"Last time on Total Drama Island…" Chris begun the recap. Both teams set out on a canoe trip to deadly Boney Island. Cody hit on Gwen about eighty times, but he made up for it by setting her up with the guy she actually wanted to hang with, Trent. Good strategy, bro. There were winners. And there were losers. Also known as, The Gophers. The last marshmallow was set to go to either Izzy or Lindsay, but the RCMP swooped in and bam! Izzy hightailed it outta there! Man, I knew the girl was nuts, but I didn't know she was totally insane! What will happen now? Who will go next? And can my teeth possibly get any whiter? Find out here on Total. Drama. Island!" Chris ended the recap.
(Theme song)
Cut to the cabins. Chris came with a plane to wake the contestants up. "Oh! Hit the deck! They're coming, man! They found us!" Duncan said in the Bass cabin and jumped under his bed.
"Huh! Ooh! Ugh! Okay, that dude is really starting to get on my last nerve!" Leshawna said as she hit her head on the bed above her in the girls cabin.
"Whatever. He just loves ruining our mornings. Lindsay, go warm up the shower for me. Now! And remember…" Heather told Lindsay but was interrupted by her.
"Not too hot this time, I know." Lindsay yawned.
Cut to a line in the girls bathroom. " What's the holdup?" Bridgette asked, confused as to why the line didn't move at all.
"Heather needs her private time." Lindsay replied.
"How long's queenie gonna be in there? I got urgent business!" Leshawna asked.
"She could still be a while." Lindsay replied.
"Ugh! That's it. I'm going lumberjack style." Gwen said and went away.
"I hope you're ready for the most challenging challenge yet. Breakfast in three minutes at the campfire pit." Chris announced through the loudspeakers.
"Um, Heather?" Lindsay knocked on the door.
"Can one of you come in here and lotion my back? It's peeling!" Heather said. Everyone aside from Lindsay immediately went away when they heard that. Lindsay sighed and went in.
Confessional: Heather
"So, I just went from three to one alliance member in a few challenges, great. People probably didn't like me hogging the bathroom either, I need to cause conflict with Owen and Noah or Gwen's diary." Heather said.
"Are you ready for today's extreme max impact challenge?!" Chris asked the campers.
"We are ready!" Owen replied and laughed.
"Incoming! This... is breakfast." Chris said as Chef threw everyone some bean cans.
"No, breakfast is crepes, croissants, even Chef's crappy burnt eggs." Heather replied as she caught a bean can.
"I'll ignore that." Chef replied.
"Beans beans, they're good for your heart, the more you eat, the more you–" Owen sang but was hit by a random bean can that came out of nowhere.
"Today's challenge is about survival. We're going hunting." Chris told them and pulled out a paintball gun.
"That's more like it." Duncan said.
"Isn't that a paintball gun?" Harold asked.
"Why yes Harold. It is." Chris replied and shot Harold in the chest.
"So we won't be killing anything?" Bridgette asked.
"Negatory. This is the first ever paintball deer hunt. I'll announce the team's once we get into the woods. So... finish breaky." Chris replied.
"Ahhh... Got any more?" Owen asked.
"I don't think there are enough beans for you in the world, big guy." Noah replied.
"And now for the team breakdowns. The Killer Bass hunters are... Harold, Geoff, and Bridgette. Locked and loaded with bass blue paint. And using orange paint are the Gopher hunters, Leshawna, Noah, Owen, Lindsay." Chris said as Chef gave them all paintball guns.
"Whahoo! This is awesome, man!" Owen cheered and hugged Noah, squeezing him to death.
"Can't breathe…" Noah gasped for air.
"You also get these stylin' glasses and wicked camo caps! The rest of you are now deer. Here are your antlers, noses, and little white tails." Chris said as Chef tossed them all their items.
"Yeah right. I am not wearing that." Heather said, talking about the deer hat.
"There is no way I'm a deer." Duncan said.
"Take these off and your team is toast, boy." Chef said as he made Duncan wear the hat, nose and the tail. Owen chuckled after seeing Duncan.
"What are you lookin' at?" Duncan asked.
"Oh, nothing. Bambi." Owen mocked and pulled his tail and let it go, spanking his butt.
