Chapter Eighteen: So What Did I Miss?

(Ryker pov)

Everything burned, my stomach was killing me, every small movement driving the air out of my lungs as I rolled to my side. I needed to get up, I needed to move, swim or die. I stumble to my knees, every single action taking multiple attempts for my body to cooperate. Through the haze of pain and sparking cold I could see her. I could see Blake. She was cornered, I needed to save her. The first step I take towards her and the White Fang members has me fall to the ground. Reset. I step again, my semblance burning hotter than I had ever felt it. Another step, another fall, another reset.

Step, step, fall, reset.

Step, step, fall, reset.

Step, step, fall, reset.

Step, step, fall, reset.

Step, step, raise my blade, fall, reset.

raise my blade, kill one, fall, reset.

kill one, flick my wrist, kill two, fall, reset.

Over and over, till I get it right, till they are safe. Keep moving, and keep resetting the board. No mistakes. I have so much energy running through me, use it, use it till there is nothing left or they are safe. My life doesn't matter, theirs does, so be a good sword and shield and keep moving. A sea of grey, stained with crimson as I protect the three shining beacons in my life. Red, Black, and White. Souls that keep me going, souls that hold me together in my moment of death. If this is it… Then that's ok. I'm ok.

I hope she will understand why I failed. Understand why I couldn't save her, that maybe if I saved these three, that she would forgive me. Forgive my failures, my mistakes, my shortcomings. Forgive me for burdening her with my very essence. Maybe… Just maybe. She could forgive me for being her son.

The danger is gone, the threats have all been killed or have fled. I don't need to reset the board anymore, they are safe. I can let go. I can die. I hope it's enough. Please be enough.

My eyes snap open, my entire body stiffening as my eyes roam to try and remember where I was. Blake's bunk bed above me, I turn my head, Ruby's face right next to mine. I restrain the flinch as I remember the events that happened the night before.

I woke from my coma, three months of my life entirely gone, and the anniversary of my mother's death was now closer than ever. I woke, and I disobeyed Ozpin. He tried to keep me on campus and keep me from saving my teammates. Ruby looked underweight slightly, Weiss looked way more pale than I remembered, and Blake had deep bags under her eyes. They fell apart without me, and If I didn't show up when I did then they would have died.

Blake had broken her ankle, she would need a few days of rest before her aura would fully heal her ankle. Weiss had major bruising around her ribs, but thankfully no breaks. Ruby showed signs of a concussion. My team was battered, but they were alive. The only injury on Team PNLY was Yang with a concussion.

I lost Fool's Folly, the sword completely destroyed, I couldn't find anything left of it. Mom was right when she said the weapon couldn't handle a Gravity Dust crystal, but it made for a good bomb. I hope Mom would understand that we didn't have much of a choice, that I did it to stop a bad guy and to save my teammates. Still… I needed a new weapon. How the hell did I get a new weapon?

The final thing on my mind was my semblance. How did I keep my gear with me? Had I always been capable of doing that or was it a side effect from the Lightning Dust? I knew that the Dust had me overloaded like it had supercharged me and my semblance, but that didn't answer as to why I was able to keep my gear three months later. Then again… Had I ever rewinded time far enough for me to have changed clothes? I couldn't remember. When I practiced late at night I never rewound super far back, I instead focused on rewinding as many times as possible and just added the time together once I stopped. This was something I could test, maybe when I shower. I could test it out.

Ruby shifted slightly, a small whimper leaving her mouth as she squirmed in her sleep. My hand moved without thinking as I pulled her closer to me, pressing her into my chest as I pulled her face and pressed it into my neck.

"You are ok," I murmur. "I got you."

Ruby's squirming slowed down before she relaxed into my hold. I peer over her head to see my alarm clock on my nightstand. It was an hour before we would usually get up. Turning my attention to Weiss' super bed I could see Blake reading, Weiss' head lay in her lap, the pale princess asleep. The sight brought a strange pang to my heart. It was still wild to me that in the time I had been gone, my girls had gotten so close and had started to sleep in the same bed.

