Chapter 5

Lily walked back to the Common Room with Potter. They had actually finished their patrols after ending the long discussion with Lupin and Black. She had been surprised that Potter had not invited Pettigrew as well, but the Head Boy had explained that they did not want to involve the other boy when so many of their clues came from the extra Defence Class.

She smiled softly at the sight of Harry and Ginny asleep on the sofa. She elbowed James and pointed to them. She saw the boy grin at the sight. He started to raise his wand mischievously, and she grabbed his arm to stop him.

''What? We are supposed to send them to bed, aren't we?'' He whispered wickedly.

She shook her head, exasperated. Yes, he was not as much of a git as he used to be a couple of years ago, but he was still a prankster at heart.

''They look so relaxed!'' She whispered back. ''I don't think I have ever seen Ginny like this at night.''

She saw him pause and look at the young couple again. Wordlessly, he nodded and put away his wand.

They sat in another sofa, and Lily took out one of her textbook. She had not had time to do any homework today. James was still studying the couple.

''We are still gonna have to wake them, you know.'' He said to her in a low voice.

''I will do it when I am finished with this chapter.'' She promised, expecting him to go to bed. It was already quite late.

He didn't. He sat back more comfortably and kept his gaze on the other young man.

''Sitting down and asleep, he could really be my twin.'' He commented. ''That's kind of creepy, to be honest. I will send a letter to my parents tomorrow. I know we promised to leave them alone, but Sirius' mystery brother theory is starting to make me question everything.''

She rolled her eyes. ''Why would your parents hide such a thing?''

''I don't think they would, but I know they were desperate to have a child. And we are about a year apart, I think. So, technically, it is possible. What if my mother got pregnant before having me, and thought the child was stillborn? They wouldn't necessarily have told me about that.''

''Who would steal a newborn? That's just sick. And your parents would have probably seen the body.''

James shook his head. ''I don't believe it either. But I don't know how else to explain how alike we are. It's not just the hair and the features. His expressions look like mine too sometimes. Like I said, it's creepy. Half of the teachers have confused us at least once this last week!''

She hesitated. ''To be honest, from behind, I only know it's Harry and not you because Ginny is beside him.''

A soft whimper interrupted their conversation, and they turned back to the sleeping couple. Harry was sweating and Ginny's head was jerking from side to side. They weren't sure which one had emitted the sound, but it was clear that they were both having a nightmare.

And that they had fallen asleep without the Silencing Charms they usually used.

Lily rose to wake them but James grabbed her arm. She glared at him.

Ginny's jerking increased as she cried out names. ''Fred… Colin…''

Lily turned back her gaze to the other red-head. These were not names she had heard the witch say before.

''Harry!'' Ginny's eyes shot open with a panicked shout and she frantically looked around until her eyes landed on Harry's sweat covered face. She visibly sagged in relief and buried her head in his chest, trembling.

Lily took a tentative step forward, unsure of whether the young woman had noticed them or not.

Immediately, Ginny's head snapped towards her and she saw her hand reach towards her wand before she seemed to realize who it was. She froze. Blinking, she looked around once more.

''We fell asleep?'' She mumbled aloud, shaking her head.

Lily nodded. ''You were having a nightmare. I was about to wake you.''

The other girl nodded as she pushed back her messy hair. ''Thanks.''

''No… Please, don't be dead… Please, Remus, not you too…''

Lily saw Ginny freeze again at Harry's moaned speech. She felt her own eyes widen. Was the boy including his new friends in his nightmares? She opened her mouth to say that they should wake him, but the other witch had already drawn her wand and splashed water in the boy's face. He startled again.

''You were having a nightmare, Harry.'' She said softly.

Lily approached and felt James walk up beside her.

Reassuringly, Lily added. ''And don't worry. Remus is all right. He is sleeping upstairs.''

At least she hoped he was. But if he wasn't, then it meant that him – and probably Black – were just somewhere in the Castle setting up another prank.

Her words did not have the expected effect, though. The couple froze and Ginny's mouth opened and closed several times, as though she was suddenly incapable of speech.

''Yeah, of course.'' Harry finally said, his voice tight. ''It was just a nightmare.''

''Who have you lost?'' James asked sympathetically. ''Sorry. It's just… I lost an uncle recently, and I know it can help to talk about it sometimes.''

Lily saw Harry and Ginny exchange a look and Ginny shrugged, as though telling her boyfriend that it was his choice.

