Arthur Pendragon paced restlessly up and down the cage he'd been shoved into upon his arrival at the city gates. A cage that was off the beaten path of the dungeons, secluded in a corner so remote one almost needed a map just to find it, buried deep beneath the castle. It was a a cage that was rarely occupied as it housed the truly dangerous criminals. The one that needed a twenty four hour watch detail, with limited interaction from the single guard assigned to keep him inside. Many people barely even knew this cell existed, Arthur himself had hardly thought it was still down here, when it should have caved in years ago.
One would have thought it would be smarter to not put Uther's one and only heir to the throne in such a desolate place barely holding together by a thread. Or perhaps, it was the smartest choice they could've made, considering the doors were made to be reinforced with pure solid steel. Thicker than what was in the normal section of the dungeons, where they were currently holding Bayard and his men. Arthur should have been grateful to not have to share a cell with one of those blue cloaked men, but Arthur continued to pace relentless. One would've thought the prince was a wild animal by the way he was behaving, and with the way he went back and forth impatiently-that was how Arthur knew it took three steps to get across the length of his cage. And three steps when he went back across in the other direction.
Arthur's toes and his shins and his knees and his throat felt as if they were trying to kill him. He had spent the first twenty or so minutes in this cell kicking furiously at the doors, trying to force the gate keeping him locked inside opened. But the bars were much tougher than Arthur's human body could combat…he had resorted to screaming. Looking every bit like an animal as he had thrashed, grabbing onto the bars and shaking them with all his might. Yelling curses violently at the guard who did not flinch or acknowledge he was even there, leaving Arthur to desperation and frustration as he paced. Waiting for his father for the past hour to come and see him.
Uther had yet to make his grand appearance, but Arthur was waiting for him. Violently waiting for him, as he turned sharply and once again paced to the other side of the cell, hands both in tight fists at his sides. Merlin should have been drinking the potion right about now. Arthur should have been standing right at his bedside, watching the paleness in his cheeks starting to color and turn more healthy as the cure worked. He should've been the first one Merlin saw the second he opened up those blue eyes, a grateful smile spreading on his face. But Merlin's not waking up. Because Arthur was bloody well in this horrible cage, being treated like a common criminal instead of the heir to the throne that he was.
It was mutiny, that was what this was. Mutiny that needed to be squashed from their ranks…Arthur was so bloody agitated and frustrated, he didn't even care if his men were listening to orders from his father. He just wanted to scream and yell, and ignore reason. Arthur wouldn't have even questioned his men listening to his father, if it was any situation other than the one where Merlin's life was hanging by a thread. Hell, the fucking guard wouldn't even answer him when Arthur had shouted just a few simple-laden down with more curse words than Arthur'd spoken in his entire life-questions at him.
All Arthur had wanted to know was whether or not Merlin was still breathing…whether or not he was too late or if he'd gotten back in the nick of time. Whether or not anybody had seen and reported a strange woman hanging about the castle in the last twenty four hours or so. Whether or not there'd been any kind of incidents around the physician's quarters in the last three or so days he had been gone….the last one was a bit of a reach in regards to getting answers. But the idiot guard refused to even answer one of them. Which meant Arthur was completely, one hundred percent, clueless on anything that might've happened while he was gone. Completely clueless on the status of Merlin and his health and his state of being and…
Arthur snarled under his breath, aiming a sharp kick at one of the stones embedded in the cell walls. His toes collided with it directly, and Arthur bared his teeth as he nearly crumbled with the pain. He hadn't been kidding about how hard he had been kicking at the cell door before he had given up, and all he had done right now was aggravate the injury. But Arthur didn't let it hold him down for long straightening back up and shooting his guard an ugly look…the guard stared ahead impassively. As he was meant to do with prisoners of Arthur's caliber…but it only caused Arthur more aggravation. And he huffed a harsh breath from his nose, turning away from him in disgust.
Knight Bryon-idiot knight that he was-probably didn't know a single thing about what was going on with Merlin. If Leon was doing his bloody job right, then the knight wouldn't have been allowed in the room. Wouldn't have been privy to the sensitive information that included the health and care of his consort…it didn't mean Knight Bryon wouldn't have heard anything about Merlin. At least Arthur could be pretty sure-as brittle as it was-that Merlin wasn't dead. News like that would have spread far and wide if that was the case. Arthur probably wouldn't have been detained right now, if his own father didn't have anything to worry about…
Arthur froze in mid-pace, when the heavy cell doors had been flung open from behind him and the prince spun around on his heel, he wasn't surprised to see King Uther Pendragon taking his sweet time walking into the room. With every bit of grace a king who had just left his son to stew in his own filth-and only because he could-could possess. And the prince's jaw went as tight as iron when King Uther's cold eyes met his, taking in the mess that he was. Arthur straightened up his shoulders, trying to emulate the aura of a prince who knew exactly what he was doing.
"You seriously fought your own men, Arthur Pendragon! Pulled out your own blade, fought with them as if you are nothing but a simple brawler! Four of those men are being seen by some of the lesser healers because nobody is able to see Gaius today…four! Arthur! You injured four of your own men!" Uther started to scream in his face, turning vibrantly red after he'd-no doubt in Arthur's mind-been given the arrest report from a knight the prince hadn't maimed. But if Uther thought Arthur would show a shred of guilt over those men being seen by the inadequate healers that took over when Gaius was out of commission, he was sorely mistaken. A self satisfied smirk spread across the prince's face, pleased to have taken out as many as he had in the fight. But Arthur also latched onto the use of Gaius' name, trying to find any indication that Uther would follow up with a fact about Merlin. He didn't. "Get that bleeding look off of your face, Arthur! Fighting just because you don't want to take your punishment? Damaging our soldiers just because you did not want to face the consequences of running off! What, Arthur, is the matter with you!"
Arthur bared his teeth sharply-an action that should have had him slapped across the face-at his father. Did his father think Arthur was really that kind of man…some pitiful weasel that'd rather hurt his own soldiers than face punishment he'd already known was coming? But if his father thought Arthur was going to start begging for mercy, or making excuses to explain what he had done, then he was again, sorely mistaken. Arthur was not going to coward to appease his father, not this time. Not now. He had left the city knowing full well that consequences would be waiting for him, and he was going to own what he'd done.
"I didn't fight my men because I didn't want to be punished for disobeying you. I am more than willing to take whatever you're wanting to give me without complain or protest. I know it isn't right disobeying you, but your decision was wrong!" The blond prince spat furiously, pushing his shoulders back even further to meet his father's cold glare. He wasn't cowering this time…because Arthur owed this to Merlin. Merlin deserved to have Arthur fight his father for him. He had already ran away from the kingdom, fought both sorceress and his men…and all of it sorely in Merlin's name. His father was only one more standing in the long line of absolute crap he had dealt with in the last few days, "The only reason I fought against them is because of what they were doing! Keeping me from getting to my consort! There should be a bloody law against denying somebody from being able to see their own marriage partner!"
Uther sneered at him, looking just as violently as Arthur was feeling, running his eyes up and down his son with a disgust he couldn't quite contain. And Arthur tilted his chin up just a bit more, vibrant with his defiance. He knew exactly what the king would see…a man not suitable for rolling around with the pigs. There had been no exaggeration about how violent their fight at the gates had been, and it hadn't ended just because Arthur had ended up overpowered. He'd taken down as many as he could, but he could have done so much better if he had at full strength. Three days going through hell had sucked all the energy reserves he had, four knights damaged during the fight was actually quite impressive.
But it hadn't stopped the other six from holding his limbs down in order to get his sword out of his hand. It hadn't stopped the six men from carting him by his arms through the city kicking and thrashing as hard as he could-screaming Merlin's name as if he was a bloody lunatic-all the way to the castle. It had not stopped those six men from dragging him down here, forcibly undressing him of his armor so he was left defenseless. Arthur should have been bloody thankful one of the maids had been instructed to bring him some of his clothing at least, giving the prince the familiarity of his brown riding boots, brown trousers and burnt orange tunic with the v neck so deep, it would reveal half of his chest. But he wasn't thankful at all…even if he been able to convince the maid to leave him his belt and neckerchief …the maid hadn't seen anything wrong with Arthur having the items because she wasn't a knight. Who would have taken all he had in case Arthur had something dangerous hidden in the fabric or something.