Their explanation wasn't super well put together. Apparently, Weiss had started sleeping in bed with Blake because Blake couldn't sleep otherwise, but that didn't explain Ruby sleeping with them. The excuse that they didn't want Ruby to feel left out felt like a bold-faced lie, or at least a half-truth.

I knew our team was different. Other teams didn't do the things we did. We spent so much time cuddling with each other. It felt like more than just team bonding, but I didn't have the words to describe what it felt like. I always felt so calm with Ruby, Blake, and Weiss. At the same time, I felt on edge, and happy, and sad, and energetic, and lethargic. These three girls made no sense to me. My mind, my heart, and my soul were at war with themselves as to what exactly I felt for them. Maybe Ozpin was right, maybe I do need therapy.

"I think we should talk. While the others are asleep." I murmur. Blake's ears flicked before she slowly closed her book. She carefully placed it on Weiss' nightstand before turning her head to look at me, one hand idle lying on Weiss' shoulder.

"About?" Blake asked softly.

"You were in the White Fang."

Blake nodded. "I was."

"Why did you leave?"

"I left when I realized just how far down the organization had sunk. It wasn't the White Fang I was born into. It had changed."

"Did you have anything to do with my mom?" I ask the question burning my tongue as it leaves my mouth.

"I had already been out of the organization a few weeks before the attack on the SDC main branch office. I also was working for the Vale branch of the organization. I have never stepped foot in Atlas." Blake spoke softly.

"Why did you keep this from us, from me? Maybe I could understand not telling Ruby and Weiss, but you kept this from me too. You are supposed to be my partner, and you know more about me than the others. You should have been able to trust me enough to tell me." I speak softly, the anger I had felt all those months ago long gone. Now I just felt sad about the whole situation. Besides, how could I be angry at her for keeping a secret when I did nothing but keep secrets about myself from the team?

Blake flinched, the sudden movement getting a grumble out of the still sleeping Heiress. "I wanted to, I wanted to tell you, but I was scared. Beacon was supposed to be a fresh start, an opportunity to make up for all the bad I had done in my life."

I stared at Blake for a moment before clicking my tongue and sighing. "No more secrets. We are partners. If I'm going to be honest and open with you, then you need to do the same for me."

Blake smiled, she really did look beautiful when she smiled. "No more secrets," She said before she blanched at something. "Well, maybe one secret. Me and Ruby were going to talk about it when you got back."

Blake chuckled nervously at my unamused look. "I promise it's not a big deal, but it's not something I can't share without Ruby being awake and wanting to have the conversation with you and Weiss."

"Fine, I can accept this one secret as long as you and Ruby come clean soon," I mumble before slowly detangling myself from Ruby and sliding out of my bed. The moment I had left the bed Ruby started to squirm and whimper. I rolled my eyes before reaching down and picking her up bridal style. I brought her over to Blake and slowly set her down next to the raven-haired girl who was now cuddling two sleepy women.

"I'm going to shower. You work on getting them awake. We have to go meet with Ozpin this morning before classes start up today." I mutter as I dig through my dresser and pull out a pink t-shirt and jeans. I missed my hoodie, but apparently, it was lost in my accident, the EMT's having cut it off me to get to my wound.

Blake gave me a nod as I went into the bathroom and shut the door. I didn't bother locking it, Blake would make sure Ruby and Weiss wouldn't walk in. I grimaced as I saw myself in the mirror. I looked chubby. I had gained weight during my coma, but instead of it being lean muscle it was all fat, the small belly I had gained looked gross on me. I would have to get back to my training, I couldn't stand the sight of it. It's not what a guy should look like. Guys needed to be tall and fit. They shouldn't be fat or out of shape. I was neither tall nor was I in shape right now. I couldn't fix one of those things, but the other I could fix.

I get into the shower, trying to look anywhere but my own body. I quickly washed with the body wash I had chosen. I hated the smell of mint and pine, but it was what guys were supposed to smell like. If I could I would absolutely smell like something sweet and fruity. Something citrusy like oranges or mangos. Mint and pine would have to do though.

I groan stepping out of the shower, feeling like I had washed away three months' worth of dirt and grime. I knew they had given me sponge baths, but I knew that was barely enough to keep me actually clean.

