thank you so much for reading and for your reviews! your words mean so much to me.
hope you like this chapter too, it is meant to follow the last chapter (in case that's not clear)
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disclaimer: I own nothing
"Jess, what can I do to help besides make sure all the right books are in the right genres? Though I do enjoy it, I want to do more," Rory pleads, as she finishes scrutinizing the poetry section of the store for any imposters. He stands across the room from her, going over a list that she's seen him look at multiple times already. He taps a pen against the counter, focus completely locked on the information in front of him. Rory takes cautious steps in his direction until she's a few feet from him.
"Jess?"
He pauses the movement of the pen and freezes for a moment, then looks up at her. His eyes are dark and his hair unruly. He didn't get enough sleep the night before, they stayed up late watching television and she knows he woke up and got out of bed before seven. She remembers waking up to a clacking sound and opening her eyes to see the bedroom door open. She thinks it was him in the next room, typing away on his computer. He always leaves the door open when he's up but still in the apartment, it's something she's come to adore about living with him. Like he always wants her to know he's still there, or that he wants to know as soon as she's awake. Maybe both.
"Are you okay?" She asks in his silence, stepping another foot closer to him. His head shakes, as if he's waking from a deep thought. He then nods.
"I'm okay. I don't really have anything else for you to do right now to help. Inventory's done, you helped me organize, and everything for the opening tomorrow will be setup by other people."
She regards him, she can tell he's stressed but trying to hide it. She also knows with him it's better to wait until he brings up whatever is bothering him. She dances her fingers on the counter and looks around the space thoughtfully.
"Everything looks really great, Jess. Tomorrow is going to be amazing. I'm so excited for you and the guys! When are they coming?"
His mouth twitches slightly upwards.
"They're on their way. I guess it takes some time to wrangle kids and get them ready for a long car ride."
"Okay, well I can always help out with their kids when they get here. I don't know if you remember but I kept small children very entertained after the fire at the inn years ago. All I need are two socks and a story!" she enthuses, attempting to get Jess laughing or at least making fun of her.
He only smiles slightly, "I remember."
She stays quiet, leaning forward on the counter. His eyes move back to the paper in front of him, and she just notices that he has his laptop open next to it too.
"Can I help with whatever you're doing there?" she asks, though she already knows the answer. He shakes his head immediately.
"No," he then looks up at her again with a slight grimace, "I also remember your mom slept in the apartment the night of the fire at the inn. And I am now grossed out by the fact that I had a sleepover with Lorelai before you."
Rory covers her mouth to try and silence her loud laugh.
"I remember. She said, and I quote, 'your boyfriend snores'."
His face drops to annoyance, "I do not snore."
She smiles like the cheshire cat.
"Okay."
"I don't snore!" he exclaims, pointing the pen in his hand at her. She shrugs teasingly. He drops the pen and crosses his arms over his chest with an eyebrow raised. She laughs out loud.
"You do snore a little. But it's quiet, and cute. Not like a train or anything."
He smirks, "So do you. Kinda like…baby Pegasus in Hercules."
She throws her head back and laughs at the visual.
"That sounds really cute!"
"It is really cute. Feels like I'm sleeping next to a cartoon character," he teases, putting his hands on the counter to lean forward towards her. She takes the opportunity to drop a chaste kiss on his mouth.
"I did promise two artists that I would pick up their pieces and bring them here for tomorrow. Since we have a car. Want to help me do that?"
The worry in her chest calms, and she nods with an excited grin.
"I would love to! Hey, do you get a parking spot with this place? Because that's amazing and so hard to find in New York."
She asks as he locks the front door and leads her towards the back exit.
"Only because Emily haggled the owners into throwing one in. Watching your grandmother negotiate might be my favorite sport."
Rory laughs joyously at that, "It's so adorable that you two spent all this time together while I was traveling for work."
"It was necessary. And, trust me, it wasn't all a walk in the park. There were many arguments and disputes."
"Ugh, that's even more adorable! You know she only gives a hard time when she really cares."
Jess huffs out a breath, "You Gilmore girls sure do have your quirks."
...
