"Dude, this is so fucking weak. I can't believe I'm being forced to come to school on a Saturday," Eric Cartman whined against his car window.
"Uh, I don't know what the hell you're complaining about. I'm the one who's being dragged to your parent teacher conference," Scott retorted from the passenger seat positioned next to Liane Cartman.
"Now boys, this will only last an hour at the most. Afterwards, we can get some KFC for dinner. Doesn't that sound good poopsiekins?"
"Hmph, I guess," the heavy set boy begrudgingly agreed to his mother's openly blatant bribery.
"Wow, Eric likes KFC. I never saw that one coming," the ginger sarcastically scoffed as his younger brother clenched his teeth. I wonder if I could choke him to death like in that mob movie, the sociopath imagined wrapping a wire around Scott's neck from the backseat and slowly choking the life out of the teen.
"Alright, we're here," Mrs. Cartman announced in her usually cheerful voice. It was no sooner after she had said those words that the boys jumped out of the car and headed in separate directions. A car ride with one another was too much for either one of them to handle.
Inside South Park Elementary's gymnasium, a huge banner hung from the ceiling reading,
"Parent Teacher Conference Night" along with a large crowd of kids. Many of the kids, like Cartman, were annoyed that they had to wait in the gymnasium while their parents talked to their teachers. Meanwhile, others were happy to converse with their friends outside of class. Among South Park's youth, however, Scott Tenorman stuck out like a sore thumb. At fifteen, the teen was the oldest one there and was twice as tall as the average fourth grader. It also didn't help that Scott was known by many as "the kid who ate his parents, cried like a pussy in front of RadioHead, and became the insane leader of the Ginger Movement." No, that did not help indeed. Even from the snack table Scott could feel the stares of the younger kids surrounding him as he sipped on some water. When the teen first started receiving the leers, he had felt everything negative from devastating sadness to uncontrollable rage, but when he took over his younger brother's movement, he learned to feel a sense of pride when people stared at him. People could say whatever they wanted about him because even after everything he had been through, he was still standing and in the end, it would be him who had the last laugh.
"Hey turd, you're blocking the snacks." The ginger rotated his head in the direction of the voice and was surprised to find it was a girl with ungroomed hair, a perpetual scowl, and bulky headgear. "Didn't you hear me turd! I told you to move," she lisped through her metal wires. In response, the older teen merely stepped aside and observed the girl as she grabbed a plate and evaluated all the table's contents. Scott gazed at the brute in pink before it hit him that he had heard about this girl, but had never met her before. The brunette was Shelly Marsh, a seventh grader said to have the worst anger anyone had ever seen and she was strong enough to throw a piano over her head. In other words, she was the biggest bruiser in South Park Middle School, possibly in all of South Park. A smirk slowly emerged across Scott's face when an idea popped into his head.
"I should warn you there's nothing much you can eat there," Scott casually said aloud as the brunette fretfully looked at the food on the wooden top.
"Oh yeah? Why is that," Shelly questioned the boy in a vexed manner.
"Because most of them are hard, chewy, or sticky meaning they will either get stuck in your braces or damage them," the ninth grader cooly responded while Shelly merely inspected the snacks only to realize he was correct. Popcorn, apples, candy, all the foods she couldn't eat and neither could Scott. "I guess they didn't expect someone older than eleven to want a snack."
"UGH, why does this shit always happen to me!" the exasperated Marsh girl shrieked. It was bad enough her mom had forced her to come to her brother's parent teacher conference, but there wasn't any food she could eat during it. An overwhelming urge to grab the table and fling it across the room entered Shelly's mind, but she couldn't deal with her parents lecturing her about her behavior so she took several huge breaths. Scott chuckled to himself as he observed the girl's rage, it reminded him of his little brother's. How the hell did Eric Cartman wind up being my little brother instead of this girl? They're both brunettes, both rage machines, and both got screwed over in the looks department.
"Hey Shelly, what's wrong?" Scott diverted his attention to a boy walking towards the pair. The seventh grade boy sported a set of braces like the other two and his hair was a wild mess just like his female companion, however, he also had dirt smudges on his face.
"Shut up Kevin, I'm pissed and I'm hungry," Shelly answered.
"Oh, okay," Kevin responded in his country accent before noticing Scott, his face contorting from sweetly concerned to threatened. "Excuse me, who are you?"
"Well, I'm Scott. Eric's brother," the ninth grader informed him before the pair both gawked at Scott in complete shock.
"Eric Cartman?!" Shelly and Kevin exclaimed while Scott merely looked at them in surprise.
"You mean that fat, racist, foul mouth kid my kid brother always hangs out with?" Kevin asked.
"My brother hangs out with him too! I babysat for that fat turd one time," Shelly chimed in, physically cringing as she remembered the whole "Skylar" incident.
"Yeah," Scott confirmed before scanning the crowd and pointing to a boy in a red coat and blue hat, "that's him other there." Kevin and Shelly looked at each other for a moment before breaking out into laughter.
"That's a good one Scott. You really had us for a minute," Kevin snickered while Shelly snorted next to him. The ninth grader watched the pair as they continued laughing, unsure whether to feel amusement regarding their ignorance or annoyance from their stupidity.
