Chapter 1

She walked back into the penthouse to find Ned asleep on the sofa with Kristin. She didn't think her meeting was going to take as long as it had and she wasn't quite ready for yet another fight with her husband about her late hours. She walked over to them and sat on the coffee table watching them sleep. She brushed some hair out of her little girls face. She awoke at the touch and smiled at the sight of her mother. "Mommy! You're home!" Kristin said excitedly as she reached for her mother and woke up her father in the process.

"I am. What are you still doing up?" She asked, taking Kristin into her arms, making eye contact with Ned and mouthed an "I'm sorry" for working so late again.

"You said you would read to me tonight and daddy said I could wait for you." She said innocently.

"That's right I did. I'm sorry I kept you waiting."

"If I had known how late…" Ned started to say annoyed.

"Please don't start." She stated matter of factly as she interrupted. He sighed and made the choice to wait until their daughter was in bed. She then turned to Kristin, "Let's get you to bed." It didn't take long for Kristin to fall back to sleep and Alexis headed back downstairs to face the inevitable conversation about how late she had come home. She found him sitting on the sofa and she sat back down on the coffee table in front of him. "I'm sorry I lost track of time."

"That's not an excuse. Do you realize what time it is? We should all be in bed."

"I know and I'm sorry. I had to finish going over those depositions before court tomorrow. This trial is moving faster than I had anticipated."

"You should have been reading our little girl a bedtime story. I tried to do it, but she wanted her mommy." He replied, smiling slightly.

"I was only across the hall, Ned. You could have come over to get me."

"I shouldn't have to come and remind you to come home Alexis."

"I don't know what you want me to say. Of course I would have rather been here with you and Kristin, but I was working. "

"Are you sure about that Alexis?"

"What are you trying to say?"

"You know exactly what I'm saying." He said pointedly. "Maybe you and Sonny have more than an attorney/client relationship."

"I can't believe what you're implying!" She said reaching her limit with the conversation as she stood up and headed for the stairs.

"Believe it!" He yelled as she glared at him and walked up the stairs. "I don't hear you denying it Alexis!" He instantly regretted his accusation despite feeling that he wasn't entirely off base. He had let emotions get the better of him and it wasn't going to help the tension that had been building between them for the past few months.

"That's because an accusation like that doesn't deserve a reply." She said coldly as she turned the corner and headed into their bedroom. She knew his instincts weren't completely off track. Sonny had made advances towards her and they had even kissed once about two months ago. He had just left Carly and she had just found out Ned had extended a tour. She continued to try and push past the incident, but Sonny seemed to keep trying to make more of it.

She walked into their bathroom and got ready for bed. She was startled when Ned walked up behind her and wrapped his arms around her waist. To his surprise she didn't fight him, but rather leaned back against him. "I'm sorry." He whispered as he kissed the top of her head. "I never should have.."

She turned around and interrupted, not wanting to rehash the events from just a few moments ago. "I don't know what's going on between us anymore, Ned." She wrapped her arms around him and looked into his eyes, searching for answers.

"Where did we go wrong?" He asked, not sure of the answers himself.

"I wish I knew." She stated honestly.

He broke their embrace and took her hands. "I love you, Alexis, and our life together means everything to me, but things have got to change."

"I love you too Ned, so much sometimes I swear it hurts."

He cupped her face with his hands and wiped a stray tear from her cheek. She leaned in, her lips met his and things started to escalate quickly. They both knew that sex wasn't going to solve their problems and that the conversation they had started was going to be revisited, but they fell back into their pattern both needing to show the other how much they loved the other.

She couldn't sleep, his words from earlier haunting her thoughts. She had just spent the last two hours making love to her husband and all she could think about was how she had hurt him. His words from earlier that night played over again in her mind. She looked over and watched him sleep. She sighed and got out of bed, tying her robe around her and headed downstairs. She knew if her marriage had even a shot of surviving she had to tell him the truth. Keeping this from him was only causing more suspicion and tension between them.

He turned over and reached for her only to find her side of the bed empty. The sheets were still warm; she couldn't have been up for long. He walked downstairs and saw her looking out the window. "Honey, come back to bed." He said quietly, trying not to startle her.

"I didn't mean to wake you." She replied walking towards him. He took her hand and led her towards the sofa.