''I… I am an orphan. My parents died when I was really young. And, recently, there was a battle, and… well some people we knew didn't make it.'' Harry said, holding Ginny close.

From the grief on the young woman's face, Lily guessed that her brother had been one of the victims.

''My condolences.'' She murmured softly.

It was clear that Harry had not had an easy life. And given the strange training he had received, she had a feeling that his parents' deaths had not been natural either. She wasn't sure how to act right now. She had never encountered an orphaned teenager before, but she wanted to comfort him somehow.

James sat besides them and clasped Harry's shoulder in silent support. Lily was surprised to see the reserved young man's face crumble and watched as Ginny let him go to hug back James with an understanding look. Harry shook with silent sobs against his doppelgänger for several minutes, and Lily felt more and more uncomfortable and awkward watching them.

Instead, she turned to the other witch. ''I know this is not your first nightmare. Do you get enough sleep? We could ask Mrs Pomfrey for a Dreamless Sleep Potion.'' She offered.

Ginny smiled but shook her head. ''We can't take that every night.'' She replied quietly. ''We just need some time to… adjust. We have talked a lot about it together. It's just… it feels like we can't fully mourn here. We can't join the rest of my family yet.''

''I am sorry, Gin. It's my fault.'' Harry said in a hoarse voice.

''No. I wouldn't be here if I hadn't agreed too. I… I may not have as many reasons as you, but I do have some.''

Lily got the feeling that they were still hiding things. She had noticed how Ginny's eyes flickered to her and James as she answered Harry, and how all their answers were vague.

But in light of all that had been said tonight, she was even more convinced that they should not pry into the couple's past. No matter how much she wanted to understand why he felt so familiar.

Harry was excited when the week-end finally arrived.

Since his breakdown in his father's arms, he had strived to be more open and friendly with the Marauders and his mother, even though it still felt strange to interact with them as teenagers. But he knew he would never get such an opportunity again, and that he and Ginny would have to go back eventually. Ginny was right that their mourning felt stilted from being here. They could not easily mourn Remus – and by extension Tonks – when they saw a young and happy version of him everyday. And though they had talked about Fred and the others, it was nearly impossible to truly grieve when they knew the rest of the family was waiting for them over two decades in the future, and no one else around them really knew of the losses.

He had meant what he said to Ginny. He had chosen life and a future, and he would not be able to achieve that if he remained in the past. Furthermore, he knew the longer he stayed, the harder it would be not to try and change some people's fate or avoid notice from the rising Dark Lord.

There were quite a few Gryffindors who had shown up for the try-outs, but most went to sit in the stands to watch. Looking around, Harry noticed that most of the candidates were fifteen or younger.

Though he had no doubt about his and Ginny's abilities, they had belatedly remembered that they did not have their brooms, and would therefore have to use schoolbrooms. Harry hoped they were in a better state than the one he had briefly used in Third Year. But it was something they would have to figure out if they did make the team.

He had also wondered if it was really fair to try out when they might not even stay for the entire season. When he had remarked as much to Ginny, she had shrugged and said.

''Well, with the war brewing we aren't even sure the season won't be cut short. And, really, spending time with your dad and Sirius is more important than a Quidditch Cup.''

Still, Harry had loudly wondered if the try-outs included positions on a reserve team when reading the announce of the date in the Common Room, and from the looks on his father's and Sirius' faces he hoped their eventual sudden departure would not be too detrimental to the Gryffindor team.

He distantly listened to James speech about the importance of winning the Quidditch Cup, somewhat relieved that his father did not sound as crazy about it as his former captain. His and Ginny's sleep was perturbed by nightmares often enough that he had no wish to wake up at dawn everyday to practice.

He joined two other younger students who were trying for Seeker, while Ginny joined the Chaser hopefuls. He grabbed a Shooting Star from the school shed and was surprised by how new it looked. With a frown, he took a closer look to the model and serial number. He chuckled under his breath. Unless he was mistaken, Hogwarts would not buy any new school brooms until at least his Third Year – over fifteen years from now.

At least, this meant he would actually have a fairly recent broom for the try-outs. It was nothing like a Firebolt or even a Nimbus, but those brooms did not exist yet, so he could not exactly complain. He used the warm-up to test out the speed and responsiveness of his broom.

