Note: Hey, guys! Was away last week, but here it goes the new chapter!
Hope you enjoy this one.
January 15th, 2004
"Harry!?" Tessa is calling him.
He raises his head from the elaborated recipe of the pie he's trying to make and yells in response.
"What?!"
She doesn't answer and after a while, Tessa enters the kitchen holding a thread that holds the balloons that he leaves at one corner of the room.
"What's this? Why does it have to occupy our room? I mean, I'm finally organizing those boxes you brought from the flat and I don't think-"
"They stay." He says harshly, his eyes going back to the recipe.
He's totally focused on it, but Tessa is still there and she clears her throat to get his attention. Harry sighs.
"What, Tess?"
"Why do you wanna keep these? It's trash."
A fury takes over him, but he controls himself, then, he looks at her. "It's not trash. And I do hope you don't mess with the ones in Rachel's room."
She makes a face. "Rachel's a child. I understand why she might like these, but I can't see why you-"
"It doesn't matter. I want them there. They're staying there." He looks back at the book. "Anything else?"
"This is about Hermione, isn't it?" She spits the words.
Harry bangs a hand on the isle. "It is!" He says, furious. "So what? Do I have to erase her entire existence from my life? Fucking shit! Before anything else she was my best friend!"
Tessa purses her lips, a glint in her eyes. "Something that makes you think about Hermione is not going to stay inside our room for you to keep remembering her. If you wanna keep them, so be it. But not where I sleep. Not where we fuck."
He runs a hand through his hair, so angry that he wants to tell her to sleep in another room, then. Another house. But he shuts his mouth and Tessa waits, defying him, wanting to see if he's going to fight her on this. Harry bites on his lower lip, his eyes on the balloons. Every time he looks at them he feels warm and good inside. He remembers how Hermione made everything better when he felt at his worst. He thinks about the way she turned his birthdays into something special and worth remembering.
These balloons are the essence of his relationship with Hermione. They represent how they supported each other. How deeply they loved each other.
"I'll put them away in the basement." Tessa states and he fists a hand.
Only after she's gone he exhales heavily.
Yeah, he thought that after their trip things were going to get better. He was mistaken. The instant they fell back into their routine, they started to fight again. If it were up to Harry, he would end this between them. Right now. He can't take this anymore. He keeps dreaming about Hermione and he's having a hard time even touching Tessa since that dinner. Hermione wasn't wrong when she pushed him away, but even so, it hurt like a motherfucker. Not to mention the way she was looking at Ron while at the table. With such admiration and respect that Harry felt his heart breaking. She doesn't look at him like that anymore.
And he misses her. So much. So fucking much.
But Harry doesn't end things with Tessa because… Rachel finally got used to them. To Tessa. To their life. And Harry can't deny that when he looks at both together, his heart swells with joy. It's the perfect image and he's glad that they're finding their way back to each other after everything. And deep down he knows that if he ends things now, Rachel will suffer. Not to mention that with the way Tessa has been behaving, she will probably want to move out with Rachel. He doesn't really believe in that, but he doesn't doubt it either. And that will start a huge fight between them. He doesn't want his daughter to be caught in the middle.
Regardless, it makes him sad. He has no idea what's not working between him and Tessa. He has no idea where their love went - if it ever truly existed. He has no idea why she's always acting so aggressively. He does everything she wants. He tries his best… and yet, it's not enough.
Harry shakes his head and, taking a deep breath, he goes back to his recipe.
January 17th, 2004
Hermione is observing Gustave's profile. The man is like a Greek God. Blond, strong and made in Heaven. He surely looks and feels like a dream. Yet, something is missing. Hermione doesn't know what.
He opens a smile at her. They're in bed. Naked after sex. She decided to give this relationship a chance. She decided to let go of everything, of every insecurity and shattered dream. As her therapist said, her life is now. What happened in the past led her here. And she has to move on. Nothing good comes from dwelling in the past.
