The day before Mateo's birthday, Santana took him to go pick out a few last minute snacks. She was sure they had way more than enough, but if you couldn't go overboard on your birthday what was the point? So as Brittany made dinner, she and Mateo jumped in the car and headed to the store closest to their house. It took Mateo ten seconds to discover that the store didn't have the specific sweets he was looking for. Santana tried to ask him what they were called, but he couldn't remember the name, just what they looked like. She was prepared to tell him to just pick what was there, but then he looked up at her with hopeful eyes, and asked so sweetly if they could go check another store, and Santana found herself agreeing.
They checked three stores, none of which had the sweets Mateo wanted. Santana didn't complain, having decided after agreeing to go to the second store that she would let Mateo be the one to give up the hunt. Annoying as it was, it wasn't like Santana had anywhere she needed to be. She'd give him till Brittany called to look for them.
"Not here?" She asked as she caught up with him in the sweets aisle at the Safeway several blocks from their house.
"No." He stomped his foot in frustration.
"Is it a gummy type of sweet? Or…"
"No." He shook his head. "More like a…cookie?"
He didn't seem sure about his description.
"Like an oreo?"
He pursed his lips and shook his head. "No."
"Like what then?"
"Like…It has different kinds. It has chocolate."
"Okay?" Santana frowned, having nothing pop into her head.
"I'll know it when I see it?" Mateo said with with determination. "I just need to find it!"
"Have we bought it before?" Santana asked.
He nodded. "Mama's birthday."
Santana quickly ran through the sweets she'd ordered for Brittany's birthday, only to stop just as quickly when she remembered that Eve had taken care of food and snacks. She tried to think of what had been on the dessert table but there had been a lot of candy.
"Where else?"
"I don't know." He pouted.
"Okay." She crouched down in front of him. "It's okay, we can keep checking."
"Okay." He said, looking relieved.
So to two more shops they went. At this point Santana had exhausted all her usual shopping locations, so she searched 'grocery stores near me' on her phone and chose the first thing that popped up.
"It's like we're on a treasure hunt." Mateo said excitedly from the backseat.
"Yeah." Santana giggled. "Here you take my phone and give me directions." She handed him her phone.
It turned into a really nice little outing. Santana eventually got hungry, so she pulled into a bakery that seemed about to close to buy a croissant.
"THERE! THERE! THERE!" Mateo screamed, rushing to an aisle in the bakery and picking a container. "I found it!"
Santana picked the container, feeling laughter bubble inside her. She could hardly breathe, laughing so hard she felt weak.
"What?" Mateo asked, giggling along. "Why are you laughing?"
"Chocolate covered-chocolate…oh god."
Santana gasped for air, trying to take deep breaths to calm down.
"Chocolate covered pretzels!"
"Oh." Mateo looked sheepishly at the container in her hand. "I forgot."
"NIKI!"
She couldn't believe that she'd been dragged all around town for chocolate covered pretzels. She knew half a dozen places they could have gotten them much closer to home.
"Sorry!" He giggled, picking as many containers as he could carry. "I forgot."
"You forgot what a pretzel is?"
"Yeah."
"Increíble." She shook her head. "Come on silly, carry your cookies to the till."
"I knew they weren't cookies. Even when I said it I was thinking cookies wasn't really right, but I forgot how to describe it."
Santana ran her fingers through his hair, pushing it away from his forehead, then she gripped it tighter and used it to pull his head back gently so he was looking up at her.
"You, are silly."
He grinned cheekily at her.
"Thanks mami."
She blew him a kiss then let go of his hair.
"Let's go pay, mama will be wondering where we went."
When she turned to head to the cashier, she noticed a tall blonde man watching them. He was skinny, almost unnaturally so, like he'd lost too much weight and some muscle with it, leaving him looking diminished. His clothes, simple jeans and a t-shirt, sat awkwardly on his frame. She would have found it weird that he was just smiling at them, but the two cashiers behind the counter were smiling as well.
"Cute kid." He said, nodding to Mateo, who was struggling to walk and not drop the nearly ten containers piled in his arms.
"Thanks." Santana smiled.
"Here, let me help you little man."
Santana was about to say that he was fine, but the man was already approaching them, Mateo gratefully holding his arms out.
"You must be a really good boy." One of the cashiers said, as the man transferred the pretzels onto the counter. "If your mum is letting you get all this candy."
Mateo, still grinning, nodded.
"I am."
"Also, it's a special occasion." Santana said, wanting them to know that she didn't just reward good behaviour with stacks of sweets.
"What's the special occasion?" The man asked, finally having unloaded enough containers that Mateo could dump the rest without fear of dropping them.
"My birthday!" Mateo squealed.
"Oh wow! Today?" The cashier asked.
"Tomorrow." Santana answered.
"Lucky you." The other cashier smiled. "How old are you turning?"
"Seven."
"A big man." The man said. "Well happy birthday."
"Thanks." Mateo's grin widened impossibly.
"$60.32" The first casher said to Santana. As she dug her wallet out of her purse, Santana looked down at Mateo.
"Is that it Niki?"
"Can I get a few more?"
"Yeah." She nodded.
"Yes!" He cheered, before rushing to get more.
"His favourite?" The cashier asked with an eyebrow raised in amusement.
"As far as I know, he's only eaten them once before. He didn't even know what they were called." Santana laughed.
"But they're chocolate covered." The cashier said, like this explained everything.
"Yeah." Santana shrugged, looking back at Mateo. He had changed tactics, now having stacked the containers up until his chin, which he was using to support them. He walked carefully, with his tongue poking out. She couldn't help but smile. God she loved this boy. "Did you get enough?" She teased.
He didn't speak until he'd dropped them onto the counter. "That's all of them." He smirked up at her.