But the only thing's Arthur had managed to keep wasn't of any danger to somebody else. Not his belt, which held the pouch with Merlin's flower attached to it. He would have fought to the death before he allowed that out of his sight, not trusting that the men would drop it off in his room like he was trusting them to bring his armor-not that he care much for that right now but the two items were vastly different in comparison. And then he had the neckerchief…Arthur shifted where he stood, as he had done something drastic to hide the neckerchief from his father upon his arrival. Knowing it would be taken from him should he recognize it as belonging to Merlin…there was only a very slim chance of Uther recognizing it, but that was a slim chance the prince wasn't risking. He'd already underestimated his father the once, as his arrest could attest too…he only hoped Merlin never figured out what he had done with it.
And Arthur Pendragon shifted again, refusing to give into the urge to readjust his pants. God help him, the only place Arthur could fit Merlin's neckerchief had been straight down the front of his pants. Luckily, he wore his underthings so it also wasn't pressed directly against his neither regions. But it was still too close for comfort, all large and bulky and uncomfortable. But the only thing his moving around did was make it slide neatly into place against him, forcing his cock to be jutted up at this awkward angel through his underwear as it slipped underneath it. He should probably just be lucky his father didn't notice any odd lumps between his legs…he wouldn't have been able to go explaining away something like this, if his father investigated.
"Ah, yes. The boy. Your…consort." Uther sneered, and his voice dropped into something that was decidedly more calmer, while tucking his hands casually behind his back. Uther seemed as if he was calm, but Arthur eyed him as if he was this snake trying to hide in the grass before he struck. Hearing Merlin's title-and knowing what his father thought of his consort-made his teeth feel on edge. "The reason you deliberately disobeyed me…and the reason you ran off. Leaving me with no idea whether or not my only son was dead. Leaving me to wonder whether or not I would have your body brought to me after the riders I would've eventually sent after you, found you dead in a ditch. Merlin will be blamed for that one of course. He might be the one that is poisoned, but he has clearly poisoned your mind if this horrid attitude of yours is anything to go by."
Arthur felt himself bristling in defense…his attitude wasn't at all horrid. In fact, Arthur could be so much more worse than he was being right now. He could have been throwing himself at the king, demanding answers about Merlin. Screaming for the answers denied to him, shoving the king against the wall until he got something! But Uther was still his father, even if it was quite liberating to be able to say even half of the things he'd been thinking. Like how wrong his father was, how absolutely terribly wrong Uther Pendragon had been before, when he had made the executive decision to not allow Arthur to leave. And
how wrong he was now.
"Merlin didn't poison my mind. He didn't do anything to me! Or at least nothing more than what I deserved." Arthur spoke with Merlin's defense in mind…he was smart enough to know Uther was only trying to guilt trip him. Make him slide down onto his knees and grovel for forgiveness, apologizing for what his king must've been going through, thinking him possibly dead. And giving the kind of pain no father should have to go through-the pain of losing a child. But it wasn't going to work. Not like that might've worked before…nothing could've rivaled the guilt he'd been left with by Merlin. "And I know you're angry with me, but I will just tell you now, I would do it again. If I could go back in time and play the last few days over again, then the one thing I would do differently is leaving earlier. Give me a few hours that Merlin won't be in excruciating pain as his organs are shutting down one at a time."
Arthur enunciated his words forcibly, trying to remind his king what was at stake here. He hadn't ran off so he could try and attend some party the peasants teens were throwing in some abandoned hut on the edge of the kingdom like he had when he was fifteen…he'd been curious about wanting to see what a party ran by peasants would look like. But he hadn't gotten out of the castle before the guards had found him, and the look on Uther's face had been enough to curve anymore impulses with sneaking out of the castle unattended. But this here, this was so much bigger than that. It was life or death…it was Merlin…it was something that couldn't be competed with. But the blond prince saw the way his father's eyes sharpened on him, and he felt a muscle in his jaw twitching violently.
"I know that you do not want to hear this, father. But what was I supposed to do? You weren't listening to reason, and a man's life was at stake. You might be okay with letting him die, but I'd be the one that has to live with knowing I allowed him to." Said the prince, forcibly lowering his tone so he could sound like he hadn't gone round the bend. Uther would leave him here if the king thought Arthur was unreasonable and being ruled only by his temper. "I couldn't allow any man to die like my consort will die. But Merlin isn't just any man, he's my consort. A Royal. His safety and life should be the first priority above anything else just as your life or mine would have been if there was a chance of saving it. There was a chance to save him, so I took it. Don't allow Merlin to die just because you are angry with me."
Arthur could see the agitation brewing in his father's eyes, and he knew that he wasn't getting anywhere with him. But he had Merlin's ring hot and heavy on his finger. And he had the boy's neckerchief rubbing between his thighs, creating a friction that he forcibly ignored. And he wondered 'why'. Why did his father hate Merlin so much, he would let him die? Why did he insist to have Arthur being the one to carry that burden. Uther might be able to sleep after all of this. But it would be Arthur who spent night after night staring up at his canopy, and thinking on what he could have done differently. Both right now, and with all the other issues he had caused Merlin. But either way, Arthur was rubbing his fingers together so he could feel the ring just a bit more firmly…reminding him of where his loyalties should be.
And it wasn't to his father.
"You and I both know that he is not a real royal! I was the one who brought him into this family! He was nothing more than a common street mongrel before he was tracked down and then became a burden to us." Uther growled down at his son, Arthur gritted his teeth down sharply. Something inside of him felt as if it was starting to splinter like glass, his father's body and the two guards he had brought with him being the only thing that stopped him from 'racing' to the burden he wanted to have, to keep. "Without us, he would still be in whatever little hovel, rat invested place our soldiers found him in. Without us, he would have never been given the life of luxury he's has these last few months. Royal…ha!"
Without us, Arthur finished privately in his mind while his body started to tremble…he would still be alive. Without us, he'd be at his home living whatever life he had before Arthur had gone and ruined him. And without ARTHUR, Merlin would be…Merlin would be…he would be living! Not just alive. But actually living his life. Being happy and splendid and beautiful and god, even taking men to his bed at his own discretion. Because Arthur'd not be there to ruin it. And ruin him. And ruin…fuck! Arthur just wouldn't be there to ruin everything. Merlin had been doing so great-he was sure of it-before Arthur had entered his life. And his father was making it sound-just as Arthur had done many, many times before-as if Merlin should've been grateful.
But what should Merlin have been grateful for? For somebody he should have trusted-Arthur-to drive him into hurting himself just to get away from him? Grateful to have a husband that had been so inattentive, that he didn't even realize one of the very few men he actually respected was also related to him. To get a husband who didn't know he had been literally starving, and for quite some time if his slim weight was anything to go by, to control something. To have a husband that still didn't know all the facts, and wanted to hear them from Merlin….who still did not know what some of his knights had done to make Gaius be all angry when he'd been shouting about them. To have Arthur as his lifetime partner…Arthur who had spent so much time in the beginning just telling Merlin they'd find a way to send him off somewhere…banishing him to some far corner of the earth to never be seen again. God, what Merlin must've thought as Arthur had been sprouting his nonsense!
"What he was born as doesn't matter, you forced him into my responsibility the day we were wedded! He might not have the same blood that I do, but he is still royal! And I am only doing what you have been telling me to do this entire time! Keep an eye on Merlin and make him befitting as a consort. I cannot do that if he is already dead!" Arthur exclaimed loudly, jerking his hand down and pointing violently at the floor to enunciate his point. "And maybe you haven't noticed, but Morgana isn't one of us either! And people still treat her like royalty because you took her in! And I might as well have taken Merlin in! Why does my husband not get treated the same as your ward does?"
Arthur was breathing hard, the violence stirring in his blood…he would have already shoved the man out of his way if it was not his father. But his point still stood…Arthur could remember the day Uther had returned home after his trip, bringing a little twelve year old girl into their home. And suddenly it wasn't just Arthur sitting at the table during their monthly dinners, back in his youth when he had actually wanted to sit with his father as it was one of the few times they could spent time together. He also wasn't the only one standing just behind his father when walking down the hallways together. Or the one sitting beside him in a fancy chair as the king sat on his throne, listening to peasants complaining about their issues. He was no longer the only one in the castle that needed to attend lessons and have tasks meant for him to accomplish and appearances to keep in front of others…and now all those changes were happening all over again. Only with Merlin standing beside Arthur, because the two of them were supposed to be a unit. Merlin was meant to look to Arthur for guidance and surety and safety and..