They walk through the back door a couple hours later, Jess carrying a small sculpture and Rory a colorful textile piece. The mumbling of voices can be heard coming from the front of the shop, and Rory sees momentary panic on Jess's face as he breaks into a careful jog, mindful of the heavy metal piece in his hands. She tries to match his pace and stops shortly behind him as they see who is there. Jess sighs heavily.
"Jesus, you guys think you could have given me a heads up that you would be breaking in?"
"Hi Chris! Hi Matt!" Rory chirps, then moves around Jess, "Hi Ava, happy early birthday! Do you remember me?"
The little girl smiles and nods and attempts to say her name. Matt and Chris each hold a child in their arms, Chris with his tiny six month old daughter, and Matt with his one and half year old son.
"Hey Rory! And Jess, we texted you, but surprise, surprise - you haven't checked your phone in the last hour," Matt responds with a smug smile. Jess pulls his phone out of his pocket and rolls his eyes, "All you said was 'here'. This is New York, you need to be more specific."
"Well, we're here. Specifically, here at our brand new branch - Truncheon II. And it looks incredible," Chris states, eyes roaming around the space, then back to Jess with sincerity, "thank you for overseeing all this. You did a killer job."
Jess shrugs, feigning indifference, "It was easy. Where are Audrey and Mabel?"
"Well, we left them alone at the hotel to nap, but I have a feeling they will be sneaking in a shopping trip or a bit of day drinking," Matt replies, then turns to Rory, "sorry, I didn't think you would be here. Jess said you had an assignment in Croatia. Otherwise, I would have let them know to invite you to their secret shenanigans."
Rory chuckles, "No worries! I was supposed to be in Croatia, but I had a minor incident that resulted in an ankle injury, so I came home earlier than planned. Take it from me, don't wear kitten heels on cobblestone streets. You would think the shorter the heel, the easier the fall but actually it's so small it gets stuck in the space between stones so perfectly that you can't even twist your foot out of it before your down."
"Thank you for that PSA," Matt grins at her, then turns to Jess, "What can we do to help?"
Jess looks between them both.
"With babies strapped to you, not much."
"Sorry man, we had to give the women a break. Rough morning, rough car ride. We carpooled. One kid starts crying, so did the other. A lot of moving and stopping and switching and soothing. And the diapers -"
"I get it," Jess stops him with a hand up, then turns to Rory and nods to the art in her hands, "do you mind helping me put that tapestry up? I don't want to just leave it laying around."
She makes a face, "will there be tools involved?"
"Not in your hands," he quickly assures her, shaking his head like he knows better. She goes to accept but pauses, looking at Matt and Chris.
"How about I hang out with the kids while you guys talk shop and handle tools?" She offers with a kind smile, "we can go to Jess's office in the back or my grandfather's library."
Jess looks wearily in her direction, "not the library. Please. Friendly now or not, Emily still scares me."
"Definitely not the library, I saw what those books are worth," Matt whistles, and his son giggles in his arms in response, "but that would be great if you don't mind."
"Not at all! Hand em over!" She opens her arms wide.
"Wait, I'll go grab the car seats, so you don't have to juggle them. Be right back," Chris offers before turning to the door.
"You can have Spencer," Matt hands his smiling son to her. Rory takes him happily and holds him at her hip.
"Hi Spencer," she smiles down at him, "You guys all have movie star names, Audrey, Ava, Matt, Spencer. So glamorous!"
"It was kind of you to throw my boring name in there," he winks at her, then turns his attention to Jess, "speaking of stars, have you decided which short story you're going to read tomorrow?"
"You're reading something tomorrow?" Rory asks, enthusiastic curiosity on her face.
His eyes shift between Matt and her. He squirms slightly and runs a hand through his hair.
"Not sure what movie stars have to do with that…" he deflects in a mumble.
"Come on, don't tell me you still haven't chosen one? We asked you months ago, even picked our favorites from your book to help!" Matt throws his arms up in disbelief. Rory's enthusiasm visibly deflates. Jess avoids her look.
"Months ago? Your book? Did you publish a book and not tell me?"
His eyes shoot up to hers, "No! Of course not."
"We're planning to release it late November. Jess's idea actually, you know as sort of a 'fuck you we don't all have happy memories' to the holiday cheer," Matt explains, "but, we asked him to pick a story to read from it tomorrow as a teaser. And because it's the grand opening of our second store, we want to feature a piece from one of the owners."
