My apologies everyone, or you know those that care, that it's been a while since I last posted. Got a little despondent thinking that no one really liked it and that I should just stop. However, the reviews were fantastic and it's kept my spirit up and thank you to all of you who are reading and liking it and well THANK YOU.

And without further delays, here it is.


Day 6

First PPOV

Standing on the porch, leaning against the doorframe of the house, the contrast between the beautiful sunny day and the dark interior is astounding. The Greene's are finally mourning those they've lost and to see it, while feeling the days' heat, seems wrong. It shouldn't be blue skies, but grey and cloudy and raining.

Turning away from the scene I limp over to D, throwing my hair up into a bun to get it off my neck. The foot isn't close to being healed, but considering barely touching it sent agony through me days ago, this I can handle. Though that doesn't mean it should be used.

"Where's Daryl?"

She sighs heavily as her shoulders droop, turning my way with a frown. "He's gone hunting."

I blink at her, a heavy feeling starting in the pit of my stomach. "What happened?"

"He's backing of again."

"What brought this on?"

She runs a hand through her hair. "I don't know, the zombies?" she shrugs. "Seeing how devastated everyone was?" she sighs again, long and low, "I just think he's scared to get too close and then if something were to happen..."

I fold my arms over my chest and bite my bottom lip. "You knew it was going to be difficult."

She nods as she stares at her feet. "I know," her voice cracks lightly, "I just never realised," she clears her throat, "how difficult it was going to be."

I reach out and squeeze her shoulder. "It'll be worth it in the end."

Again she nods, but then she holds her head up and stares intently at me. "Once I can get him passed this hesitation, then I won't have to worry about it again."

"Don't you care how much danger Hershel put us in?" Shane voice cuts into our conversation. "What if they got loose?" He looks around at everyone, trying to gain their attention. "We'd never have known till it was too late."

D and I share a look. Most of the time we'd stand up to him, defend those that needed it. But he's not in his right mind. I'd been hoping that with him and Lori together then Rick wouldn't have to lose his best friend, we wouldn't have to be worrying about someone we're not supposed to. But it seems that it's just not meant to be.

"How long has he been at this?" I murmur, watching Rick's expression shift to something between anger and devastation.

"Too long." D mutters as Carl and Sophia make their way towards us.

From the looks of it, the others don't seem to be paying him much attention, just going about their business and separating the walkers. Shane eventually stops and just in time for the Greene's to emerge from the house, keeping to themselves except for….

"What's Amy doing with Beth?" D scoffs.

Amy is right by Beth's side, whether she should be or not, and Maggie is obviously trying to be strong for them all. Patricia, despite her distress, is consoling Hershel and Jimmy is hanging back from the three girls. Probably in case they need help.

"She shouldn't be there." I grumble, shaking my head.

Andrea steps towards them, her expression softening and tone gentle. "We bury the loved ones and burn the others."

Though the words are familiar, the little blurb having been uttered by Glenn what feels like a lifetime a go, they're not said in the proper context. Like that, we should be burying them all. Technically they're all loved ones; just none of us here loved them. I mean, how'd she feel if it were found out that a group of survivors burned her parents? Running a hand through my hair as I glance around, hopefully there's not a mind reader here. This negativity might be due to my lack of fondness for her, and the grudge for how she used to treat me.

Speaking of awful treatment, my gaze finds Beth and I feel my lip curling. "I've got no sympathy for Beth."

"Why?" Carl turns his big blue eyes on me.

"It's been how long since this thing started? And she's having a meltdown only now?"

"Yeah, but they thought..."

"I know," I interrupt, " they thought it was a sickness," my eyes flick over to Carl, "but can you really tell me that there's nothing wrong with them taking this long to get their asses into gear?"

"Maybe they're just not strong enough to handle it?" Carl shrugs as we turn back to watch Beth being cradled between Maggie and Amy.

"They need to grow up." I shake my head at the Greene's, "We live in an apocalyptic world now, she could put her family in serious danger."

"That's a little harsh." Soph frowns at me.

I can't help but shrug. "Perhaps, but I have no love for people who don't care to actually get to know me."

Carl and Sophia nod, "Fair enough."