"You'd better be a good shot, tubby." Duncan threatened in response.
Cut to the Bass deer in the woods. "At least we get a headstart." Courtney said.
"I don't know about y'all. But I'm outta here." DJ said and ran away on four legs like a deer, surprising everyone.
"Uh, alright, so the rest of us should stick together so-" Courtney tried to say but was interrupted.
"Yeah, I'm not gonna let you two drag me down. See ya." Duncan said and left.
"Ugh! He is such a neanderthal." Courtney complained.
"So it's just the two of us?" Tyler asked.
"Neverming, I think going alone is better at this point." Courtney said and left Tyler alone.
Confessional: Courtney
"Ugh, why is my team so useless? I mean, DJ, Bridgette and I guess Geoff are fine but Duncan's a total psycho, Harold is disgusting and Tyler probably can't walk 20 steps without tripping." Courtney complained.
Cut to the Gopher deer in the woods. "This may be the lamest thing I've ever done in my life." Gwen said.
"Aw, c'mon. It could be fun." Cody told the other three but they responded by glaring at him. "Okay, catch you later." he said and ran away.
Confessional: Cody
"I was so psyched to be a deer. I'm small, but I'm quick. Lots of practice from dodging spitballs in math class." Cody said, but he was in a full body cast and a wheelchair.
"Are you coming?" Gwen asked Heather who sat on a stump filing her nails.
"No. I'm going to wait for Lindsay and make her protect me for the whole game." Heather replied.
"Wouldn't that be against the rules?" Gwen asked.
"Do you see a rules person anywhere? Worry about your own fluffy tails." Heather replied.
"Whatever you say." Gwen replied and left.
Cut to the Bass hunters in the campfire. "And break!" Harold said he and Geoff high-fived.
"I don't know guys, I just don't like using guns of any kind." Bridgette said.
"Okay. You do realize that this is all just pretend, right? And that it's just paint? So say, if you... like, hit Heather…" Harold replied.
"Wait. Heather's a deer? Hohoho…" Bridgette chuckled as the three went in the woods
"Let's do this!" Geoff cheered.
Confessional: Harold
"I think I did a pretty good job of showing my paintball skills, all those shooter games I played really came in handy. After this, maybe I'll even be the leader of the team instead of Courtney!" Harold said.
Cut to the Gopher hunters in the woods. "Start your paintballs! Game on!" Chris announced from the loudspeakers.
"All right! Let's go bag some deer!" Lindsay cheered.
"Aha! I am down with that!" Leshawna replied.
"Whatever." Noah said "What are you doing?" Noah asked Owen who was spilling a greenish yellow liquid on himself.
"Masking my scent so the deer don't smell me coming." Owen replied.
"Tell me that isn't…" Leshawna said but was interrupted.
"Pee? Yes. Yes it is!" Owen said proudly.
"Ew!" Lindsay blurted out.
"I've got some more if you need some." Owen said and pulled out a jar.
"We're hunting other campers. You don't have to hide your scent. Are you stupid?" Noah said.
"You mean, I collected all this pee for nothing?" Owen said and threw the pee jar away as Lindsay and Noah ran away screaming.
"Dude. You are one sick ticket." Leshawna angrily said and stormed off.
Confessional: Noah
"Pee? Seriously? Owen has problems." Noah said.
Cut to Lindsay walking in the woods, tired. "Aw, man. I'm back to where I started and I haven't seen one deer." Lindsay complained and suddenly ran into Heather on her stump.
"Ahem. What took you so long?" Heather asked.
"Was I supposed to come find you?" Lindsay replied.
"Hello? Alliance, anyone?" Heather rolled her eyes.
"Ooh, ooh, me! Can I be in one?" Lindsay asked.
"You already are, Lindsay. That's the point! Now, here's the plan. We will go find Bass deer together so I can distract them for you to shoot them, and if we run into some Bass hunters, you can protect me." Heather told Lindsay.
"Ooh, okay!" Lindsay said as the two got going.
Confessional: Lindsay
"Heather is such a good leader, she always comes up with good plans! Although, I don't really understand them? Maybe it's because she's smarter than me?" Lindsay said, confused.