So, now, Healer Gustave Laurent is her boyfriend. It's impossible to say that she's not enjoying herself. She is. Her life is good. He's good to her and they understand each other easily in most situations. Of course there are times they disagree, but it doesn't take them long to find common ground. And that's surely a blessing.
Gustave kisses her neck, his hand squeezing her breast, her hands on his hair and a smile on her face.
"See you later?" He asks when he moves to look into her eyes. Hermione speaks French but Gustave said that he needs to improve his English, so, he barely uses the French… only when he wants to seduce her. It's a joke they share.
"Sure, have a nice day."
They share another kiss and she watches him getting dressed. With another kiss, Gustave leaves.
Hermione looks at the ceiling and sighs. She has the day off and it was supposed to be another day with Rachel, but… no one even tried to talk to her about this. Hermione can't understand how Draco and Ginny don't find it strange that since they got back from their trip Hermione hasn't seen Rachel. She imagines Tessa told them something about her not being able to see the little girl. But the fact that Harry was on board with this is… what hurts.
She scoffs. Of course. Now that Rachel is with her true mother, why bother with Hermione?
Biting on her lower lip to stop some tears, she tries thinking about what she can do on this day off-
"Oi! Are you home?" Ron's voice comes from the living room.
She smiles. "In bed! Naked!"
He laughs out loud and enters the room with a hand covering his eyes. "I know I've already seen you naked many times, but I prefer you put some clothes on."
Hermione snorts and magically dresses herself with one of Gustave's t-shirts and some shorts. Then, she sits on the bed. "Okay, I'm decent."
Ron opens his eyes and walks to sit on the armchair that faces the bed.
"So, is Rachel coming today?" He asks with a smile on his face.
She gulps. "Ron, you know she's not coming anymore."
His face falls. "Hermione, you can't allow this! You need to do something about it! Talk to Harry or-"
"No." She shakes her head. "No. Ron, come on, I'm not going to have this argument again." They already talked about this many times. "If you also have the day off let's plan something to do together and-"
He rises from the chair. He looks angry, but then his expression softens. "Sure, there's just one thing I need to do and then I can meet you after lunch, is that good?"
She squints. "Okay, fine."
With a wink, he leaves.
Ron bangs on the door. He didn't want to apparate inside since… well, since it's Harry's house. But he can hear movement inside and he knows they're there, so, he keeps knocking.
It's Tessa - annoyingly beautiful - who opens the door. And her eyes widen considerably when she sees Ron.
"What do you want?"
"Nice to see you, Tessa." He opens a side smile. "I need to talk to Harry." And he takes a step inside but she puts herself in front of him.
"About?"
"Are you not letting me in?" He squints. "I can shout from here if I want. I can apparate inside Harry's room if I want. So, don't try to stop me."
She makes a face but takes a step back, however, when Ron enters, she puts a hand over his chest, her voice low, "You're not here to do something stupid, are you?"
He snorts. "If you think I care that much about two kisses you're extremely wrong." He moves her hand from his chest. "You're not the center of the world, Tessa. You should stop acting like it."
She's visibly hurt by his words, but Ron doesn't care, and he starts to walk inside, searching for Harry. Tessa goes behind him, on his heels, probably tense. Nice house.
He finds Harry in the kitchen, Rachel is also there, sitting on a stool and pretending that she's making fresh pasta just the way her dad is.
The little girl sees him first and she yells, excited. "Uncle Ron!"
Harry raises his head, completely shocked. But at the moment Ron's attention is on Rachel.
"Rach! My partner in crime, how are you?" He hugs her tightly, tickling her after and making her laugh.
"Mama Mi?" She looks over his shoulder, searching Hermione.
"Mama Mi is in Paris, sweetie." He puts her down. "I'm here because I need to talk with your dada, okay?"
"I have nothing to talk with you." Harry says, crossing his arms and leaning on the isle.