"What's going on?"

"I couldn't sleep. Just a lot on my mind."

"Do you want to talk about it?"

"I know I need to tell you Ned. It's just that the last thing I want to do is hurt you, which is why I haven't said anything at all."

"Honey, what are you talking about?" He was perplexed and concerned about what she could be keeping from him. But, yet, deep down he could sense there was something going on for months. There had been a shift, increased tension, and they both had felt it.

"The truth. I should have told you this when it happened and I know keeping it from you only made it worse, but the tension between us was starting to build and I didn't want to create anymore. I didn't think this through because keeping this a secret…"

"Alexis, what's going on?" He said anxiously, interrupting.

"What you said tonight about Sonny, isn't exactly false."

"I knew it! I knew there was something going on between the two of you!" He said letting anger get the best of him as he stood up and walked away.

"Ned, wait it's not what you think." She stated calmly as she followed him across the room.

"If you're not sleeping with him then what Alexis?" He said coldly.

"I'm not sleeping with Sonny." She said letting her voice rise. "Please just let me finish." He just stared at her and waited for her to continue. She reached for his hand, but he backed away. "One night… about two months ago—"She hesitated. She knew the time that had passed was going to hurt him. She also knew that it would cause more suspicion about her relationship with Sonny.

"Two months! You've kept this a secret for the last two months!" He said raising his voice. "I wanted to believe I was wrong about the feeling I had. I kept telling myself it was all in my head. Well I've certainly learned my lesson Alexis."

"Ned, please…" She pleaded. "Let me explain."

"When?" He demanded. "When was this Alexis?"

"You were away on business for L&B in Los Angeles and I was here working on some contracts with Sonny. We were working late and then the conversation turned personal. He had just ended things with Carly for the thousandth time and he kissed me. I pushed him away. I told him I love you, that I don't return his feelings. It was just a stupid kiss; it meant nothing. I didn't tell you because I didn't want to hurt you, but tonight…"

"What? What happened tonight?! How could you do this to us Alexis? My god, I knew there was distance between us, but.."

"Nothing happened tonight. Nothing. It's just-what you said…., I couldn't—

"Couldn't what? Keep lying to me? Keep pretending that this marriage means anything to you?"

"This marriage is why I knew I finally had to tell you the truth! You have to believe me when I tell you that it didn't mean anything. I love you. " She reached for him again, but he pulled away, turning his back.

"You keep saying that Alexis, but you kept it from me so it must have meant something." He paused and turned around to face her. "Has it happened again? Is he still pursuing you?"

"I won't let it happen again. It was one night. One kiss. One. He was upset about Carly's latest scheme and I had just found out you weren't coming home for another week. We had a drink. And I know it's not an excuse…"

"Damn right it's not an excuse. What do you mean you won't let it happen again? Is he still pursuing you, Alexis?"

"Did he try to kiss me again? Yes, but I stopped it. It's never going to happen again. I love you. Not him. You." She moved closer to him and he made eye contact with her for the first time since she said she needed to tell him about Sonny. Her eyes pleaded with him for forgiveness, but he wasn't quite ready to forget the cards he had been dealt.

"I don't know what you want me to say Alexis. I wish I could say I was surprised, but something about the way he looks at you, the late night meetings and phone calls. On some level I think I already knew or I wouldn't have made that comment tonight." He was starting to calm down. He could sense she was trying to do the right thing, be honest, take steps to fix their relationship. She was opening up and letting him in again. Something she hadn't done in a long time.

She brought her hand to his cheek. "I could never be more sorry than I am right now. I meant what I said earlier tonight, I don't want to lose you."

"I believe that Alexis, I do. I just need some time to think." He turned away and walked towards the doors leading to the balcony. He stood there staring out the window.

She stood there motionless, watching him. "Ned…" she whispered, staying where she was, wanting to give him the space she knew he needed, but also afraid that she may have just destroyed any trust that existed between them. He looked towards her. "I know you need time. And I want to give you that, but please just say you'll be here in the morning."

She sounded desperate; vulnerable it took him by surprise that she had let her guard down that much. He sighed, running his hands through his hair. "Go to bed, we'll talk more tomorrow."

She nodded and he turned back to the window as she slowly walked up the stairs.