The try-outs themselves were ridiculously easy. He supposed it was somewhat unfair to his opponents, who were a good three or four years younger, and had obviously never played in a real match. But the big grin on Sirius's face and the congratulatory slap on the back his father gave him completely erased his guilt. This was what he was here for. He could not remember playing with his toy broom in Godric's Hollow, but he would have memories of Quidditch with his father and godfather.

Ginny also made the team easily, and high-fived Sirius after scoring her last goal. He knew she had grown close to his godfather in the Grimmauld house, but had not realized how much she had missed him as well. After his break-down, she had confided that he had always treated her as an adult, and she had appreciated that a lot, growing close to him along with the twins. Unlike her mother, he had never confused their mischievousness with immaturity.

She had also remarked that she was glad to see him so happy. Knowing what the rest of his life would be like, she wanted to have memories of a happier and healthier Sirius. One that had not been tainted by Azkaban and betrayal. He had to agree.

James dismissed the non-selected applicants and called the new team – that included a reserve for each position, to Harry's relief – for a quick meeting in the locker room. He briefed them on the schedule of the season, and signalled that those who needed to skip a practice to revise for a test had to warn him at least a week in advance so that he could adapt the schedule. Harry was slightly surprised by the declaration. He remembered Oliver's approach of ''Win or die trying'' and decided the more relaxed way of his father suited him better. He was done endangering himself foolishly.

Later in the following week, Ginny entered her dorm to put away her books and was surprised to find Lily lying on her bed, an arm covering her face. She had never seen her lazing in such a way before, and given the number of essays that were due this week, she was surprised that the studious girl was not in the Library.

''Lily? Is everything okay?''

The other red-head startled at the sound of Ginny's voice and sat up quickly. The sound of crunching paper drew Ginny's eyes to the letter Lily clutched in her right hand and that she had failed to notice before. Looking up, she saw the tear tracks on Harry's mother face.

She closed the door of the room and dropped her books in her trunk. ''Do you want to talk about it?'' She asked, unsure.

Though they had befriended Lily, Alice and the Marauders, she knew they were not exactly close. The others had had years to form a friendship, whereas Harry and her were the new, strange students. She did not want to presume.

Lily tilted her head slightly.

''I usually isolate myself in such cases, but… maybe talking about it to someone new would help?'' She said hesitantly.

Ginny smiled softly. ''Only if you want to. If you want me to go away for a while, I'll understand.''

Lily shook her head. ''No. I think I want to tell you. It's just that… well, Alice and our old dorm-mates knew, so I haven't really had to explain it in a while.''

Ginny sat on the edge of her bed, waiting.

''As you already know, I am muggleborn. I have an older sister, but she is not magical. We used to be close, but since I discovered I was a witch we have grown… distant. I just received a letter from home, from my parents. Petunia got engaged. And she… Well she only told our parents. She did not write to share the news with me. I didn't even know she was seeing someone. And I barely saw her last summer, she stayed on campus – or perhaps with her boyfriend, now that I think about it.''

''It's just… I wonder if I made the right choice, returning to the wizarding world. I know about the war brewing out there. I know I will be a target because of my origins. And yet, here I am, lying to my parents, growing further and further apart from my sister. What for? Most of my friends have fled the country, or decided to hide in the muggle world rather than continue their magical education. Alice's decision to stay was easier, I guess, since she is a pure-blood – and she has Frank. But what exactly am I studying for? I don't even know!''

She let out a frustrated sigh.

''I have good grades, but what use is that when supremacists control half of the Ministry, and we might enter adulthood in the middle of a war? Wouldn't it be wiser to go back to a muggle school?''

''But then, I don't think I know how to be a muggle anymore. None of what we study here would help me get into college, and I can't think of any muggle job I want either…''

Lily laid back on her bed. ''What would you do, if you were in my situation?''

''Err…'' Ginny said, trying to stall, and panicking internally.

What the hell was she supposed to say to that? She had not expected the red-head to bring up such a subject. She had never seen any clues that Lily was questioning staying in the wizarding world, or perhaps she had unconsciously dismissed them because she knew that she had. But what if this was the conversation that made Lily choose for good? Ginny knew they had to maintain the timeline, of course. Because, however painful, it had led to Voldemort's final defeat by Harry.

But how could she look Lily in the eye, and tell her to stay in the wizarding world? Harry's mother would be betrayed by one of her friends, her parents would die – and she had no idea how, but she could not ignore the possibility of them being victims in Voldemort's raids – her husband would sacrifice himself minutes before her own death. She would never see her son grow up, would never even know if he survived, and basically all her friends would live miserable lives.