He was meant to stand at Arthur's side.
Arthur.
Not Uther's.
"You know that this situation is not nearly the same thing as it was when Morgana arrived. She was already a noble far longer than when she came to live with us. She had already started to have her formal education, was breed to stand amongst those in the court. She had every advantage handed to her, and all I did was continue what her parents started. She has generation after generation of family blood going back centuries running through her veins? And what does Merlin have? Nothing. Since nobody bothers keeping up with the family tree of people who have no meaning." Uther hissed darkly at the prince, his brows coming together in the center of his forehead. Uther shook his head, face scrunching in disgust. "I do not understand where this new attitude of yours is coming from. I don't think I have ever had this much trouble trying to get you to understand the way the world works."
Arthur's lip curled up in disgust, because he understood how the world worked plenty, and he was pretty sure Merlin learned how it worked as well, the hard way. A world in which the men like them-nobles-were given whatever they needed handed to them on a silver platter. No questions asked. While the people like Merlin were left to flounder in the mud, expected by them to be able to look after themselves. Unable to even get quality health care because people like Uther thought them to be only undeserving of it. And Arthur was ashamed to admit he'd had the same mindset only days ago. But Arthur supposed that it'd also been before his consort was lost beneath the system. The stupidly happy boy Arthur had literally beaten down like he had been a rabid dog that needed to put down before he managed to infect the rest of them with whatever it was that had him so different from everybody else. It was disgusting to think even his marriage to Arthur wasn't enough to get him whatever he needed.
"Perhaps the change in my attitude is the results of watching a man I tormented daily, half just for the fun of it, give his life to get away from me. Changes a man's view on what is supposed to be important." Arthur drawled out, the sarcasm dripping out of him as he emulated his inner Merlin. The boy Merlin'd been before Arthur had ruined it wouldn't be afraid to show this side to his father. Because the stupid boy was brave and Arthur had never given him the credit he deserved for that bravery. "When somebody sees something like that, it tends to affect a person more than they thought it may. And honestly, perhaps I needed to have a good reality check before I did something that might hurt him beyond what I can repair."
Though honestly, Arthur didn't even know whether or not he'd damaged Merlin beyond prepare. It wasn't just his body that'd been broken. It was his soul and his spirit and his heart, all the things that had made Merlin who he was to begin with. He was relying on this flower to do most of the healing for him, get the gratitude from Merlin that'd open the door and let Arthur in so he could see what needed to be fixed. But Arthur had not ever been good when it came to emotions, had never been in such a bad place he needed to do something as drastic as Merlin'd done. He wasn't sure if he was equipped to handle all of these problems he had caused. But at least Arthur could heal up his body…that had to mean something. But god help him, should this still not be good enough. Merlin had always made a habit of going left when Arthur had thought he'd go right. The blond had bloody well hated that, but he would give anything just for him to see it now.
"Why do you care so much? Why are you arguing for the sake and on the behalf of a common boy who's done nothing more than caused us problems that we needed to clean up." Asked the king. And for the first time, Arthur could actually see some of the confusion in his eyes. Genuinely asking why Arthur was doing all of this…but the prince still bristled. Sure, he had said the same thing thousands of times-what did Merlin do to them other than cause problems? But it wasn't Uther that was going to be cleaning up the messes or diplomatic incidents left in the consort's wake. That would be Arthur. And it was offensive for the king to claim 'us' in that sentence, as if they were actually together in this. Instead of Uther leaving Arthur to flounder like he'd left Merlin. And it was offensive for the king to say Merlin had done nothing since he'd been here other than being cause for their problems-even though Arthur had often pitched his fit about the same thing-when they both knew Merlin had always been the solution to many of their problems. There wasn't any telling what Camelot would look like today if Merlin'd actually listened to Arthur and stayed where he was supposed to be, "I thought we had already made an agreement. We were going to allow things to play out as they would. And once the boy's left this world, we were going to see about getting you married off to Lady Clarissa. What would she think if she saw how much of a ruffian you were behaving like. This kind of behavior is most likely going to chase her away before you even have a chance to propose."
And Arthur hissed sharply, his knee jerking as he gnashed his teeth together…he'd somehow-not surprising at all-forgotten of Lady Clarissa. And his father's insane notion of having him married off again before Merlin's body had even gone cold to Arthur's touch. His father, who was bloody well speaking as if it was already a done deal. If it wasn't such a crash notion, he would have thought Uther was already in contact with the girl's parents in order to work out the arrangements all proper, while completely ignoring whether or not their children wanted that arrangement. And most people would probably be alright with that kind of arrangement. It was expected between two noble families in order to keep the bloodline strong. And Clarissa had literally been everything a well brought up Lady was meant to be, despite her tendency to wonder into the bedrooms of men she had no business being with.
But so had Merlin.
But Clarissa wasn't Merlin…
And Arthur couldn't stomach a future with her.
His one real experience with her had been enough to dissuade him from any future goals that involved her being at his side or near him in any capacity. She was just so utterly dull whenever he compared her to Merlin. A Lady who had no substance that wouldn't entertain him outside of the importance of her name and the family that would come with her. But Merlin also had an important family to bring into their marriage, and he worked to get whatever he wanted. Strange, but…oddly enduring. And for whatever godforsaken reason that kept people bringing his past entanglements with Clarissa into their arguments, would be ripped in the bud. Right here and right now.
"There is never going to be any proposal, father. Because let me say this loud and clear, I am never going to marry Clarissa of all people! I didn't agree to do anything with her, that would have been you. Once again making agreements on my behalf." Arthur said, surprisingly bold and giving literally zero fucks on what his father thought on his 'new attitude'. Though he wasn't surprised to hear his father scoffing, Arthur had said basically the same thing when he had heard of his marriage to Merlin. It was different this time though, because Arthur meant it with all the cells in his body. He would not marry Clarissa. Even if-God forbid-Merlin died, he wouldn't go through with it. It would've been his only way to honor Merlin, knowing how much his boy hated the girl. "If I am to be honest, father. I would prefer it if I stayed married to Merlin. If my only other option is to let Merlin die on my behalf, then I would allow him to wreak havoc on my life for the rest of our lives if I must. Instead of allowing a man who's innocent to die for me. Aren't we nobles supposed to be better than that?"
Arthur once again jerked his arm, pointing at the floor as if he was trying to emphasize his point. Because his father'd spent most of Arthur's life talking about how important their role with society was. How nobles spent their days looking out for those lesser than them, offering them protection in return for service and loyalty. But what loyalty was there to be have when they'd be willing to sacrifice people like Merlin on the mantle. People wouldn't remain loyal to them for long, if people ever found out Uther had wanted Merlin to die. Because how much longer will it be before King Uther turned on the rest of the kingdom after it was proven not even the Royal consort had been safe under his rule.
"We nobles are better than that! That is exactly why we should do this. Sometimes sacrifices have to be made. And yes, I may have sheltered you a bit but-" Arthur's eyes nearly popped out of his head, an almost insane smile spreading across his face with these words. Because his father had only ever sheltered him against magic, though that was becoming less and less as he grew, and only because he hadn't wanted to risk getting his one and only heir too close to something so volatile. "You'll be able to see once enough time has passed on that this was the right call. Perhaps it's troubling to lose your first marriage with such a tragic death, but it will hardly be your last, even if there isn't a wedding involving Lady Clarissa. It will be somebody. So this is just something that you 'need' to get used to. As a king-to-be, death will be unavoidable."
This was Uther's piss poor attempt at being 'understanding' of his son's plights. And it was sounding too much like what he'd been saying when Arthur had went to him requesting a group of men to join him on his quest into the mountains. But it only succeeded in alienating Arthur even further, his lips going thin and stalk white. He wanted to grab at his hair and squeeze till the only thing he could feel was the pain, and even then, it was going to be only a smidgen of what pain Merlin had felt during these last three days. Or even longer. But fucking hell, Arthur thought wildly, his father wasn't listening to a single word he was saying. Any attempt Arthur made bringing Merlin into this was only being dismissed or ignored. His father refused to see the bigger picture here. Refused to understand a man dying is not something that should have been seen as a 'good thing.'