"Well, I don't see what the joke is since he is my brother," the ginger calmly replied, his serious answer made the others cease their tittering.
"Oh yeah, if you're that fat turd's brother, how come there were no pictures of you in his house when I babysat for him?" Shelly interrogated the strange teen, one eyebrow raised in curiosity. Scott was becoming increasingly irritated with the pair questioning his accountability, indirectly insinuating he was a liar, and the fact that Shelly kept calling his brother a fat turd when she was nothing to write home about.
"Ah Jesus, do I have to explain this every time I meet someone," Scott sighed as he pinched the bridge of his nose before proceeding to explain how they had met to him moving in with him. After the teen finished his story, the only thing Shelly and Kevin could do was give Scott a disturbed look.
Meanwhile on the gymnasium benches
"Did you guys see the new episode of Terrance and Phillip...oh fuck."
"What is it dude?" Kyle concernly asked his wide eyed best friend while Cartman and Kenny continued their conversation.
"Kinny, there's no such thing as a smart redneck. That's like saying Kyle's a generous Jew. The phrase contradicts itself."
"Hey Cartman..." Stan called to the bigoted boy without ever taking his eyes off the sight in front of him.
"What is it hippie?! Can't you see I'm telling Kinny something important?"
"Dude, Scott Tenorman is talking to my sister and some other guy." The boys glanced over at the snack table and saw the group of teens conversing with one another.
"Dude, that's Kevin," Kenny exclaimed in a muffled voice, surprised to see his brother talking to Scott, meanwhile Cartman and Kyle merely stood in awe at the scene unfolding before them. Fortunately, Kyle's brother, Ike, and Kenny's sister, Karen, were lucky enough to be left at home with their dads.
"Unh-uh, nope. No fucking way," Cartman shook his head and got up from the benches and began walking over to the group.
"Scott!"
"Huh?" The ginger teen noticed his ticked off brother marching towards him with three other boys trailing behind him. This made him feel a sinister sense of joy knowing that he could embarrass his long time nemesis in front of his friends and their siblings.
"Oh hello little brother. Are you having a good time?" Scott sweetly taunted the furious fourth grader.
"Cut the crap Tenorman. What the hell are you up to?"
"What are you talking about? I'm just having a nice conversation with my new acquaintances, Shelly and Kevin. I guess you're friends with their brothers," Scott concluded with a swig from his plastic cup while the sociopathic fourth grader became more and more enraged.
"I don't need you talking to my friends' siblings and telling my business to any sap who will listen. As for you two," Cartman turned to face the seventh graders, "don't believe a word he says. This asshole is the most manipulative, sadistic piece of shit that you will ever meet." Everyone beside Cartman glanced at one another and stifled their laughter at the irony in that statement.
"Yeah, well what makes you think we should believe you over him?" Kevin asked.
"Yeah turd," Shelly interjected.
"Listen," Cartman sighed with his hand on his forehead, "I don't expect your simpleminded ass to understand just how dangerous Scott Tenorman is, but I just need you to trust me on this one."
"Urgh," Kevin and Kenny growled, both brothers angry that he kept talking down about their family because they were "white trash."
"Shut up fat turd," Shelly rebuffed in Kevin's defense, the younger boy's face conveying hurt from being insulted. Scott's smirk dropped from his face and he could no longer hold his tongue.
"Ah, Shelly. I'm gonna need you to lay off the fat comments, otherwise I'm gonna hurt your feelings and you won't like that. Like, I know he's fat, but I don't need your heavy foot stomping, wet troll doll hair having, headgear wearing, forever on her monthly looking ass insulting my brother without my permission. You got that?" In response to that comment, everyone stood shell-shocked while the teen merely continued drinking his now empty water cup.
"Oh poopsiekins!" Liane Cartman unexpectedly greeted the bunch as she strode over to them. "Mommy just finished talking with Mrs. Nelson. We can go to KFC now!"
"Okay, Liane. Let's go Eric," Scott grabbed the stunned boy's hand and quickly turned to the group, "it was a pleasure meeting all of you. We should do this again sometime," he cheerfully departed before the trio began walking out of the school.
"What the hell was that about Scott? You know Shelly could kick your ass, right?" Cartman reprimanded the older boy in the parking lot.
"I'm not going to have some fugly looking bitch insult my brother, no matter how much I can't stand him," the ginger teen replied, rubbing the circles under his eyes which had been there for months. Cartman looked away from Scott and down at his lap, Why would he stand up for me, he hates me! Or does he?
Elsewhere, in the gymnasium, the three boys and the two seventh graders quietly stood before Shelly broke the silence.
"Do I really look like a wet haired troll doll?"
"I mean, it would help if you brushed your hair once in a while," Stan nervously replied. Shelly angrily looked at Stan before quickly punching him in the shoulder.
"Shut up turd!"
Well, this is what happens when the siblings meet Scott Tenorman. In future chapters, I hope to delve more into the ginger army. I started another story called "South Park One Shots" that focuses on not only the brothers, but the other South Park kids. I am open to taking requests and if I enjoy them, I will write about them.