Though she would find love and start a family with James, Ginny could not pretend that she knew this happiness outweighed everything else.

She forced herself to try and consider Lily's dilemma without thinking of the consequences, but found it very hard.

In the end, she settled for a somewhat lame and general reply.

''Well… I am a pure-blood, so I can't say I fully understand your situation, but… War won't necessarily spare you, even if you leave the wizarding world. So, I'd suggest you at least learn to defend yourself. As for what to do after graduation… Maybe something will happen by then to help you decide. Whatever you do, though, I think you shouldn't let war deprive you of happiness. I know you can't ignore it, but… don't make all your decisions based on it. Don't tell yourself that you will have time for happiness once the war is over, or that sort of thing. You could regret not seizing an opportunity.'' She said, remembering Harry's words that he wished they had had more time together, almost a year ago.

Neither of them had known whether this discussion was just goodbye or a final adieu. Memories of their time together had helped both of them survive the last year of the war.

As for Lily, she hoped the young woman would decide to just enjoy and make the most of her last year in school, and that she would not decide her future before Harry and herself had returned to their own time. She wasn't sure how she would feel if she discovered that she had been the one to condemn her boyfriend's mother to a short life.

Lily smiled. ''You are right, I don't have to decide right now. It's just that these letters always make me a little depressed. There are always a reminder of what I… lost, basically, when I was eleven and decided to attend Hogwarts. I wish I had known and understood more then. Not that I would not have come to the Castle, but… maybe there are things I would have done differently. I can't exactly tell my parents of the war after hiding it from them for years. It feels like it's too late now.''

Ginny nodded. She knew she had hidden what truly happened in Hogwarts from her mother during the Christmas break, because she did not want to abandon the younger students, Neville and Luna to Snape and the Carrows.

James glanced at the group formed by Lily, Alice, Harry and Ginny. The Marauders had decided to just relax on this Friday evening, but the rest of the Gryffindor Seventh Year was still studying. Or at least, that had been their intention at first. Right now, they seemed engaged in a lively conversation, so James doubted they were getting much work done.

He sometimes envied the easiness with which Harry and Ginny had formed a friendship with Lily. Of course, there was this strange familiarity with Harry that both Lily and himself felt, and that made him want to include the young man. And Ginny shared a dorm with the other red-head. Though, they seemed a little closer than they were just a few days ago, leading James to wonder if the strange couple had confided some of their story with the muggleborn. He could not help a slight jealousy at the thought.

He had not really had an opportunity to discuss the couple anymore with the Head Girl, but he had of course revealed Harry's nightmare about Remus to his friends. He had felt somewhat guilty doing that, and had not breathed a word of the way Harry had fallen into his embrace, sobbing heavily. But he had been surprised to hear the boy mention his friend's name whereas most of the names uttered by Ginny had been unknown.

Moreover, there was the way Ginny and Harry had acted about it. Ginny had been in quite a hurry to wake up her boyfriend, and both of them had looked extremely uncomfortable afterwards. Also, they had not denied that the person Harry had been dreaming about was the same boy with whom he shared a dormitory.

Remus had been quite surprised, but could not recall meeting Harry before this year. Another somewhat strange fact was that Harry and Ginny were not as close with all the Marauders. They were cordial but distant with Peter, and friendlier but almost equally distant with Moony. They seemed more at ease with Sirius – especially in Ginny's case – and himself. So why was Remus the one featured in the boy's nightmares?

Shaking his head, he returned to the book he had borrowed from the Library. The mood in the Castle was more sombre than it used to be, with so many students electing not to return and attacks being reported almost weekly. He and his friends intended to remedy that, and were currently researching this new prank project.

Unfortunately, as it often happened when Lily Evans was nearby, his eyes wandered back to her table without his consent. A Hogsmeade week-end had been announced for the next week. He had caught the young woman staring at him a few times, and hoped she would agree to go on a date with him.

He grinned at the thought. The week-end could not happen at a better time. The first match was still weeks away, he was starting to find a good rhythm in handling all the classes and assignments, and the next full moon was at the very beginning of this week, so the Marauders would have had time to recover from the mostly sleepless night.

Which reminded him…

''What are we going to do with Harry during the full moon? We have never had to deal with this before.'' He remarked in a whisper.