And Merlin specifically dying…it was worse than Arthur having to suffer through the same pain he did a thousand times over, trying to rip him in half and flay his insides way. His father did not understand. But fuck, Arthur wanted to make him. Wanted to make him understand that staying married to Merlin, having him in his life…was probably the only thing that would be able to keep Arthur steady. If he had something that was inherently perfect and troubled and beautifully destructive to keep focus on.
"This wasn't just some accident! Merlin didn't just pick some random concoction off the table and stupidly drunk it without knowing what it was. He didn't drink one of Gaius' vials that's not labeled for the poison that it is! He knew what was inside my goblet! And he knew what would happen if he drank from that goblet! But you know what he did when nobody else out there offered to come forward? He drunk it himself." said the prince, the frustration leaking out of his tone until it felt like it was the only emotion he could feel. He didn't know how much he could repeat this before it finally dawned on his father just how wrong his plan was. Or how much time he had to waste on his father's decision. "He saved my life, and it's dishonorable of me to do anything less than the same. Which was exactly why I did what I did. You have absolutely no idea what I faced out there, just so you can bring me here!"
Arthur's voice had risen into a shout, pointing in the direction of where Balor Forest would be located. And try as he might…all the memories of the last few days rushed back to his head in a rush of pictures and images that made him dizzy. Having his freak out in the woods, running into the sorceress barely a day later. Being seduced and turned down the same sorceress who had tried to kill him and admitted she wanted his consort as her own. And then the earth quake and the spiders and the glowing ball of light Arthur still could hardly think about…all of it had strained Arthur to his core. Only adrenaline and knowing just how close he was to Merlin, was the only thing keeping his feet on the ground. His willingness to fight for Merlin being the only thing that kept his mouth moving, saying words that were not slurred and blending together with exhaustion.
"Then why don't you go ahead and tell me?" Uther demanded in the same equally rough tone Arthur had been using, but the king had a cruel glint in his eye. Waving his hand as if he were being generous for giving Arthur the floor in order to speak up and say his piece. It only made Arthur grit his teeth harder, and forced to resist the urge to roll up his eyes towards the angels and throw his hands down against his sides in frustration…that would only accomplish one thing. Making Uther see him as just a child throwing a fit. Instead of a man who had made his mind clear and wasn't going to go back on it now. "You're seemingly in a talking mood. So please, go ahead and tell me. Tell me all about the danger you got in after you ran off despite my clear instructions not to leave this castle, Arthur. I am sure it would be very thrilling to all of us."
Uther's voice had shifted into something sarcastic and ugly, as he gestured to the two additional knights standing behind him as added insurance to keep Arthur put. And Arthur knew-sure as he knew his own name and knew Merlin was worth far more than any of these knights here who kept him imprisoned in the cells of his own kingdom-that his father didn't give one damn or one wit about the danger he'd been in. He only cared about his precious orders being ignored. Not about his son possibly dying or being half traumatized or anything about what he was going through. Because in Uther's eyes, none of it would have happened if Arthur was a brainless clown who did-as Morgana had put it-exactly what his father told him to do. But perhaps a memory of his held something Uther would actually care, since his son's safety meant so little to him.
"There's more than just me leaving to worry about, father. The mountains…there was a woman there. She looked injured and I thought she needed my help, but it turns out that she was just waiting for me there. She knew I was coming for the flower and she simply waited for me to show up. She-" Arthur cut himself off abruptly, circling his jaw several times while trying to think on how he should say this. But how was he supposed to speak about a deranged sorceress who wanted to take Merlin as her own because she also saw something Arthur saw brimming in his consort. His father would never believe it, Arthur wouldn't have believed it if he hadn't became her victim. But he had to say something…had to rework it into something that was more believable than 'a sorceress is inappropriately attracted toward the consort you hate'. Arthur averted his eyes before he lied to his father straight through his teeth, "She wanted to find a way to get to Merlin. That's why I need to see him now, she may be on her way right now to try and take him. She thinks that he is the weakest link in the royal family, and can give her important information on Camelot. The city's weak points and the access points and where the escape tunnels and all that are. This was all just some master plan of hers to get Merlin weak enough to not fight back. In fact, she admitted to my face that the King of Mercia had no involvement in this. Just another victim in some deranged attempt to get her hands on my consort."
Arthur could feel a droplet of sweat working its way down the side of his neck, disappearing somewhere between his top as his father gave him a beady eyed stare. Arthur met it back eye to eye, refusing to look away again and give away how he had been lying. Perhaps Arthur should have just said the sorceress wanted Merlin for more personal reasons, but his father would surely want to keep Merlin under lock and key just in case he's speaking the truth. Uther would want to keep the information on their city-information Merlin didn't even have, since Arthur had never bothered teaching him the finer points he needed to know in case of a sudden attack on the kingdom-close at hand to them. That kind of information being let out in the world was dangerous enough to warrant an immediate lockdown around his consort…gaining Merlin a bit more protection while Arthur was being otherwise engaged. But Arthur's heart dropped like a stone straight to his stomach when his king ultimately shook his head.
"Honestly, Arthur. Have I taught you nothing? You should be smarter than that. There is no chance of some woman you met in the middle of the woods managing to come up with this plan and be successful at it. She is a woman. And a lone one, if you did not meet any others out there as well. She would not have the resources, skills, or brains to pull this off like a man, a king, could. She was clearly just trying to mess with you or distract you. Perhaps she was even sent by Bayard as a way of proving his innocence and giving us a reason to release him." Said the king, having already came up with his own theories in the past twenty seconds. Theories that dismissed what Arthur tried to tell him…god! Was this what Merlin had felt like? During all the times Merlin had brought him some information and he'd gone and ignored it…the frustration was unreal. "You are truly being a foolish man, Arthur Pendragon, if you seriously think that the woman is any threat to us. Or to your consort. Who, unless I'm mistaken, wouldn't be able to help her anyway. Unless you, my son, have decided to give him his proper education when I was not looking?"
And by Uther's sneering face, Arthur could only deduce that his lie wasn't holding as strong he wanted it to be. As much as Arthur wanted to know Merlin and everything there was that made him tick, his father already knew-or thought he knew-all about him. And he knew full well Arthur hadn't bothered giving up all their state secrets to Merlin. Information Merlin might've actually been entitled to know. What was a kingdom's consort if they didn't hold at least a basic knowledge on the kingdom's defenses and the protocols to follow during an emergency that involved an immediate evacuation…things somebody would kill to know so they could take down the kingdom by working the defenses against them. And Arthur's face colored a little while a muscle in his jawline started twitching violently.
"No." Arthur breathed out, simple and strong while he glared down at the floor as if it had somehow offended him. "I haven't taught him anything. But that shouldn't matter. If this woman is thinking Merlin knows something, or…wants him for a different reason, then we should be prepared-" Arthur stopped himself from talking as he realized…this was only a waste of time. His father wasn't going to take him serious. Not even pointing out this woman was a sorceress would've been enough to get his father to take notice. Because Merlin didn't know anything and could not be used against them…he shook his head before he was reaching down into his pouch. "Please, just bring these to the physician's quarters. Gaius will know what to do with this if you do."
Arthur knew very well that he was risking it all, begging for his father to show he had a shred of humanity inside of him, as he pulled the flowers out. He held them up between them, letting his gaze fall down upon the yellow petals for a single second-so small and delicate and amazing in the second chance they could give him-before looking past them to his father. To Uther who gazed at them contemplating. But Arthur had to hold onto some kind of hope, knowing it was very unlikely he would have the chance to leave the cells today. But if Uther would only do this one thing for him, then Arthur didn't even care if he wasn't going to be there to greet Merlin. It would have been selfish of him to hold onto these flowers when somebody else could act in his proxy.
But Arthur still felt his stomach churning when Uther took the flowers from him, holding them delicately in his hand. There is just something about seeing the black glove covering Uther's hand, and seeing them holding onto something that was more important than anything else Arthur possessed…that unsettled him. Arthur felt as if he was handing off his child to a stranger without thought. He felt as if he was handing his lover off to a dangerous being without hesitation. He felt as if Merlin and his life and his future was now being handed over to his father and his father was not somebody Arthur felt comfortable relying on with this. Especially since he knew the man's view toward's his consort. But Arthur literally had nobody else he could hand the flower off to, since he himself couldn't complete the mission.