"I don't care, Harry. You'll listen, then. Rach, maybe you could play outside with your mama Tessa. Look, bubbles!" And he magically fills the backyard with huge bubbles.
It's what it takes for Rachel to storm out. Ron stares at Tessa, waiting. It feels like she doesn't wanna leave them alone, but, after a minute of silence, she goes after Rachel.
Ron pockets his hands and holds Harry's gaze. He came here with a clear intent, but maybe they can… mend a few things, who knows?
"Is Hermione alright?" Is the first question Harry makes.
Ron opens a smile. They're both idiots. "She's fine."
Harry tilts his head.
"What do you want, Ron?"
"Mate, look. Let's be honest here, we need this conversation and I'm ready for it, are you ready for it?"
"I just said I have nothing to say to you."
"I mean, what have I done to you, Harry? Honestly."
Harry snorts, shaking his head. "What have you done? Are you for real?" Ron only waits for him to continue. "Okay." His posture changes and Ron tries not smiling, Harry's about to open the dam and they'll finally solve a few things. "Since you first kissed Hermione you tried to keep us apart. You wanted her all to yourself like a crazy jealous boyfriend! And I saw the way you looked at me after the War." Harry scoffs. "We were all hurting because of Fred, mate." Ron sets his jaw. He already talked about this in therapy. "But you kept looking at me as if it had been my fault, as if it all-" He chokes, stopping and closing his eyes. "You were pushing me away and talking shit about me to Hermione, she could never meet me because you were always suffocating her!" Ron hates to admit that Harry's right. "And then when I started to talk with Draco you began to fight with me all the time-"
"Of course, mate. I was losing my best friend-"
"Because you were pushing me away! Because you kept forcing Hermione to choose!"
Silence. They were talking a tone higher than necessary. Harry looks outside. Rachel is still playing with the bubbles and Tessa is only pretending that she's not paying attention to them inside.
"Are you done? Is that all?" Ron asks, his tone serious.
Harry clenches his jaw. "I think so."
"Okay. Harry, I've done a lot of therapy in this life," He points out, "and when I ended things with Hermione and vanished-"
"Oh, yeah, there's that too. When she needed you, you left her."
Ron purses his lips not to say a few hurtful things. "I already explained everything to her and she forgave me, honestly, that's the only thing that matters, if you wanna be pissed about it, this is on you." Harry clearly wants to punch him, but Ron keeps talking, "So, as I was saying, I did a lot of therapy and I reckon that I was a jerk."
"At least." Harry says through his teeth.
"Yeah, so, I've traveled and experienced a lot and I've changed, mate, believe me, I have." Harry doesn't say a word. "And I finally know who I am. I finally understand what I want, what I love, what I wanna do with this life. I'm not that frightened kid anymore. The kid who thought he would never be enough for his family or for the girl he loved." Harry clears his throat, uncomfortable. "It wasn't easy, but you know what? When it all became clear to me, I realized something was missing." Ron smiles. "Hermione. You."
"So, are you finally happy since you got her back?" Ron can hear and see the jealousy. His eyes briefly go to Tessa. Why she's with a man that doesn't love her, Ron has no idea.
"Yes. I love Hermione. She's amazing and the way we reconnected makes me smile everyday." Harry fists a hand. Ron ponders if he should keep torturing him… "But we're not together, mate, not anymore. We're friends."
Harry's eyes widen. "But- you- what about all that talk of proposing and-"
Ron waves a hand, "That's in the past. We don't work as a couple. Hermione drives me crazy." Ron chuckles. Harry's expression changes and he seems more at ease, more… welcoming. I should have started with that, then. "But before I talk more about Hermione…" He walks closer to Harry, looking into his eyes. "I wanna apologize to you. I'm sorry for all the times I was a git. I'm sorry for thinking that you were the lucky one while I was just another Weasley. Mate, I know Fred's death wasn't your fault. I never blamed you, but I also didn't know how to act at the time. I had lost a brother and had to see my mother cry all the time. Hermione was my salvation from that hell and I couldn't bare the thought of sharing her. With anyone."