Sirius shrugged. ''He has never said anything about our escapades before. Except that time, when he asked us if he and Ginny might come along to go to the kitchens.''

It had quickly appeared that the new students were not ones to quietly follow the rules. Ginny's overly formal behaviour in classes – though it had toned down a lot over these first couple of weeks – hid a mischievous nature, and she seemed to consider going out after curfew as a personal challenge. James had no idea how the two managed to slip away so often without being noticed, and it wasn't rare for them to disappear from the Map as well – meaning they had either left the Castle and found some room the Marauders had failed to discover in six years of exploration. Needless to say, James was now convinced that the couple had spent a significant amount of time in Hogwarts before.

Lily had scolded them several times, and though Harry had first appeared properly chastised, Ginny had been defiant. The matter would have probably escalated if McGonagall had not stumbled upon the argument before it could. Harry and Ginny had asked to talk to her in private, and James and Sirius had followed them to Dumbledore's office on the Map.

About two hours later, the Deputy Headmistress had returned with the two students, and announced to Lily and the other prefects that Harry and Ginny, due to ''special circumstances'' were allowed out after curfew as long as they did not use that time to break rules. Lily had apologized and let it go, which Ginny had immediately accepted with a smile.

The next day had been the one when Ginny and Harry had asked to accompany the Marauders. Sure, they had only gone to the kitchens, but he doubted the Transfiguration professor would be happy to hear that the new students spent their nights gallivanting with the Marauders.

Peter intervened with a dubious look. ''Well, what if he asks to join us next time? We can't exactly invite him along on the full moon.''

Remus nodded emphatically and Sirius offered him a look of apology. Though he had eventually been forgiven for sending Snape to the Shrieking Shack last year, he still felt guilty about it. This episode, along with the amount of time Sirius and himself had spent together over the summer, had led to two duos in their quartet. James hoped that Peter, Remus and Sirius would soon recover their previous closeness. He was confident it was only a matter of time. He had been extremely angry and disappointed as well, but after living in the same house for two months, the feelings were completely forgotten.

''I am sure he would understand if we said we were on a Marauders thing only every once in a while.'' Sirius nevertheless insisted.

''Problem will be if he notices a pattern after a few months.'' Remus pointed out. ''And we also have to deal with Evans. She is no longer reporting everything we do to McGonagall…''

''Thank Merlin for that.'' Peter interjected. ''I feel like I spent half of last year scrubbing floors or cleaning out cauldrons.''

''… but she is still trying to stop us every other time.'' Moony continued as if he had not been interrupted by his friend. ''She is getting very creative about it, too.''

James nodded ruefully. He wasn't sure when Lily had decided to turn this into some sort of game, but the young woman's mind had revealed itself to be as devious as a Marauder's. It was as if there was some unspoken agreement that she would not report them, but they had to give up if she managed to stop them herself. Or she found some creative way to punish them when they got back to the Tower.

So far, she had managed to sweet-talk the Fat Lady in refusing to open for them one night, placed a conjured bucket of water over the door to their dormitory… She had even found the way to put up some sort of ward that had glued their feet to the floor just before they could cross the portrait-hole. This particular instance had also led her to discover the Cloak, as she had been alerted of the ward being activated and saw nothing when she arrived. It was sheer luck that they had all managed to revert back to human form before she pulled it off them.

She had not commented on the garment, apart from a grin and interested look. No doubt sneaking around her would get even more difficult.

It was also a testament to the quality of her spell-work that none of those punishments ever affected Harry or Ginny. Those two would waltz in and out with a smile and a wave at the Head Girl since McGonagall had given them permission.

He really wondered what had been said in the Headmaster's office to grant them such privileges.

''She will be watching out for us even more easily now that she knows about the Cloak.'' Sirius agreed. ''Think there is a way we could use the Map to keep track of whatever she comes up with? Have it show spells in addition to people, or something like that?''

James thought about it before shaking his head. ''Nah. Or at least not before the end of the term.''

Remus nodded. ''The Map is tied into the Castle's wards. To add in personal wards would be really complicated. It would be worth looking into if she keeps tracking us, though.''

''But, since Moony will officially be away to visit his sick mother, maybe she won't think we will try to sneak out that night?'' Peter said

James shrugged while Sirius glanced at the young woman with a dubious look. ''Somehow, I doubt that.''