Rory's attention doesn't turn from Jess, who is again avoiding her look. She feels left out of something, and it causes an annoying ache in the pit of her stomach. She's sure he has his reasons for not telling her, but she can't think of one good enough to keep something that momentous from her. Matt looks between the two of them, realizing that something is amiss.
"I mean, nothing is set in stone you know. It's all up to Jess, it's his work. And really, Chris and I sort of forced him into participating, mostly because neither of us have had time to spend on our art," he attempts to backtrack, to alleviate the tangible tension in the room. Jess shoots him a look that shuts him up. He turns to Rory then, and she turns her attention to Ava who is sitting on the floor with a small truck.
"Ava, do you want to hang out with me and the babies? I'll teach you pattycakes. Have you ever heard of that?"
"Pattycakes?" she repeats but stands up to follow Rory.
She shoots a look over her shoulder, directed at Matt, "will you let Chris know we're back here?"
Matt nods in confirmation, though Rory doesn't wait to catch it. She marches to the back office, baby slightly bouncing on her hip which sends him into playful laughter. The sound soothes the fervent combination of confusion and frustration coursing through her, and she smiles down at him.
She steps into the office and flips on the light. Jess has already set it up for himself to work in on days he's at the shop. A desk, not his nice antique one - that one stays at home, but a nice desk nonetheless with a proper monitor and keyboard sitting on it. A stack of notepads sits waiting for his thoughts and ideas to be put to paper. She decides to sit on the floor, so she can be at child level to play. When she sits down, she looks up at the wall across from her and her lips twitch, wanting to smile. The picture they took on her birthday last year stares back at her. The messy, pre-breakfast one - his face a slight blur due to the action of him turning to kiss her cheek. She wants to laugh because it's the only picture he has right now, and it's held on to the wall by a piece of tape and is not a professional looking picture by any means. But it also makes her fret, because that day and many other days over the past year of their relationship, they made a lot of promises to each other. And it feels like he's not keeping one of them. Ava interrupts her thoughts, "Can we pattycakes?"
Rory grins and nods and sets Spencer down safely on his bottom next to her.
"Okay so we start with a clap," she demonstrates, and just as she's about to go into the song, the door opens. She looks up and is caught by surprise as Jess walks in, armed with two car seats; Chris's daughter Chloe sitting in one of them, mumbling out baby sounds. Rory swallows, trying to hide the onslaught of attraction seeing him like this makes her feel. His face is full of regret and apology, and that brings her hormones back down to earth.
"You weren't going to tell me?" Rory speaks before he can, frowning deeply. He takes a breath and then steps closer to her, setting the two car seats down. He tugs at his hair, and opens his mouth, but she cuts him off,
"I would have found a way to be here, without getting injured, to see you read new material at the grand opening of your store, Jess. And you have had the book finished for months? Why didn't you tell me?"
He rubs his hands over his face, then sits down in the office chair behind his desk. He rolls it closer to where she sits on the floor. He looks down at her, hand at the back of his neck.
"Because it wasn't really finished. The guys thought it was because, well, I did present it that way. But I had one more…piece to add to it that I've slowly been working on, that I didn't tell them about. I finished it this morning."
Her mind recalls the sound of keyboard taps early in the morning. She stares at him, waiting for more information.
"I'm sorry for not telling you any of that. And the reason I didn't mention reading at the event tomorrow, is because I planned to not do it."
She softens slightly, "Why not?"
He bites his lip, eyes shifting around the room as he gathers his thoughts. He leans forward, elbows resting on his knees.
"My book is short stories and prose focused on…mothers, and experiences including them. It shows, I hope, the nuances of raising a child when you're still a child yourself, and the complexities of single motherhood. It's mostly stories from my past."
She softens further, staring up at him with understanding. The two children play on the floor next to her.
"I know it's hard for your to talk about your childhood."
He nods slowly, "It's one thing to write about it and sell it as fiction. But it's another thing to speak it out loud, whether people know it's true or not…"
"You know it's true," she whispers, and places a hand on his leg, "is Liz going to be there tomorrow?"