A more prideful Arthur wouldn't have given up, he would have fought for his right to stand at Merlin's bedside while the cure was being administered. But Arthur's pride had no business in this tragedy, when his pride could be getting in the way of the consort getting what he needed. Maybe Uther could deny his consort his right to be healed when the only cure was in some far off dangerous forest. But things had to be different now…it was literally in Uther's hands! The cure! The thing his son had fought and risked his life to get…surely his father would go and do what is right. But still, his father wasn't moving and the man could feel his self doubt deepening, wondering if he had been wrong. And when his father still didn't leave, Arthur tried with this fevered desperation to sweeten the deal.
"You can put me in the stocks for a week if you want! Even for a month, I don't really care. I'll even stay in this cell for a year if that's what it will take to appease you for my defiance. But I do implore you…you have to get this flower to Merlin." Arthur said, his pleading tone returning. He wasn't asking his king to grant him a pardon or do him a favor. He was a son, asking his father to put aside their differences and help him. "I am begging you …I need Merlin to stick around. I cannot…I cannot live with the responsibility of failure on my shoulders…"
His voice cracked dangerously, the anger seeping out of him to leave nothing but deep seated sorrow behind. His chest was squeezing tight, as if he had been squeezed into the corset of a woman two sizes too small for him. His hands trembled with the effort it took to not snatch the flower back from the king's hand, bringing it into his warm embrace where he knew it was going to be taken care of until he gave it to Gaius. Keeping the delicate gentleness of those petals-Merlin-safe until the aged physician could take over. And Uther started glancing towards the flowers in hand, and back to him again, face contorted into a strange expression. But Arthur didn't care…he didn't care for anything. He didn't care if his father publicly flogged him right in the middle of town square for his defiance…he just needed to know Merlin wasn't going to suffer anymore.
"I don't understand, Arthur. You risked your life and the future of this kingdom for a boy? You risked not returning and getting involved in matters that could ruin you…for a flower?" Said the king slowly, still flicking his eyes between the flowers and what expression was on his son's face. As if there was some kind of huge puzzle in front of him that he had trouble finding certain pieces to fill in the gaps. And Arthur wanted to explain himself-god, did he want to explain himself-but he knew his father was not going to understand. There were moments where he didn't quite understand it himself. But…it was Merlin. Arthur's stupid and brave little consort…how could he have not risked it all for Merlin? "What has that boy done to you?"
If Arthur hadn't been so taken in with the flowers, maybe he'd have heard the dawning horror in the king's voice. Scared of a man-a boy, really-having so much influence and power heaped on top of Camelot's heir. But Arthur didn't, and he only heard a question he didn't know the answer to. How could he possibly explain to his father what his consort had done to him? Could he explain all the fights they've gotten into in all these months together? Could he explain how he looked at Merlin and didn't know what to think…didn't know how a boy so fierce could be a simple peasant. Didn't know how a boy so brave could have became his. Didn't know how a boy so strong could be only a simple consort, instead or ruling nations as people bowed just to be closer to his presence…his quality, that forced people to become obsessed with him. Didn't know how he could explain how beaten down Merlin was because…of him.
How could Arthur even began to explain the charge of flowing electricity that had erupted across him the very day they met, the excitement he had felt when blue eyes had met his without cowering. How could Arthur begin to explain what Merlin did to make Arthur insane…make Arthur want to possess him…to try and explain the rush whenever he had seen Merlin pinned to a flat surface. Pinned beneath him as he squirmed to escape his grasp. How could Arthur even begin to explain the dread in his gut, the anger in his soul, and the sorrow in his heart, when he had seen Merlin crumbled to the ground. Struggling with every breath he tried to take…how it had only doubled and tripled his agony with each new fact he'd had shouted at him by Gaius as Merlin had laid dying not two feet away. How could he begin to explain this to a king who would never understand…that it was only Merlin in his mind. Feeling out spaces he hadn't known he had.
There were no words for it.
No words for what he was feeling.
No explanation Arthur could give that Uther would take.
Arthur swallowed hard…
"He did something that needed to be done." Arthur said simple and bold, looking at his father with eyes that seemed to age at least ten years since they last saw each other. He was sure his father still wouldn't understand the power Merlin held over him -it should have been concerning to know how much power the boy had, but it wasn't. It felt right-but he was starting to get a grasp of it. Without Merlin being in his life…how much longer is Arthur going to act without thought? Act without paying much attention to the damage left in his wake. Merlin was starting to change him…irrevocably and so throughly that Arthur wouldn't be able to recognize himself by the time he was done…but the prince would stay. Because as long as Merlin was standing by his side…he could finally breathe again. "I know that you won't understand, father. But please, if you will just do what I ask of you-" he nodded down to the flower in hand. "Maybe we could sit down and discuss a few things afterwards."
Arthur's voice had been clear and concise, spoken with the air of somebody destined to be a king, rather than just a petulant child throwing a fit for not getting his way. And Arthur may not be able to explain to his father the severity of Merlin's impact on him, but there were other things to discuss. Ways on having Merlin more involved in the daily going ons of the court-maybe give him a task more challenging than picking out dish ware to see how he responded. Discussions on getting an actual tutor brought to Camelot to teach Merlin proper, paid for and being completely sponsored by Arthur himself, nothing but the best to be given. Maybe more clothes to show off his status as the prince's consort, clothes less revealing than what Merlin wore the night he was poisoned so Arthur wouldn't feel the urge to kill somebody who looked. And there was also a whole slew of different things Arthur wasn't thinking about right now, things that would make Merlin spend more time in his presence while they went over lesser important things.
Because nothing was more important than Arthur spending a bit of time with Merlin.
And what other excuse would he have where Merlin wouldn't be able to just run away from him because of their history.
But time was dragging forth and Uther was still staring at him, but Arthur only pushed his shoulders back further. And Arthur didn't know it yet-but perhaps he would realize years down the line, as his father's gaze slowly slid back to his flower-but this was the moment. The first moment in his life in which he had defied his father…his first step towards getting out of Uther's shadow…his first step towards becoming the king he would be someday. The very beginning's of the man who would once be known as Arthur Pendragon, the Once and Future King…
Uther Pendragon crushed the flower in his hand, squeezing his fist slowly to ensure the petals were completely crushed in his hand. It was so slow, and Arthur seemed to see it as if it was in slow motion. And the worse of it…Uther stared his son dead in the eye as he crushed Arthur's heart straight into dust. Arthur couldn't even compute what had happened for a moment, his body reacting as his breath hitched before his brain was able to catch up. The fist of Uther's hand so tight, smothering the sunshine petals from Arthur's view, finally propelled him into action.
"NO!"
The scream wretched out of Arthur's throat as if he had gone and swallowed razor wire, taking a step forward as if he would be able to save the flowers if he acted fast enough. But it was already too late, the prince realized as his face turned stricken and sick. He couldn't take his eyes off the king's fist, his heart pounding with anguish flooding his entire body…and the prince was forced to watch as his heart-his Merlin-was killed right in front of his eyes. Uther might not have been the one holding a knife, or the one that had poured the poison down Merlin's thin throat. But he might as well have been the one that killed him…and Arthur couldn't understand how everything had gone and went wrong in such a short amount of time. How he'd lost his consort before he had even gotten him. How had he…perhaps he should have fought harder. Escape the guards that had met him at the gates instead of engaging them in combat…
"You have to learn that there's a right way and a wrong way of doing things. You've done nothing but wrong since you've left and I refuse to allow you to continue defying me, Arthur." The king spoke in a cold tone, no ounce of sympathy in his face as he watched his son breaking down in front of him. As far as he was concerned, Uther was doing this for Arthur's own good. It might not look like it now, but he was positive his son would be thanking him for this lesson a few years from now. "Perhaps I'll release you once Gaius makes the death announcement. Or I'll keep you in here for a week as punishment. I haven't decide on that front, but you will figure it out when I decide to come and get you. And after the funeral, you can even help me decide a proper lady from the court, if you're still adamant about giving Lady Clarissa a refusal, as your next bride."