"The hunter is a finely tuned machine. His senses heightened by the thrill of the chase." Owen said to himself as he walked in the forest when he suddenly noticed DJ and went into a bush. "Suddenly, our hunter spots a magnificent buck in the clearing. If he's to succeed, the hunter must demonstrate patience and control." he said from the bush but suddenly farted, alerting DJ, who was eating grass while pretending to be a deer, to his presence.
"Hmmph!" DJ made deer noises and ran away.
Cut to the front of the mess hall where Cody was hiding under a table. "They'll never find me here! This was a genius idea!" Cody said to himself but suddenly his stomach growled. "Ugh, I'm so hungry, who's idea was it to just give us beans?" he said and looked at the mess hall. "Maybe I'll find something there…" he said to himself but suddenly Chef came out whistling and Cody accidentally made some noise, alerting him.
"Ghk." Chef grumbled as he looked around but couldn't find anyone and left. Cody went into the mess hall immediately after.
Cut to Owen in a bush, looking at DJ. "The hunter moves in, aware of every proton in his environment. Aw, crap!" Owen said but was suddenly attacked by a snake and revealed his position.
"Dhsf?" DJ made deer noises and ran away.
"Haha! It's on, DJ! Your butt's a hamburger and I'm one hot barbecue!" Owen yelled as he chased after him.
Cut to inside the mess hall where Cody was looking at the food in Chef's fridge. "Wow, they have all this and yet they still feed us garbage?" Cody said as he took some bags of chips and soda.
"Ahem." Chef suddenly said behind Cody with a paintball gun, alerting him to his presence.
"Uh, hey Chef buddy, how are you?" Cody awkwardly asked, holding some bags of chips.
"I'll give you 10 seconds, kid." Chef said and readied the gun.
"Alright, just chill!" Cody said and immediately ran away screaming but held onto one bag.
"Dumb kid." Chef mumbled as he put his paintball gun away.
Confessional: Cody
"Ok, maybe raiding the psycho Chef's fridge wasn't the best idea." Cody said, still in a body cast.
Cut to DJ running from Owen. "Fgdsfds!" DJ made some deer screaming noises.
"You're my burger now, DJ!" Owen said as he kept shooting paintballs but missed.
"Dasaad!" DJ made more deer noises as Owen crashed kiwi-first into a rock.
"Ow… the hunters kiwis are in immense pain!" Owen said as he laid on the ground, clutching his groin.
Cut to Heather and Lindsay searching in the woods. "Wait." Heather stopped Lindsay from walking and pulled her into a bush with her. "See jock boy over there? I'll distract him and when I snap my fingers, you shoot at him." she explained to Lindsay.
"But, I don't wanna shoot Tyler!" Lindsay replied.
"Ugh, this is why I said not to inter-team date! You get too attached and now you're gonna throw challenges for him?" Heather angrily replied.
"But.. Alright, I'll do it." Lindsay replied.
"Good." Heather said and went out the bushes and approached Tyler.
"Oh hey, Heather what's up?" Tyler asked.
"Oh, nothing, just thinking about who will get voted out when your team loses. I think it's gonna be you." Heather replied.
"Huh, what makes you so sure?" Tyler replied.
"This." Heather said and snapped her fingers but nothing happened. She snapped them again but still nothing happened, confusing her and Tyler. "Lindsay! What are you waiting for? Shoot him!" she yelled.
"Lindsay? Wait, shoot? Ah snap!" Tyler said and immediately ran away.
"Ugh! Great." Heather turned to look at Lindsay in the bushes but saw Harold, Bridgette and Geoff in another bush and they immediately shot her.
"Ugh! I am drenched in paint!" Heather complained and left.
"Woohoo!" Geoff cheered as Bridgette and Harold high-fived and the three left.
"Uh, Heather? Are you too mad?" Lindsay asked from the bushes after they left, not noticing Heather left as well.
Confessional: Heather
"Next time, remind me that when you want things done, you do it by yourself. Lindsiot is completely worthless, I wouldn't even keep her as an ally if she wasn't an extra vote I could rely on." Heather complained.