He nods.
"She may have been…out of her mind for a lot of the stories I wrote, but I know they will do something to her. And as much as I might want to hold her responsible for the way I grew up, I can't do that to her in front of a room full of people. And that's not the point of the book either. I didn't write it to drag her through the mud. I wrote it to try and make sense of things that happened to me, and to Doula. Mothers are human, but it's because they are moms that their humanity is put on trial - much more so than fathers. It's impossible to avoid mistakes, and impossible to avoid trauma, and that's sort of where the journey of writing this has led me."
Rory takes his hand in hers and squeezes it lovingly. Jess swallows.
"There is still a responsibility there, you know. She should have done better, she should have cared to try harder - I will never not think that. But I do recognize now that…the world failed her as well," he takes a breath before continuing, "I don't know if that's necessarily the takeaway that people hearing the stories will have, and that's why I'm hesitant to share any of them on their own. The collection is meant to be read all together."
She thinks over his words, nodding in understanding.
"But, what you finished this morning, are you going to read it tomorrow?"
"That's what I've been focused on all day…the list I had was of chapters from the book. I was trying to find anything else that I would be comfortable reading. I want to read what I finished this morning," Jess stares into her eyes and swallows before responding, "but being able to do that depends on you."
Her eyebrow raises, but before she can ask anything else, Chloe cries in her car seat. Rory turns to her quickly to take her out and holds her to her chest. She speaks in soft, calm murmurs against her small head. Jess watches the scene before him with his heart caught in his throat. He knows her inside and out; she's patient and kind and caring. But to see it in this context does something to him. However, the writing that he has to show her brings him back to reality. He steps out of the room for a moment to grab his laptop, then returns and sits on the floor next to her. He holds the computer out to her.
"Trade?"
She grins slightly and transfers the baby over to his arms, which look extra strong next to such a fragile little thing. She bites her lip then picks up the computer and begins to read his words.
It feels like only minutes later when she finishes. When she looks up at the nervous anticipation on Jess's face, she's sure it felt like days to him.
With a watery smile she puts the laptop to the side and leans over to wrap her arms around his neck.
"Read that tomorrow. Please."
"You know, I gave these books to the store instead of you only to keep them in a safe place for you. This collection is worth thousands of dollars, and I wouldn't feel comfortable with you having that in your New York apartment. God forbid someone breaks in and tries to steal them from you. At least here there are alarms and security that would lock in an intruder and call the police immediately. I know because I insisted Jess get the best technology available."
Emily proclaims this to Rory as they walk around the library of Richard's books. She surprised both Rory and Jess by showing up at the grand opening, after she had claimed it to be an investment she wanted to stay 'silent' in. Rory gives her a knowing look.
"You don't have to explain yourself, and you really don't have to pretend you don't like doing nice things for Jess."
She huffs indignantly, "For you and Jess. Nothing I've done is only for him."
Rory sighs, "but what do you think? He did a great job didn't he?"
They hear a gasp behind them, and Rory and Emily turn to see Lorelai. Her jaw is dropped, her eyes misty.
"This is…beautiful. Oh my god."
"Isn't it? I sobbed the first time I saw it."
"It's amazing. He would love it."
Rory smiles softly and walks up to her mom to hug her. Jess appears in the doorway over Lorelai's shoulder. She smiles wider and gives him a small wave. He nods his head to beckon her out of the room.
"I'll be back. All the glass slides open if you want to read anything," Rory explains as she separates from Lorelai and walks towards Jess.
"Something about that feels sacrilege. I think I'll just look," Lorelai mumbles in response, mesmerized by the portrait of her father.
Outside the door to the library, Jess pulls Rory into a quiet corner. He looks her over gently.
"In case I haven't said it already, you look beautiful tonight."
She bites her bottom lip before teasing, "just tonight?"
He chuckles and shakes his head. But as his gaze settles on her again, his face shows a sliver of apprehension.
"I'm…supposed to go on soon. After this break is over."
She nods excitedly, "I know! I can't wait."
He eyes her skeptically.
"Are you sure? You're still okay with this?"
She takes his hands in hers.
"Jess, your words are beautiful, and haunting and deep at the same time. I love every single one of them. Yes, I'm beyond sure that I want you to read it."
