Two days have passed since the farm went down. Two days of worry for D. Two days of trying to prepare ourselves for bugging out and two days of everyone putting in their two cents about where we should go. Daryl and I haven't forgotten about D's rescue; we plan, we hide a few provisions here and there in a shrub away from the others. We will have a pack ready, for when the time is right to go after her.
Daryl paces and growls and threads a hand through his hair. "I ain't leaving D out there any longer."
"I don't want to either. But we can't take off yet."
"Why the fuck not?"
Grabbing his arm, making him stand still, my eyes narrow. "Because we don't know how long it'll take to find her. There's no point in going only to turn back cause we don't have the right supplies. We need another day or two so we can form a decent plan and have enough provisions to find her and bring her back."
"Fuck." Daryl shouts. He pushes me away and slams his hand into a tree. "Fuckin Christ." He cradles it to his chest.
A heavy sigh escapes, "Brilliant Dixon. Now we're going to need time for it to heal." What a moron. Seriously, does he have to do shit like that? The medical supplies are in the RV, looks like we're heading that way. "Come on, lets fix your hand."
The big table we picked up from the road is set up in the middle of all the vehicles — best place for protection — with the map spread out on it. Rick, T-Dog, Lori and Hershel look up. There's penciled trails to Canada, back roads circled, parts of highways ticked off. The way to Fort Benning is routed as well.
Rick turns and steps forward, a frown etched in his features as he stares between the two of us. "What happened?"
"He had a tantrum."
Daryl glares at me. "Fuck you."
I smile tightly at him. "No thanks, you're not my type."
T-Dog chuckles. "No. The strong, dependable leader is your type."
"Oh, yeah." Paired with a long suggestive look, my grin is obscene.
Rick chuckles, and places a kiss on my head.
"Can we get back to this, please?" Lori huffs.
Hershel sighs and backs away from the table. "We won't be deciding today." He rubs his neck. "We don't have enough of anything to make it anywhere."
"I'll go check on the siphoning." T-Dog climbs through the jeep.
Hershel nods distractedly as he turns and steps into the RV. A frown makes it's way onto my face as he walks away. A quick glance around shows his girls are close by.
"Lori?"
"What?"
I ignore the hostility. "Hershel shouldn't be alone, could you please get his daughters?" To my surprise, her face softens and she nods, if reluctantly, and fetches them.
The three of us — Daryl, Rick and I — are silent while the Hunter is patched up. There's a faint breeze through the centre of the cars and the sun is beating down on our backs. The sound of birds and vehicle doors slamming are the only things we hear.
Eventually Rick's conscience gets the better of him. "I know you two want to go after D."
Daryl snorts, teeth clenched.
"But right now it's too dangerous, the farm is over run and we have no idea which way she's gone."
"I won't leave her." Daryl snarls.
We watch Maggie and Beth clamber over the truck and into the RV, keeping this little chat to ourselves.
Rick runs a hand through his hair. "I'm not saying we leave her. We won't. But we need a plan. We need a safe place to operate from."
"She might not have time." Daryl argues.
With a thick swallow and prayer in hopes this decision won't condemn her. "Rick's right." I pinch Daryl's hand when he's about to argue. "D's a survivor, she'll use what you taught her until we're in a position that benefits her."
As soon as his hand is bandaged he's up and gone. He won't do anything stupid. Hopefully. Maybe I should tell Merle to keep an eye out.
"He's smart enough to understand we're right." Rick takes the vacated seat and pulls me onto his lap.
"But he's stubborn and reckless enough to ignore it and go rushing into the wild."
"And if he does, we can't do anything about it." He rests his head on my shoulder.
I sigh and cuddle into him, while threading my fingers through his hair, and running the other hand down his back. "How are you?"
His chuckle is a little bitter, but he sighs. "Tired. Alive. Mostly tired."
"How about we go take a nap?"
He shifts and stares at me. "A nap?"
"Yeah. Everyone's got their jobs, and we aren't leaving today or tomorrow. You can afford to take care of your self Rick." I press a kiss to his lips. "In fact I'm pretty sure you need to focus on yourself for the rest of the day."
"Do I?"
"Yes." I lead him to the RV.
Inside Hershel and the girls and cuddled together. Though they look up briefly. I smile and wave while pulling Rick to the back where the bed is. Closing the curtains and pushing him onto the bed, I crawl after him and curl onto my side. Moments later Rick shifts and lies behind me, an arm on my waist pulling me closer.
"Just for a little while."
"Sure." I smile and kiss the back of his hand. "Whatever you want Rick."
Rick sleeps till the next day. Which isn't any easier than the previous one. But at least the leader of our motley crew is rested enough to take on the tension.