Santana's mouth dropped open as both cashiers laughed.
"Tienes suerte te amo."
He launched himself at her, wrapping his arms and legs around her and nearly toppling them both to the floor.
"I love you too mami." He said, pressing his face into her.
Santana ignored the 'aawws' coming from the two cashiers, and lifted Mateo higher so he was sitting properly on her waist. He kissed her.
"Thank you."
"You're welcome baby." She kissed him again then kissed his cheek then his forehead.
"So sweet!" One cashier said, her voice high and slightly annoying, like Mateo's sweetness might kill her. Santana just laughed, putting Mateo back down.
"If there's nothing else, let's go home, we're almost late for dinner."
"Here." The other cashier said, putting a few cake pops in a bag and handing them to Mateo. "On the house."
"What's that mean?" Mateo asked.
"Free." Santana told him, ruffling his hair.
"Really?" He asked with wide eyes. "How come?"
"Happy birthday." The cashier said. Mateo was back to grinning.
"Thank you." Santana said, taking out her card.
"Our pleasure."
When they'd paid and their stuff was packed, Santana was feeling more than ready to get home. They waved at the cashiers, promising to come back, then Mateo grabbed all the bags. Just as they turned to walk to the door, the blonde man who'd helped them earlier approached the cashier with his own shopping.
"Done buying the whole shop?" He asked Mateo, chuckling.
"Yeah." Mateo laughed. "Thanks for helping me."
"You're welcome."
"Let's go papi." Santana said, placing her hand on his back. Her phone vibrated in her pocket, and when she pulled it out it showed Brittany calling. "See mama's calling. We're late."
"Bye." Mateo said, unable to wave since his hands were full, but he smiled. Then he and Santana walked out.
"Hey B," Santana said, answering the phone and pushing open the door so Mateo could walk through. "We're on the way home now. You should know that your son is cray."
"We found it mama!" Mateo yelled, just as the door to the bakery slammed shut behind them.
The party started at eleven, most kids arrived by 12 and by twelve thirty everything was in full swing.
There were over twenty kids, some from his school, some from Tae Kwondo class, then there was Kyler, Sophia and Jesús' friends, family, and the parents who didn't want to leave their kids. A lot of people basically, and the main reason Santana didn't want to have the party at their house.
Everything was going well, if the fact that Mateo hadn't stopped smiling since arriving was any indication. He kept coming by the tent they'd set up for parents, food and the cake to check on the every growing pile of presents, but otherwise he didn't seem to even rememeber that Santana and Brittany were there.
Despite the number of people, Santana could only focus on one. The one who wasn't there. She hadn't been able to call her abuela, but she'd called her dad and told him to extend the invitation. He promised he would. Her parents had flown in the night before and were at the park before Santana and Brittany, but her abuela was not there. Santana hadn't asked where she was. She couldn't handle the disappointment of hearing that her grandmother had turned down the invitation, no matter the reason.
So she threw herself into the party, wrangling kids and socializing with parents she barely knew and checking in with the caterer. It was Susan who finally forced her to slow down.
"Santana come have a seat." Susan said, pulling Santana onto a chair beside her and not really giving her a choice. "This is a great party."
"Thanks."
"I'm personally a big fan of the dinosaurs."
"Yeah he loves them so…" Santana looked around at the life sized dinosaurs, some constructed others blow up balloons that she'd gotten to decorate the park. "You should have seen his face when we arrived."
"Oh I can imagine." Susan smiled. "I can't believe he's already seven."
"You and me both." Santana sighed. She liked to give Brittany a hard time for always getting emotional about their kids growing up, but it was hitting her too.
"I remember when he was just a bald little baby." Susan laughed. "Now look at that wild hair."
Santana chuckled, eyes searching till she found Mateo running frantically, one hand holding firmly to Jordan's, his best friend, with his hair sticking up in every direction. She shook her head.
"Yup." She said. "I'm still trying to decide how long to let him grow it. I don't even think he can see."
"If it were up to me I would have already cut it."
Santana's eyes widened as she turned to Susan.
Susan smiled, shrugging. "He's very cute of course, but it's messy."
"Well…" Santana couldn't argue with that. The tight curl pattern of his hair made it look much wilder than Jesús or Kyler's, even though theirs was longer than his. "He's only seven, and if it grows out a bit maybe I can at least tie it…"
She wasn't hopeful that tying it back would really help, because the short hair in the front would still stick out. That was a problem for a later date.
"Now that I'm here, I can ask you," Susan leaned forward, placing a hand on Santana's knee. "Are we really going camping?"
Santana sighed again. "Can you believe it?"
Susan's eyebrows rose in shock, but she simply nodded.
"Well Pierce is excited. He thinks it's about time really."
"I love Pierce but if he decides to make this a regular thing, he's going to have to go without me."
"A boy's trip." Susan suggested.
Santana nodded happily.
"That's an excellent idea."
"Mum." Jesús came running into the tent, looking wildly around. When he finally spotted her, he ran over. "Mama said I should come get you quickly."
"Why, what's happened?"
Jesús shrugged.
"She said I should take you to her."
Santana's heart began to thud in her chest.
"Where is she?"
"Near the entrance." He reached forward and took her hand. "Come on mami, stand up. She said should be quick."
Santana allowed him to pull her to her feet, casting a fleeting glance at Susan.
"Everything okay?" Susan asked.
Santana nodded. She'd been afraid long enough. She quelled the panic trying to claw at her chest and took a breath. The tables had turned, now she was the one with the power. Her grandmother was here seeking her approval and forgiveness, not the other way around. She had nothing to be afraid of.
"Let's go." She nodded at Jesús.
