Bella felt like she ran a marathon.

Her lungs burned. Her heart thrummed wildly in her chest. Every muscle in her body was tense and sore.

And for what? She had failed.

She had failed spectacularly.

She had one hour- one frickin' hour to explain everything to a psychic vampire- and she could only lay on the floor in front of the other girl and stare at her in silence for almost the entire time; too afraid to say something and have her leave immediately.

Alice, the good sport that she was, had just laid next to her, watching Bella with her honey eyes while not saying anything and letting Bella dictate what would happen. Alice had merely reached out and started braiding and unbraiding strands of Bella's hair after twenty minutes of silence while the human pitifully tried to get her one single brain cell to work for five seconds.

Bella wanted to scream at herself for being so useless and stupid.

She had one chance today and blew it.

"I'm sorry," Alice said softly- almost sadly, to Bella's miserable ears- after the time ran out. "But I have to go."

Bella let out a pitiful whimper when Alice moved forward to brush her cold lips against her forehead. Reaching out, she grabbed the vampire and held her as tight as her human body would allow her.

Alice smelled like vanilla and honey today.

Nuzzling her nose against the sharp curve of Alice's collarbone, Bella's fingers curled into useless claws as she gripped the other girl tighter.

"I love you," Bella whispered against cold, perfect skin. She blinked back tears.

It was a plea more than admission. A final 'don't leave me.'

"I love you, too," Alice said as she held the human in her arms.

But it's not enough, is it?

"You can't see me, Alice," Bella reiterated, shaking slightly from the growing emotions. "Surely that has to count for something. You wouldn't just leave me if something was going to happen."

The psychic vampire hummed low in her throat as her hands soothed their way up and down Bella's back to try and calm the growing emotional hurricane in the human's fragile body.

It was a losing fight, however, and tears started to rain down Bella's cheeks.

"It is an odd occurrence," Alice said slowly, as if she didn't want to admit it. "But it could just be so many paths opening up to you now that you haven't decided on what to do. You could actively be trying not to make a decision- coasting. I'm not happy leaving you in this situation, but if anything were to happen to you, I'd rush back to you in a heartbeat."

"Stay with me," Bella pleaded. "Figure this out with me."

"I can't," Alice sighed out, voice teetering on plaintive as she looked at Bella with a pleading expression. "Bella, I can't."

Bella made a frustrated noise in her throat and butted her head roughly against the vampire's marble body, doing more to hurt herself than the other girl in the process.

Alice's hands immediately flew up to check the bump on Bella's head, but her concerned actions were quickly batted away with a grunt.

"I'm making you choose between me and your family," Bella mumbled after relaxing her fingers, flexing them to get blood flow back into the digits again after clinging so tightly to Alice. She scooted back, putting distance between the two of them. "That's- that's not fair of me. I'm sorry."

"You're forgiven," Alice said as she sat up, knees pulled up to her chest. "But I have to go. Edward is waiting for you downstairs."

"Yippee," Bella drawled.

Alice laughed mirthlessly. "We're sorry, Bella, but one day you'll understand."

"I don't want to understand this distant 'later' you're talking about," Bella said petulantly as she scrubbed away the drying tears on her face, "I want you to stay with me."

Alice smiled sadly at the human.

"I wish I could."

"I know… I know that. I do. I'm just-" Bella flung an arm over her eyes. She was tired of seeing Alice's pitiful expression each time she asked her to stay. "Help me. What do I do to convince you tomorrow?"

Alice sighed, light and airy, and motioned for Bella to sit up.

"Okay, so, If you're really in a time loop, let me give you a hint for next time. If not, then this is one last secret between best friends. Will you let me move closer?"

Bella nodded silently, eyes large with anticipation on what this big secret involving Alice's past might be.

The vampire seemed to be curious about her human life but didn't mourn it like the others of the clan. She always was completely fascinated with Bella's human nature; Alice would be intrigued by the most bizarre acts humans did, such as eating, and loved to question Bella about every little thing that happened.

A conspiratorial smile spread across Alice's lips as she scooted closer.

Their knees touched.

Bella's pulse started to race.

Alice's cool breath blew against Bella's ear as she leaned in close to whisper.

Bella held her breath and desperately willed her heart to stop its frantic beats as she felt Alice's lips curve into a smile against the shell of her ear.

"My human name was Mary Alice Brandon," came the vampire's soft words. "Call me by that tomorrow and I'll believe you one hundred percent."

When Alice moved away Bella could only nod dumbly at the information given to her.

