The aftermath of the fight was a blur to Ahsoka. But having finished the repairs, she remembered watching Maul scramble to the cockpit before inputting coordinates to who-knows-where. Moments later, the ship launched free of the hangar bay before swiftly escaping into the safety of hyperspace. Against all odds, they'd done it. She had survived. But in truth, part of her wished she hadn't.
Now, Ahsoka sat in the passenger compartment of the Nu-class attack shuttle, curled up in a ball of despair. As a commander, she'd lost soldiers before- many due to her own tactical inexperience- but this was something else entirely. However she tried to justify it, one simple fact remained- it was by her own hands that the killing blow to Rex had been dealt. Not indirectly, or by some enemy combatant. Not by Sidious, as Rex had tried desperately to convince her. It was by her hands. But Ahsoka's tears had long since dried out, leaving her with a more hollow and persistent feeling of hopelessness.
At times like these, her master would always be there to comfort her. But like Rex, Anakin was gone. Ahsoka could no longer feel that familiar presence in her mind, that ever-present reminder that no matter what, she would be okay. In just a day, everything she cared about had been taken from her. She'd lost her Republic. She'd lost her Order. She'd lost her friends. She'd lost her master. As the galaxy itself seemed to be collapsing around her, Ahsoka never felt more alone. But as she closed her eyes, desperate to feel some remaining trace of her master, she heard a voice.
"Hey, Snips."
Ahsoka's breathing hitched as she flicked upon her eyes. Crouching in front of her, his reassuring hand resting on her shoulder, was her former master. She looked up at Anakin's face and shook her head, sadly.
"You're just a memory. I know my master is gone. There's so much I wish I could tell him. So much I wish I could ask him. But I… I…"
"What's on your mind? Talk to me, Snips. I'm here for you."
"…I'm so... so sorry for leaving you, master. If I hadn't left, then maybe you'd still be alive. Maybe I could have saved you, maybe-"
"It's not your fault. You couldn't have known what would happen."
Ahsoka's voice took on an uncharacteristic rage.
"Don't make excuses for me. The truth is, I left the Jedi Order because I was selfish. I abandoned you!"
Her voice weakened as the tears returned.
"…and Rex… he told me not to blame myself… but who else is there to blame?! I was the one who stabbed him through the back. No words… no rationalisation can change that fact. It's all my fault. I shouldn't even be alive right now. I should have just…"
She lowered her head, averting her eyes from her master's gaze.
"Don't talk like that, Ahsoka. You know how I felt about the Order… You know I never blamed you for wanting to leave. And as for Rex… Up until his final breath, there wasn't a doubt in his mind as to whether you'd done the right thing. You were put in an impossible situation, forced to choose between the life of your friend and the greater good. But even in such dire circumstances, you were able to make that difficult but necessary choice."
"'Greater good'?! The Republic has turned into an instrument of evil and the Jedi Order is dead! There is nothing left to fight for. No 'greater good', no end to the war. There's no point."
"You don't mean that."
"Yes, master, I do. I'm done. I give up. Because no matter what I do, no matter how hard I fight… I can't undo what's already been done. Even if I win, I can't bring you or him or anyone else back. You're gone. Nothing… nothing can change that now."
The apparition of Anakin nodded.
"We're gone and nothing can change that. But everything we stood for, everything we fought for, now lives in you. Rex was willing to die so that you could live. He never stopped believing in you, and neither did I. So please, don't stop believing in yourself. If you give up, then Rex's death… my death… would be in vain."
Ahsoka's body language became increasingly defensive. Despite what she'd said, she wanted to believe there was still hope. But against the very evil that had consumed the Jedi Order, what chance did she have?
"I can't do it. You all trusted me, and I failed you. Who's to say that I wouldn't fail you again?!"
Anakin shook his head.
"I don't expect you not to fail. The enemy you face is something neither I, nor the Council, nor even Master Yoda could defeat. But take heart, little one, for failure is how we learn to be better. In the war to come, you will have to make many hard decisions. Sometimes you'll be right, and sometimes you'll be wrong. What matters is that you keep going, and keep fighting. Because someday, I know you will be victorious."
Anakin and Rex had given her their faith, their trust, and in one way or another, their life. But why? What made her so special? Ahsoka looked up at Anakin, the bewilderment visible in her eyes.
"How can you know that? How can you be so confident that I'll be able to defeat Sidious?!"
Anakin flashed Ahsoka one of his characteristic, playful smiles.
"I thought that'd be obvious, Snips! Did you forget whose Padawan you are? "
Ahsoka chuckled slightly and a bittersweet smile spread across her face.
"I'll miss you, Anakin."
"I'll miss you too."
Suddenly, Ahsoka stood up, before wrapping Anakin in a tight embrace. She could feel the sensation, the warmth- as if Anakin had truly been standing before her eyes. Before fading, the apparition patted Ahsoka on the head softly.
"I'm proud of you, Snips."