Daryl continues to 'hunt', though he and Merle caught enough to last a few days not too long ago. He's most likely scouting out ways to go to find D. Merle on the other hand has made himself comfortable in the back of the truck. He's got a good view of Lori and Carol sorting through the items we've gathered over the last few days. Coincidence? Maybe. Or, he has an eye on Carol. It could be my imagination, but I swear there's something there.
Carol's changed a lot since the massacre at the Quarry. She's come into her own, and she doesn't let anyone talk down to her anymore. Good on her. And Merle's changed a little. He's not as rough with her.
Herschel and Rick did have the map out briefly, but there's no decisions yet. We're still low on fuel, and D's gone. However, T-Dog does estimate we should be able to leave soonish. If we can all agree on a place to go, which has yet to happen. Though Canada's gained a few more votes.
Amy, Jimmy and Beth try a hand at scavenging, Maggie and Glenn oversee from on top of the RV. I've got the kids, and plan on teaching them what I know on scouting. It's not much, but if they want this job then every bit helps.
This gives me a chance to pull the kids further away from everyone else. "What has Maggie and Glenn taught you so far?"
"Always be aware." Sophie replies as she eyes our surroundings.
"Anything else?"
Carl stands tall. "Always be prepared."
With a pleased nod. "Good. Is that all?"
Soph shakes her head. "Be cautious and if you don't have to rush then don't."
"Nice." I give them both crowbars. "You will always carry around some sort of melee weapon."
Melee?"
"It's the type of weapon used in games when you have to move in close to an enemy. It's like if you had to go hand-to-hand with someone and didn't want to use your fists."
I smirk at the convoluted explanation and the bemused expression on Sophia's face. "Pretty much. In shorter terms, they're weapons which don't involve projectiles."
Carl pouts. "Glenn's explanation sucks."
"Yes, well. That's Glenn for you."
"Maggie's wasn't any better." Soph adds.
I shrug at her. "She's not a gamer."
With the large hunting knife in easy grasp, I lead them into the forest — not too far in. We crouch behind a bush and keep an eye out around us.
"Now what?" Carl frowns.
"We pretend you're tasked with finding more supplies. And, I'm not here. Think of me as the disembodied voice which gamer's get in tutorials."
Carl and Soph grin at each other. Their eyes sparkle with excitement and they shift on the spot. Both eager to prove themselves, and possibly even make up for their blunder back at the farm.
I grab their arms. "Remember, this is real. If it's too dangerous we bail. No arguments. If you become reckless and don't take this seriously, we stop."
The two turn sombre. "We understand."
"Good." I nod. "Begin."
The two share on last look, their excitement tempered with concentration. Carl looks through the bush and nods to Soph. She carefully leans out to look around the sides as Carl shifts so nothing can sneak up behind them. When Soph gives the signal — two fingers up and a wave — the two slip to a new bush some feet away.
I follow them like this for a few minutes, but tense when we come upon two shambling corpses. There's no chatter or voices we can hear from our people, but slammed doors and breaking glass is audible. The dead lumber towards it. Carl and Sophia stare at one another, with a nod from the young girl the two creep out of their hiding place. Before the dead know what's happened the kids have kicked them in the back of the knees and smashed the hooked ends of their weapon into the skulls.
Carl and Sophia huddle around the corpses. "We need to get in and out." Carl murmurs.
"There could be more around." Soph adds.
"Perhaps out of cover is not the best option." I voice.
The two look around and rush back to the cover of the bush. There, they take a moment. Carl keeps his back to Soph, so he can see what's behind and make sure no dead or living people that can sneak up behind them. Soph keeps watch in front so nothing can pass them.
"What do you suggest?" Carl chances a quick look at his partner.
"If we make another perimeter check, then we can feel a little safer."
Carl turns to me. "Do we have a time limit?"
"Before dark."
They make a sweep of the area, coming across more slow walkers. It's a deep concern. We wont be able to stay much longer. Despite what Rick says, I don't want to go any further without D. Too far and we may doom her. I understand Rick's need for a safe place to operate from, but still. It's D.
Come lunch, the kids are tired, sloppy and a bit over confident. They need a break. The two were amazing, but there's no need to over exert them. We go back in, Carl and Soph race each other to the RV — where the the food is — and I go find Rick. Who's on top of the RV with look out duty. I grab a bit of food on the way up to sit with him.
"Afternoon." I grin and plop myself on his lap, tearing into a chunk of homemade jerky.
Rick chuckles. "Charming." He takes a bite out of the other end.
"How rude!"
"My apologies Ma'am."
"You should be glad you're so pretty." I caress his hair and feed him a little more, then shove the last bit into my mouth and watch a few of the others.
Rick sighs and leans against my shoulder. "I don't like it when you leave my sight."
"Yes, well, I don't like it when you work too hard."
"I need to make sure everything is fine."
