21 Years Ago
Hana leans out the door of the train watching the city blur past. She would have to jump off closer to the school and walk the rest of the way to Abnegation.
It was the first visiting day since her sister, Natalie defected to Abnegation, and she was determined to see her sister.
She realizes that she had never been to Abnegation. There weren't any other Dauntless riding the train this far out, none of them ventured to Abnegation. Most got off at Candor, then the remaining few at Erudite.
There were a few Candor and Amity getting off the bus just outside of Abnegation and Hana followed the crowd.
Hana hated that everyone called Abnegation "stiffs" but walking through the streets now, she could see why. It was so solemn and drab.
'Excuse me, can you tell me where Natalie Prior lives?" Hana asks a woman who tells her to go two streets over and three houses down.
When she reaches her destination, she sees a man exiting the house, being two years older than Natalie she hadn't paid much attention to Andrew, but he looked familiar.
He stops when he sees her approaching, narrowing his eyes a bit.
"Hana" Natalie gushes with surprise as she sees Hana walk up the short walkway. She's about to pull her sister into a hug when she stops herself.
Hana frowns but then remembers that the Abnegation didn't believe in hugging.
"Andrew, this is my sister Hana," Natalie says softly bowing her head and he does the same.
"Of course, We do not see Dauntless here often."
"Well, it is Visiting Day…" Hana says looking at her sister more closely now wondering why Andrew was giving the impression she wasn't welcome.
"I'm off to handle some business. I'll leave you two to your visit" Andrew pulls Natalie closer to him squeezing her waist hard. Natalie tried to control her face, but it was clear Andrew wasn't pleased.
"Please come in," Natalie says politely as she steps aside as Andrew steps away heading toward the main hall.
Once inside, Natalie closes the door and pulls Hana into a tight hug.
"I missed you so much" Hana breathes.
"I missed you too, I can't believe you're here," Natalie says, tears prickling her eyes.
"I told you I wouldn't miss a visiting day"
"Let me make some tea for us" Natalie offers, relaxing a little bit.
The sisters chatter on with Hana telling her all about her and Reggie planning to get married the next month, her work in the Dauntless infirmary, and training to be a doctor. As the day wears on Natalie can feel the sadness creeping up knowing her sister was leaving.
"Are you really okay Nat?" Hana asks, seeing that Natalie didn't quite seem herself even though this was a new version of her sister, she didn't seem happy.
"Yeah, it's just a lot harder than I thought…"
"Abnegation?"
"Marriage, becoming Abnegation, it's hard to go against everything I've ever known…" It seemed like such an easy thing to say yes to when Andrew suggested they start over in Abnegation. Be of service to others, give of themselves but sitting quiet, always reverent, it was hard. She missed the laughter and noise of Dauntless. Andrew had changed in the year they had been here. They married as soon as initiation was over, he was growing more possessive and harsher, which aided in her struggle to fit in, but she didn't want to give up.
Hana nodded, she'd only been here a few hours and she felt tense. She reaches out and grabs Natalie's hand and squeezes.
"Max wanted me to give this to you," Hana tells her as she pulls back and reaches into her pocket pulling out the folded envelope.
Natalie sucks in a breath as she takes the envelope.
"Read it when you're ready"
Natalie nods, placing it in the pocket of her dress.
"I love you," Hana tells her pulling her into a hug.
"I love you too, next year I'll come to you," Natalie says with a smile as they walk to the door. She waves goodbye to her sister with one hand, the other feeling the letter in her pocket. She couldn't open that door with Max again right now, she just couldn't.
Present Day
Tobias groans as he gets up. His body was sore, but the good thing was stage one of Dauntless initiation was almost over. The physicality of training for Dauntless came easy to him. Having spent most of his life being beaten, the pain was something familiar that pushed him. He'd never forget the look on his father's face when he dripped his blood over the Dauntless coals.
He rolls over in his bunk and smiles to himself, Visiting Day was in one week, which meant Tris was coming to see him. It was quiet in the dorm except for the snores of several people. It was in these moments when he thought about her, her laughing and smiling. That's what kept him going and confident that this was the best choice for them.