I get dressed quickly and stop for a moment, this would be a good opportunity to try and rewind while keeping my clothes. I would only need to rewind a minute at most. I feel my aura flex, and the world snapping around me.


The electricity died down, the world pulling into focus as I found myself once again naked in the bathroom, dripping wet from my shower. "Damnit." I curse as I dry off and re-dress. Once re-dressed I take a deep breath and focus on my semblance. I wanted to keep my clothes. I wanted to go back in time, but I wanted to keep my clothes.

Electricity snapped and the world did too.


I breathed out an annoyed groan as I was once again standing in the bathroom naked and dripping water. I dry myself and re-dress. One more try. One more try, I can do this, I can do this. "C'mon, work you stupi-" My semblance ripples with even more power as the world snaps cutting me off mid-sentence.


I let out a shriek as I was pelted with water. My dry clothes become completely soaked as I flail around trying to turn the water off. I blow out a breath of air, water dripping down me in rivets as I shiver in my soaked clothes.

"Ryker?" Blake's voice called through the door. "You ok? I heard you scream."

"Y-yeah, I just slipped in the shower. I'm ok, I'll be out soon." I lie.

I flex my semblance one more time, aiming for right before I step into the water. The world flexes and I feel my semblance take hold.


I sigh in frustration as I once again am standing in the bathroom naked, my academic uniform sitting on the counter folded neatly, with no signs of having been drenched from the previous loop. I get in the shower and wash myself, my mind wandering to what I had just done.

I could bring my stuff from previous loops with me, but I had no clue what triggered it or how to replicate it. For now, I couldn't rely on it, but it was something to practice and figure out how to do it consistently.

I turn the water off, stepping out of the shower I re-dress for the final time today and step out of the bathroom being greeted by the sight of one amused teammate and two very grumpy and sleepy teammates. Blake was out of bed and had grabbed her clothes but it looked like she had more than just her clothes. Were those Ruby's clothes?

"C'mon Ruby, shower time." Blake smiled.

"I don't want tooooooo." Ruby whined trying to bury herself deeper into the blankets, and an annoyed growl came from Weiss who had her small bit of blanket ripped away from her. The Heiress grabbed the blanket and pulled it away from our team leader getting a yelp out of the girl before Weiss pressed her feet against the small of Ruby's back and kicked her out of the bed.

"Get up you Dolt!" Weiss snapped.

Ruby hit the ground with a yelp, rubbing her head and grumbling as she climbed up off the floor. "I just wanted five more minutes." She wined.

"Your five minutes is more like thirty." Blake chuckled as she guided Ruby to the bathroom. The door clicked shut and locked behind them as the shower turned back on. I looked over to Weiss the question obvious on my face.

"Ruby isn't able to shower on her own anymore. Since your accident, she has become dependent on being around people to keep her mind from wandering." Weiss spoke softly as she too rolled out of bed and went to her dresser and started pulling out her clothes for the day.

"So you both shower with her?" I ask.

"No, I'm not comfortable with that, I like my privacy when I shower but Blake is fine with it. We tried to get her to do it on her own but it didn't end well." Weiss replied as she finished setting her clothes out an odd look on her face as she spoke, her cheeks tinting pink.

I shrugged my shoulders and went back to my bed, pulling out the books and everything I would need for the day. Turning to my nightstand to grab my scroll and my mom's scroll only to find her scroll missing. A pang of panic shot through me as pull open the top drawer of the nightstand and started digging through it, hoping that I had just accidentally put it in the nightstand instead of on top of it. "Weiss," The panic evident in my voice.

"What's wrong?"

"The scroll, it's missing." I pull open the bottom drawer of my nightstand and begin to dig through it, my actions gaining speed and urgency as I pull everything out of the drawer.

"What? What scroll? Yours? It's on top of your nightstand that you are currently ruining you, weirdo." Weiss mocked.

I shake my head a distressed whine leaving my throat. "No. No, no, no, no, no. My mom's scroll. The one she left me to find after she died. It's supposed to be on top of my nightstand."

