Paige feels like she's living underwater. Time passes slowly and she can barely focus on anything. She can tell people are worried about her, especially Mike and Sofia, but she puts on a brave face whenever she's in the ring or doing things for Total Divas, or the rare times Ricardo facetimes with her.
For this reason, she barely reacts when she arrives at MSG that Saturday and finds out she's teaming with Becky and Charlotte against Team Bella. It makes very little sense, but she doesn't have it in her to care right now. At least she doesn't until Becky and Charlotte abandons her and she quickly loses to Nikki. Gritting her teeth, awake for the first time since Wednesday, she screams and tugs at her blue strands of hair, not even caring when they tear out entirely and she has to go get them fixed.
She spends Sunday in her hotel room, thinking and stroking her mangled hair. She barely eats, stays in bed and stares blankly at the TV as it drones on from one mindless show to the next. It's stupid, she had had her reasons for being unhappy with how things with PCB went, but she misses the girls in some ways. Charlotte and she had never entirely gotten along well, but Becky was a decent buffer, and there were some good times with the three of them.
She hugs herself and buries her face in the pillows, gritting her teeth as the sun slowly sets and the room gets chilly. She still can't find the strength to stand, fix the heater, so she buries herself in the sheets even more and closes her eyes. She's just about fallen asleep when her phone beeps at her repeatedly. She grunts and rolls over, grabbing it. It's a facetime request and she swallows hard, brushing her fingers through her hair and trying to look more collected. "Hullo," she says softly after accepting the invitation.
Ricardo beams at her, clearly enjoying every second of India and, as she lays there and absorbs his voice, his face and just how happy he seems, he explains about the training school, his students, the various things he's learning and experiencing. He seems so much happier than when he was in the States that for a moment she wonders if perhaps she was the cause of his misery. Tears have just filled her eyes when he pauses. "Mi fuerza? Are you ok?" Her answer is a muffled sob. He immediately quiets and grips his phone tighter, staring into it desperately. "Mi fuerza? What's wrong?"
"I just miss you," she chokes out. "So much. But I'm glad you're having a good time, love."
His smile is sad, his eyes losing some of their gleam. "I miss you too, Paige. As amazing as India is, it would be perfect if you were by my side. But things are going ok over there, right? You're doing fine?"
"I am," she lies. "PCB is having some problems, but you know. It's ok. Mike and Sofia have been great support since you left."
"I hoped they would be," he says softly. She's about to say something else when there's a voice in the background and Ricardo looks up. "Hey, mi fuerza, I have to go. I'm needed back at the school. I'll call again soon. Get some rest, alright?"
Paige swallows and nods. "Alright. Have a good day, love. Talk to you soon." She hangs up first and stares at her phone for a moment, the frozen picture of Ricardo as he smiles at her, and she curses, throwing the phone into the wall and not even caring when its case breaks and the device hits the floor. Burying herself in the sheets once more, she doesn't move for the rest of the night.
Raw is no better. She loses to Natalya via submission and sits backstage, watching and rewatching her match quietly. She's not sure where everything started to go wrong... as much as she'd like to say it was when Ricardo left, she'd had a bad losing streak going before that, so she can't use that as a cheap excuse. This falls all on her.
Mike tries to help at one point but he has to leave for Saudi Arabia and she's alone once more for Smackdown. She doesn't have anything to do- wasn't booked for a match, so she stands backstage and watches Natalya, Charlotte and Becky tag team against the Bellas. They win and her ire only grows. PCB was hers, just like the divas revolution, and there will never be such a thing as NBC while she's around, a fact that she tells Renee simply.
She returns to the hotel, all alone, and sits in the dark, thinking. Total Divas season 5 has been confirmed, and she had made the cut. As had Alicia. She's not sure it's worth it anymore, but she has a story to finish telling. And tell it she shall, but not at Ricardo's expense anymore. And who knows, maybe she'll win PCB back too. And become divas champion... and life will be perfect once more...