Harry seems shaken. Truly shaken. "Mate, I-"
"Let me finish." Harry nods. "I miss you, Harry. I miss my best friend. I miss our jokes and the simple way we used to talk about everything. I miss our banter and the way we were always there for each other, no matter what." Harry swallows hard. "You always were like a brother to me." Ron can feel some tears behind his eyes. Harry looks down, his chin trembling. "You're my brother. Maybe I lost Fred, but I don't wanna lose you too."
Harry begins to cry, his head down. Ron is also crying. He wished Hermione were there. She would cry too. It would be like a big moment for them to keep crying-
Ron is completely stunned when Harry hugs him. Tightly. Ron pats Harry's back and repeats, "I'm sorry about everything."
Harry is also patting his back, crying. "Mate, I-" They end their embrace. "I'm sorry if I wasn't mature enough to understand or talk-"
"It's fine. Harry, it's fine." Ron opens a teary smile. "I'm just glad we can have this, you know? I do hope we reconnect-"
"Of course! Yes, I want to, mate. You're like a brother to me too."
Ron smiles, and then he just knows he can't miss the opportunity… "I know. I guess you only got it wrong when you thought Hermione was like a sister."
Harry opens his mouth. And then, they start to laugh. Loudly. Now the tears are from sheer happiness.
"Yeah…" Harry trails, glancing at Tessa, still smiling. "Mate, sit, I'm making some pasta."
"Oh, I won't refuse food!"
Ron sits and they start to talk amenities while Harry cooks. Tessa stays out of their way and it's like he forgets why he went there in the first place. But they do have a good time, laughing and drinking some beer. Ron tastes everything Harry gives him and is truly astonished by how amazing his food is.
"Mate!" Ron says, "I'm sure Hermione already said this, but you should open a restaurant! I mean, Diagon Alley could use a good one."
Harry smiles, "Who knows, right?"
And just then, a patronus invades the kitchen:
"Ron, where are you? Look, I said we could do something after lunch but Gustave is ending his shift earlier, so, sorry, but I'm spending the rest of the day with him and probably crashing at his place. Let's have lunch tomorrow!"
Ron watches Harry. The man is white as a sheet. It looks like he's about to vomit. And since he doesn't say a word, Ron sends out a response to Hermione:
"Hey, okay, I'll allow you ditching me to be with your boyfriend. I hope you wear your sluttiest outfit. Till tomorrow."
Harry fists a hand, his eyes murdering Ron. "She already has another boyfriend? Who is he?" He sounds mad and Ron wonders if he used to act the same way when he felt jealous of Hermione. "Tell me, come on."
Ron chuckles. "Mate, we ended things last year, I mean, it was not even serious, we were just fooling around and this guy, Gustave, already had his eyes on her. They've been going out for a while and now things are pretty serious."
Harry opens his mouth but another patronus enters the place:
"Gustave sends hi. He said that he's glad my best friend encourages me to wear my sluttiest outfit." Hermione and Gustave laugh.
"Are you fucking serious?" Harry asks. It does look like he's about to blow.
"Hey, what's the problem? Last I checked you're here with Tessa." Harry grunts and Ron smiles. "Are you jealous? Well, I get it, Gustave is like the hottest guy Hermione has ever been with, I'm sure." Harry drinks his beer to stop some words. Ron is still smiling. Oh, this is fun. But then, more serious, he says, "You don't get to be jealous of her, Harry."
Harry nods, a sad expression on his face.
"I know. Why were you pretending to be together at that dinner-"
"I didn't want to crush my family's hopes so soon. Hermione played along." He lies, his eyes scanning outside, Tessa's still there.
Harry sits on a stool, defeated. Ron imagines that he's probably thinking about what he went through with Noah. Now, there's another healer to take Hermione away from him. Ron can't stop himself from joking:
"Fucking healers, right? Saving people's lives and sweeping Hermione off her feet."