He looks her over once more, then grins softly.
"My words are inspired by you, that's the only reason they're beautiful."
She shakes her head to dismiss the sugary comment.
"No, it's all you. You were born to write. And I'm honored to be included in your work in any way."
Jess opens his mouth to refute, but then Matt's voice rings out across the room, announcing his reading.
"You all should know Jess, but if you don't, he is a partner in Truncheon and the sole manager of this new branch. I like to say his favorite things in life come down to three S's - solitude, stories, and more solitude."
The crowd laughs, and Rory cracks a teasing smile before leaning in to whisper in his ear, "he forgot the fourth S - sex."
He smirks and kisses her cheek before turning to face where Matt's standing across the room. As laughter dies down, Matt continues.
"In all seriousness, Jess is an incredible writer and truncheon wouldn't be what it is without him. I'm grateful to call him one of my closest friends, and lucky to have met him all those years ago in Philadelphia. He will now, begrudgingly, read an excerpt from his new book that will be coming out late fall. This piece is called "Mom to Be". Please, everyone give Jess Mariano a hand, mostly because he will hate it. Come on up, Jess, your fans are waiting!"
He rolls his eyes, then turns to Rory, leaving her with a kiss of love and gratitude before taking the makeshift stage. He offers the crowd nothing but a nod as he takes a small journal out of his back pocket. He transferred the words to paper earlier, using it as a way to get more comfortable with the material and with speaking. She practically drooled watching his laser focus concentration, smudges of ink all over his hands, as he wrote and mumbled to himself at home in his underwear that morning.
He opens to the page he needs, and very briefly catches Rory's eyes before speaking. She places a hand to her heart and listens to his smooth voice from her little corner of the store.
"This is a story about a girl with a kind heart and genuine mind. The kind that the world constantly tries to warp, to manipulate, to confuse. Break them down or mold them into something else. Often under the clever guise of love and care, because a truly kind heart will always trust open arms and sweetly spoken words; she will see a rose and find only beauty there. And even when these motives are muddled, and an ugliness presents itself, she will look for those soft, gentle petals amongst the bushel of prickly stems - believing that if there's a thorn, she will surely find a flower somewhere.
It's not fair, but as the story goes, this will be irreparably used against her.
She's raised strong and fierce, with a heart of gold and mind like a diamond. For most of her first eighteen years, she can hear herself loud and clear. Her confidence unshakeable, and her determination unbreakable - she knows what she wants from her life. But it's as time goes on, her own voice seems to fade in the crowd of the people around her.
Time seems to move slowly as she treks through her young adulthood. Her dreams darken around her as people she trusts cloud her mind with doubt. It feels like she's standing and actively watching as people stick labels to her body. Daughter, granddaughter, girlfriend, the 'when I have time for you' daughter, student, intern, sister, fiancée, future wife, ex-girlfriend, lover. And then, at the cusp between girl and woman, one last label is stuck over her eyes where she can't yet see - "mom to be".
This will be the one that breaks her, and it starts crushing her in its grip one missed cycle later. It appears as a blessing, a guided path to the future. Bridging the young adult to womanhood. It inspires preparation, it inspires creativity - it inspires a reframing of her life, an impending metamorphosis that's been suffocating her with its uninterpretable blur. It seems to be just what a woman weighed down by expectations needed. She's a mom to be and that's her future. There's nothing that anyone can say about that, because there's nothing she can do to change it.
Except the rug is ripped from beneath her just months later. The walkway over the valley of her life decisions crumbles, and she is once again lost and left with only labels. The walls of her sense of self begin to crack, but at first she doesn't see the advantage of that. She takes on shame that isn't hers to bear, takes on deep sadness that should have been shared. She buries her torn heart deep inside, because she doesn't want to see anyone else cry.
In the clutches of the aftermath of finding out motherhood was a decision someone else made for her, she finally breaks. It hurts, it's excruciating pain as she sees how her own heart has been used against her. But it's not the betrayal that stings the most, it's the realization that she's completely lost herself in everyone else.
So, she turns to the only person left she can trust.
