At 7:40 am on a Monday morning, South Park Elementary's fourth grade class were sitting in class with no teacher.

"Dude, the bell rang ten minutes ago, where the hell is our new teacher?" Craig groaned, the nasally voiced boy sinking further behind his desk.

"I don't know man, first Ms. Choksondik kicked the bucket and now Ms. Nelson!? Who the fuck would want to be our teacher! EEK!," exclaimed South Park's biggest spaz and coffee (actually meth) addict, Tweek Tweak, in his normal paranoid tone.

Meanwhile, in the second row of desks, Cartman absently rubbed his healed lip. It had been three weeks since the parking lot incident and most of his injuries were either gone or almost done healing. Ever since the fight, there had been something bothering the fourth grader. For weeks, kids, teens, and even adults had been coming up to him and asking him how he beat a group of sixth graders unconscious even though they knocked him out. When people would ask him who beat up the older boys, he couldn't give them an answer.

Nobody believes me and Scott says he doesn't know. Yeah right! That lying ginger fu-

Without warning, the door swung open to a balding middle aged man sporting glasses, a button down green shirt and pants. It was a sight the elementary schoolers did not expect.

"Hello children," Mr. Garrison greeted the mixture of surprised and confused ten year olds.

"Aw man, I was just about to go home. This is weak," Cartman sighed.

"Mr. Garrison! What are you doing here?" asked Kyle.

"Well, the school board has agreed to let me be your instructor for the last two weeks of fourth grade despite them firing me since they are short staffed and most of my presidential pension is going towards lawsuits that cannot be discussed for legal reasons. Now, can I get on with the lesson or does anyone else have any dumb shit to say?"

The fourth graders silently glanced at one another while Cartman miserably huffed at not getting to leave early.


"Well gosh, I can't believe Mr. Garrison came back to South Park," Butters commented whilst he and Cartman sat on the latter boy's brown couch.

"I can't believe that cross dressing has-been is forcing us to do some stupid science project due Friday for a quarter of our final grade!," chimed in an incredibly pissed off Cartman .

"Ah gee Eric, it's not that bad. There are a bunch of things we could do for our project," Butters beamed while the sociopath gave him a dead-eyed look.

"Do any of these ideas involve a plant in a cup, a miniature volcano, some kind of battery, or dropping Mentos into a fucking bottle of soda?"

"Um… maybe," Butters sheepishly replied.

"Screw you Mr. Garrison," Cartman exasperatedly cursed under his breath. Normally when the class was forced to work in groups, he would join Kyle, Stan, and Kenny's group knowing that they would carry his share of the workload. However, on this occasion, Mr. Garrison picked out their science partners, leaving him with an obedient, but daft partner. For Cartman, this meant he would be stuck having to do some actual work.

"Damnit Butters, what is this, amateur hour?! Everybody is gonna laugh at us if we show up to school with some kindergarten science project, especially that backstabbing Jew rat Kahl! God why couldn't I have been paired with him? He and Stan are probably developing the cure to Cancer as we speak just to show me up on Friday," the narcissist whined into his jacket.

"Hey, what are you assholes yelling about?"

The two fourth graders craned their necks to see the ninth grader dressed in all black including his backpack walking down the stairs. Upon seeing the scowling ginger, Butters froze in terror while Cartman rolled his eyes.

"We have to do this gay ass science project by the end of the week and all we have are a bunch of lame ideas," Cartman huffed before crossly folding his arms.

When Scott heard the words "science project," the brunette could see it piqued the teen's interest. Scott furrowed his eyebrows in thought for a few seconds before a grin began to form on his lips.

"A science project you say? Hmph, I think I might be able to help you boys out…"

At this news, the kids' expressions softened, the duo appearing visibly relieved.

"You will? Well golly, thanks a bunch."

"Yes, I will help you, however, I need you boys to help me out first. I mean, I think that's only fair," the teen innocently glanced away.

"Ah, there's always a catch with you, isn't there? Alright Tenorman, we're game. What do you need us to do?"

"Well, little brother," Scott sweetly cooed, "As you already know, I build robots and various other machines not only for my organization, but as a hobby."

"But didn't you only do that in the video ga-"

"We do not speak of that!" Scott angrily interrupted before letting out a sigh, "Who do you think built that elaborate Chili Con Carnival venue with the rollercoasters, the rides, hell my jet pack?" The two boys stared at the ginger in disbelief before the latter angrily shook his head. "It's canon, alright!"