"Okay," she said in a hushed whisper. "Thank you."

Alice smiled at her before rising to her feet in a fluid motion.

"No problem. Now, show me you're tough, and don't make a fuss when I leave, okay?"

Sniffling, Bella tried very, very hard to keep from crying as she nodded. "This isn't a 'goodbye,' but an 'I'll see you again soon.'"

Alice grinned that familiar grin of hers before blurring out of existence and Bella's stomach dropped. Tears burned in her eyes even as she tried to remind herself she would see the vampire again in less than 24 hours.

Bella sat there, alone in an empty room, and mourned today's loss and celebrated the small gain she also managed to get.

Part of her was glad Edward couldn't read her mind as she lay there on the floor. All the vitriolic things she thought about him at that moment were almost shameful after they passed. She didn't want to hate Edward for doing this, it came out of genuine concern for her wellbeing, she knew that, but she hated having no choice in this very important matter as well.

Rage and pain led the way to guilt and apathy as Bella slowly dragged her emotionally tired body off the floor to face the music of the final day of her relationship. Tromping down the stairs and out the door, Bella wasn't surprised to see Edward standing outside, leaning against her truck as if he could do it for days (and he probably could).

He had the gall to smile at her which only worsened the dark cloud hanging over her. Bella didn't want that. She wanted him to just break up with her and let her drive home to take a nap.

She was tired. All the crying lately was starting to eat at her mental health. The whiplash of being in love, loathing, hope, and subsequent soul-crushing heartbreak was happening daily and just wreaking havoc on her.

"So you skipped school to hang out with my sister?" Edward questioned when Bella was within normal human hearing range.

"You're breaking up with me, right?" Bella asked as she motioned for him to get off her truck. "Can we just get it over with? I have a date with my mattress and blanket after this."

Edward's boyish charm didn't seem to know what to do with such a blunt question, and his smile quickly turned into a grimace as he moved aside to allow Bella access to her vehicle.

"I guess… Alice told you," Edward mumbled as he helped Bella into her truck. "I would normally say 'I hope we can stay friends,' but you already know my whole family is gone now. I'm the last one left in Forks."

"I'm smart enough that I figured it out on my own," Bella snapped as she slammed the door shut. "I didn't need Alice telling me something so painfully obvious."

And thinking back on all the previous days before the time loop, it was obvious this was the ending it was going to be. Not one other member of the Cullen clan, sans Edward, deigned to show up to school anymore, and even he was the same as a ghost the entire time he was around.

Bella had to practically beg him to talk, even if he was glued to her side all day during school and at night when she slept beside him. This was the ending that was always going to happen, she just didn't think it had to be the Big End.

They could work past this. She believed in them.

She just had to somehow make Edward see, and that started tomorrow with Mary Alice Brandon.

Apathy and anger fought viciously inside her, but looking at Edward's perfect face settled everything into a cooling numbness.

"Edward, I don't want to hate you," she mumbled as she sagged back in her seat and ran her fingers over the steering wheel. "I love you. I'd do anything for you, and you know that. If asked, I'd give my life for you."

Bella noticed a subtle flinch near his left eye at the mention of dying and swallowed to try and bite back the roiling nausea in her stomach. She hadn't been eating right lately, too overcome with emotions to try and force herself to choke down more than a few mouthfuls at dinner every night before excusing herself, plate barely touched.

Sighing, Bella turned her head lazily towards Edward instead of continuing to stare at her steering wheel as if it would give her some sort of divine inspiration or answer.

"Even if you wind up hating me after this, I'll love you forever."

Edward's mouth settled into a hard line.

She could see his jaw tic beneath his marble skin.

"Can I ask for a favor before I leave?" Edward asked in that quiet voice of his.

"What?" she asked, voice teetering on cracking.

"Please, stay safe and look after yourself."

"You don't get to ask that of me anymore," Bella said, voice now wobbling.

Please, don't act like you care right now. I don't think I can handle that right now.

"I know," Edward said softly. "But consider it my last selfish request. Goodbye, Bella. Please, have a good, normal life."

Bella flinched when Edward reached towards her, making him freeze at the action. She watched with a heavy heart as the vampire dropped his arm, clenching it into a fist at his side, and blurred into empty space.

Breathing heavily through her mouth, Bella just managed to swallow down the cry of Edward's name and instead gripped the steering wheel as tightly as she could in her hands until her fingers hurt.

Once again Bella was alone in the front yard of the now-abandoned Cullen home.

The moving truck was gone. The boxes and furniture were gone.