A faint chuckle comes from Harry, but his expression is sour. Resigned.
"Is she happy?" He asks in a low voice.
Ron makes a face. He could tell Harry that no, tell him that she's miserable - a lie because she's not - and he should go after her. But Hermione doesn't want that, she already repeated this countless times. She keeps telling Ron that she wants to move on…
"Well, she is, mate." Ron sighs. "I mean, when I visited her this morning she had just had sex with Gustave-"
"Ron!" He bangs a hand on the isle. "Fuck."
Ron laughs. Harry sighs.
"I- she doesn't want me near her and I understand, you know? I just…" Harry shrugs. "I thought she wouldn't abandon Rachel-"
"What?" Ron reacts strongly. "What are you talking about?" Then he blinks and focus on what he came here to do, "I came here exactly to talk about that. Hermione is devastated since Tessa prohibited her from seeing Rachel-"
"What?" Harry frowns, his eyes going to Tessa and Rachel outside. "Tessa prohibited Hermione from seeing Rachel? What are you saying?"
"You didn't know?"
"Of course not! What are you talking about? Tessa told me that Hermione told her that she was swamped with work and wouldn't be able to see Rachel for at least three months."
Oh, now Ron's angry. Tessa is indeed acting like a fucking bitch to Hermione.
"That's a lie, mate."
Harry's expression changes, now he's furious. "I should have known." He says in a low voice. "Tessa is… she doesn't accept how much Rachel loves Hermione. And she's angry all the time because of it." He looks at Ron. "I feel guilty, mate. I feel like I'm the one who came between them and Tessa uses Rachel to punish me. Punish Hermione." Ron nods, it's not a crazy notion. "Fuck. I'll talk to her. And to Hermione. It- what I can't stand in all of this is that Tessa doesn't take Rachel's feelings in consideration, you know? Rachel needs Hermione. You have no idea how happy she gets when she spends a day with her… Hermione is also her mother."
Ron inhales deeply. The sadness in Harry's voice makes him sad too. This is a terrible situation in all senses. But Harry is a decent guy. He always were. Of course he wouldn't agree to this. But Hermione, blind by the way she thinks they have the perfect life as a family, was refusing the idea that Tessa took this decision alone.
He stays there with Harry for another hour, and then, when he's about to leave, he asks, "Do you want me to warn you when she's home? Without Gustave? So you can talk and such."
"Please, mate, I would… appreciate that a lot."
"No problem, mate."
They hug one more time, and before he goes, Ron hugs Rachel tightly. Tessa keeps her eyes on him but he barely looks at her.
January 20th, 2004
He waited a few days because he was still processing everything Ron said to him. Tessa lied to his face about something that she knows Harry wouldn't accept. And Hermione never hinted this, she didn't try to talk to him to clarify this situation. It gives him some anxiety to think about the kind of conversation Tessa had with her.
And he's so angry. Tessa went after this. Hermione is just living her life and minding her own business. So much that it also saddens him. They don't talk anymore, which feels like a huge loss. He made many promises to Tessa, and the way Hermione talked to him the last time they saw each other at Draco and Ginny's…
Hermione is not wrong in not reaching out. She has nothing more to say to Harry. They don't share a thing anymore. And she's happy with her new boyfriend. With her career and everything else. He really doesn't want to intrude in her life. He has no right.
Ignoring the pain in his chest, he watches while Tessa talks to Leonard. Harry can't wait another minute to confront her. Rachel is playing on the floor close to him. She's spending the day with her grandfather. Harry squints when Leonard calls out to Rachel. Saying her goodbyes, she goes with him. The girl likes the man. Which is a relief and a nuisance at the same time. Harry's still trying to adjust. If it were up to him, Leonard wouldn't spend an hour with Rachel, but it's not and he respects Tessa's effort in reconnecting with her father.