The entire walk there, Santana thought of what to say, or even just how to act. Was she going to hug her abuela? Shake her hand? Would she say it was good to see her? That she was happy she came? That felt a bit too eager. Of course she was glad she had come, but did her abuela need to know that? It seemed safer to let her abuela speak first, gauge her attitude, then Santana could decide how to act.
She saw her grandmother from several miles away, hovering at the entrance to the park with who even from this distance, and the fact that her back was turned, Santana could tell was Brittany. She looked old. Everything from her posture to the greying of her hair made her look older than Santana ever thought possible. This was absolutely not the abuela she had grown up idolizing. There was an unexpected pang of something like longing in Santana's chest. She wished she could have made up with that version of her grandmother, the one whose love and approval she had spent her whole childhood chasing. Though the reality was probably that the formidable lady who had molded Santana was the same one too stubborn to accept her. So she supposed it was better that lady wasn't here.
Her grandmother finally caught sight of her approaching, and to Santana's surprise she actually looked…scared. She slowed to a stop.
"Mijo." Santana said, pulling his arm to get Jesús to stop as well.
"Yeah?"
"I think I can find my way from here." She grinned.
"Oh." He glanced back at Brittany and shrugged. "Okay."
And with that he ran off to rejoin the party.
He would meet her abuela eventually, that was the entire reason Santana had invited her after all, but it would not be while she herself was unsure how their reunion would go. They'd tried this before, and it hadn't gone well, Santana didn't want her kids in the crosshairs in case this didn't go well either.
Brittany had noticed Alma's staring, and had now turned to face Santana as well. Santana couldn't read much from her expression. It was calm, if slightly uncomfortable, but that was it. Santana knew there must be some anxiety, maybe even some anger, that Brittany was hiding. What was weird was that Santana couldn't see it.
Finally, Santana reached them.
"Hey." Brittany said, moving towards her and grippng Santana's arm with both hands.
"Hey." Santana gave her a small smile, because just having Brittany here made this feel easier.
She faced her grandmother.
Alma Lopez had always been a hard woman to read. She was stoic and the only thing that gave way to was anger. Emotions were for you and you alone, broadcasting them to the world either meant you were seeking attention or pity or you simply weren't able to keep them in. Why burden other people with your feelings? Nobody cared, and it was nobody's business anyway. So Santana was stunned to see tears welling up in her grandmother's eyes.
"Santana." She she said quietly, almost like she wasn't talking to Santana, more to herself.
"Abuela." Santana said calmly. The 'I'm glad you could come' was on the tip of her tongue, but she bit it back, instead watching her grandmother.
Alma seemed to understand it was up to her to speak.
"Thank you for your invitation." She said, looking around at the party. "I was very pleased to receive it."
Santana nodded. "I thought you would come with papi."
"I…" Her abuela's eyes flicked to Brittany, at the same time Santana felt Brittany's hands tighten on her arm. She looked at Brittany, but the expression on her face was the same as when Santana had walked up. Blank. Calm. Now Santana was sure Brittany was keeping her face that way on purpose, like she didn't want to really show what she was feeling. She'd have to ask her about that later. "I needed some time."
"Time?"
"To prepare."
"Prepare." Santana said slowly, raising an eyebrow. "Para qué?"
"We've tried this before." Alma said, a look in her eyes taking Santana right back to the day she'd told her abuela she would rather have Brittany in her family than her. Back to the genuine sadness she'd seen in her abuela's eyes. She had to shake off the guilt that was threatening to bubble up, reminding herself that she'd been right to say that, and would again today. It wasn't her fault her grandmother had been so intolerant.
"We have." She said cautiously.
"I wanted to make sure I…" She let out a heavy breath. Santana stiffened, bracing herself to hear that her grandmother wanted to make sure she could actually accept her family. "….Didn't disappoint you, again."
That took Santana by surprise.
"Disappoint me?"
"It's the only word for my behaviour." Alma shook her head. "Right from the day I kicked you out."
Her eyes locked with Santana's, a steely determination reflecting in them.
"I am so sorry Santana. For the way I reacted that day and everything since."
Santana struggled to think of something to say. A part of her wanted to make her grandmother beg, the way Santana had the day she'd thrown her out. She wanted to hold on to her anger, maybe even say something mean just to make her feel a fraction of the pain Santana had at being shoved aside like she'd never mattered. She really, really wanted to, but an even more overwhelming part of her just wanted her grandmother back. So she gently pulled her arm out of Brittany's grip, took several steps to close the gap between them and hugged her abuela.
She could tell she'd shocked her, because for a few seconds all her abuela did was stand stock still, hands at her sides, but then she relaxed, hugging Santana back fiercely.
"Thank you." Santana said. She wasn't sure exactly what she was thanking her for, but she knew she was thankful.
"I should be thanking you." Her abuela said. "I know I don't deserve your forgiveness-"
"Abuelita." Santana cut her off, pulling back to look at her. "Whether you deserve it ot not, I have decided to forgive you. The last thing I want to do is keep rehashing the past. Let's just focus on rebuilding our relationship moving forward okay?"
"Si." Her abuela nodded. "Si, let's do that."
"Okay." Santana stepped back, moving back to Brittany's side and retaking her hand. "But first, it's not just me you need to apologize to."
Before Alma could speak, Brittany was shaking her head.
"We've already talked." She said, and her voice sounded a bit straigned to Santana. She wondered if maybe her grandmother had said something rude in the time it took Santana to get there. She was about to ask when Brittany turned and smiled at her. "We sorted it out, so I say, we move forward like you said."
Santana cocked her head, studying Brittany.
"I am sorry though Brittany." Alma said, drawing both their attention. "I've told you before but I am saying it again. I am grateful that you came into Santana's life, and for all the joy you brought into it, whether I could see it or not. And I am sorry for the pain I unknowingly caused you by the way I treated Santana."