Cut to Cody in the woods, eating the chips he got. "Mm. barbecue, heh. Mm, the king of chip flavors. Heh. Mm. Mm." Cody said as he ate the pack and left a trail of chips that he didn't notice.
Cut to DJ and Owen again. "Dgds!" DJ made deer noises as he dodged the paintballs.
"The... hunter's courage... and desire... will not… stop!" Owen panted as he cornered DJ on a cliff. "You're mine now, deer." Owen said as he tried to shoot his gun but noticed he had no ammo left.
"Grrr." DJ made deer growling noises as he approached Owen.
"Huh? Um, the hunter knows that his prey will stay there for a moment, paralyzed in... uh, fear? And respect? The deer cannot best the hunter. Hey, dude. C'mon now. Let's talk about this." Owen chucked. DJ responded by throwing him off the cliff into the water.
"Prrhmp!" DJ said as he got on four legs again and kicked sand off the cliff and ran away.
Cut to Bridgette, Harold and Geoff shooting Gwen and Trent in bushes.
"Nice! Now only Cody is left." Harold said to the other two.
"No way we lose now!" Geoff replied.
Cut to Lindsay walking in the woods. "Heather? Heather I'm sorry where are you?" Lindsay called out for Heather but received no response.
"Psst!" Cody whispered and popped out from the bush.
"Connor? What are you doing here?" Lindsay asked.
"It's Cody but whatever, I risked my life to steal a bag of chips and now I'm just trying to not get shot. How goes it?" Cody asked.
"Not that good." Lindsay replied.
"What happened? Have you bagged any deer yet?" Cody asked.
"Well, me and Heather found Tyler and she told me to shoot him but I didn't, and now I can't find her!" Lindsay replied.
"Oh, well in that case sorry but if we lose you might be voted out. Well, good luck!" Cody said and left.
"Wait, what do you mean risked my life to steal a bag of chips?" Lindsay randomly asked when Cody left.
Confessional: Lindsay
"This is bad! If I cost the challenge then I'm out of the alliance and I get voted out like Bertha and Issabella! I can't let that happen!" Lindsay said.
Cut to Owen getting out of the water. "You can leave the hunter with less ammo than he thought he had. You can throw him over a cliff. You can even leave him with a case of toe crabs. But you cannot break his spirit!" Owen screamed and noticed Duncan. "Fresh meat." he said, going into a bush.
Cut to Leshawna in the woods. "Two hours of sneakin' around in the woods and I haven't shot a darn thing. What kind of messed up person actually does this for fun?" Leshawna complained as she saw deer antlers from behind a bush. She tried to see who it was but couldn't since her orange glasses blurred her vision. She shot the person anyway, it was Heather.
"Ow! Who was that?" Heather said.
"Oh! I knew I should've gone to the optometrist before I came out here! Ha, sorry about that!" Leshawna apologized.
"Ugh! Why can't anyone be competent today? Are you blind?" Heather angrily replied.
"Yeesh, chill, things haven't been fun for me either!" Leshawna replied.
"There you are Heather!" Lindsay said as she saw Heather and Leshawna.
"Where are you? Thanks to you not shooting that idiot we could have lost the challenge unless fatty ginormous and know it all somehow shot someone!" Heather angrily told her as Leshawna looked upset with her.
Cut to Duncan drinking water from the lake. "This is the shot of the day. With one paintball, hunter and prey's mutual destinies will be fulfilled." Owen said, hiding in a tree. However before he could shoot he farted and alerted Duncan to his presence.
"Beans. Owen!" Duncan smelled and looked at the tree to see Owen. "Nice try Farticus! You almost had me!" he said as he ran away and Owen fell off the tree.
Confessional: Owen
"This has not been a fun day for the hunter." Owen said, wet and covered in bruises.
Confessional: Cody
"I thought it was a cinch to win. I almost made it all the way through without being hit by a single paintball." Cody said, still in the body cast.
Cut to Cody in the woods. "Mmm, aww no chips left." Cody complained as he saw there were no chips left but suddenly saw a berry bush. "Mm, berries." he said as he picked berries and ate them. Suddenly a bear growled from behind him, scaring Cody. "Eyy, big fella. Want some berries?" he said as he offered the berries but the bear yelled again, blowing his clothes off.
