murdered anyone. Ever. The fact that he hadn't acted, or reported the crimes?

That was also on him. Dumbledore told him spies had to do unsavory things in the name of keeping their cover.

Toeing a fine line, he knew, and perhaps an odd hill to choose to stand, and possibly die, on, but that was not what he thought magic was for.

"There isn't one, other than you would be unable to have contact with anyone in the magical world, except Albus, until we believe it's safe. Even I won't have a record of your meetings. If something happens to me, Albus will bring you back when it's appropriate, and inform the current Minister. Albus will have no direct knowledge of your actual location," she said, offering Severus a … sincere-seeming smile. As if she knew or suspected things Severus didn't know about. She wasn't saying what that was, apparently. He got the impression from the way this last bullet point of this plan was stated, that this was her idea and not the headmaster's. "Once Mr. Dolan believes you have acclimated to your position, he will set up a meeting between you and Albus. From there, you can arrange your own, infrequent, meetings to keep abreast on your possible return."

No contact was not a hardship. He had no friends. The few that he considered friends were in, or on their way, to Azkaban. Or busy doing what they could to talk (bribe) their way out of a prison sentence and a certain Kiss sentence. Most wouldn't talk to him right now, even if they could.

Honestly, they weren't really friends. Three or so years ago, he believed them to be. He knew now that they were, in some ways, worse than the people who openly loathed him.

The infrequent meetings, no doubt, were to ensure that Severus wasn't doing anything he shouldn't do. A way for Albus Dumbledore to keep his finger in the pie that was his spy's life.

A few seconds later, almost as if he'd been signaled, a tall and slender but slightly muscularly-built man who looked as if he might be of Spanish or Hispanic descent walked into the room. This stood out to him because when he first started primary school, his teacher had been curious if she pronounced his name correctly. (Both of them.) She'd apparently assumed it was something exotic to go with his dark hair and eyes. (He thought now that was ridiculous, as if he was the only dark haired and eyed boy in Cokeworth.) He was a bit older than Severus based on appearance. His face was likely a handsome one once upon a time, but was weathered now. Stress? Exposure to the elements? Overindulgence in food and drink? All of the above? Who knew. His hair was dark with a bit of wave in it and, while worn long, was obviously thinning. Severus presumed the length was his attempt at … disguising that fact. His father did the same thing.

"Mr. Dolan," Minister Bagnold said, standing and offering the man her hand. The man took it, not seeming at all put out to have to shake a woman's hand in a professional capacity. He was maybe five inches shorter than Severus. Upon closer inspection, the thinning hair was already on the way to actual balding in a couple of spots. This close, too, Severus was able to see that his eyes were a vivid green. He also had what were obviously pock marks on his face in addition to the weathered look. Acne, or the muggle chicken pox, was most likely the cause, Severus mused. He had a diamond stud earring in his left ear. No wedding band adorned his left ring finger, but a nice muggle watch was fastened around his left wrist. He smelled strongly of aftershave. The kind his father bought at the corner store, thinking it was quality because of the price tag.

"Nice to see you again, Minister."

He turned his attention to Severus then, offering his hand to him. "You must be Severus Snape."

"I am," he said, taking the offered hand.

"Albus and I will leave you two to talk for a moment. Severus, I hope you'll consider this offer," the Minister for Magic said, stepping to this side of her desk. "We want you safe, and I can think of no better way of seeing that happen than you disappearing for a while."

The Minister for Magic and Headmaster of Hogwarts left the room.

"You work for the ISA," Severus asked.

He'd heard of the ISA. He wasn't sure whether what he'd heard was true or not. It seemed almost like a mixture of the UK's MI-6, America's FBI, Interpol, and other agencies like them. From what he heard. Like most clandestine organizations, little was truly known.

"Yes, Mr. Snape, and I think you will fit right in for the assignment I have in mind. It will be long-term, which your Minister for Magic thought would be best. The initial target, job rather, would be in America, to pique the interest of our desired target for you to infiltrate: Volksfrei. There's a company rumored to be on the market to sell some trade secrets. We do not want them getting into the wrong hands, but if you get them instead of Voksfrei, you will be on their radar. We want you to be a buyer. And we want you to gain a reputation in the criminal world. The Volksfrei will come to you, we're certain of it."

He opened a brown leather briefcase and pulled out a manila envelope.

"Here is a breakdown of your proposed salary. The permanent living arrangements you will be provided with, not in America. It is furnished and modern, but we would reimburse you for changes, within reason. A new couch, yes. An entire new kitchen, likely not. Provisions for additions to your wardrobe would be allowed as well, given you've lived primarily among the wizarding world since you were eighteen."

Severus looked through the pages. He would be based out of Germany, it seemed. Merely in America short-term to conclude this business deal, and begin to establish his reputation. His cover of being someone to go to when looking to sell trade secrets. Obviously, they were hoping this would lead to other cases worked by this German criminal.

The wage was … impressive. He could refurbish his home on Spinner's End. Hell, he could tear it down and build a new home more conducive to his needs in the future than when it was originally built decades ago. He knew how to live meagerly.