Tris searches the crowd of members in Dauntless. She was amazed at the Dauntless cavern, and it felt like it was where she should be, she couldn't wait until it was time for her Choosing Day. She had been nervous the past few weeks wondering how Tobias was doing. Marcus and her father had been furious when Tobias held up his hand over the coals and chose Dauntless. It took everything in her to hide the smile on her lips in the ceremony. As soon as they had got home her father left and she knew the inner council would be meeting.
She turns around when she hears Tobias's voice. Wow, he looked good, really good. His hair was still short but a bit longer, he'd gained some muscles and the black shirt he wore was tighter on his arms and slim cut to his torso, much different than the baggy Abnegation clothes she had on. She could see a tattoo curling around his neck.
"I'm so happy to see you" he grins before pulling her into a soft hug. She inhaled sharply feeling just how muscular he had gotten. "Come on, let's go someplace quiet"
He pulls her by the arm, and they twist through the maze of people. He takes them through the pit and winds around the path and down through the access panel door that Zeke showed him and Shauna to sit on the rocks. Tobias smiled watching Tris as her eyes widened with excitement as she took in the river as it roared.
"Amazing, isn't it?"
After her initial shock wears off, Tobias guides them to sit on a rock, the roar of the churning water the only sound.
"Tell me everything, how is it? Have you jumped onto the train yet? Have they taught you how to shoot a gun? What's the food like?" Tris asks, eagerly firing off questions.
"Slow down" Tobias chuckles at her enthusiasm.
"Okay, sorry, I'm just…I missed you and this place is amazing. I can't believe I still have almost an entire year without you, I don't want to miss anything" Tris groans.
"Yes, I've jumped on the train, yes, I've learned to shoot. The food is good, way better than Abnegation. They have hamburgers every day"
"Tobias, that's amazing! I can't wait to try a hamburger." Tris gushes her eyes taking in the rushing water and she felt the light mist of the spray on her face.
"It's Four now," he says with a shy grin.
"Four, it's different…" Tris says, trying it out. She had tried Toby when they were younger, but Tobias didn't like it.
"Well, you can always call me Tobias when it's just us….I just wanted to start over and not be his son..." He tells her with a smile as Tris reaches out to grab his hand and squeeze.
"I get it, I can't wait to start over. I'm glad you picked a new name. Why Four though?"
"It's a training thing, see how many fears you have" Tobias lets his mind wander to his fears. The heights, small spaces, Marcus but the last, having to watch Tris be beaten by Andrew while Marcus held him back only letting him go until after she was dead had broken him down. His heart started to race at the memory of being in simulation and holding her dead body in his arms.
"And you only had four?" Tris asks furrowing her eyebrows realizing that for him to earn a nickname it had to be uncommon.
"Yeah, my instructor started calling me Four and I went with it. I didn't want all the questions, a few people know from the Choosing Ceremony I transferred from Abnegation, but no one knows Marcus is my father and I want to keep it that way," Tobias says nervously, running his hand across the back of his neck. He didn't think he would ever get used to the attention.
They talk with Tobias telling her about the food, what it was like sleeping in a dorm room with girls and guys, and how it felt the first time he jumped the train.
"Enough about me, what's been going on with you? Have you been staying on Andrew's good side?"
Tris rolls her eyes. Staying on Andrew's good side wasn't easy for her. Her mouth usually got the better of her, as made evident by the bruise she had from where Andrew had grabbed her, dragging her up to her room when she didn't have dinner on the table for him and Marcus three days ago.
"It hasn't been all bad, I've spent so much time in the Factionless section on the weekends it's only during the week ' Tris rambles.
"Wait, did you find her? The woman?" Tobias asks her, shocked, as he places a hand on her arm.
Tris takes a sigh; she hadn't seen Natalie in two weeks. She was still processing the fact that Andrew wasn't her father. She kept wondering why he hadn't given up her and Caleb to another family or taken another wife. Nothing made sense to her.
"Tobias, she's Natalie, my mother"
"Holy shit!... Sorry, the Dauntless are really rubbing off on me" Tobias stumbles over his words in shock.
Tris chuckles at how wide his eyes were.
"I pretty much felt the same way. She's amazing" Tris gushes, the time with her mother had been everything she was missing in her life. There were days after Tobias left when she wasn't sure how she was going to make it but now, she had a renewed energy and purpose. She was going to make it to Dauntless and expose Andrew and Marcus.