It's on the side of a highway that she meets her younger self. She asks, "who are we?" At first she doesn't say anything, as she removes all the labels from her body. She rips away the words that others have used to control her, the titles that connect her to other people's lives, until the two recognize each other again. At last, she speaks, as she removes finally the words "mom to be".
"You're right here. You always have been. You are me."
Looking through the eyes of the girl she used to be, she sees everything more clearly. And in the moment of lucidity goes after the future she wanted before being tainted by labels, criticism and expectations. The power of choosing for herself, going after something that is only for her, breaks the walls down completely.
As she goes to leap across the valley of uncertainty, she notices a safety net of love and care that she pretended wasn't there.
She dives in, and she finds herself again. A rebirth begins, and she looks forward to a different kind of metamorphosis once more.
She was a mom to be. And she was happy to be that, she was prepared to build someone up, loving and strong, the way that her own mother did. It was a life she would have been excited to live. But it should have been a choice, the desires of others should not have been used as a deceptive tool to drown out her own voice.
She was a mom to be. And she may be one again someday, but that's not for you or me to say.
Her life is complete either way."
She gulps as he finishes, her heart is on fire as he catches her eyes again over the crowd. People clap loudly around the room, but it's just the two of them in this moment. She smiles at him and holds both hands to her chest to indicate the love she's feeling for him.
"How are you not crying?" Lorelai's voice comes from next to her all the sudden. She turns and sees her mom's tear stained face.
"He let me read it yesterday, and then read it to me at home this morning too. I cried, trust me. Those moments were for me. But this moment, it's all his, and I want to keep it that way."
Lorelai wipes her eyes and pulls Rory into a hug.
"He captured you well," she whispers in her ear.
"He always does. He's gifted that way."
Lorelai pulls back, looking over her daughter and smiling softly.
"Maybe it's a gift. Or maybe it's just that he cares about you so much, understands you so well, that he comes up with any possible way to show you."
At those words, Rory looks down towards the floor, at the flats that he suggested she wear because of her ankle. She thinks about the one and only picture in his office, that he put up hastily maybe because he wanted to have a piece of them in there immediately. She thinks of his words from earlier that week, about caring and not being overprotective, she looks back up to meet her mom with a shy smile.
"Maybe you're right."
They sit cuddled against a wall in the store. Everyone has left, and it's just them, surrounded by artwork and books. They take in quietly Jess's accomplishments and future promises. A soft, meandering Radiohead song plays through the speakers around the store. Rory's head leans against Jess's shoulder, his arm wrapped snugly around her, his lips resting on her hair. They soak up what's left of the energy from the day, as it starts to approach night. A grumble in Rory's stomach interrupts their peace. Jess smirks against her head.
"Is it feeding time, Audrey II?"
She giggles, "Yes, Seymour!"
"What do you want, my hungry little plant? The world is your oyster."
She smiles and turns her head to look at him, "You're in an extra good mood. Happy with how the opening went?"
"Happy? Maybe. Relieved? Definitely."
She sits up fully at that and turns to him.
"Relieved? Have you been worried?"
He shrugs, "in my own way. It was a little intimidating getting all this setup mostly alone. And then reading your personal business to a room of people…I wasn't sure how that would end. I was afraid you would feel differently once it was done. I know I didn't say your name, but to some I'm sure it was obvious."
She shakes her head rapidly.
"Not at all. I loved it. You made me feel…so seen."
His face softens, he cups her cheek.
"I do see you. At least, I think I do."
"You do," she takes his hand from her face and kisses his palm.
"I'm so proud of you, Jess."
His face doesn't change, but she catches the way his chest inflates at her words.
"You should be proud of yourself too," her eyes roam around the shop, "I mean, look at all this. You got this store up and running, virtually alone, in under a year. And, you finished writing a new book. That's impressive. You're impressive."
He still doesn't say anything, just smiles appreciatively back at her. She continues, wanting to see in his eyes that he believes her words.
"Not to mention, you dealt with Emily Gilmore without having me there as a buffer. Allowing her to kind of force you into this is amazing in itself. I'm sure that young Jess would be shocked that you did that."
He smirks, "Shocked is an understatement."