"Eh, okay," Butters agreed.

"Whatever," Cartman added.

"Long story short, I need to break into Dr. Mephesto's lab to get some parts for my own project. If you guys help me, I'll give you one of his experiments or build you guys something, I don't know."

"Break into Dr. Mephesto's lab? I don't know, that sounds dangerous," the blonde voiced his concerns. "Plus, what if we get caught? I'm not so sure about this… what do you think Eric? Eric?" When the child was met with silence, Butters turned towards the seat next to him and noticed the heavy set child was gone. Butters glanced back towards Scott and spotted the brunette on climbing up the stairs towards his room.

"What are you waiting for Butters? If we're going to do this, we have to hurry the hell up and get ready to go."


The full moon illuminated behind the swirling clouds as the trio approached the dark gates reading "South Park Genetic Engineering."

"Come on, twerps. I want to get in and out as quickly as possible," Scott grumbled at his slower lackeys.

"Cool your ovaries, Scott. This is our first time doing this," Cartman brashly retorted. Once the younger boys reached the top of the hill, Scott finally had a chance to get a good look at their disguises since it was already dark when they met outside. The ginger's face contorted into horror at the sight before him.

"Why the fuck are you two in black face?!"

"Da fuck are you talking about? You were the one who told us to cover our faces."

"I meant wear masks! You can't go around painting your faces… you know what, I don't have time for this," Scott scoffed. The younger boy rolled his eyes in annoyance at his older brother as the teen partially scaled the iron gates and swung over the shorter iron fence and bushes.

"Maybe he should be more specific next time, that smelly asshole," Cartman whispered to Butters.

"I heard that piggie," the teen responded, surprising both kids.

"Wow, he's good," Butters remarked at a tight faced Cartman as both proceeded to climb over the short fence and fell into the bushes.


Inside Dr. Alphonse Mephesto's lab, the boys strolled past the gruesome sights contained within the lab's walls. Genetically mutated gorilla-donkey hybrids, fruit shaped like a pair of buttocks, mutant sixth graders behind glass, and all the mutated animals with extra asses growing wherever they could.

"Aw man, this place sure is scarier at night when nobody's around," the soft spoken fourth grader uttered while the others seemed mainly unphased. The three continued quietly creeping through the lab, cautious not to wake the scientist or his adopted son and lab assistant, Kevin, while Scott sifted through different piles of parts, selecting the ones he liked and leaving the ones he didn't.

"Dude, what the hell did you need us for again? All you're doing is having us shove a bunch of crap into our backpacks," Cartman whined next to Scott as the two stood in front of a work table.

"This "crap" is what's going to help build my machines and your project, retard. So I suggest you act a little more appreciative," Scott snubbed his now irate brother.

"Appreciative?! I never asked for your help, you only offered to "help" because there was something in it for you," the brunette rebutted. This sentiment snapped Scott from his work, eliciting a ugly scowl that revealed his braces.

Meanwhile, in the midst of the "Tenorman" kids' quarrel, Butters walked around the room observing the different inventions and devices until he saw one that made his jaw drop.

"Oh my God," Butters muttered in awe, lighting brushing his finger against the rectangular black box with a few buttons, a clear screen, and a cord attached to its top. The blonde glanced back at the bickering pair and back at the device. I need to have this, he thought before abruptly lifting the only 0.5 gram tool from the sensor sensitive work table.

"How about you appreciate my balls in your mouth, you ungrateful, mooching, lying ginger!"

"I don't expect a spoiled brat like you to understand me or my feelings, but not everything I do is out of greed or vengeance like you," Scott refuted, the teen's words dripping with venom.

"Alright Scott, since I'm so stupid, answer me this? Why is it one minute you take pleasure in degrading and tormenting me and then the next you're sobbing out an apology and defending me from anyone willing to hurt me?" The fifteen year old's face softened and his jaw slackened. The point blank question had managed to catch him off guard all the while Cartman merely glared at him. Was this a rhetorical question or did he expect the orphan to give him an actual answer?

"Hey guys, look at what I found," the other child happily strolled over to the silent pair. "It's an accelerometer. I've only seen them online. They are supposed to measure acceleration, but I heard you can use them to measure the vibrations in a drum."

"Did you get that off that table?!" Scott pointed to the metallic table that was connected to wires, the panic evidently creeping onto his face.