Confessional: Bear
It opened the pack of chips to see what was in it but noticed it was empty and growled.
Cut to Duncan spray painting a tree in the woods. "Why do you smell worse than usual?" Courtney came and asked.
"It's Owen's stink. It's following me around like my juvenile record." Duncan replied.
"Well, I'm heading back. This stupid game must be almost over by now." Courtney replied and went left.
"You're going the wrong way." Duncan said.
"Excuse me? I was a CIT, remember? I have a natural sense of direction. Camp is this way." Courtney replied, pointing left.
"No. It's that way." Duncan replied, pointing right. The two glared at each other and went toward the ways they pointed but crashed into each other, getting their deer antlers tangled up.
"Very funny. Now let me go!" Courtney said, trying to unstick the antlers.
"Hey princess, this isn't my idea of fun either." Duncan replied.
"Great, Duncan." Courtney complained.
Confessional: Duncan
"Sure, we could've taken those lame-o antler hats off, but Miss Counselor-in-Training would probably go blab to Chris and have us disqualified. And hey, I kinda liked it." Duncan said.
Confessional: Courtney
"As a C.I.T. I am prepared for many things. Being tied to a criminal by deer antler hats wasn't one of them." Courtney said.
"Now what?!" Courtney angrily asked.
"You wanna make out?" Duncan asked.
Cut to Geoff,Bridgette and Harold. The three heard Heather yelling at Lindsay and saw Heather, Lindsay and Leshawna arguing. The three shot them. "Ow! Ow!" Heather, Leshawna and Lindsay said in pain.
"This is really fun!" Bridgette said while shooting.
"I know, right?" Harold agreed.
"Attention human wildlife and hunters! Please report back to camp! It's time to show your hides and tally up the scores!" Chris announced from the loudspeakers.
Cut to in front of the medical tent where Cody was in a body cast. "Tsk tsk tsk. Stealing from Chef. Eating chips in the woods. Being mauled by bears. Do you know what I see here? I see a very undisciplined group. I see a disgraceful mess. I see a massive waste of paint product." Chris criticized the Gophers who were all covered in paint or bruises except for Noah. "And I have to say... that was awesome! Haha! When you guys opened fire on your own team? Wicked TV, guys." Chris laughed.
"Hey. Where are Duncan and Courtney?" Harold asked. Tyler touched his shoulder and pointed toward Duncan and Courtney who just came and were still tangled with deer hats.
"Told you it was right." Duncan told Courtney.
"Shut up." Courtney replied.
"Oh, this is too much." Noah mocked.
"Duncan, you sly dog, you!" Owen chucked.
"The girl can't keep her antlers off me." Duncan replied. Courtney immediately kicked him in the kiwis for that. "Can't even bend over." Duncan whined in pain.
"Easy, Courtney. Our medical tent is really only equipped for one at a time and Cody's pretty messed up." Chris pointed at Cody in a body cast as Chef untangled their deer antlers. "Well, since five members of the Gophers are dripping in paint. And some of them aren't even deer. I think we have our winner!" he said as the Bass cheered. "You're off to a hunting camp shindig!" he told them as they cheered even more.
"Whoo!" Duncan and Geoff cheered as Duncan collapsed in pain.
"Gophers, I'll see you at the campfire ceremony. Again." Chris told the Gophers who looked upset.
"Aw, man, I thought for sure that we'd win!" Owen sighed.
"Well, you thought wrong." Noah said and left.
"Hey Owen, can I talk to you about something?" Heather asked Owen as the other Gophers left.
"Sure, Heather what's up?" Owen replied.
"Well, I know it's not my business to talk about this but I don't think Noah is being a good friend to you, he keeps insulting you and seeing your efforts as worthless." Heather said.
"But, Noah is my little buddy! Sure, he can be a bit insensitive sometimes but he's a good guy!" Owen replied.
"Well, if that's the case then what did he do in this challenge? He probably slept in the woods somewhere while you tried your best to win and yet he still keeps insulting you. Does he even see you as his friend? Whatever, forget I said this and think about it yourself." Heather said and left Owen to think by himself.