How can people expect me to care for those that take what other's say as gospel? Hell, I once left a girl to be hassled by some jackass jock types at school. To be fair she kind of deserved it. She was constantly on my case about not being some small, size 10 social butterfly. My choices in clothing and colours were a problem as well. I was an overweight freak to her. Not that it bothered me a whole lot. My grades were better, my friends were real and could be counted on and...

I totally digressed.

Most of the burning has gotten underway, and from the looks of it Beth has fallen into shock. No amount of calling from Maggie, Amy, Lori and Patricia seems to bring her back. The two older women escort the near catatonic girl to her room, Maggie watching with clear worry on her face with Glenn by her side clutching her hand.

I sigh and with D following, take the kids to the porch to sit and elevate my foot. Everyone seems to go their separate ways, doing their own thing, trying to come to terms with...what? We didn't know them, sure I'm sorry for Maggie and Hershel, but we don't have to stop keeping our own moral up just because they've finally realised what we've known all along.

"I think the kids need to learn something." D grins as she drags the kids off, bringing me back from my thoughts.

I frown and watch her until I see Rick coming my way, then I can't help the smile that spreads. "Morning Chief."

"Morning." He bends and places a kiss on my head. "How's it all going here?" He takes Carl's vacated seat but faces me.

"Well, apparently D's suddenly worried about the kid's education." My smirk grows as I spy the brunette peeking out of the RV window.

He chuckles, though it ends in a sigh. "I can't find Hershel." He takes his hat off and runs a hand through his hair before replacing it. "Maggie seems to think that he's gone to the bar in town."

I eye him, and see from the set of his shoulders and the guilt in his eyes that he blames himself. That's not acceptable. I glare, really wanting to slap him right now; better yet I'll beat Shane into submission, which will definitely make me feel better.

"No."

He blinks and stares at me. "No?"

"This is not your fault Rick, and I'm not going to pretend that it's okay for you to shoulder it." I lean forward and grab his hands. "Look, Shane made his own decision, this is on his head." I turn my attention to his calloused, dirty hands and caress the back of them with my thumb. "He won't do anything about it, so you will." Frowning, my gaze flicks to him, "I know you." I sigh dejectedly. "I won't try to stop you," pushing my shoulders back and staring him in the eyes, my muscles tense, "but I'll be damned if you take on what should be his guilt. Do you understand me, Rick Grimes?"

He smiles and brings my hands to his mouth, kissing both. "I understand."

I fight back a blush, and huff instead. "You better, you have enough to deal with, I'm not going to let you believe that you had anything to do with that."

"And I appreciate it."

"So you should." I pause briefly and sigh, leaning forward to kiss his cheek. "Be safe, yea?"

"I will, wouldn't want to leave you here on you own without anyone to boss around."

I scoff, rolling my eyes with a smile tugging at my lips. "Please, I have Carl and Sophia."

He chuckles and kisses the backs of my hands again. "Of course."

I watch him and Glenn go, hoping and praying that everything goes all right. I'm vaguely aware that it won't, that something happens, but for the life of me I can't remember what it is. The sad thing is, D's memories are getting fuzzier with each passing day. She can't quite remember when everything happens or specific details.

Hours pass and I'm still on the porch. Patricia has given me a relatively interesting book. Not my genre, but beggars can't be choosers. Carl and Sophia are sitting near by with a deck of cards between them, chatting quietly to each other; however, Carl will look my way every so often, his focus on my injured foot. I'm pretty sure he's made it his job to keep me from using it.

"Have you seen Lori?" Andrea's question catches our attention.

"No," I glance at her briefly before focusing back on the book. "Have you checked the house?"

Andrea huffs, "I'm not allowed back in the house."

I can't help but blink at her, "Uh, why?"

She rolls her eyes at me. "I made a call that Maggie wasn't happy with and she's banned me from going in."

"Oh." I shrug and put the book down. "I can check if you want?"

"No you can't." Carl interrupts. "I will." He stands and sends me an exasperated glare.

I snort at him, grinning to myself as I shake my head. Although, the reason I wanted to check was because then I wouldn't have to sit here awkwardly. It's not like she's been mean or anything since my rescue of Amy, but we haven't actually talked or anything. We generally ignore the other.

"So...how's the look out going?"