Brittany's jaw was set as she stared at Alma. It wasn't a glare, or a look of shock. It was more like Brittany was refusing to react at all. Yeah Santana was definitely going to need to find out what was going on with Brittany.
Brittany nodded.
"Like I said, let's move forward." She said evenly.
Alma let out a soft sigh, like she'd expected that response, and smiled.
"Well…this is a great party." She brandished her arms wide. "I wasn't expecting it to be so big."
"This isn't that big." Santana said, turning with Brittany and gesturing for her abuela to walk with them. "The milestone birthdays, like five and ten, those we went all out. This is just renting a few tents and balloons."
"And those." Alma pointed at a lifesize triceratops as they passed it. "That's not a balloon."
"No." Santana agreed with a light laugh. "But if he was turning five, that thing would have been walking."
When they got back to the tent, Pierce had joined Susan at the table Santana had left her at. They both stood as Santana, Brittany and Alma approached, looking weary.
"Santana." Susan said, reaching for her hand. "Everything alright dear?"
"Yeah." Santana nodded, squeezing Susan's hand. "I just had to go get my grandmother."
She stepped to the side to allow her abuela to stand next to her.
"Abuela." She said. "This is Susan and Pierce, Brittany's parents."
Alma gave a tight smile, that Santana knew was more from nervousness than anything, and held her hand out.
"Nice to meet you." She said.
"Nice to meet you." Susan said, shaking her hand.
"We of course have heard about you." Pierce said, clearly less willing to play along than Susan.
Santana's first instinct was to intervene, maybe ask Pierce to let it go, but she bit her tongue. The Pierces had been there for her when her world had fallen apart, so they'd seen how distraught she'd been. They deserved to express their anger, even if Santana had decided to let hers go.
Her grandmother shifted uneasily.
"Yes I'm sure you have. I'm also sure there is a lot Santana hasn't told you."
Pierce frowned.
"Santana is as much our daughter as Brittany." He said. "And I'm not prepared to watch her get hurt."
"Again." Susan added.
To Santana's surprise, rather than get angry, her abuela simply nodded.
"She's lucky to have you." She said quietly. "I can be grateful at least that god placed her in your hands when I pushed her away."
Her sincerity seemed to throw Pierce off, but Susan only looked more determined.
"Not just in our hands, in our hearts." She said, looking straight at Santana. Santana pursed her lips, her chest swelling with love for the Pierces.
"Si." Her abuela nodded. "Thank you for being her family."
Susan regarded her for a long moment, an intense look in her eyes like she was making an important decision. Then, so suddenly Santana actually thought Susan was attacking her abuela before her brain caught up, Susan was pulling Alma into a hug.
"Thank you for coming back." Susan said warmly.
Santana's abuela looked confounded. She didn't move even when Susan let her go and Pierce took his turn hugging her. She stood rigid, shoulders barely moving as she breathed. When Pierce finally let her go, only her eyes moved slighty to the left, to catch Santana's.
"Yup." Susan said, nodding with a grin. "That was Santana's reaction too."
Her body seemed to be coming out of the shock, because Alma cleared her throat, her hands clasping together in front of her.
"What do you mean?" She asked.
"When we first met Santana, she didn't like the hugs too much either. Always freezing up and going wide eyed." Pierce said with a deep chuckle. "I used to amuse myself by seeing how much I could get her to squirm in five minutes."
"What?" Santana gasped. "You did not!"
"I did." He smiled. "And I'm glad I did, because now you're too comfortable." He pulled her into him, hugging her tight, her arms pressed to her sides, and twisting her from side to side. All she did was laugh. "See." He said, letting her go with a kiss on her head.
"Yeah well you desensitized me, so it's your own fault."
"I'd do it again."
"I'd let you." Santana shot back, tucking herself into Pierce's side. She didn't miss the happy sigh he let out.
"The point is…uh…" Susan faultered, and Santana realised she didn't know her grandmother's name. That felt impossible, and yet, when would Santana have ever mentioned it?
"Alma." She suppled.
"The point is Alma." Susan smiled. "We're huggers."
"They are." Santana confirmed.
"And if you're going to be sticking around, you'll get used it, just like Santana had to."
It was nearly amusing for Santana to watch the battle going on behind her abuela's eyes. She knew there was probably a lot her abuela wanted to say, about how she didn't like hugs or think they were particularly polite – 'how can you force your body on someone else? With the way most people smell? Have some self-respect.' Santana had heard it all, but she was realising for the first time that someone had probably told her abuela that in the first place, she just hadn't been lucky enough to meet a Pierce who would show her otherwise. So though it could have been amusing, it wasn't. She actually felt kind of bad for the woman.
In the end, her abuela said nothing, biting her tongue for the first time in Santana's living memory and even somehow managing to control her face. As she gave a hesitant nod, she looked uncomfortable, but not opposed to the idea. Not disgusted. And that was all the proof Santana needed that this time was going to be different.
She'd gotten her abuela back, and maybe Santana could finally admit to herself that she'd never given up hope.
They spent a few minutes with Pierce and Susan, to let Santana's abuela relax into the scene. Santana could imagine how easy it would be to overwhelm her grandmother, considering how many people were at the party. So she decided to go slowly, letting her adjust before introducing her to someone new. Brittany's parents were a good place to start, talking easily with Alma as though they'd known her for years.
"Yes I've met Paola." Susan said with a smile. "She trained me in the kitchen over Christmas."
"Aha si." Alma nodded proudly. "She spent a lot of time with me in the kitchen when she was younger. She didn't enjoy spending time with Stephen and Bruno…." She leaned forward, bringing her face closer to Susan's and lowered her voice, "they teased her a lot."
"Really?" Santana asked, never having heard this before.
