21 Years Ago
Natalie looked out the kitchen window. Normally today she and Evelyn would have done laundry together in the morning before baking bread to give out to the Factionless, but it was pouring down rain, so hard you couldn't see across the yard to the next house.
She and Andrew were still childless. He was frustrated, she kept telling herself that he was just stressed out which was why he had been so awful to her lately. She wishes she had her sister or mother to talk to. She'd cried quietly when Hana told her their mother was gone on visiting day. She felt like part of it was her fault, she was heartbroken by her choosing to leave.
Since it was raining, she decided to bake bread anyway, to have it prepared for the next day. The house smelled of bread, she'd been pleased that she'd learned after failing at first to make it perfectly now. She'd already done the cleaning, and she paces around unsure of what to do with her afternoon, not needing to start dinner this early. If it was overcooked or not ready at the exact time it would upset Andrew. She winced as she touched her lip, still swollen from where Andrew had backhanded her that morning for not having his breakfast ready on time.
She goes upstairs and opens the box of things that she brought with her from Dauntless, she knows she shouldn't have them but when she missed her sister and her mother this is what she did. She runs her fingers over the unopened envelope Hana brought her six months ago.
How was this her life now? She believed every word Andrew had said to her, of how much he loved her and how they could have a better life together. She knew she wouldn't have made it through Erudite's initiation, and she was determined to get away from Max and Dauntless. Abnegation seemed like a good choice, a simple life of service to others.
She had been in a daze the first time he yelled at her for not having his breakfast ready on time one morning. She would never forget the first time he hit her. She had smiled and laughed with one of their neighbors at the distribution center one afternoon when Andrew approached with Marcus. She had still been working on the controlled emotions of the Abnegation then and she could believe it when he backhanded her as soon as they walked in the door to their home that evening. She fought back, her Dauntless instinct taking over. That night she awoke to him holding a knife to her throat, with him threatening to cut her throat if she ever laid a hand on him again.
Some days when she was alone, she cried for being so naive and gullible. Her only confidant was Evelyn who experienced the same thing. They would help each other dress their wounds and Evelyn would remind her to keep things simple to not cause any trouble.
She doesn't know what comes over her, but she picks up the envelope and slowly opens it.
Dear Nat,
I feel like I've written this letter a hundred times. I think over the past few years I've finally understood why you ended things with me. My father died a few months ago. He died after getting into a drunken fight in the Pit and hitting his head on the concrete. I sat by his bedside every day for a week. When Hana told me that he was never going to wake up, all I wanted was for you to be there with me. You know how it was for me growing up with just him and me. He was always pushing me to be the strongest, be the bravest, that's the only way I recognized happiness; Dad boasting about how proud he was of me for never losing a fight, for ranking first after initiation. You were the first person I had to love me for who I was, the only person who it didn't matter if I was the strongest or bravest. Then came Hana and Reggie. I could see the four of us raising our kids together, us teaching them how to shoot, how to climb, all the fun things we loved about Dauntless.
I realized something sitting there as they unplugged the machines keeping my father alive. Just because we have the power to be strongest doesn't mean that we have to use that power. That's what you wanted me to see. I'm sorry it took me so long to get it.
You were never a prize to be won or a possession. You were my partner, my best friend and that's what I wanted with you for the rest of our lives. I'm sorry I messed things up for us, feeding on all the popularity and chaos around me. I hope one day you'll be able to forgive me for how I treated you.
I hope you are happy with Andrew, and he is giving you everything I couldn't. I can see why you chose Abnegation, something quiet, where you can help others. I hope that you will carry with you that you changed me just by loving me. You made me want to be better and I'll always keep you in my heart to remind me of the man I want to be.
I love you Nat, I'll never stop, not until I take my last breath on this earth, and even then, I don't think I'll be able to stop loving you.
Always and Forever,
Max
Natalie lets out a sob covering her mouth as the tears fall down her cheeks. Why had she been so stubborn? Why couldn't she just forgive Max before Choosing Day? She holds the letter to her chest and curls up on the bed bringing her knees to her chest. The rainstorm batters down on the roof as Natalie continues to cry. She made the biggest mistake of her life by trusting Andrew Prior.
Present Day
Tris wakes up early on Choosing Day, the last day that she would spend in Abnegation. She thinks she should feel sad, but she doesn't, the only happy memories she had here were because of Tobias and he was waiting for her in Dauntless.
Andrew doesn't speak to her as they silently make their way to the HUB. Caleb looks deep in thought as they climb the stairs with the rest of the Abnegation quietly. Tris works to keep her face in check because she knows her father is seething to give her an ultimatum wishing he could control her and keep her in Abnegation.
Tris zones out as Max St. Patrick from Dauntless gives the Welcome and the Choosing Day Speech. The leader from Amity then starts to call the names. One by one the names are starting to be called. She notices the gasps from the other factions when a few choose to transfer. She wiped her palms wondering how things would be if her mother had still been in Abnegation. Would she still choose to follow Tobias? Would the corruption of Abnegation still be ruining all the good work the people of Abnegation were doing?