"You come to bed after me and leave before I wake. It isn't healthy."
"I know."
"Then please, tonight, come to bed with me and stay."
He chuckles, placing a kiss on my shoulder. "Yes Ma'am."
I pat his head patronisingly. "That's a good boy."
He shifts and catches my lips with his. I melt into him, relaxing against his chest. My arms wind around his neck to pull him closer.
"Rick, you're supposed to be watching for dead, not getting some." T-Dog calls out with a laugh.
We pull back, my face feels on fire. I giggle girlishly, while his chuckle reverberates through his chest. Rick smiles and rubs the top of my thigh.
Lori scowls at us as she approaches. "Why's Carl boasting about killing walkers."
Rick tenses and his eyes find mine. I sigh and shift so I can see them both. "I had wanted to wait a bit longer, a few moments of fun, relaxing, before getting back into the stress."
"You wanted to play house while…"
"Lori!" I clench my fists and take a deep breath. "Those two will make excellent scouts. But they need practice, and they were never in any real danger. I had their backs. Yes, we came across walkers. The noise," I gesture to what's happening below, "brought their attention."
"We need to move." Lori looks through me.
And here I thought we were starting to co-operate. "What is your problem?"
"I don't have a problem."
"Then why are you a colossal bitch to me?"
She blinks, feigning shock. "Excuse me?"
"Don't play that game." I scoff.
"Lauren." Rick tries to intervene.
"No, I have a right to know why everything I do or say is wrong. I haven't changed, I'm still looking out for everyone. I used to be able to keep an eye out for the kids, now every time I try she," I point an accusatory finger at Lori, "acts as though I'm about to offer them up as sacrifice."
"Perhaps the pressure is getting to her." Lori tells Rock, as though I'm not there.
"Lori." Rick warns. "Don't start."
"Seriously?" I scoff. "Is it because Rick chose me?"
Her eye twitches, and she looks away. "We were married."
"You chose Shane long before the dead rose."
"He's gone."
"Because he couldn't handle the pressure." I sneer at her. "And couldn't take your hot and cold nature."
"Let's take this inside." Rick butts in.
I look around to see we have everyone's attention. "Why? They already know what's going on, it's not like she's been subtle."
"For the kids." Rick pleads.
I nod and make my way int the RV. I don't have to wait too long before Lori and Rick arrive, I stare at Lori, honestly not sure if I dislike her, or hate her guts.
"You should probably go Rick. This is between Lori and I."
"Darling."
"Rick."
He sighs and leaves the vehicle. I turn back to Lori. "If we cannot co-operate then our group is doomed. I'm already stressed out because D's missing, worried Daryl's going to do something stupid and Rick has all the pressure of everyone's safety."
"You're stealing my family."
"Bull-fucking-shit." I throw my arms up. "You and Shane went behind Rick's back, before he was shot and the dead rose." It takes a deep breath to calm my anger. "You then chose him after Rick came back."
"I…"
"No, you don't get to act the victim. Rick is, but he does what he does best — accept and move on. I want Rick happy. You care more about yourself."
Although she's a little red in the face, she begrudgingly accepts the arguments. At least for now.
"Carl…"
"That boy spent weeks trying to vie for your attention. Weeks! You did nothing but brush him off until you wanted to — and only because you thought I was spending too much time with him."
"You do!"
"Because you don't." I fight the urge to smack her. "When was the last time you spent any time with him? Talked to him? Showed him you still care and love him?"
She looks down and then away.
"Stop projecting on to me." I sweep past her and out the door.
"Lauren." Rick calls.
Still too angry to deal with anything, I ignore him and keep going — over the truck bed and past an amused Merle. I make a beeline for the forest. I don't know how far in I go before I a hand clamps down on my arm. I spin, ready to deck whoever thought they could touch me, but Rick easily catches my wrist.
"Lauren." He let's go and cups my face. "Darling, calm down."
I look away, but he forces my eyes to his. He pulls me into his arms and holds me. "I just…she…" I bury my face into the crook of his neck and breathe him in. My body relaxes, my grip loosens and the anger seems to flood out of me.
"None of this is easy for anyone, and I know you've done your best to keep what's happened with Lori away from everyone else…"
With a deep breath , "Rick, I love you, I do. But I don't think you understand what's going on."
"Say that again."
I frown at him. "You don't understand what's…"
"The other thing."
I blink at him, but soften and take his hands in mine. "I love you. I have for a while, but it's never been the best time and well, shits been going down."
He pulls me into him and kisses me. We stand there until we can't breathe. We part, panting. "I love you." I whisper to him.
"I love you." He caresses my face and kisses me briefly. "So much."
"I hate Lori."
He chuckles before clearing his throat and trying to give me a stern look. "Darling."
"I'm just saying."
"Lauren."
I grin at him. "I love you."