She raises an eyebrow, "Fine. How's the healing going?"

I sigh and shrug. "Slow."

She nods, "It would be. You were on it and dealing with a lot those few days." She clears her throat and rubs the back of her neck. "I know it doesn't seem like it, but I'm...I'm really grateful for what you've done."

My head tilts to the side. "You mean Soph?"

"With everything; the kids, Amy, your calm is...well it's good to see that not everyone is cracking up."

I smile politely at her, as it seems a little out of her character. "Uh, thanks." I glance to the front door, praying that Carl comes out and she can leave.

Someone up there must have heard me, or he's just that clever, as he comes out shaking his head. "No one's seen my mum."

Andrea nods and turns, walking off. "You should ask Shane." I call out, watching her wave her hand in acknowledgement.

"Is my mum alright?" The worry is evident in Carl's voice.

"I'm sure she's fine," D reassures as she comes to sits next to me. "She's a tough lady."

He nods and goes back to Sophia, getting back to the game they were playing. Before long Shane's heading out, taking a car and leaving the farm. I can only imagine what Lori's gotten herself into. The fact that she's most likely gone after Rick, and Shane's gone after her, can't bode well for anyone. This isn't right, why can't she just be happy with Shane? Why is she trying to sink her claws back in to Rick?

"I think we've lost Amy." D murmurs.

I follow her gaze, she's sitting by Beth's side secluded away from everyone else and is glaring at Andrea. "I wonder what happened?"

"She's cracked as much as Shane has."

"Who knew that'd happen?"

"Daryl." Her tone is low.

"Don't lose hope D," I pat her shoulder and smile encouragingly. "I'm sure he just needs some time, the two of you have gotten so close. He's not stupid, he's not going to throw what you two have away."

"Is D alright?" Carl asks as he spies her sad expression.

"Yeah, I'm fine." She nods, smiling softly, if not a little sadly.

My focus turns to Carl, and I watch as he eyes D warily before shrugging. He's not as immune to what's been happening as he seems. He's spending more and more time away from Lori. He's either with Soph or I. She should be less worried about whose affection she has and more about her children.

"How's he holding up?" D asks as she glances at Carl, quiet as not to gain his attention.

I sigh and run a hand through my hair. "Alright I s'pose, he's still at the age that he needs his mum, but..."

"She's off worrying about who she's going to sleep with," D mutters with a shake of her head.

I nod, not sure what else to say. "I said my piece weeks ago, thought she'd gotten it. She chose Shane. But, it's like she saw me and Rick getting close and decided that she didn't want to give him up."

D nods, "You've picked up her slack though." I frown and raise an eyebrow; "You've taken on quite a maternal role with Carl and Soph."

I can't help but wince at that. "I never meant to. A mother shouldn't be replaced."

"It's not like she's doing herself any favours, she's pretty much been ignoring him."

"What about when he was shot?"

D raises an eyebrow, and crosses her arms over her chest. "That doesn't count, if she hadn't been there I'm sure everyone would have bitch slapped her."

"What about..."

"Loz, I see what you're doing. Face it, for sometime she's barely noticed him and when she does it's to chastise or berate him for what he's done."

I sigh and lean back looking past the two kids, who are still focused on their game, to the RV where Carol is. I'm a little surprised that she hasn't latched on to Soph, but then again she has become stronger. She's no longer looking over her shoulder, her trembling has stopped, she smiles more and she's freer with her emotions and affections.

"Wouldn't it have been easier if we were still gone?" I think aloud eyeing the people around us.

"What?" Carl frowns and turns our way, his eyes narrowed in a glare. "Why would you say that?"

"Don't get the wrong idea Little Grimes, I'm immensely glad that we're back here with everyone..."

"But while we were gone we didn't have all this stuff going on." Soph adds.

"Exactly." I nod with a grin.

He sighs, and his shoulders droop. "But you make it better."

"Oh Carl," I smile and fight the urge to pull him into my arms and cuddle with him. "I'm glad I do, but there are others."

"But none that get the kids." D supplies. "I mean, granted Glenn is keeping his head, not running around like a headless chicken..."

I snort, biting back laughter. "Can you imagine that?"

"Him running 'round in a circle, flailing his arms." Carl snickers.