"Oh yes." Her abuela said. "It took a few years for her to grow into her nose, and you know how brothers can be."
Santana snorted, promising to pay more attention to her aunt's nose the next time she saw her.
"Why did they tease her?" Pierce asked.
Alma frowned at him, looking confused.
"Her nose was big." Brittany told her parents.
"They don't speak Spanish." Santana quietly answered the quizzical look her grandmother was sending her way.
"Oh!" Alma's eyes widened. "I assumed…" Her eyes drifted to Brittany.
"I do, but they don't." Brittany said, her voice an emotionless monotone.
"Ah." She looked back at Susan. "I'm sorry I didn't know."
"Not to worry." Pierce said, waving off her concern. "We've picked up a few things over the years."
"We have, like…." Susan paused, looking up in thought, "uh…Cómo estás?"
Santana smiled, sharing a look of amusement with Brittany.
"Well?" Susan asked with a raised eyebrow. Alma once again looked confused, but answered the question none the less.
"Estoy bien gracias, y tu?"
She spoke slower than she usually would have, which caused unexpected warmth to flood Santana.
"Estoy soy bueno tambien." Susan said with a proud grin. Santana mirrored it, not bothering to correct her. It was close enough and they all understood what she was saying.
Alma smiled. "That's very good."
"Oh we know more." Pierce said. "Here's one." He rubbed his hands together, then pointed at Alma. "No me ha- me hagas decri-decrilo?" He looked at Santana.
"Decirlo." She supplied.
Pierce nodded, forging on. "No me haga decirlo de Nuevo."
Alma's wide eyes softened as she let out a soft laugh.
"Guess who I learned that from?" Pierce asked.
"Santana." Alma said, as if that was obvious.
"Nope." Pierce shook his head. "Maribel."
"Ah of course." Alma said, looking around. Santana's guess that her abuela was looking for her mum and dad was confirmed by her next words. "Where is my son actually?"
"Last I saw they were out at the jumping castle." Santana said.
"I can go call them." Pierce offered.
"Oh no, no." Alma shook her head. "You don't need to."
"It's no problem. I need to stretch my legs anyway." Pierce stood up. "I'll get them." He left before Alma could protest further.
"My personal favourite." Susan said, returning to their previous conversation. "Is this one." She cleared her throat, putting on an impressive glare. "Soy de Lima heights adjacent y estoy orgulloso."
Santana burst out laughing as her grandmother's eyes widened comically. Even Brittany couldn't hold back her laughter.
"I bet you know who says that." Susan said, laughing as well.
"Si." Alma said, smiling fondly at Santana. "The number of fights I've heard her start with that line."
"Well it's the truth." Santana shrugged.
"Bisabuela!"
Santana whipped around to see Abigail staring wide eyed at her abuela. She didn't look excited to see her, more alarmed.
"Abigail." Alma said, beckoning her forward. "Give your bisabuela a hug."
Abigail rushed forward, as if wanting to comply with the request as quickly as possible. Santana understood. She used to be the same way.
"Hi bisabuela."
"How are you nieta?" Alma asked when she let the girl go.
"Good."
"Where is your sister?"
"She was with Sophia." Abigail looked around. "I'll go call her."
"And Adrienne too." Alma added as Abigail turned to leave. "And tu papi."
"Bueno." Abigail nodded, then ran off.
Brittany took Santana's hand into her lap, leaning into her.
"If she calls Lily, and Lily is is with Soph, Soph will be coming here." She whispered. "So are we doing the introduction now?"
"I guess so." Santana whispered back. "Soph will do better with it if Jesús and Ky are here too."
Brittany nodded. "Probably."
"I'll go look for them."
"No." Brittany put her hand on Santana's thigh, stopping her. "I'll go."
"Okay." Santana agreed, sensing Brittany needed a minute to herself. "But," she let her hand drop onto Brittany's on her thigh and looked intently into her eyes. "Are you okay?"
"Yeah." Brittany nodded. She placed a soft, quick kiss on Santana's lips. "Promise."
"Okay." Santana let her go. She couldn't help watching Brittany go though.
"I didn't know Miguel was here." Her abuela said, pulling her attention.
"Oh yeah." She said, focusing on her grandmother. "Mateo asked for Adrienne and Christian to be here."
"Oh are they coming camping with us too?" Susan asked.
"Yeah."
"So Andrea is here too?" Her abuela asked.
"No. Christian came with Miguel."
"Okay."
Her parents showed up then, led by Pierce, and as they greeted her abuela Santana let it wash over her, trying not to be anxious about her kids impending arrival.
Brittany took her time looking for her kids. She had an idea that Jesús and Kyler were probably at the trampoline, but she didn't rush there. She could also just call Jessie and ask him where they were, it would take less than two minutes to locate them given the security at the park, but again, Brittany was in no rush.
Santana's grandmother was being great. She was smiling and laughing and being more friendly than Brittany was sure she had ever been in her life. She was doing exactly what Brittany told her to do, and that was the only reason Brittany hadn't lost it. It was harder for her to face Santana's abuela than she'd expected. She kept having to fight eye rolls and hold in scoffs of sinister amusement, biting her tongue to keep any stray sarcastic comments from slipping out. She only did it for one, because Alma was being perfectly nice, but more importantly, Santana was just so happy.
Brittany could see it in the smile that never left Santana's face, and the brightness in her eyes every time she looked at her grandmother. She couldn't ruin that, no matter how angry she still seemed to be. This had been what Santana wanted for years, something she wanted so much that she didn't even let herself hope for it.
So Brittany sat next to her and smiled and laughed, and made sure there wasn't even a hint of the resentment she truly felt. Because that's what it was, she realised, resentment. She didn't think it was fair that Alma got to mistreat everyone in her family, berate them, break them, make them feel like nothing, and then when she decided she was ready, just come back and apologise. As if a sorry would fix anything at all.