And Uther-positive Arthur would understand the lengths any father would be willing to go to keep his son on the right path towards his future-dropped the bundle of flowers as if it were nothing more than trash. And Arthur watched as the flowers-shredded beyond belief and unrecognizable -floated slowly to the ground, and landing on the dirty floor right outside his cell. Arthur, with his cheeks sucked in as he held his breath in order to not scream-though his vocal cords weren't working anyway-could feel his stomach churn. Merlin's flowers should not be on the dirty floor. They should not be coated in a fine layer of dust waiting for somebody to sweep them away before being taken to where the other trash was. The flowers were precious gems, each one more beautiful than the last one was and yet…they were mistreated and abused. Used. Left out to rot as his father stepped out of the doorway to his cell. The doors slammed shut in his face, and Arthur still couldn't keep his eyes off the flowers that had dimmed considerably…
Like Merlin…abused and mistreated and used and left to rot as he dimmed…
Arthur didn't know how long he stood there in frozen shock-it could have been minutes or hours or days or even years-but it was hearing the larger doors slamming shut as his father went and left him behind that propelled him forward. The prince was flinging himself onto the ground, his knees hitting the dirt floor and plastering his chest against it. He didn't care if he was the prince, didn't care if he was supposed to be better than some mongrel looking for his next supper. Because Arthur didn't feel much like a prince right now…he was only a man. A man whose husband needed him…a man whose father couldn't be trusted to help…he knew that now. And he wouldn't make that kind of mistake again, as he stretched his arm through the bars of his cell to try and reach the flower.
The single knight guarding him wasn't any help, and Arthur did not care about what a pathetic sight he must look like trying to reach the flowers. They were just out of his reach, and Arthur's face scrunched up in pain as he tried pushing himself as far as he could get. He rolled his shoulder, tears stinging harshly and hot as he pressed his cheek against the bars of his cell. It was a shock to his system, the cold metal bar concaving indentions into his skin. But Arthur kept pressing forward, and his fingers scraped uselessly at the stone floor, barely centimeters away from grasping onto it…and he tried to ignore the betrayal that coursed through him.
Uther Pendragon was his father…his bloody father! It shouldn't matter that he was a king whose first and only duty was to his people and his kingdom. He should have been able to look his son in the eye and trusted him, just once, to make this kind of decision. Uther should have been a bloody father! And tried to help his son, to make everything better…not once again put a kingdom that wouldn't be affected by this ahead of him. Even if Uther wasn't doing this to hurt Arthur, and was only doing it to rid himself of Merlin, it didn't make the searing pain feel any less. Because Merlin was a part of him, and Uther may as well have just struck Arthur down where he stood…it might've hurt less if he had.
The tip of his fingers grazed along the very edge of the flower closest to him…and Arthur knew he wouldn't care if he had to mutilate himself against these bars just to reach it. He did not care if his father decided to show up a month from now only to find Arthur with deep facial scars bloody and infected scarring his face…he would give it all. He would give everything he had-from his body, to his soul, to what earthly possessions he had-in order to reach that flower. Arthur didn't know how he would do this, maybe it was his own panicked state forcing him to do the impossible, but he knew this wasn't going to be the end.
It couldn't be…
Arthur's fist curled around the flower.
X
Gwen strode into the physicians chambers as fast as her feet were able to carry her, having long since abandoned her water bucket and leaving her hands empty. This wasn't the first time she had been in these chambers since Arthur had arrived back in the castle. As soon as the prince was dragged away from his place in front of the gates, Morgana and Gwen had ran quickly back to the physician's quarters. Where Morgana had hurriedly explained what they had seen…then the two girls had waiting impatiently for Uther to return from where he had stashed the prince. But it was only Gwen that returned, her dainty feel only making the slightest of thuds to announce her presence.
"Merlin doesn't have much longer. He could go at any minute if things don't change. Already, his heart rate has fallen into this dangerously low territory." Gaius spoke when he noticed Gwen striding forward. He was sitting right where Gwen had left him the first time she'd walked out, by Merlin's bedside. With Leon standing above the bed, a startling blank expression along his face. The knight had immediately wanted to leave when he had heard of Arthur's return, he had wanted to do something to try assisting his prince. But Gaius had talked him down…there was nothing Leon could say to Uther that Arthur couldn't say. He'd only be walking in unprepared and in the way and while leaving behind his charge to boot. Needless to say, he hadn't been too pleased. But accepted where he was supposed to be, "Tell me you have received some kind of news on what's going on right now? Or where Arthur is? Or at least know whether or not he's brought the flower with him."
Gwen sucked her top lip into her mouth, wringing her hands in an anxious motion. She knew the only reason she had returned back to these chambers-and left Morgana behind-was so she could give Gaius and Leon a status report on the situation they were facing. But the truth was-as Gwen wrung her fingers into the folds of her skirts-there was nothing to report. The King of Camelot had only just arrived when she'd left, leaving Morgana to try and be the voice of reason. If the king would be willing to listen to begin with…there was no telling with the king. Whose temper was volatile at best….
"I don't know." Gwen admitted, finding her voice enough to do this much. She had gotten better in the last few hours trying to get herself to talk as her stint in the dungeons started ebbing away. But she was still stilted and unsure, waiting for people to start ignoring her like they had when she had been accused of witchcraft. But nobody ever did, and she continued speaking, "All we know is that Arthur's been locked in the dungeons. And there's no way of getting down there, no word being spread on the gossip mill on whether or not he's brought anything. Uther isn't allowing him to have visitors so we can't even go down to see for ourselves…Morgana is trying to convince him to let her visit him at least. But considering the king already knows she didn't do anything to stop Arthur from leaving, there probably isn't much hope that he'd let her."
Gwen's voice died down again, weakly tugging an erect curl behind her ear…she was just so weary. And tired. And nothing was being done. She truly didn't see how Morgana was going to convince Uther to let her do anything, let alone grant her an unsupervised visit-where she could discreetly ask Arthur if he succeeded in his mission. But Gaius hadn't been lying either about how bad things were getting, this was the worse Merlin had looked since he'd drunk the poison. Barely moving to suck in his breaths, skin pastier than the glue Gwen sometimes had to use to plaster something together. What hope could any of them possible have for Merlin's swift recovery, when it looked as if the final hour was finally upon them.
"There's got to be something we can do other than just waiting around to see if Lady Morgana can get anywhere with the king right now? Perhaps we can do some kind of recon strategy to get to Arthur that way?" Leon suggested, having gotten just as invested in seeing this through as the rest of them had, forcing his eyes into narrowed slits as he thought on the details to get something like that to work. "All we need is a man on the inside of things. Or a man that could get on the inside. We could find another knight…one that wouldn't mind getting his hands just a little messy if he gets caught. Derrick, perhaps? He could tell the guard watching the cells that Uther wants him to go in and get an official statement from Arthur. If the prince did succeed and has the flower on him, then it shouldn't be too hard to get it slipped back out undetected. And Derrick's a wild card. He'd most likely be up for the challenge, especially if we tell him it's for Merlin."
The plan sounded solid in theory, but Gwen had one hovering in mind that was better. And she clenched her hands tighter in her skirts to hide their shaking, biting her lip hard enough for a taste of blood to start emerging. She knew she was only going to cause more damage to herself, traumatize herself further all over again, if she actually went through with what was coming to mind. But…one look at Merlin forced Gwen to harden herself up a bit. She knew Merlin would place himself directly at some sacrificial altar if it was her in his position. She should run and hide beneath her bed instead of saying what she was about to say, but she didn't. The cold feeling in her chest wasn't going to be anything compared to the endless sorrow that came with attending Merlin's funeral march. Besides, if there was actually somebody worth damaging herself for…it would be Merlin.
She had already gone down there once and emerged.
She'd returned again and somehow came back.
The third time was said to be the charm…she could come back again.