"That's what I mean," she insists, looking him in the eyes, "look at where you are. You did all of these things that you would have never been comfortable with or interested in doing before. You have grown so much, and you're growing more with this new part of your life here in New York. It's amazing, Jess. I really am so proud of you. And God, do I love to watch you work. It's mesmerizing."
He basks for a moment in her praise, letting it settle through him until he's smiling. Then as he considers her last words, he smirks again.
"Oh yeah? You're talking about this morning, aren't you? I may have been focused, but I could still feel your eyes burning into me."
She blushes and purses her lips before confessing, "I kinda wanted you to put your smudgy fingers all over me."
"All you had to do was ask."
"No, not today. It's your day. Everything should be about you and your work."
He kisses her hand, "You're a part of me, and my work."
She tries to quell her pleased grin as she wraps her arms around his neck, "Jess?"
He hums.
"I am so proud of you."
He rubs her back and kisses the side of her face. His reply is soft and genuine, "Thank you."
"You're amazing," she whispers in his ear. He holds her tighter to him. He feels her stomach vibrate against him and laughs.
"And you're hungry. Let's go home, I'll make us dinner."
"We should go out to eat! You know, celebrate a little," she argues, pulling away from him to meet his eyes. He makes a face.
"I don't really want to talk to anyone else for the rest of the night."
She pouts, "Poor baby, is your social battery empty?"
"It's practically destroyed. Hanging by a weathered thread," he confirms with a nod.
"Well, at least let me buy us takeout. It's your big day!"
He shakes his head and pinches her waist affectionately.
"I just want to go home and take care of you. You're hungry, you've been turned on by my inky hands all day, you probably had to field lots of questions after that reading. Let me make it all better," he kisses her neck, and it makes her tremble with anticipation.
"I'm fine! I should be taking care of you."
"Indulge me, woman," he mumbles against her skin. His lips tickle her, and she twitches with a giggle.
"Okay, you can take care of me."
He pulls back with a grin and winks, "Music to my ears. What are you in the mood for? Burgers? Tacos? Pasta? I think we have the ingredients for that baked mac and cheese recipe that you love. You want that? There's plenty of wine leftover from today too, we'll take some home."
Her heart swells inexplicably as he speaks, and a thought presents itself so demandingly at the front of her mind that she has to get it out.
"Jess," the tone of his name strikes him silent. He lifts an eyebrow for her to continue, giving her his full attention. She sits back slightly in his arms, she places her hands gently on his chest. She takes a breath. She looks into his eyes, reflecting the love he is making her feel back to him. His actions, his words, all of his care - has inspired a decision that she didn't expect to be able to make yet in her life. But that's exactly what his love has done - inspired visions of their life together.
"I want that with you. I know I do."
His face portrays his surprise for a moment, but then he second guesses her meaning.
"What do you want?"
"I want to be…a 'mom to be' again. I want you to make me one."
He can't school the look on his face this time, and it shows cautious excitement.
"Rory…" he can only manage to say her name, his mouth flounders as words elude him completely. She takes it as a good sign and smiles.
"Not right now. Not any time soon, I don't think. But I know for sure that it's something that I want to do with you. If you want it too."
"Yes," he quickly replies, then leans forward and kisses her hard on the mouth. He holds her face in his hands as he pulls away, eyes blazing all over her, "where did this come from?"
"Your words," she starts, but he cuts her off.
"I didn't meant to pressure you, Rory. That was not the point of my words at all."
"Jess," she speaks over him, soothing her hand over his chest, "I know. The point of your words was that the choice is mine and should always have been. And that it's not something I need, but I'm telling you it's something I want. I'm making my choice. Your words inspired me, they didn't pressure me."
She feels him relax under her hand. He gives her a smile full of admiration.
"It's not just your words," she continues softly, "it's you. Your love and your care. I want to raise a child or two with you. One day."
He places his arms beneath her and lifts them both up to a standing position. He grips his hands in her hair and kisses her with burning passion.
"You tell me when," he utters when they break apart, "that's all you have to do."
The corners of her mouth lift up to her cheeks.
"I will," she promises, running a hand down his chest and stomach, "but I think for now, we should go home and practice for when that day comes. Doesn't that sound fun?"
With a big, excited smirk he replies, "You have no idea how much."