There are cries from the Amity when the young man choosing holds his hand over the glass stones of Candor. Tris feels a bit of relief that she doesn't have to choose leaving her parents. Leaving Andrew was the easiest decision she ever had to make. It does feel like she's leaving her mother, knowing she won't see her as often. Leaving Caleb though had her conflicted, she wanted him to be safe, but she knew she couldn't stay just for him.
A Dauntless girl stands up as her name is called. "Marlene Swinton"
She looked nervous to Tris, as she closed her eyes after cutting herself with the blade. She holds her hand over the Dauntless coals for a moment but then quickly moves over the stones signifying Abnegation. There's a gasp coming from the rows of Dauntless as she quietly makes her way to the Abnegation section where Marcus politely nods to her and motions for her to sit down in the front row. Tris notices she wipes a tear as she sits down. What was her story? Was she transferring because she had her heart broken? Did she have a family? Tris is drawn out of her thoughts about the Dauntless girl when Caleb's name is called.
"Caleb Prior"
Tris grabs his hand and gives it a squeeze. They said their goodbyes quietly that morning, both promising to do exactly what their mother wanted and find a way to look after each other and contact one another as soon as they could.
Caleb nervously stands up and nods his head in respect to Andrew as he makes his way down to the stage. He feels his hand shaking as he walks up to the stage. He thinks about his sister's offer to go to Dauntless, but he breathes deeply and makes the cut, and drips his blood over the Abnegation stones before he can change his mind. He makes his way to Marcus and looks up at Andrew who gives him an approving nod as the next name is called.
It made him sick to his stomach, but this was part of the plan. Play along and keep Marcus and Andrew's trust and find out what they were hiding. He wished he had his sister to help him, but she had told him how much she believed in him and that she knew he was strong enough to do this.
Caleb sits down next to the Dauntless girl who picked before him. She looked nervous and had tears in her eyes. He gives her a smile that seems to comfort her. His thoughts unnerve him a bit. He'd always thought Susan Black was pretty, the perfect Abnegation girl that he would ask to court one day. This girl was absolutely beautiful, with tawny colored skin like Tris, big hazel eyes, and curly black hair. She had a nose ring, and Caleb noticed a small tattoo of a butterfly just behind her right ear. She took his breath away.
"Beatrice Prior"
Caleb shakes his head and clears his mind as his sister walks up to the stage and takes the knife. Tris looks defiantly at Andrew as she walks toward the Dauntless who are cheering. She confidently takes the blade and holds it over the Dauntless coals.
One of the things Max hated about Choosing Day was sitting through the ceremony itself. There was a large group this year. He was in charge of the welcome speech and then reciting the Choosing Day history. He hears a familiar voice call his name and Jeanie saunters up to him as everyone starts to fill the auditorium of the Hub.
"Hello, Max, Good to See you," Jeanine says with a sweet smile.
"Jeanine" he replies with an even tone.
"I hope to schedule some time to meet with you again soon, see if you've reconsidered my offer"
"There's no need Jeanine, I've yet to see any results from your latest research," Max says in a low voice.
"You'll get your results, but we had a deal, you still owe me a few things so I can complete this study" Her icy blue eyes narrowed at him.
"Noted' Max says coldly. Jeanine had lost her damn mind if she thought she could intimidate him.
"I'm always willing to negotiate" Jeanine whispers leaning close to his ear so he can feel her breath.
She gives him a smile and goes to take her place with the other Erudite. Max tries not to roll his eyes as he heads to the stage to deliver the welcome. There was no chance in hell he was going to fall into Jeanine's bed. There was nothing about her he found appealing, not even the thought of an alliance.
After Max delivers the welcome, he takes his place with the Dauntless. Johanna from Amity starts the reading of the names. Four sits next to him, keeping track of each of the initiates that choose Dauntless or transfer out so he can request their files from the factions they were transferring from. He couldn't have asked for a better assistant and leadership trainee than Four.
There are a few Candor transfers in the lower part of the alphabet which was expected. He was shocked by the Dauntless transfer to Abnegation. The last person to do that had to be Natalie. Maybe it was a similar situation, and she was in love and looking to start over.
Caleb Prior
Max smiles as he thinks of Natalie. She would be proud of her son choosing today. Max hadn't seen him since he went to Abnegation and asked Natalie to run away with him. He'd grown up nicely, into a handsome young man. He wondered what his life was like since Natalie died. Max isn't surprised when he drips his blood over the Abnegation stones. What happens next Max doesn't expect.
Beatrice Prior
He feels like he's seen a ghost, just like he had on Visiting Day. He watches her walk confidently up the stage and take the knife. She locks eyes with someone and doesn't hesitate to hold her hand over the Dauntless coals.
The usual cheers erupt from the Dauntless present and Max gets a good look, unlike the glimpse he had on Visiting Day. No, it wasn't Natalie, but damn if she didn't look just like her. And there was something about her that felt familiar, almost like she reminded him of his own mother who had died when he was seven. He remembers the conversation he and Hana had. There was no doubt in his mind Natalie gave birth to this girl.