"No." Gwen spoke up. Leon and Gaius had been quietly talking over the finer details of their plan, but they both went silent so they could look at her. Gwen kept her eyes on Merlin, allowing herself this moment of peace as something inside of her arms started to settle. This might be the last minute of peace she'd get for the next few hours, she should hold onto it for as long as she could. "Getting a knight is fine and all, but it's going to invoke too many questions. There are certain channels people have to go through, right? And Derrick would need to bring a parchment with him, with Uther's crest on the page, just so he can get inside. Getting into the dungeons will be hard enough as it is, but also breaking into the king's study to steal his wax stamp? It's only going to waste more time with us doing all of those unnecessary steps. We should just use me…I can get in the room with no questions asked. Nobody questions what the servant is doing…not as long as she's working. I can find out if Arthur has it or not, and be back within the hour."
Gwen's voice sounded numb to her own ears…it hadn't been all that long since the last time she had gone down inside the chambers. She hadn't fully recovered from it either, the mental anguish alone was more stressful than the physical symptoms of just being near that place caused her. But she was relieved when Gaius and Leon-sharing a soft frown-didn't outright tell her not to go. She would probably crumble and say thank you, if they told her not to do it. She would end up embracing her cowardliness, sinking into the nice warm shell she wanted to wrap herself in because she knew nothing would hurt her as long as she was inside of it. But Merlin would pay the ultimate price for that…
"…Are you sure you want to go through with that Gwen? There is still Derrick we can use, even if it does take us a bit longer to get results. Don't you remember what happens whenever you come out of there?" Gaius asked her, and Gwen tried to make herself smaller, sinking into herself just a little bit more with a simple question. She couldn't 'not' remember what happened to her…losing her voice. Trying to take control of her situation by refusing to talk…it was no different than when Merlin tried controlling his situation by refusing to eat. But if Gwen would ever get over her trauma…she couldn't spend the rest of her life running from the dungeons. If she couldn't go down there for Merlin, right now…then what would get her to go back into that pit? "It's extremely dangerous. A knight might be able to talk himself out of trouble if he gets caught. Might even have a chance to pull rank or collect a favor if he's caught by the right one. It's a small chance, but it's a chance at least. However, if a servant is caught…you might end up locked in the cell next to Arthur's."
Gaius actually made very good points, she would never get her chance to talk herself out of this if the knight l discovered one fraction of what she was doing down there. A servant was only an expendable piece of meat that could be lost and gained in a drop of a hat. It was more than dangerous, it could possibly be suicidal. But despite her fear of the dungeons, Gwen was also confident of her ability to do this. Gaius and Leon didn't know all the intricacies servants had to pick up on until it became a second nature to them. They didn't understand how servants could virtually make themselves invisible in front of the people that saw them as 'lesser'. People like her really were one of the most unseen in Camelot, and yet…people like her knew all the deepest secrets a noble wouldn't want getting out. Could find out which nobles was blackmailing who, or which noble was in the midst of subterfuge, or could find out anything by listening whenever their masters spoke. A simple task, since the nobles usually talked without realizing a servant also had ears…
Just because a servant didn't talk to a strict master when they were working, didn't mean they didn't know everything that is going on.
Just because a servant doesn't protest or try getting involved in whatever their master is involved in, didn't mean they didn't know more than they let on. Hiding behind glassy eyes and/or fake smiles and polite bows and quiet mutters of 'yes master, I understand master.'
Gwen herself had never thought she would need to use being a servant like a shield. But there were a lot of things that were happening this week that she had never thought she would do or be apart of. What was one more? The knight guarding the cells, after all, would be just like any other noble who saw any number of serving girls roaming the castle.
He wouldn't see her coming until she was already gone.
"Even if I do end up being placed in the cell next to his, at least I'll know whether or not he's brought the flower with him." Said the woman straightening her shoulders and trying to look more braver than she was actually feeling. Resolution was brimming in her eye as she lifted them just high enough to meet the eyes of Gaius. There was not a word the other man could've said to her to make her change her mind. This was the fastest route to take, the final hour drawing to a close, and time seemed as if it was the upmost important thing in the world. They didn't have the luxury of arguing or going through with the other plan…not if they actually wanted Merlin to live. "I'm not worried for what I will go through. I'm not. I can do this, Gaius. I can actually do this and….its because of Merlin. He's stronger than I'll ever be in my entire life. But he shouldn't have to be strong all the time or on his own. Let me do this for him, and I'll show you I'm able to help him."
Gaius still didn't look altogether convinced, but he wasn't the one Gwen was doing this for. And maybe she didn't have one thing to prove to anybody else, no reason to stick her neck out other than what Merlin had done for her in the past but the girl also found that it didn't matter. Because-as her gaze drifted to Merlin's face-she knew she had everything to prove to herself. Prove she wasn't a coward. Prove she could be something far more than just a simple servant, if given the chance. To prove she was worthy enough to be friends with and stand beside a man who was far greater than she had ever been. Merlin took in a breath, hitched and got cut off too suddenly because his lungs weren't working properly. The one sign of movement out of him in over an hour…this seemed to spurn Gaius into action, and he nodded his agreement.
"Be careful."
Were the parting words Gaius gave her. And Gwen nodded her head without a word, turning on her heel and leaving from the chambers as fast as she could without knowing back. She had a plan already in mind for how she could get into the dungeons without too many questions. She just hoped when she walked out of there, she would have a flower cupped within the safety of her fist. But each step she took further into the castle, a bit more of her stubbornness reared its ugly head. This quiet and slumbering lion buried somewhere in her chest, just waiting for the right moment to roar. This steely eyed look appeared in the depths of her eyes.
…Merlin had once saved her life.
Now…it was her turn to save him.
X
The path Gwen walked in the dungeons were different than the path she had gone to before. She'd been instructed to go even further down the hallway, going straight instead of turning into the first hallway, by Knight Derrick when she'd shown up in the hall housing all of Mercia. It was far darker down here, and the thin sleeves of her peasant dress did nothing to protect her as frost grew on her limbs. Or maybe it's just her imagination that was trying to work against her, encouraging her to turn tail and run before she also got sucked into the void. But she didn't try and stop-not even when she started to question whether she's going the right way or not, as the tunnels started to grow even darker-and kept going. Her fingers felt as if they had went and got frozen around the small plate she held in between her slim fingers. She would probably need to pry them off just to let go of the plate. But she still kept going, even when she started to feel as if she was having an out of body experience. Just going through the motions…
The fog somewhat lifted when she reached a large door at the end of the hall. Probably the first door she had came across in her journey deeper into the pits of hell. This, Gwen thought as she stared at it, had to be it. There was no other place anyone could've been hidden…she hadn't even known this place sat in the depths of the dungeons to begin with. Very rarely would a person ever venture further than that first hallway of dungeon cells set aside….but there was nothing to do about that. Gwen lifted up her fist-her fingers coming off the plate easier than it should've been-and knocked loudly on the door after realizing it didn't have a standard door handle. Just this big opening in the middle made out of metal, something somebody needed a hook or some other type of tool just to pry open. Probably just another caution to make sure nobody got into this room in the misguided attempt to release the prisoner.
A breath forced itself from Gwen's lungs as the door swung open, forcing her to step back before it could slam her in the face. And then the guard-Bryon-was staring down at her with an impassive look on his face. Clearly unimpressed and about to send her away. Gwen breathed again, before lifting up what was on the plate in her hands, "Please." She said, more calmly than she felt. She kept her head down, hoping he wouldn't be able to recognize her as Morgana's servant. That was the only flaw to her plan, somebody knowing she wasn't meant to deal with food unless she was bringing it to Morgana. That alone is suspicious enough. "I've brought food for the prisoner."
There was a moment where Gwen-her heart racing frantically in her chest-just knew she was about to be sent away when Sir Bryon simply stared down at the plate. She couldn't blame him for being cautious either, the food wasn't anything impressive to behold. There were only four small rolls of bread that she'd squished into the middle of the plate to form one much larger square. It wasn't the kind of meal a prisoner would get, since it was only one loaf of bread and a cup of water that'd be seen as a standard meal. Maybe a bowl of mush if one was lucky or on special occasions. But Arthur-being this high profile figure and not really under arrest so much as just being grounded in the most extreme way possible-should have gotten something more appealing and up to his standards. But this was the meal she had been able to sneak from the kitchens with such short notice. It wasn't as if she could just tell the matron working in the kitchens that she needed it for Arthur. By now, people had known Arthur had been taken somewhere…she would've sent one of her actual kitchen girls to walk the plate of food.