While they'd been waiting for Santana at the entrance, Brittany had made it very clear that she had no interest in Alma's apologies. As she'd said in Decemer, it didn't matter to her whether Santana's abuela was truly sorry or not. It didn't matter that she'd seen the error of her ways and regretted everything she'd done, or if she hadn't and was just tired of being alone. Brittany didn't care one way or the other. As long as she didn't say or do anything that hurt Santana, the true intentions of Alma's heart were of no consequence. So far, she seemed to be keeping to her promise to be the sweet grandma Santana deserved.
That didn't mean that Brittany was ready to laugh with her. It may be easy for her parents to give her a chance to prove herself, because they'd never actually seen what she did to Santana. Brittany was there in the minutes after Alma kicked Santana out, she was the one holding Santana when Alma didn't call on her birthday and Santana had realized her abuela was serious about disowning her, she had to see the pain in Santana's eyes when she refused to invite her abuela to their wedding and on the day that had changed everything for Brittany, when Santana ahd begged her grandmother to just love her, begged her to accept her, when Alma could have lied and said what Santana wanted to hear, but instead she chose to reject Santana once again, Brittany had been the one to comfort a crying Santana late into the night.
So no, Brittany wasn't ready to laugh with Alma. She wasn't ready to share stories and reminisce or make jokes. She didn't trust Alma, she didn't like her, and she sure as hell was not going to let her get comfortable around her. She wanted Alma to know that she was always watching her, prepared to follow through on her threat at any time.
It would be easy to walk aimlessly for a long time, pretending not to be able to find her kids. The park was big and there were so many people around, Brittany could lose herself in it all, but she knew Santana was probably waiting, anxiously or excitedly, or both, and she didn't want to keep her waiting for too long. So when she at last felt like her anger was no longer simmering just under the surface, she made her way to the trampoline/jumping castle area.
Sure enough, Jesús and Kyler were in the trampoline, along with Ryan and Kaycee, Nicholai, Owen and Eli, playing what Brittany assumed had started off as dodge ball but now looked like they were simply beating each other with the balls. She watched them for a while, laughing as Jesús picked Kaycee up throwing her onto her back and then battering her with a ball. A part of her didn't want to introduce Alma Lopez to them. They were such happy, free-spirited kids, and Alma was very talented at squashing that out. She and Santana would never let that happen of course. They were both very clear on the fact that they'd have to watch Alma closely when she interacted with their kids, but Brittany was weary of bringing someone into her kids' lives who she didn't trust wholeheartedly. She'd never done that before.
Still, Santana had gone out of her way to invite her abuela to the party, and as Brittany kept reminding herself, Alma was being perfectly well behaved.
So she ignored her gut feeling and called out to the twins.
Kyler was the first to hear her, looking up at the sound of his name. Brittany pointed at Jesús, then beckoned him to her. He had to physically drag Jesús off of Ryan, who he now seemed to be wrestling with and winning, to Brittany's amusement, before Jesús even seemed to register what he was saying. Finally he looked over at Brittany, and upon seeing her, scrambled to get out of the trampoline.
"They'll be right back." She assured the other kids, who were all standing, watching her as if unsure of what to do with themselves.
"Where are we going?" Kyler asked, slightly out of breath.
"Someone's here, who's very important to mami, and she wants you to go say hi."
"Oh." Kyler frowned.
"Who?" Jesús asked.
"Her abuela."
"Is that the old lady you were with when you told me to call mami?"
"Yeah." Brittany chuckled.
Kyler blew out a sharp breath, which pushed a strand of hair off his face.
"Come here." She pulled off his hair tie, combed her fingers through his hair to gather it, then retied it. She had to do the same with Jesús'. They still looked messy, but better at least. And, Brittany told herself, she didn't care what Alma thought anyway.
"Let's go, Soph might be there by now."
When they got back to the tent, Brittany put an arm around both of them, every muscle in her body wanting to keep them away from Alma. Since she couldn't, she wanted them as close to her as possible. Neither of them objected.
Sophia was in fact already inside, standing next to Abigail, Lily and Adrienne and looking supremely uncomfortable.
Brittany took a steadying breath and walked Jesús and Kyler over.
"She is old." Kyler whispered to Jesús. Brittany smiled.
"Ah here they are." Stephen said, brandishing his arm proudly. "The Lopez-Pierce boys."
As he walked to them, gripping Jesús' shoulder (the one not tucked into Brittany's side), Brittany realised he also hadn't been able to boast about his grandkids to his own mother. He never got the chance to talk to her about the milestones in Santana's life, or gush over her cute family. Another person Alma robbed.
Stephen peaked behind Brittany.
"Where's the youngest?"
"We won't get much out of him now." Brittany said. "She can meet him later." She looked right at Alma, hoping she understood that no one was going to bend over backwards to accommodate her, not even Brittany's kids.
Stephen nodded, still smiling happily.
"Mama." He said. "This is-"
"Stephen let Santana do it for goodness sake." Maribel snapped, pulling her husband to the side.
"Right." He said sheepishly. "Go on nena."
Santana stood, but looked at Brittany.
"Britt?" She asked, giving her control of the situation. Brittany felt the sudden urge to pull Santana into a kiss right there. She managed to resist it, instead moving her hands from the boys' shoulders to their heads.
"Alma." She said. "These are our oldest sons. Jesús and Kyler."
Alma was looking at them with a hunger in her eyes, like she couldn't take in everything about them fast enough. She smiled.
"Very nice to meet you boys. I am your bisabuela."
Jesús looked at Maribel and Stephen thoughtfully.
"My mum." Stephen told him.