"Dale's doing his best to keep everyone together." Soph pipes in.

Carl's smile falters, "But he doesn't know us, he wouldn't be there to back us up if we wanted to do something." He frowns and kicks a lone stone. "You let us have fun, while looking out for us. Something my mom should be doing."

"Ah petal." I sigh and move so I'm sitting by his side. "Things will get better."

"How? She's upsetting Shane, she's making dad miserable; therefore hurting you."

I pause at his awareness, though not all that surprised that he's noticed. "You're mum's a strong lady, but everyone eventually needs a bit of support. It's her time."

He shakes his head and stares glumly at the pack of cards. "I guess."

I kiss the back of his head and squeeze his hand. "I promise that things will sort themselves out. I don't know how, but they will. They always do."

"Really?" Carl glances my way, even Sophia looks unconvinced.

"Yup." I nod confidently.

Carl nods his head and perks up. "Okay."

By evening Shane's returned with Lori, who's clearly upset and a little banged up. Carl, the dutiful son, goes to his mother's side. She pats his shoulder distractedly as she argues with Dale and Shane, then storms off. The poor kid stands there awkwardly before heading to the RV. Mean while Maggie appears out of nowhere, probably while I was watching that little scene, though I'm surprised to see her without Glenn. She takes a seat as Soph goes to Carl. Those two are as thick as thieves, I'm sure they're up to something, but at this stage I'm just glad that they have each other.

My gaze turns to where Lori departed and I let out a long, slow sigh. "I'm pretty sure that she's going back to Rick."

D crosses her arms and narrows her eyes. "You don't know that."

"Don't I?" my shoulders slump. "She's been avoiding and ignoring Shane in favour of Rick." I lean back and shake my head. "And who am I to assume that Rick won't want his family back?"

"You and Rick?" Maggie turns to look at me, a little surprised.

"Not anymore." I sigh.

"Don't be ridiculous Loz," D huffs, glaring at me. "Lori just wants what's comfortable. She knows Rick's provided for her and her child in the past. That's all. She'll see that Shane's really the one for her and go back to him."

I turn to D with a sad smile. "Maybe, but I'm still not getting between a husband and wife."

"She's not married any more." Maggie inserts.

I turn to face her. "Everyone's still clinging to society rules, despite it being gone, and there's been no official divorce. Not many people, including them, are going to see them anything other than married."

"Please, Shane doesn't see it that way." Maggie replies. "And neither does my dad, and he's huge on the whole marital thing."

My chest tightens. "Can we not talk about this?" my voice is choked with emotion. "As long as he's happy that's all that matters."

"She doesn't make him happy." D counters.

Maggie nods "She's given him more to worry about."

"Even Carl can see that." D adds.

My mouth goes dry, "Please." I stare at them both, praying that they drop it.

They share a look and nod. "Sure." D pats my leg and leans back in her chair, her attention turned to Maggie. "How's it going with Glenn?"

While the two of them are chatting quietly, and gossiping, I slump in my chair watching the small congregation. Carl and Sophia are at the end of the RV, she's looking between Lori and Carl and he's staring at his mum. He eventually turns away, catching my gaze and walking towards me. All the while looking like a lost little boy. He goes to sit next to D, but I pull him into my lap and snuggle with him. His head curls under my chin, one of his arms comes to rest under his and the other grips the back of my shirt. I caress his hair and place a kiss on his head.

This depressing atmosphere is too much, especially when you add in the frowns and heavy hearts. Something needs to be done. We need laughter; we need smiles and the only thing I can think of is that one time when D and I were at University, and she let me walk around with mustered on my face.

My god that was embarrassing. I suppose it was deserved it. I'd been picking on her all day; from the moment our first class started, at 8'o'clock in the morning till lunch. It wasn't anything horrible, she'd been having a pretty clumsy day and it was only Monday. I just didn't let it go. So, after lunch at the cafe on campus, her a pizza and me a hot dog, she was smirking all afternoon. I was getting weird looks from everyone, and the cutest lecturer that we ever had was continuously looking at me. Seemed to be constantly on the verge of saying something. It wasn't until the end of the class that he pulled me to the side and told me about the mustard. D laughed so hard all the way home. I'd been mortified. Hadn't said a single word against her for the rest of the week.