"Calm down, I'm sure it's around here somewhere," Weiss spoke her voice taking on a tinge of softness as she watched me slowly fall apart.

I pull my bags out from under my bed, throwing my clothes and belongings everywhere as I continue to look, my heart beating so loudly in my ears. "Where is it!" I shout fully freaked out.

"Where's what?" Blake's voice sounded behind us, I didn't bother to look back and just kept searching through my pile of things that were thrown out onto the floor.

"His mom's scroll is missing and he's having a freakout about it." Weiss sighed.

"Besides her crystal, it's the only thing I have left of her. I'm not freaking out, I'm having a completely normal reaction to losing the one thing I have left of my mom." I snap.

"Oh, I know where it is." Ruby chimed making me stop and turn to her.

"You do?" I ask slowly.

Ruby nodded before going to her dresser and digging through her stuff before pulling out the familiar scroll. She handed it back to me, the moment the metal piece of tech touched my hands I brought it to my chest before turning it on and making sure that everything was still on it.

"Why did you have this?" I ask, trying to keep the anger out of my voice. I didn't like that she had taken it, that she had taken something so precious to me.

Ruby gripped her arms in discomfort before sighing. "When you got hurt, Ozpin offered us the choice of staying at Beacon or going home till the start of the next semester. Blake and Weiss stayed… And I left."

My anger quickly gets snuffed out as Ruby's eyes fill with tears. "We didn't know if you would come back. We had no clue how long you would be gone. So when I was leaving for Patch, I saw the scroll on your dresser and I took it with me. I took it to still have a piece of you with me. I just thought if I had your mom's scroll then you would have to come back to me to get it back. I'm sorry."

All the fight just drained out of my body, seeing Ruby slowly go from her happy self to someone so filled with pain and sadness. It killed any anger I could even try to muster. I sighed before getting up from my spot on the floor and walking over to her, my arms wrapping my team leader up into a tight hug. Ruby gave a small whine before she returned the hug, her arms wrapping around me as she balled her hands into fists, gripping onto my academy uniform like her life depended on it.

"I'm back… I'm not going anywhere. I'm sorry I got so upset. That scroll means the world to me. I should have known that one of you would have taken care of it while I was hurt." I murmur into her ear.

"I didn't watch any of the videos, I just wanted it with me, so that I would have to come back to Beacon to give it back. I promise!" Ruby whimpered.

"I know, I know and you did so good. You brought it back to me, and I thank you for taking care of it."

We slowly pulled out of the hug, small tear tracks painting Ruby's face, her eyes red and puffy. I chuckle before thumbing her remaining tears away. A small cough broke us out of our moment, both of us stepping away from each other as Blake gave a small chuckle while Weiss was completely red in the face.

"If you two delinquents are finished with your PDA then we need to go to our meeting with Professor Ozpin once I finish with my shower." Weiss scoffed before taking her bundle of clothes into the bathroom, the door slamming shut and the lock loudly clicking into place.

"Make sure to take a cold shower Ice Queen, we don't have time for you to solve your problem the other way," Blake called out, an indignant shriek of frustration sounding through the door.

"Wait, what problem?" Ruby asked innocently.

Blake chuckled and just waved our team leader off, not bothering to explain her weird joke. Even I was left confused, why would Weiss need a cold shower because she saw me and Ruby hugging?

Ruby looked to me for guidance and I just shrugged not understanding what happened either. I just chalked it up to our team being weird.


"So let me get this straight." I groan into my hands as I rub at the migraine that is coming on. "In the three months, I have been in a coma. My team has fallen apart and barely made it by, with both Ruby and Blake picking up destructive habits all while you did nothing but offer counseling."

"I don't believe I like the insinuation that we haven't been there for your team Mr. Thorne," Ozpin spoke over his mug as he took a sip.

I glanced at my three teammates who looked like they wanted to be anywhere but here right now. I didn't blame them, I was still pissed at them for falling apart so badly because of me. Pissed at them for caring, pissed at myself for letting them down. Turns out that in the near year since my mom's death, nothing has changed for me. I still let those around me down when they needed me.