A kitchen girl that wouldn't have been able to understand the mission. A kitchen girl probably would have betrayed them and rushed straight to Uther the second they tried convincing her to commit treason. And unless it was that kitchen girl, Mary, it was very doubtful any other would have been willing to slap a hand into their mess. But luckily, another serving girl was not going to be necessary, as the guard grumbled something she couldn't make out under his breath and then stepped aside to allow her admittance into the creepiest place in the entirety of the kingdom. But Gwen forced herself to keep breathing, while trying to look as inconspicuously as she could. She was pretty sure she looked weird, trying so hard to be normal as she eyed the guard cautiously, and then she was inside.
Gwen nearly flinched when the old wooden door was slammed shut behind her. Her body trembled with the fear and the plate nearly dropped from her hands when the guard brushed along her arm. She had been sure he had seen straight through all of her lies and was about to shove her into the cell just as Gaius'd warned her against. But he wasn't going for her at all. The man was simply walking past her so that he could take off the large metal key ring attached to his belt to unlock the sole cell in the room with. The guard tugged open the door and it creaked too ominously for her taste, stepping aside to allow her to walk on her own. Gwen still eyed him with trepidation, half positive this was only a trick and he was about to slam the door closed long before she could try to run for it. Because-even being a simple invisible servant-it couldn't have seriously been as easy as she found it to get inside.
…No wonder that girl had managed to sneak poison into their cups, if this was how little the guards actually watched those working.
And then Gwen was inside the cell which was quite possibly, a bit smaller than her own had been. She hadn't thought it would be possible to feel more claustrophobic as if the walls planned to close in on her where she stood. But Gwen swallowed down past the lump in her throat, and focused on the sole man in the room…Arthur Pendragon. The prince was sitting on the far wall of the cell, right underneath where the window would've gone if they weren't so deep underground. But Gwen tightened her hands on the plate as Arthur's eyes met hers…so hard and so cold. No recognition in his eyes when he stared at her. As if he hadn't known her for the past seven or so years she'd been in Morgana's service.
"Set it down over there." The prince ordered her, nodding his head to the ground in front of her without getting up. His voice was just as cold as his eyes were, making the room drop below several degrees. And Gwen trembled harder…she was so stuck in horror…Arthur sounded just like he had when he ordered her arrest all those weeks ago. As if she was a stranger, somebody he had no ties too. It honestly took Gwen a second for it to hit her-like being smacked in the face-that Arthur meant the plate in her hands. "I'll eat it in just a moment."
Gwen hesitated, wondering if she should ask Arthur about the flower…did he have it on him? Had he brought it to Camelot, or had he not reached the mountains at all and came back having nothing to show for his adventure. Had something else she did not know about happened….Arthur wasn't exactly behaving as he had done at the gates when he had been fighting against all the guards. So passionate and full of life and anger…but Arthur was acting just like he usually did. Dismissive and impassive to the servants. It threw her off, but…Gwen glanced back towards the guard standing at the gate but virtually ignoring them.
So, Gwen did what she was told. She carefully knelt down onto the ground, her skirts tucking up underneath her. And put the plate on the floor in front of her feet. She tried eyeing Arthur to get some sort of read on what was going on in his head. It was impossible for her to outright ask when the knight stood close by, but Arthur wouldn't meet her eyes. He simply tapped a few fingers against the top of his knee, as if he had grown bored of her presence. Gwen could feel her heart stuttering in her chest as she slowly tossed to her feet. And still, Arthur didn't speak a single word to her.
Gwen took an awkward step back, hovering and unsure rather or not she should cut her losses and leave while she still had a chance. She walked back to the doors, hands wringing back in the folds of her skirts, with no more answers than she arrived with. It was as Gwen was taking a step out the cell did Arthur finally move. The prince rose onto his feet, looking blank faced and bored, casually strolling towards his plate of food as if he had all the time in the world to waste, "Thank you." He said as he bent down to grab the plate.
Gwen could feel herself freezing where she stood, looking at the prince as if she had never seen him before in her life. She had never-in all her years of working in the castle-heard Arthur telling a servant 'thank you.' The amazement coursing through her ranked right up there with apologizing to her for having her locked up in the cells before he left. Had he said that to her on purpose? Was it some kind of sign or message he was handing to her, one she couldn't decipher? Or maybe she was thinking too hard about it, and Arthur had said it without thinking. But it was still so odd…Gwen couldn't help but feel as if she'd ended up missing something in his delivery.
But then Arthur was turning his back to her, taking his plate to the wall with him where he had sat. And Gwen supposed it was as much of a dismissal as anything else would be. Gwen took a step out of the cell, her head blowing as her shoulders started to slump forward. She really had been thinking too hard about it all…Arthur hadn't done anything for Merlin. For all she knew, he might've spent these last few days just to take some kind of vacation away from the people demanding he care about other people for once.
"Wait a minute."
Gwen froze, her heart stalling in her chest, when Arthur's strict voice reached her. The guard was eyeing her again and the girl clenched her fingers together before slowly turning back and facing Arthur. The prince wasn't looking at her again, making her feel insignificant, nothing more than a flea that was way far beneath his notice. He was looking down at his place, with his nose scrunched up in disgust. As if somebody had taken mud and smeared it across the plate and expected him to still place the pieces in his mouth and eat it. And then Arthur was coming to her, Gwen barely caught the plate he shoved into her chest before it could fall and shatter across the ground in thousands of pieces.
"I couldn't possibly eat one bite of this. It has to be the most disgusting thing I have ever seen in my life. I would rather eat nothing than put this in my mouth. I cannot possible waste my time trying to think what was going on in your mind when you got this prepared for me." Spoke the prince, blue eyes starting to drill into her skull. A look that would have shaken her, Gwen felt something stirring in her chest though. Something she was not used to feeling…angry. She was angry, red brimming under the rim of her eyes. Merlin was dying. He was dying and could do nothing and would never see tomorrow…Arthur was meant to be his savior. And yet…the prince was complaining what the food was like? As if he got his options of fine dining as long as he was in the dungeons. "In fact…I don't think such a meal will even be considered fit for human consumption, I may suggest even throwing it out to feed the birds. They might get far more use out of it than I will."
Feed the birds…this phrase thundered against her skull wildly, sounding so out of place that it stuck out to her. And the other man was already walking away from her, settling back down in his seat without another word. Going back to the casual tap on his knee, and Gwen finally understood what had been nagging at her about the phrase when she looked down at the plate. A torn up little flower was resting between the loaf's of bread, as it tried masquerading as nothing more than a simple garnish to dress the plate up. Something usually done with food given off to the nobles…
Feed the birds, he had said…
Merlin was a type of bird…
Gwen bowed her head down further like she was trying to hold back disgraceful tears, but her wild curls shielded the growing smile threatening to overtake her. She held the plate closer to her chest as if somebody was going to try snatching it out her hands…of course. Of course Arthur couldn't just given her the flower. The guard at the door would never allow some mystery item be transported in or out of the cells without his knowing…it made sense now. For Arthur to have came up with this whole ruse in order to get the flower in her possession so she could be the one to deliver it onto Merlin.
God, Gwen thought as she exited the cell completely so Knight Bryon could lock it back behind her, she could have bloody try to kiss Arthur in that moment. He had been so convincing and real in his dismissal of her that even she had fallen for it. There was no way, she thought as she made her way out of the much larger door being pulled open so she could leave, that the man guarding Arthur would figure it out. And Gwen walked out into the hallway, feeling the freezing cold air filling up her lungs as she breathed for what felt like the first time. She wanted to do nothing more than to turn back and look at Arthur, so she'd be able to mouth her own thank you to him, but she didn't dare, in case Knight Bryon grew suspicious.
"WAIT!"
The air suddenly escaped Gwen's lungs as a heavy hand fell on her shoulder, practically spinning her around with enough force to knock her off her feet. And the color drained from her cheeks as she stared up at Knight Bryon looming over her, half cast in shadows and looking like quite the imposing figure. She started to tremble…this was it. Knight Bryon had realized what they were doing and had given chase to arrest her. She'd be in a cell…she'd failed Merlin…she was absolutely nothing without finishing her mission proper.
But Gwen could do absolutely nothing, as Knight Bryon's eyes landed on the little flower tucked away in between the bread.