"Oh okay." Jesús nodded. "I'm Jesús."
"Do you speak Spanish Jesús?"
Jesús nodded. "Si."
"Bien, Bien. How old are you?"
"Ten."
"Almost eleven." Kyler added.
"I've seen you before." Jesús said, taking a step forward. Brittany swiftly pulled him back. He frowned curiously up at her but stayed put.
"Ah si. A long time ago." Alma nodded, looking shocked. "You were little."
"In Lima. In a grocery store."
"How can you remember that?" Alma gasped.
"He has a photographic memory." Kyler said.
Alma's eyes widened, looking to Santana fo confirmation. Santana nodded.
"Wow. So you are very smart."
They were heading into dangerous territory here, and Brittany didn't like it. Somehow Alma had managed to find the one sore spot Jesús had. He didn't do as well in school as Kyler or Sophia, and so like Brittany, he struggled to believe he was smart. The last thing she wanted was for this introduction to somehow turn into an evaluation of their potential or their skills.
She felt Jesús shrug. "Sophia's the smart one." He said, voice quieter than before.
Sophia had drifted away from Abigail and Lily, closer to Brittany and the boys. She looked apprehensive as Alma turned to her.
"He says you're the smart one." She said. Brittany frowned.
Sophia nodded.
"Smarter than them." She said, casting a look at her brothers. Kyler stuck his tongue out at her. "But that's cause I don't have anything distracting me."
"Football isn't a distraction." Kyler said indignantly.
"He doesn't think football is a distraction." Alma said quietly to Sophia.
"What about baseball, basketball, surfing-"
"I only go surfing when we're in L.A"
"Motorcross." Sophia shot back.
"That's just fun." Jesús said, chuckling.
"He said motocross is fun." Alma translated. Brittany's frown deepened, then she understood what was happening..
"She understands." She said, feeling unreasonably angry.
Alma's eyes widened. "What?"
"She speaks Spanish Alma."
"Oh." Alma glanced wearily at Santana. "I didn't know if-"
"You asked Jesús if-"
"Okay." Santana stepped forward, arms out. "Just a misunderstanding." Then she smiled at their kids. "You guys can go. I just wanted you to meet my abuela. You're going to be seeing a lot more of her."
"Can I get a hug?" Alma asked, looking at Santana. Santana turned to Brittany, raising an eyebrow.
Though she really didn't want to, Brittany couldn't refuse that hopeful look in Santana's eyes, so she gave a curt nod.
"Go on give your bisabuela a hug." Santana said, smiling.
The three kids gave her short hugs.
"Nice to meet you bisabuela." Jesús said, then Kyler and Sophia parroted it.
"Very nice to meet you too nietos."
"Go on guys," Brittany said, as they returned to her side, "before we make you serve us something to eat." The three scampered away.
"You too." Miguel said to his kids, tossing his head in the direction Kyler, Sophia and Jesús had just run. Lily, Abigail and Adrienne ran after them.
As soon as the kids were gone, the atmosphere got suddenly tense. Santana walked to Brittany's side.
"I'm sorry." Alma said, "I didn't know that Sophia-"
"She's our daughter." Brittany cut her off, her anger only rising at the stupid apology. "Why would we teach our sons Spanish and not our daughter?"
Alma sighed, shaking her had.
"I didn't want to assume again." She glanced at Susan and Pierce.
"Except you did assume. You asked Jesús, why didn't you ask her too?"
Alma clearly didn't have an answer to that.
"Because she's white?"
"Britt!" Her mother gasped.
This is exactly what Brittany had been afraid of. She knew Santana's abuela just wouldn't be able to help herself. This was who she was. Thinking she could let her anywhere near her kids had been a big mistake. The woman was poison, and it would just infect them all if they brought her back into their lives. She didn't understand why everyone was acting like she was somehoe over-reacting. What other possible reason could Alma have for thinking that Sophia didn't speak Spanish other than the fact that Sophia was white and the twins were Latina. She clearly thought that it was expected for Jesús and Kyler to speak Spanish, but Sophia, well it didn't matter, because it wasn't her culture. This was the kind of doubt Brittany was afraid Alma would cast on their family. Subtly insinuating that their kids were not equal. And Brittany was not buying that it was an innocent mistake.
She may not have intended to offend anyone, but that was clearly what she was thinking. Nothing they could do would change the way Alma thought and it was the way Alma thought that Brittany had a problem with.
"Abuela if you're not sure about something, especially concerning our kids, just ask us." Santana said, taking Brittany's hand.
"Okay." Alma nodded quickly. "I'm sorry I was trying not to offend-"
Brittany couldn't hold back the scoff, but she kept her thoughts to herself as Santana's hand tightened in hers.
"It's fine just…" Santana took a deep breath. "We don't want our kids feeling…any kind of way. So like I said just ask us before saying anything to them if you're not sure."
"Okay."
"Bien. I'll be right back."
With Brittany's hand gripped firmly, Santana pulled Brittany out of the tent.
Santana took Brittany several feet away from the tent, to make sure no one overheard them. Brittany's shoulders were stiff, her mouth pinched to the side, eyes hard. She was clearly keeping a lot in, or trying to.
"Britt." She said, "What's going on?"
"You were in there." Was all Brittany said.
"She assumed Sophia doesn't speak Spanish and was going to translate everything to her. Why does that make you so mad?"
"Why did she assume she doesn't speak Spanish?" Brittany asked, pulling her hand from Santana's and crossing her arms over her chest.
"I don't know."
"Does she think Latino's come out of the womb speaking Spanish, or does she really think we'd teach the boys and not Soph?"
"I don't know Brittany." Santana exclaimed, throwing her hands up. "I don't know what she was thinking and we can ask her that later, but I didn't ask you about her, I asked you why it made you so mad."