Confessional: Heather
"Might as well have something go right today. Things were getting too chummy here for my liking anyway." Heather said.
Confessional: Cody
Heheheh. Okay. I know I got mauled by a bear, but I'm feeling good about this. I'm a quick healer. And besides, I didn't get hit by a single paintball. Lindsay refused to shoot the opposing team, Leshawna shot her own team, Heather got shot twice and Noah didn't do anything in the challenge. They'll never kick me off.
Confessional: Leshawna
"Who will I vote for? Well, Heather's was kinda a pain today and Lindsay apparently refused to shoot that boy Tyler. But I gotta say... Cody."
Confessional: Owen
"Yeah, that Cody. Not gonna be so useful in challenges anymore."
Confessional: Lindsay
"Wait, am I going to be out of the alliance and be voted out now? I don't want that!" Lindsay said, worried.
Cut to the campfire ceremony. "I mean, seriously. Twice in a row? We have got to do better!" Heather told the other Gophers who all looked uninterested or tired.
"There are only seven marshmallows on this plate. When I call your name, come up and claim your marshmallow. The camper–" Chris began the ceremony but was interrupted.
"Who does not receive a marshmallow must immediately return to The Dock of Shame, catch the Boat of Losers and leave. Can't we just get this over with?" Gwen said, wanting to sleep.
"Fine. Whatever. Spoil the moment." Chris rolled his eyes.
"Dumb and Blonde, you refused to shoot a deer of the opposing team and just wandered around confused for the rest of the challenge!" Chef called out Lindsay who looked worried.
"Loud and Proud, despite wandering around the woods for hours the only deer that you shot was from your own team!" Chef called out Leshawna who looked annoyed.
"Bookworm, what were you even doing during this challenge? No one saw you at all." Chef called out Noah who had a neutral expression on his face.
Confessional: Noah
"I took a nap in the woods and didn't bother to shoot anyone. I'm not gonna say that though, don't want a massive target on my back." Noah explained.
"Goth Girl, Lover Boy and Grumpy Girl, all of you deers got shot, Grumpy Girl twice." Chef called out Gwen, Trent and Heather. Gwen and Trent looked tired while Heather looked upset.
"Finally, Scrawny Kid. You snuck into my kitchen, stole a bag of chips and ended up being mauled by a bear! That's what you get for taking my food!" Chef angrily called out Cody who couldn't speak since his bandages covered his mouth.
"Anyways Cody, you are officially too injured to continue so you are officially the first medical evacuation in TD history! Not sure if that's something to be proud of." Chris told Cody who looked down in sadness.
"So that's why you didn't make us vote before you called us." Noah said.
"Exactly Noah. Anyways Cody. The Dock of Shame awaits, bro." Chris said but Cody couldn't move in his wheelchair. "I guess we can help you get there." he continued.
"I'll do it." Noah said as he pushed Cody in his wheelchair to the dock.
"Bye, Cody!" Gwen waved goodbye.
"Seeya, buddy!" Leshawna waved goodbye.
"Take care, dude." Owen waved goodbye.
Cut to Noah and Cody on the dock. "If you want a kiss you aren't getting it." Noah told Cody who angrily looked at him. "It was just a joke, sheesh. Anyways, bye. Next time be more careful about what you do in the woods." he finished as the boat arrived and he pushed Cody's wheelchair on the boat.
Confessional: Lindsay
"Heather told me that I was lucky that Cory got hurt and that I'd be in the boat instead of him if he didn't get hurt. I just hope I don't cost anymore challenges, I like Tyler but Heather promised to take me to the Final 2 with her." Lindsay said sadly as the episode ended.
BONUS CLIP
Cody's Audition Tape
The tape opened with Cody in front of a computer. Hey, so I'm Cody. I think I'd be pretty good on your show, although I'd understand if you didn't want me, let all the other guys have a chance with the chicks, heh." Cody awkwardly chuckled and fingergunned. "Anyways, I'm pretty popular, I follow all the cool kids all the time, I'm basically a superstar. I can also make music with computers and stuff, I'd play but my dad gets mad. Anyways see ya!" he finished.