"Eh, yeah, I suppose I did. Why do you ask-"

*Bing*

Light flooded the previously dark room as the ceiling lights automatically turned on from the triggered security system.

"…That's why "

"Aw hamburgers"

"Well, well, well," an eerie voice spoke from the doorway, the trio turned and saw none other than Dr. Mephesto and Kevin, both in their matching Hawaiian print pajamas. "So you finally slipped up I see. I knew one of these days I would finally catch you."

"Don't think so highly of yourself, doc. I wasn't the one who tripped the alarm," the teen angrily glared at the blonde child who merely looked away in shame.

"Such a pity you had to drag these children into your…um, why are these kids in black face?"

"Damn, how did he figure it out?" Cartman asked Butters, the latter simply giving him a shrug.

"Sorry Dr. Meph, as much as I would love to continue this conversation, it's a school night and we have to be getting home. Isn't that right boys?" The two younger accomplices nodded as the teen pulled a jet pack out of his backpack and put it on.

"Gosh Scott, you had a jet pack this whole time?"

"Don't question it kid."

"Kevin, stop them!" The old scientist commanded the tiny man before he began bolting towards.

"Run to the windows, boys," the ginger instructed as all three of them ran to the large windows on the other side of the room. Scott unlocked the latch at the top of the pane while Butters and Cartman popped it open.

"Kevin, don't let them get away! I want to see what a four-assed ginger looks like," the mad scientist creepily cooed.

"Grab on to me and don't let go," Scott cautioned the two kids, both doing exactly as instructed. As they flew out the window, the child sized man crossed the distance of the room and leapt out the building onto the obese child's leg.

"Hey, get off me you stupid midget!" Eric screamed, trying to kick the child-sized mute off of him, but that didn't stop him from climbing up his pants.

"Eric!"

"Dude, quit squirming so much! You're gonna make me drop you!" While the teenage sociopath's jet pack could normally support his own weight perfectly fine, four people was another matter. Even if two out of three were children and the other was smaller than them.

"Get off meh!" Cartman yelled as he began swatting at the pest with one of his hands, while the other held onto Scott. It wasn't until it was too late that he felt the cotton fabric of his brother's shirt slipping through his fingers and the mole man jumping back through the open window.

"AUGH!" Cartman screamed as plummeted several stories toward the ground.

"Eric!" The floating duo exclaimed in horror. Without much of a second's thought, Scott soared down after him.

"SCOTT!" Cartman cried out to the same boy he had cursed only minutes before. The only hope he had of not crashing into the Earth's tough exterior was that his half-brother could outrun gravity. As he passed floor after floor of the dreary lab, he clenched his eyes shut and held his breath, readying himself for the impact. It was only when he felt his brother's arms around his waist that he opened his eyes and let out a sigh of relief.

"Eric! Are you alright?" Butters asked, both conveying fear and relief.

"What the fuck were you thinking, you dipshit…" Scott scolded in a breathless voice. The seconds that passed felt like an eternity to Cartman as he stared silently at the two for a moment before resuming his sullen exterior.

"I'm fine, let's go home." In response, Scott simply nodded and began to fly back towards the brightly colored rows of houses in South Park.

"Thanks for taking us to the lab, Scott. Now I have my own accelerometer… Oh gosh Eric, I just remembered. My parents wanted me home before dinner time. I might get grounded for hanging out with you so late, even if it was to work on our science experiment," the boy nervously thought aloud while his group partner merely gave him a puzzled look.

"Whatever Butters," Cartman scoffed before glancing back up at the stone-faced teen. The brunette felt the older boy's arms tightened around his waist and realized that he was still holding on to him with an iron grip that he refused to let him go.

"Hey Scott?"

"Huh," the ginger turned his head towards the younger boy.

"Thank you… I know I don't say that enough," Cartman managed to muster, something that surprised even him considering he rarely showed gratitude to anyone, even his mom and "friends." Nothing was spoken between the pair for several seconds until Cartman saw his brother crack a smirk.

"Heh," the evil teen genius slightly chuckled, "no problem little brother." Those were the only words exchanged between the two arch rivals for the rest of the night, even after they dropped Butters off and went home. What else was there to say?

For those of you who were wondering, I was referencing the South Park "Tenorman's Revenge" video game. Yes, there is a video game about Scott Tenorman. Aren't we lucky?