She realizes how much she missed Natalie. It had been two weeks since she'd seen her now. She felt bad for getting angry with her. There was no situation where they would have ended up as one happy family. She thinks about Caleb, he was her brother, no matter who his parents were. As soon as she could, she was going to go back to see her.
"Did she do your hair?" he asks with a smile, running his fingers over the end of one of her braids. He liked the new look. He would see the Dauntless girls with hair like her hair texture wear it like this and it was perfect for her.
"Yes. Listen, she was made factionless because she had an affair and my father punished her by making her factionless. They had adopted Caleb and… Andrew's not my father…"
"Woah," Tobias says.
Tobias can hear the emotion in her voice, and he pulls her in for a hug. She leans into him allowing herself to relax. A few tears fall as she lets all the emotions run through her. Even though she was upset and confused, she missed her mother already, she wanted to see her again.
"I think I'm actually a little relieved," she whispers. "My mother's alive. I always had a hard time believing that my father could be so cruel to his own children"
Tris sits up and sees the pain apparent in her friend's eyes and she winces.
"I'm so sorry Tobias, I…"
"Don't worry about it, I guess it just makes Marcus even eviler, but Andrew doesn't get a pass just because he's not your biological father. He raised you. There's no excusing what he's done to you and Caleb. Just like there's no excusing Marcus"
Tris gets up so she can give him a genuine hug holding him tight. She feels him relax in her embrace. It was odd before she found her mother, Tobias was the only one she'd ever hugged and touched. It had always felt natural between them from the first time they held hands after his mother's funeral. His arms were steady and tight around her, not like when they had hugged earlier. She felt how his body had changed, he was fuller, and she could feel the muscles that had emerged from his training.
Tris pulls back first, and the air feels thick around them. Tris feels her heart beating wildly. Did he want to kiss her again? She sees his eyes flick down to her lips.
"Tell me what you've found out about what Marcus and Andrew are up to?" Tobias asks, blinking, needing to change the subject. Things were so crazy, he wanted to kiss her, but he wasn't sure if she wanted the same thing. Tris sits back down on the rock feeling the moment between them broken.
"Marcus and my father had dinner last week and complained about Erudite needing to be more discrete…"
"I saw Erudite here meeting…" Tobias replies, narrowing his eyes as he thinks trying to put together a connection.
"They've been to Abnegation too and I saw them moving through the Factionless section. My mother told me to be careful because Factionless are known to go missing."
"Keep an eye out, Marcus and Andrew know something," Tobias tells her the information running through his mind. He was sure there was some kind of connection, and it would be the key to taking Marcus and Andrew down.
Tris nods, feeling sad that she would need to leave him again looking down at her watch.
"Hey, this time apart will be over before you know it" he whispers, nudging her with his shoulder knowing what she was thinking.
"Have you made any friends?"
"Ehhhhh.." Tobias admits. Zeke and Shauna didn't seem to want to take no for an answer about hanging out with him.
"Tobias…." Tris scolds. This was to be a fresh start for them, a chance to do all the things they never could in Abnegation. Tobias had to take that chance.
"I know, I know, I have a few possibilities, but they aren't you" Tobias admits as Tris giggles.
"I think Abnegation has it wrong, having friends makes life better. Things haven't been the same since you left. You shouldn't be alone here"
He smiled; she was so caring; he knew his life had been for the better because Tris was in his life. Even though she thought she wasn't selfless enough for Abnegation, Tobias always thought differently.
"Well, I won't be alone when you get here. Look, Tris, this is tough, it's really physical. I know you're tough, but you need to get ready. As soon as initiation is over, I'll figure out how we can see each other and I can help train you," he tells her.
"I'll ask my mom, don't worry, I'll be ready."
Tobias cocks his head to the side wondering what she meant.
"My mom was Dauntless and so was my real father, mom transferred to Abnegation. She even had a sister; I might have family here still, but one step at a time…" Tris reminds herself breathing through her nose to help herself slow down.
Tobias grabs her hand and gives it a squeeze. She would always go a mile a minute.
"Tobias, it's like we were supposed to be here in Dauntless" Tris sighs as she leans her head against his shoulder looking out on the rushing water of the river.
