It had been three days since the sociopathic fourth grader had poured peroxide into Scott Tenorman's shampoo and since then he had not seen nor heard from the teen. Cartman didn't like that. For anyone else, this might be an indication that Scott had let the incident go, but not Cartman. As someone well versed in chaos and revenge, he knew that his older half- brother had something in store for him, he just didn't know what. The ten year had been cautious to check his food, lock his room, and hide his belongings from Scott. He knew he was going to get his revenge, he just didn't know when and how. This changed, however, on friday morning, when Cartman woke up and, like his brother, took a shower. Now, unlike most mornings, his mom had already left for work and luckily for him, Scott had already left for school, so it was just him and Mr. Kitty. This made the heavy set boy relaxed as he didn't have to worry about encountering the ginger despite not seeing him in a few days. When Cartman knew that the coast was clear, he walked into the bathroom with his shampoo and conditioner and turned on the hot water. Since he didn't trust Scott not to tamper with his stuff, he had kept it hidden under his bed since he had committed his dirty deed. Like any other day, the brunette washed his hair with both bottles and then mindlessly picked up a blue bottle of body wash. It was still early in the morning, so Cartman didn't pay much attention as he poured a large amount in his hands to cover the large surface area that was his skin. He rubbed his hands together and then rubbed his arms, legs, stomach, back and then finally his face before waiting for the water to wash it off. When the child regained his vision, he noticed that his hands were stained light blue, the same color as the body wash along with the rest of his body. Huh, that's weird, the fourth grader thought as he took a loofah sponge and attempted to scrub the stuff off his skin.

"What the… it's not coming off," Cartman anxiously voiced as he continued to scrub his arms, legs, and even his face until they stung, but nothing helped. Cartman's whole body was blue. The obese boy aggressively grabbed the body wash that he had used and upon further inspection realized that there was a crudely drawn label on the bottle reading "Full Body Moisturizer" and peeling it off, it read "Night Time Blue Body Paint." Cartman's mouth dropped in shock before pure rage took over, a mixture of anger at himself for neglecting to think about body wash, but mostly he was pissed at one person. "SCOTT TENORMAN, YOU SON OF A BITCH!"


The walk to the bus stop was an agonizing one for Cartman with a yellow scarf wrapped around his usually uncovered face, dreading the inevitable teasing that would come from his friends.

"Hey fatass," the ginger said, giving his customary greeting to his long time frenemy. When the overweight boy didn't respond with his usual defensive claim that he wasn't fat, but "big-boned" or angrily called him a "jew," all the boys stared at Cartman and realized something was wrong with his face.

"Look, I know what you're all thinking, but I'm going to ask you to just drop it, okay?," Cartman stressed.

"Dude, what's wrong with your face," Kenny inquired while pointing at Cartman.

"Ugh, why the fuck do I even bother?," the brunette openly expressed. Seeing there was no reason to bother covering his face, the fourth grader pulled down his scarf to reveal his blue face. A few seconds of silence passed before the other three boys erupted into laughter, Kyle's being the worst as tears filled his eyes. Cartman's face felt warm and had it not been blue, it would be pink from anger and humiliation. "Aha, Cartman's blue, very mature you guys," Eric sarcastically stated, trying to act unbothered about the situation.

"Dude," Stan snickered, "we told you he was going to get you back." The trio continued laughing until the bus came to pick them up.


"Jeez Eric, what happened to you?" Cartman huffed and pinched the bridge of his nose in response to Butters question. Currently, the two of them along with the rest of the school were sitting in the auditorium along with the rest of South Park Elementary. As a reward for them completing state standardized testing, they got to watch Coco. According to PC Principal, they needed to be exposed to "films with a protagonist of color and diverse casts," a statement which made Cartman roll his eyes, but not dare to argue with him.

"Scott replaced my body wash with blue body paint," Cartman dryly responded.