"Welcome to Dauntless," Tobias tells her with a smile.
She smiles back, taking her seat with the others who had chosen Dauntless. Max can't stop himself from staring.
"You okay?" Tobias leans over to whisper to Max noticing how he was looking at Tris.
"Do you know her? From before Right?" Max whispers back.
Tobias nods knowing that Max had been wonderful about not sharing that he transferred from Abnegation.
Max leans back in his seat as the next name is called. He would ask Four more questions later. Natalie had a child of her own before she died, the resemblance was too uncanny, and she was coming to Dauntless. Max starts to think, if Caleb was choosing today too, he had only been a few months old when he and Natalie had been together. Natalie had told him she and Andrew hadn't been able to conceive in the five years they had been married. He feels his heart race. If Beatrice had been born before the cut-off date for the Choosing ceremony, she and Caleb could have chosen on the same day. There was no way, but the thought of it being a possibility made his stomach twist.
He'd thought about that time with Natalie more than he should and what it would it have been like if she had left him a piece of her. This young lady made him realize how much he wanted that more than anything right now and how much he missed Natalie. He had to find out more about this young lady.
Tris feels the burn on her legs as she makes the jump onto the train. She was so thankful that she's spent the last year training. Tris had fallen a few times, but her mother helped her get comfortable by jumping onto the train a few months ago.
"Wow, how did you do that so easily?" A Candor girl with mocha skin and long curly hair asks her as they settle onto the train.
"I have been training" Tris shrugs.
"Christina, nice to meet you, maybe you can give me some pointers," she says still catching her breath.
"Tris" she smiles and sits down next to her on the floor next to her.
She bites her lip when a Dauntless girl with short dark hair that was shaved on the sides and piercing blue eyes looks at her. Tris felt like she was challenging her, and she didn't look away. The girl leans over and whispers to a boy standing next to her who was tall with golden brown skin, a little darker than her own, and a snake tattoo behind his ear. The boy turns around and looks at Tris and Christina and flashes a ridiculously handsome smile before whispering something back to the girl with blue eyes.
"Great, they're sizing us up already" Christina whines.
"We can do this," Tris says encouragingly but also to remind herself.
The jump from the train was a blur and when Tris felt her heart flutter when she saw Tobias standing tall on the roof and Max, the leader of Dauntless, who had spoken at the Choosing Ceremony. She shakes her head; every man she saw she couldn't start to wonder if he was her father. There was no way the leader of Dauntless was him.
Tobias gives her a nod when she steps forward to jump. The feeling of falling without knowing where she would land but falling into her new life, finding her family, this was her new beginning.
Caleb looks around the empty dorm room. He hadn't expected Robert Black to transfer to Amity. He was the only male initiate this year. Susan Black stayed of course, along with Miranda Hemmings. The surprise was the Dauntless transfer, Marlene. There was something about her that made him want to comfort her. She was beautiful, and she had that look like his sister, that Abnegation wouldn't be able to tame.
He emerges from his room to wait in the foyer of the dormitory for the ladies and Ms. Haskins, the older woman who oversaw all the initiates.
Susan emerges followed by Miranda and Marlene who is now dressed in Abnegation grey. The dress hid all the curves he saw earlier in her tight-fitting Dauntless clothing. Her hair that was flowing in loose curls earlier was now braided into two braids and pulled back and he can't see the butterfly tattoo anymore. He remembers Mrs. Johnson would do his sister's hair in the same style when they were younger. He nods to each of them as they enter.
"Ah on time, wonderful, remember to be late is self-serving" Ms. Haskins comments emerging from the room where she slept. "Let us go to the prayer meeting, and then we will come back for dinner"
Caleb opens the door letting each of them pass but not before he gives Marlene a smile when she walks by him. She bites her lip hiding a smile as she walks next to him.
After listening to Andrew deliver a sermon, Mrs. Haskins escorts them back to the dormitory where Susan and Miranda volunteer to cook the meal for the evening. Caleb and Marlene offer to wash the dishes and clean afterward.
"Do you miss your family already?" Caleb asks as he scrubs a plate and then passes it to Marlene to rinse and dry and notices she let another tear fall.
"No not really. My mom and I weren't close, she probably forgot I was choosing today. I hadn't seen her in about a month"
"What about your father?"
"Never met the guy, Dauntless are a little carefree, I'm not sure if my mom even knew which guy it was. She works guarding the fence, so she would be gone for weeks at a time, and I spent a lot of time alone once I got older."
Caleb felt something stir inside him, she didn't have anyone, and it made him want to open up to her. It was strange but he goes with the feeling. He had a fervent desire to make her feel loved and comfortable. Not only was she the most beautiful girl he had ever seen, but he also felt his pulse quicken being this close to her.
'Well, my mother died when I was small and my father is…well, you saw him today, he's not the greatest. My sister chose Dauntless today"
Marlene nods as she listens and takes the glass that he hands her to rinse off.
"Well, it looks like we have each other," she tells him honestly after a few minutes as she reaches for the pan covered with suds he had just finished washing.
"Yeah, it does" Caleb agrees with a smile.