"Why aren't you mad?" Brittany asked, her voice nearing shrill.
Santana frowned.
"Because she was willing to translate every single thing to her. She didn't care that Sophia can't speak Spanish, she didn't tell her she should learn or try and make her feel bad about it, which when we were kids was absolutely the tactic she used on us. She shamed us when our Spanish wasn't good enough or when we got rusty, that's why we all speak it. She didn't do that to Sophia."
Brittany's posture softend slightly. She dropped her hands, letting out a heavy breath.
"Just because she's not being the tyrant you grew up with, doesn't mean she's not still wrong."
"Fair enough." Santana ceded.
"If she's not going to treat our kids equally then she better just take the next flight out of our lives."
"We'll sit down and talk to her okay?" Santana said, retaking Brittany's hand. "Later, when we're not at our son's party and we can actually talk."
"Fine."
There was still anger in Brittany's eyes, which Santana couldn't believe was just because of what happened.
"Brittany can you tell me what's really wrong please?"
Brittany was looking anywhere but at her, her jaw clenching. It was making Santana begin to panic, theories popping into her head. Did Brittany not want her abuela here? Would she tell Santana to send her back home because she didn't want her anwhere near their kids? She just got her abuela back, would she be able to lose her again?
"Britt."
"I-" Brittany ran a hand through her hair. "I thought I could handle this, her being here and meeting them. I thought I could-" She cut off with a sharp breath.
Fear shot through Santana, but it wasn't all she felt. There was also a sense of guilt, as she watched Brittany turn steadily redder, watched the way her eyes were darting in every direction. She clearly hadn't considered how hard this would be on Brittany.
"I'm just so angry, she-" Brittany pointed aggressively at the tent. "She makes me so angry!"
"Okay." Santana said, taking Brittany's other hand and pulling her close. She waited until Brittany's eyes settled on her before talking again. "First of all, you have every right to be angry, okay?"
After a moment's hesitation, Brittany nodded.
"I don't want you to pretend, especially with me, alright? I don't want you to hide what you're feeling."
"I didn't want you to think I didn't want this for you. Your decision to forgive your abuela is yours and I didn't want to influence it."
"Brittany." Santana said sternly, nearly rolling her eyes. "I was making the decision on whether or not to bring her back into our lives, and you didn't think how you felt mattered?"
"I knew it mattered, that's the point. If you're ready to forgive her, and she's finally…" Brittany paused.
"Accepting us?" Santana supplied.
Brittany shook her head, like she wasn't convinced that was really the right way to put it, but she was speaking again before Santana could question it.
"Then I won't get in the way of that. You've been wanting this for too long Santana. It doesn't matter if I'm not ready, I can work out my feelings along the way. It's not a relationship with me she wants anyway."
"So…" Santana licked her lips. "You're not saying you don't want her to be in our lives?"
Brittany cringed, and in that moment Santana seriously considered walking back into the tent and telling her grandmother that they weren't ready for this yet. It was sudden after all, going from yelling at her on Christmas Eve, to sending her a New Year's message, to introducing her to her kids. It made sense that Brittany was struggling with it.
"I'm sorry." Santana said.
"For what?"
"Forcing this on you."
"You asked me if I was okay with it Santana, I said I was."
"But you're not."
"I guess I was okay with it in theory, but in reality I still need some time to…deal with my anger."
Santana nodded.
"We'll take things slower." She said. "Maybe I was a bit too excited-"
"I get why."
"Right, but still. If we want this to actually work, it's better to go slow."
"What does that mean?"
"The three of us figure out the dynamics of our relationship before bringing anyone else into it."
"So for now…" Brittany bit her lip, looking down.
She looked so conflicted. Relieved, angry, disappointed, sorry, like she couldn't decide what to feel. Santana knew in that moment that she was making the right decision, even as she felt a little sad. She gripped both of Brittany's cheeks.
"For now," she said quietly, "she's met the kids, and that's enough. We'll figure out what her having a relationship with them looks like once we're both comfortable."
Brittany pulled her lips into her mouth, nodding.
"It's okay Britt. I don't want to do this if you're not on board."
"I'm sorry." Her shoulders slumped, like the fight had just suddenly left her. "You were so happy, I want this for you." Her eyes locked with Santana's slightly red and watery. "I want you to have your abuela."
"I do." Santana said, moving even closer, so their noses were almost touching. "Brittany, I have her. I can call her and know she'll pick up. I can think about her and not immediately be consumed by sadness and anger and pain. We're building a relationship and that's more than I could say a few months ago."
"But now-"
Santana shook her head, stopping whatever Brittany was going to say.
"She kicked me out, and I built my life without her. We built a life together, we made a family." She kissed Brittany tenderly, just feeling like she needed to. "Now she's back, and that's great, but she has to fit into our family. She's entering our lives, and that requires both of our approval, not just mine."
Brittany nodded, her hands finding Santana's waist and gripping tight.
"So we go slower?"
"Slower." Santana agreed, smiling. "And if we're doing something that you hate, like you clearly hated this meeting, you have to tell me."
Brittany took a deep breath.
"Okay." She pressed her forehead to Santana's.
"No trying to protect me."
Brittany smirked, looking relaxed for the first time since Santana saw her at the entrance with her abuela.
"I can't promise that."
She swiftly captured Santana's lips in a searing kiss, pulling her hips closer with the hands on her waist. As their bodies pressed together, Brittany changed the angle of the kiss, sliding her tongue into Santana's mouth and deepening the kiss. Santana caught the moan in her throat and jumped back. They were both breathing heavily.
"We uh…" She cleared her throat. "We can't do that here."
"Right." Brittany looked around. "Later." She said, looking back at Santana's lips.
Santana felt giddy at the promise.