"Yeah, I think so too" he leaned his head against hers so he could enjoy the time they had before she had to leave.
Tobias grabs his tray and makes his way to his usual table in the Dauntless dining hall. Zeke and Shauna weren't giving up on their mission to get him to hang out with them. He liked them, Zeke was funny and popular, but Shauna was quieter and more thoughtful. Since they were Dauntless-born, they spent the day with their families, Zeke had invited him to join them, but he knew Tris would come so he declined. Tobias had agreed to give Shauna some pointers to help her out in the next round of fights so he expected her and Zeke to show up for dinner so they could go to the training room after.
He's a bit surprised when Max stops by his table as he waits for Zeke and Shauna who were still in line grabbing food. As the leader of the faction, he had stopped in to see them train a few times. He had complimented Tobias a few times after watching his fights but approaching him here in the dining hall, had Tobias nervous.
"Four, who was that you were talking to from Abnegation today?" Max asks, sitting down next to him.
"Just a friend, her name is Beatrice Prior" Some people knew he was a transfer from Abnegation. He never wanted anyone to know Marcus was his father, so it worked out well that no one knew his real name.
"Prior? As in Andrew Prior?" Max asks with his eyebrows furrowed.
"Ummm Yeah" Tobias shifts in his seat nervously. He still didn't want his identity linked to Marcus and he didn't want to out Tris when she came to Dauntless.
"Did I do something wrong?" he asks, wondering why Max was even talking to him.
"No, No, she just reminded me of someone I used to know," Max tells him, his eyebrows furrowing as he gets up from the table and walks out of the dining hall seemingly lost in thought.
Four nods and Zeke sits down next to him.
"What did Max want with you?" he asks, digging into the bowl of beef stew on his tray. Zeke respected Max, not just as the leader of Dauntless but he was basically an uncle to him. He'd always been close with his mother. He'd made sure he, his mother, and his younger brother were taken care of after his father died. Max had been the one to teach him to shave and was always there to give him and Uriah a stern talk whenever they caused too much mischief.
"Nothing," Tobias says going back to his meal and Zeke launches into a story about what happened with one of the Dauntless born earlier in the day.
Max paces in his apartment while Hana sits on his couch. Seeing that young woman today, he hadn't been able to get Natalie out of his mind.
"Hana, I'm telling you she looked so much like Natalie I thought I saw a ghost and then Four told me her last name was Prior"
"How Max? Do you think Natalie had another child?" Hana had been devastated when she tried to visit her sister for Visiting Day and Andre wouldn't let her see Natalie but at least she knew she was okay. The last thing she had was a letter she'd written to Hana that Max brought here the last time he saw her before she died. It had torn her apart when she left Dauntless. She didn't know what it was, but she could see that Natalie was blinded by the act Andrew Prior had put on.
"I don't know what I'm saying Hana, it's been 18 years, and I still just…" He wipes his face in frustration and sighs as he remembers the last night, they were together. He knew it was wrong, especially since he was a Dauntless leader. He knew inter-faction mingling wasn't allowed; he knew she was married but his ache for her never left him.
"I know, I miss her too,' Hana tells him softly.
Her sister had been her best friend. She didn't think she would ever get over her defecting, but at least they had Visiting Day. Then one year Natalie never showed up. The next year she went to Abnegation for Visiting Day and Andrew told her Natalie wasn't up to seeing anyone. She cried and her husband hugged her tightly. Two years later when she read the letter Natalie had sent to her by Max it was troubling, and she knew her sister wasn't happy. She had been hopeful reading the words repeatedly at Natalie's promise they would see each other on the next visiting day no matter what. She and Max had been numb when Natalie's name had been published among the list of those who died from each faction almost a year later. Max still refused to believe it until Andrew was missing from the next council meeting to grieve his wife who had passed away.
Hana gets up to give Max a hug. She loved him like a brother, if things had been different, he and Natalie would have been married and their children would have grown up together. She and Max had been there for each other through the darkest days of their lives.
"Come on, I saved you some cake from the dining hall, you can tell me how Zeke's doing, even though I'm not supposed to know," Hana says with a smile.
Max chuckles and follows Hana to the kitchen.