When she closes the door, though, she turns to Harry with a naughty smile. Then, she takes off her blouse and straddles him on the couch. He turns his face when she tries kissing him.
"We need to talk."
She looks surprised. "About?"
He squints. "Don't you have something you wanna say to me?"
Tessa widens her eyes and gets off from his lap. She looks extremely nervous now and Harry can't help wondering if… there might be other things she's not telling him.
"Harry, what's this about?"
He rises from the couch and crosses his arms. "This is about the fact that I have to see Leonard spending time with my daughter while you prohibited Hermione."
Her face changes and she seems… relieved? Then, she snorts, "So, she told you-"
"She didn't. Ron did." Tessa opens her mouth, but Harry cuts her, "You lied to me, Tessa. You lied and you're not thinking about our daughter's happiness."
Tessa purses her lips, her eyes sharp. "She's not staying with Hermione. I don't want Rachel seeing her anymore. It's only confusing to her! I'm her mother! Why should she spend a day with a woman that-"
"I think you should be very careful with what you're about to say. Hermione loves Rachel. And Rachel will always love her, why you-"
"Rachel is not reconnecting to me because of her, Harry! Hermione likes to play the part of mother and it-"
"Because she is her mother too!" He says through his teeth.
"SHE IS NOT!" Tessa explodes. Harry never saw her this angry. This mad. But he scoffs at her words. "What? Are you going to take her side? AGAIN?"
"How dare you, Tessa?" He asks in a low voice. She blinks, taken aback by his words. "Hermione has been nothing but a mother to Rachel. I was here when she had crazy hours at the Hospital and still took care of her. I was here each time she didn't sleep because Rachel was sick. I was here to see Hermione celebrate each new milestone in Rachel's-"
"Fucking stop!" She says in a high tone. "I would have been here too if it wasn't for that accident!" She throws her hands in the air, exasperated. "You talk as if it was my choice to be in a coma for more than two years, Harry! You think I wouldn't have done all these things? Don't be ridiculous! You put Hermione on a pedestal-"
"She had no obligation!" He says harshly. "She did all these things out of love! She did because she cares!" He's seeing red. "I will not hear you talk shit about her, Tessa!" He hisses. "I'm doing everything you asked of me, but I swear, if you try to keep Rachel away from Hermione again, we'll have a nasty fight. One that will be our last."
She inhales deeply, not backing away. He can see that she wants to fight, that she wants to put her foot down and have things done her way. But he won't accept this. Not in a million years.
"Rachel is my daughter." She puts a finger against her chest, her words carrying a final tone.
"She's also my daughter, Tessa. And she'll keep seeing Hermione. Or else, we're done."
"Fuck you, Harry." She snaps at him. He snorts in response. She finally grunts and says, "I hope you do know that this decision makes things harder for me. For us as a family. As long as Hermione is still in our lives-"
"There's something you need to understand, Tessa." He cuts her, now his blood is boiling, "Hermione is always going to be in our lives. She's my best friend. She's Rachel's Godmother. She's your cousin. These are facts that won't change. No matter what happens. So, stop acting like a spoiled child! You think stuff like that and your jealousy are not getting in the way of us working out?"
At last it seems like his words hit her. And the old Tessa he fell in love with appears, her expression changing. She puts a hand on her face, ashamed.
"You're right, I'm- I'm sorry." She tries reaching out to him, but he takes a step back. "Harry." She widens her eyes, scared. "I- please, I'm sorry. It's so fucking hard to deal with my emotions and everything that's been happening." She lowers her head. "I don't wanna fight with you too."
He grits his teeth. "I'm sorry things are so difficult, Tess. But that's life and that's the reality we have to face now. Do you remember what I said when you woke up? When Hermione practically drained herself to bring you back?" She closes her eyes, tears falling down from her face, "That we would live our lives from that moment on. But you're stuck in the past, stuck on things you didn't do while you were in a coma and-"
"And you're stuck in your unilateral love for Hermione!" She says harshly. "Don't blame this only on me, Harry."