Bella's entire future was gone until tomorrow when she had the chance to properly sway Alice to her side.

Releasing her vice-like grip, she spent a moment letting feeling come back to her hands before she silently cranked up her truck, put it into gear, and drove away.

The radio Emmett had installed only days ago prior sat silent as she drove. The color, the music, the joy in life just seemed sucked out in that moment.

When Bella got home, she didn't even go to pull out the photo book she had started to fill up with memories of her human life like she had in the previous days. She knew any photos of the Cullen's were gone, and she didn't need any silly reminder about the void in her heart.

Bella had heard other people talk about a 'clean break' when it came to dumping their partner, but she imagined that meant nothing to an Edward breakup. He did everything to erase himself and the Cullens from Bella's very existence. He did a fine job, too, because no matter how much Bella had searched for something to keep as a memento, everything was gone.

Edward had even gone through her laundry basket, removing the sweaters and shirts he let Bella 'borrow' or taking the clothes Alice had so thoughtfully gifted her in her attempts at getting the human more into fashion.

Everything that had once even been looked at by a Cullen was gone.

Bella dragged her tired body into the house, ignoring the rumbling of hunger in her stomach (did she even eat breakfast today? she couldn't remember), and went straight to her room. Flopping onto her mattress, she managed to just barely see that it was around one in the afternoon before her eyes fell shut from exhaustion.

Bella used to dream.

Vivid dreams.

Dreams of thick red liquid and pale skin.

Now, a black emptiness replaced her dreams. In that void, she sank slowly, until the inky abyss threatened to swallow her whole and she was just a bobbing head above the dark waves. The pitch-black surroundings of her dream would melt into her, cling to her body and her clothes, and invade her mouth whenever she tried to scream for help.

Eventually, she was completely consumed by it and woke up with a cry of terror just on the tip of her tongue.

This nap ended like any other time she tried to sleep.

Bella woke with a start bad enough she smacked herself in the face with her arm. Grumbling, she rubbed at her face to ease the slight ache in her nose from where she bopped herself, then shifted until she could awkwardly cran her neck towards her clock to see the time.

5:15 PM

Sighing, she pushed away the last vestiges of exhaustion and slipped out of bed. It wouldn't matter if she went back to bed now or later, she would still be tired come the next time loop.

But there were things to do.

She couldn't just sleep the entire day away in a melancholic fit of despair.

Instinctively she grabbed for her phone, pulling up Edward's contact information and opening a text message.

5:18 PM

I miss you already.

message unsent

The gnawing ache in her abdomen only increased as she tried several times to send the message with steadily growing ire at this bullshit Edward pulled.

They broke up amicably hours ago, or at least as amicably as she could muster at the time, but now the feelings had time to sit and fester again into a raw, bleeding wound.

She did everything right, so why was he punishing her like this?

The tips of her fingers ached ever so slightly as she angrily punched the buttons on the keyboard of her phone as she typed her message.

5:19 PM

You're a jackass and sometimes I hate that I fell in love with you.

message unsent

Bella grit her teeth, jaw clenching and relaxing as she tried to calm the rage beneath her skin. When she calmed down she just felt… sad.

5:21PM

I miss when things were simple. When it was just you and I and nothing else mattered. When did things change?
message unsent

When did things change?

Phoenix.

James.

The bite.

Edward had handled her with kid gloves from the beginning of their relationship, but even more so after that incident where she foolishly tried to protect her mother by sacrificing herself. It turned into one of the most awful experiences in her short life, but Bella would do it again in a heartbeat.

Secretly, Bella was upset that Edward didn't allow the transformation to take her, to allow her to become a vampire like him and his family. To finally be free of mortal bonds and be with the creatures she felt more kin to than the humans around her.

She was made for this life.

It was unfair for Edward to keep her from it.

Bella was able to make her own decisions, her own choices, but Edward thought he knew better for her and kept it all out of her reach and decided everything for her.

She hated that one aspect of their relationship- that she was too incompetent with her humanness to decide her own future and that Edward was saving her by trying to keep her away.

5:24 PM

I love you.

message unsent

5:24 PM

I love you so much it hurts, and maybe that's not good or healthy sometimes, but I can't help it.

message unsent

5:25 PM

But in actuality, I don't care if it's good or healthy. I'm meant to be with you. I need to be with you to be happy.

message unsent

5:25 PM

Just wait. Just watch. I'll fix everything and we'll be together again.

message unsent

Tossing her phone on the bed, she gave up for the night on it. The messages weren't going through, and while it was semi-cathartic to get the words out even if they didn't actually send, it wasn't helping her sour mood overall.