"Oh," Leopold responded before cocking his head up in realization, "wouldn't you be able to see that it was blue-"

"I thought it was the color of the fucking body wash, ugh!" Eric Cartman leaned back in his bleacher seat and put his head in his hands. Could this day get any worse? First I become a human smurf and now I get stuck sitting next to Butters of all people! I mean seriously, I might as well get struck by lightning again. At least that would be less painful than having to sit here with all these dipshits.

"Quiet down everyone, the movie is about to start, m'kay," the airhead Mr. Mackey said before turning off the lights. This is when things went from bad to fucking horrendous. As soon as the lights slowly dimmed, chuckles began around Cartman and Butters.

"What the hell are they laughing at, they can't even see me," Cartman wondered aloud as Butters nervously stared at him, "what?"

"Eric… I think you're glowing," Butters quietly responded, knitting his eyebrows together in concern.

"Huh, what are you talking about-," Butters pulled off one of Cartman's mittens to show him his glowing blue hand. The obese boy stared in disbelief at his hand before an epiphany hit him about the bodywash label, it had read "Night Time Blue Body Paint." While this was going on, news about the glow in the dark kid had spread and the majority of the auditorium was staring at him, some curious, some surprised, and most laughing at his expense. If Cartman's face had been pink before, his face was now dark red. This new development to his already crappy situation was the last straw for him.

"You know what, screw you guys! I'm going home," Cartman loudly proclaimed as he walked down the steps and out the back door.


Scott sat on the worn couch, disinterestedly flipping through channels before he heard the front door slam open. The teen straightened up in surprise and glanced over at his evidently pissed off brother, ripping off his scarf and his coat.

"You're home early today, little brother. I don't remember the school calling the house," Scott naively commented.

"Oh you know, it was typical day, except I'M FUCKING BLUE!" Cartman shouted, no longer in the mood for his brother's coy act.

"Hmph," Scott responded in a faux perplexed manner, his thumb and index finger stroking his chin. "Well, that's a surprise. I guess it must be the same shampoo brand responsible for my hair getting bleached, I tell you, somebody has to put a stop-"

"Whatever, Scott," Cartman interrupted, not in the mood for Scott's lies or excuses, "at least your new look is an improvement to your disgusting hair. Now your gingivitis isn't as obvious as it was before," Cartman smugly retorted. Scott's poker face slipped off upon hearing those words, his expression quickly contorting into one that more closely resembled his true feelings. It was a look that would scare any of the sixth graders, let alone all of the fourth grade combined.

"Gingivitis is a gum disease, not the reason my hair is red, you fucking dumbass," Scott snapped, deciding to no longer hold back. "Red hair is a recessive gene like blue eyes and freckles," he said, standing up from the couch, strolling over to Cartman. "Something that you did not inherit from our father, just like his muscular physique," pointing at the boy's stomach, "his money, and definitely not his love." At that point, the ninth grader towered over the intimidated ten year old. The younger boy was at a loss for words, a rare occasion for him. In that moment, the feeling from before had returned, the same one he had experienced at the bus stop and the auditorium. The feeling wasn't something he was accustomed to such as anger or annoyance, he could handle those. Instead, it was a combination of embarrassment and sadness because everything Scott had said about him was true. While Scott had everything from their father, Cartman had nothing. The closest name he could give this emotion was pure torture. As the words sank in, a burning pain began to form in his heart and a lump in his throat. While everyone else had made him want to scream, Scott made him want to cry, something he would never let him get the satisfaction of seeing. Slowly, the brunette took a deep breath and looked Scott in the eye before making one final statement.

"Whatever you say, you gingers are all the same anyway." Cartman grabbed his scarf and coat and silently walked up the stairs to his room, putting more distance between him and his brother than there was before.

Hello everyone, I've been experiencing technical problems with my traffic graph so I am currently unaware how many people have currently viewed my story. This will not stop me from updating on these dysfunctional brothers.