They stare at each other for a long minute. Then, she walks out.
He stays put in the living room, looking at the floor. He doesn't think he has the energy to keep fighting her. There's nothing left to say. He knows they're running in circles.
Closing his eyes, he does the only thing he really wants to. Summoning a Portkey he has for emergencies, he programs it.
In a blink he's in Paris.
Harry knows where Hermione lives because Ron told him. And he walks slowly to the place. She chose a Wizarding Community this time. Pocketing his hands, he doubts his precipitated decision of coming. He has no idea what she's doing, no idea if she's with Gustave, if she's working or not. But as he gets closer to her address he realizes he doesn't care.
Stopping in front of a nice little building, he tries to control his heart. It's beating like crazy, wanting to break free from his chest. The one hour time difference between London and Paris is nothing and he can feel that she's home, probably eating breakfast.
A croissant. He smiles. It's almost like he can see the scene in front of him: her wearing one of his t-shirts and eating the croissant with a huge smile on her face, her hair a mess, her face still showing how sleepy she is, Rachel in her arms and-
He takes the remaining steps to the building, stopping at the entrance. Many magical houses and flats don't have a bell, those allowed inside can enter at their will. He wonders if…
Harry presses his hand on the door and it opens inward. He gulps, an immense joy taking over him. She didn't forget about him. Not completely.
Hermione lives on the second floor and he practically skips the steps while he goes up. His stomach is twisting inside him, he's even trembling a bit from sheer expectation. He hasn't seen her since that dinner.
But he falters when he reaches her door. Isn't he intruding? He has no idea if Hermione even wants to see him or- however, he has a good excuse to be here. He needs to talk about what Tessa did and clarify to her that he's not allowing this to happen, of course she'll keep seeing Rachel.
Taking a deep breath, he knocks on the door.
He hears voices inside. She's with someone-
A blond man opens the door. Harry has no reaction. They just look at each other. I should have asked Ron before coming.
It's Hermione's voice that breaks the tension.
"Who is it?" She calls from somewhere inside. The man doesn't answer. He's looking at Harry with keen eyes, trying to… comprehend what the hell he's doing there.
"Who are you?" The man asks, leaning on the door, not allowing Harry inside. Harry scoffs. Even if he didn't want to, the entire Wizarding population knows who he is.
"I need to speak with Hermione."
"Is she aware?"
"Who are you?" Harry spits the words.
"I'm Gustave. Her boyfriend."
"Harry?" Hermione reaches the living room. She's standing behind Gustave. Wearing a t-shirt that's probably his and some shorts. Harry loses his breath for a second, his eyes going from Gustave to Hermione. "Is everything alright?" She asks, coming closer to the door. "Is Rachel okay?"
"She's fine." He says fast, seeing the worry vanishing from her eyes.
"Oh, okay. I-" She shares a look with Gustave. "Do you wanna come in?" She puts one hand on the man's waist for him to step aside and open the door properly for Harry.
He nods, setting his jaw and hating the clear intimacy between them. And Hermione's place is so nice. He feels at home instantly. He recognizes her taste in every corner just like it was at their flat. There are many pictures scattered around and her smell takes over everything. He has a hard time even thinking.
But his eyes also catch a few things that he knows belong to her boyfriend. Shoes. A few clothes. Harry can't actually believe in this. It feels like Ned all over again… the difference it that Tessa is awake and he's here-
Hermione leads him to the small kitchen with a little smile on her face. She's not fuming at him but he can see that she's trying to be polite. That's about it. She tells him they were having breakfast and Harry accepts her offer to eat. He sits at the table with them and a strange silence settles. The only thing making a noise is Gustave's mug that moos like a cow each time he drinks. Inevitably Hermione shakes her head and laughs, the man laughs with her.
"It was a gift," Gustave says in his pretty good English, "from Ron."