Distantly Bella could hear the rattle of the front door, alerting her to Charlie's arrival home. Cursing under her breath, she made her way downstairs to say hello to her dad.

"Heya, kiddo," Charlie greeted as he took a seat at the kitchen table and leaned down to unlace his boots.

"Hey, Dad," Bella greeted as she started rummaging through the cupboards to throw together some sort of meal for the two of them. "Sorry, I haven't started dinner yet. I- ah, I had some homework and, wouldn't you know, I fell asleep in the middle of it and just woke up a little before you showed up."

"Don't work yourself too hard, Bells," Charlie said softly as he straightened up to look her over. His mustache was pulled into a slight frown that made Bella turn away quickly to hide the shame on her face from lying. "D'you wanna call in for pizza tonight?"

"Nah, I can whip something up easily," Bella said as moved to the fridge to see what might be in there. She absently waved him away from behind her. "It's no problem."

"If you're sure…"

Dinner was a quiet affair like it was most nights. The two of them would break the silence only occasionally while the main sounds coming from them were the scraping of forks and knives against plates.

Afterward, Bella watched the dishes and Charlie retired to the living room to watch whatever sports event was on right now. Bella wasn't really interested in sports, but she would sometimes sit in the room with her dad with a book or her homework and just simply share space while Charlie watched the game.

Tonight wasn't one of those nights.

Exhaustion didn't even begin to cover what she felt. She had never felt so tired, and she stayed up for three days once to study for the SATs when her school offered the tests(which she actually did rather well at).

After changing into some pajamas, Bella climbed into bed and was out like a light.

Morning came quickly, however, and while the alarm blared loudly on the table next to her, Bella couldn't find the energy to shut it off. Staring at the screaming alarm, she just looked at it angrily while begging her tired limbs to move and do something to stop the ear-splitting sound.

A knock on her door caused her to jolt momentarily before she turned to look at Charlie who was already fully dressed and ready to head to work.

"You alright, Bella?" he asked, all fatherly concern. "Your alarm's been going off for a while now. Is everything okay?"

"Yeah, just- I'm just not feeling well. I think I'm sick," she lied.

The words were bitter on her tongue, and although it seemed like Charlie was going to argue with her for a moment, his wrinkles smoothed out after a moment and he gave a simple nod in understanding.

"Alright, well, if you think you're sick, I understand," he said as he crossed the room and shut her alarm off finally. "Call me if you need me. You know what time I'll be home."

"'Kay, will do," Bella agreed easily while hunkering down under the blankets more.

Bed soft and warm. World cold and harsh. Here it was simple and safe.

Charlie paused for a moment before reaching a big, burly hand out and gently patting her on the head before leaving the room as quickly as possible to head out.

Bella just barely hid her smile at Charlie's sudden burst of affection, but when the door shut she couldn't help but giggle a little to herself at the shyness her dad showed at the action. It was… it was nice. She always knew Charlie loved her, he was her Dad of course he loved her, but it's nice to be shown and told that from time to time.

Bella smiled to herself as she continued to lay in bed a little while longer. After giving herself ample time to wake up, she finally began the cold trek to the kitchen for sustenance.

Phone in hand as she padded down the steps, she started making eggs while calling Alice.

Truthfully, as accident-prone as she was, she shouldn't be on the phone while cooking, but she spent far, far too long in bed and needed to call the vampire ASAP before she left the country or wherever the Cullen clan was planning on going.

The phone rang for an eternity as she scrambled her eggs. When she thought it was about to go to voicemail she heard a soft click on the other line.

"Hello?" Alice asked.

"Hello, Alice," Bella greeted as she moved the eggs around in the pan. They were just starting to scramble and she didn't want to burn them. "I need you to come over today. I'm skipping school and I have important things to talk to you about."

"..."

"Alice?" Shifting the phone off her shoulder, she ignored the eggs momentarily as she checked to make sure they didn't get disconnected.

"I can't make it today. Maybe some other time?"

"Oh, but Mary Alice Brandon, I have things you might want to hear," Bella practically sing-songed into the phone.

"How did-?!" Alice practically screamed. "Hold on, I'm coming over. You're staying home today, you said?"

"Yeah. I played the sick card and skipped," Bella answered. "And please, don't tell Edward when you're on the way. I want it to just be you and I."

"Alright, I can be there in about 20 minutes."

"I'll be waiting."