"Obviously you'd have an expense account while you travel," he continued, as if he'd given Severus time to give the proposed wage its full attention. "You'd leave with me today. If there is something essential you need from your home, we could get it. Again, within reason. It's best little that could identify you be brought with you. Otherwise, we would start training tomorrow. We would advise avoiding a place like your home where others may see you."

"In Germany? The training, I mean?"

"Yes, we would fly there, and I would stay with you until you are ready to be an active agent."

"Fine. There is nothing I need from my home," he stated, which he realized would likely sound pathetic to this man.

Then maybe not. He didn't strike Severus as very cultured or much above his own social standing. (The whiff of aftershave that just assaulted his nose again drove that point home.) So, maybe he'd dropped everything for a chance at a better life than the one he was leading before entering the ISA, too.

Too, he didn't need anything from his home because he'd spent the last little while he was to stay out of view cleaning. And throwing. Both of his parents kept things that just didn't need to be kept.

One thing he had found in his garage he cleaned up and did his best to make it look like new? The old wagon his mom and dad had pulled him in when he was a boy. Why they kept it once he got too big for it, he wasn't sure. Why he decided to keep it himself instead of selling it, he wasn't sure about either.

Proof his parents hadn't been complete failures?

Saving it for his own child one day? Just because Lily hadn't worked out as he had hoped, didn't mean he wouldn't find another witch.

The fact he hadn't yet made him a little melancholy as he'd cleaned up that old wagon. Clean it up he had though, and it looked as good as new, in his opinion. He had not used magic either.

He hadn't really for any of his chores the last few weeks.

Over a month of using little more than elbow grease made him feel better. It kept him from thinking of Lily and her husband dead.

Of her son being an orphan.

Of his failure despite the risks he'd taken.

And no matter who said otherwise, he'd taken risks. Going to the headmaster as he had done to begin with was a risk.

"Do you need me to sign anything?"

It was either this, or return to Hogwarts. There weren't a whole lot of options available to him at this point in time. Unless he wanted to work among muggles, but that's what this was. And was a better opportunity (financially and otherwise) than he'd likely get on his own.

He had no university level education. He couldn't really put "spy" on a CV. Who'd believe him? Particularly muggles, as the wizarding world would be out, he suspected, even if he did turn this offer today down. He wasn't sure what type of assistance he'd get from the headmaster if he asked for it, whether it be university or muggle employment.

He truly did not think that he was made to be a professor. And honestly, he wasn't sure returning to Hogwarts was an option at the moment anyway. At least not a wise one. He'd done it to begin with, only because Dumbledore and Voldemort both required it of him. No more Dark Lord. No more spying. No more students. No more dunderheads!

"I have one request," Severus said.

"Okay."

"I would like a lab. I can make one in the home provided to me, but I would need assurance no one will ever go in there. The Statute of Secrecy, you are obviously aware of it to be here today. I don't have many hobbies or interests. This, though, would feel like a missing limb if I could not do it."

"The Minister mentioned that may be the case. Likened it to our chemistry. There is a financial allowance for the equipment you would need, which I realize you will have to buy. There is a magical area near where your base of operation will be, which was part of the reason it was chosen. You will have to disguise yourself, obviously, any time you go there. From my understanding, your Voldemort had followers everywhere."

Severus winced at this man's use of that name. He couldn't help it. Especially as casually as he'd said it. This man would have no true idea what that man's name meant to so many. He imagined it would take time not to react to it. Time in the muggle world would be good for that.

"The allowance would be for the basics, your headmaster and minister provided us with a dollar amount we were fine with. Anything luxurious would be on your dime. We can negotiate a wage garnishment if there are things you need now that exceed our provided budget. Once I leave, Mr. Snape, the house will be yours. We will not do spot checks or have access to it without you letting us in. You will be able to put it in whatever name you choose. You will, of course, be able to change the locks, and do whatever you feel the need to do to secure your home."

"Thank you," he said.

Not brewing.

Well, that would be bothersome.

Truly.

It was as much a part of him as his oft made fun of hair and nose. It gave him time to close off his mind. For that time, short or long depending on the potion, he could shut everything and everyone else out and focus on making magic. His ability to do so well, passed onto him from his mum. Master Chapleau taught him plenty, but the innate ability Severus had to see things differently than others. That was mostly Eileen Prince's influence.

Severus watched as Mr. Dolan walked to the door and opened it, indicating to Dumbledore and the minister they could return.

"I'm pleased you agreed, Severus," Dumbledore said while his new handler (he took heart that he was not a new master) and the minister spoke.

There was something in Dumbledore's tone that gave Severus pause. He was likely imagining it, but his eyes weren't shining as brightly as he saw them when he was in a good mood. Was this a mistake, after all? A trap? No, Dumbledore would not do that to him. Once upon a time, Severus could have believed he would do that, but not after all he'd done in Albus Dumbledore's name, and at his behest, the past couple of years.

"I want you safe. Time and space will ensure no one tries to come after you. That they come to terms that any sentences or punishments were caused by them, and not you."

"I hope that you are right."

"Do you know what name you will choose?"

"I do," he said simply.

Silence as the older man regarded Severus, clearly waiting for him to tell him.

"Hans Gruber."


NOTE: Happy Wednesday! Thanks for reading! Have a great rest of your week.