Harry wants the floor to open so he can vanish from this world.
"So," Hermione begins, "What brings you here?" Her voice is soft, friendly. And her eyes are heavy on him.
He clears his throat. "I- you have to know that I only found out about what Tessa did recently." Hermione seems a bit shocked but not that much, maybe Ron already talked with her. "I had no idea she had prohibited you from seeing Rachel."
Hermione purses her lips and says something in French to her boyfriend. The man nods once, smiling. Then, he raises from his chair and kisses her. Harry averts his eyes.
"I need to go." Gustave says and extends a hand to Harry. He shakes it. "Pleasure." Turning to Hermione again, he speaks in French. She laughs. Then, he kisses her again. Harry sets his jaw. "See you later, mon couer."
She smiles and repeats the words to him.
There's silence between them until the front door closes.
Then, Hermione's expression changes to something darker. But Harry is insanely glad they're alone now.
"Tessa hurt me a lot, Harry." She says in a low voice. "I believe you when you say you had nothing to do with her decision. Ron told me you had a nice talk."
"I swear I had no idea." He says fast. "I just had a fight with her." Hermione swallows hard, their eyes meeting. "You'll keep seeing Rachel. This is not open for debate anymore." He snorts. "In fact, it never were. There isn't a reality where you're not part of Rachel's life."
Her chin trembles and she drinks some coffee to pretend that she doesn't want to cry. Then, Hermione nods.
"Thanks." She says in a whisper. "For… taking my side."
He gulps, nervous. Then, with some courage that made him a Gryffindor, he says, "I'm always going to take your side, Hermione."
She presses her lips together, moving on the chair. "You don't have to say that-"
"It's the truth."
Hermione surely gets what he's saying.
"Harry-"
"I miss you." He blurts out. "So fucking much. I think about you all the time-"
"Stop." She rises from the chair, going to the sink and giving him her back. "Stop, Harry. Fuck. I can't do this again." She shakes her head and he lowers his, staring at his hands, a hollow inside his chest. "I'm in a good place now and I- you're with Tessa."
"Yeah." His voice is low, "I- yeah." He whispers. Harry doesn't want to mess with Hermione's life again. Would she give up on what she has here for him? Now, after everything? After he indeed went back to Tessa? After he was a coward about it to Hermione? Truth is… he doesn't deserve her. He never did. He doesn't think there's going to be a moment when he will. She's amazing. He has no words to describe her or how much he wishes, from the bottom of his heart, for her to be happy. Begging now is only going to be… hurtful. And pointless. So, he only says, "I'm sorry."
She turns around to look at him. "You don't have to apologize." She says in a soft voice. "I think we've done a lot of that already, right?"
He nods, sad. He's sad. So sad. She comes back to the table and sits in front of him, her hand seeking his. He inhales deeply at her touch.
"You're right, Hermione." He looks into her eyes. "And believe me, I'm happy for you."
She nods once, then she tilts her head. "I'm glad you and Ron talked. It… it warms my heart."
He opens a small smile. "I'm glad too. I'm glad he went after me and I confess that maybe I should have done what he did sooner."
Hermione looks down and he squeezes her hand, he knows she's thinking about something.
"I'm thinking about… staying here. Definitely." Her words are like a knife to his heart.
"Really? Wow, that's… a big decision."
For a moment nothing happens, they just stare at each other. He bites his tongue. He wants to ask her to come back. He wants her in his daily life. He wants her sleeping in his bed. He wants her.
But he says nothing and Hermione breaks their contact when she looks at her watch.
"Oh, shit, I'm late."
Hermione starts to fumble with a few things in the kitchen and he knows it's time to go. It's time to leave her again. Time to face his choices. Time to… let go.
Without a word he pulls her to him and they share a hug. Harry inhales deeply, her smell filling his lungs. Then, he kisses her cheeks and her hands.
"Goodbye." He says in a gentle voice.
Then, he's gone.