"Is it an insinuation if it's true?" I bite back.

"Regardless of your feelings towards us, we are beyond relieved to see you up and walking around Mr. Thorne," Glynda spoke, her gaze stern and yet she seemed to have a twinkle to her eye. Was she amused at my dislike towards Ozpin?

I will admit that our relationship had deteriorated to the point of being adversarial. Yes, he had been the one to offer me a chance to attend Beacon, but it felt like the longer I stayed here the more and more involved he was getting with me specifically. It made no sense, and it only led me deeper into distrusting the man on principle. He wanted something from me, and if I had to take a guess I would bet my life that it was about my semblance. While Ozpin wore many masks, he was poor at hiding his desires and motives. The man seemed driven by power, and my semblance was a power too juicy just to let go.

"Yeah, I'm up and walking. If anything I'm better than I was before the coma. I might be out of shape, but my aura is way bigger than it was before. I feel like an entirely different person." I speak slowly, trying my best to formulate what I want Ozpin to know and what I want to keep to myself.

"Yes, in the time you were in your coma, we were able to get your weight up to just twenty pounds under what we want you to be. Should you get back in shape the weight difference between muscle and fat will be enough to cover the rest of the weight." Ozpin spoke.

"Even with this silver lining we still want to see you progress on eating a proper amount of food. We won't let you just go back to starving yourself, so your team's assignment of making sure you eat is still in effect." Goodwitch finished.

Ruby, Blake, and Weiss all nodded in understanding as I grumbled at being babied. I didn't need their help… Well, I did, but I wasn't happy about it!

"One more thing then you may head to class. I expect you to attend therapy as we discussed right before your injury Mr. Thorne." Ozpin said behind his mug.

I nodded, not bothering for a verbal answer. I didn't want therapy, but if they were going to use it as a way for me to stay a student then I would have no choice. Ozpin gestured to us that we could leave and all of us stood in unison and left for the elevator.

Once the door to the elevator closed I breathed out a sigh. "Hate him," I grumble.

"Professor Ozpin just wants what's best for you Ryker." Weiss rolled her eyes.

"He wants to control me." I snip.

"There's no use arguing about it, let's just enjoy the fact that Team RSBR is back together and go shock everyone with your return," Ruby spoke with that odd sense of deterministic enthusiasm she had basically trademarked. The girl wore her heart on her sleeve and it was addicting. I wish I could be as positive as her.

"You really think people will be shocked?" I ask.

"Everyone was convinced you would never wake up. Even Team PNLY wasn't convinced that you would wake up." Blake answered.

"Speaking of Team PNLY, do they even know that Ryker is awake?" Weiss asked as the elevator opened and we started heading to our first class.

"No, they were sent to their dorm and so much stuff happened last night I wasn't able to tell them. Yang and everyone else will be just as surprised as everyone else." Ruby giggled.

We stopped in front of the door to our class, Professor Oobleck was our first teacher for the day. I took a deep breath before nodding to Ruby, the girls shuffling into the classroom. I waited a moment before pushing past the threshold of the door, the chattering classroom silencing in an instant as students all looked at me like they had seen a ghost. Even Professor Oobleck looked shocked.

I smile softly, a small chuckle escaping me. "I'm back," I say softly before I'm tackled by Yang and Nora who had leaped over their desks to get to me. I groaned in discomfort as the blond and ginger-haired girls hugged me with all their might.

"Holy shit you're awake!" Yang grinned as they both finally let me go from the hug.

"When did you wake up?" Nora asked.

"Why didn't you tell us?" Yang asked.

"Did you dream?"

"What did you dream about?"

"Could you tell how much time passed when you were in the coma?"

"Did you get to speak with any of your dead relatives?"

"Nora that's not what happens in a coma."

"How do you know?"

Professor Oobleck cleared his throat, all three of us flinching at the sound. "While I am over the moon that you are healthy and I will talk to you after class to offer whatever help you may need to catch up in your studies. I would like to ask that you save your conversation for after class."

I blush, embarrassed at already being admonished only a few minutes into returning to class. "Thank you, Professor," I say as I slowly take my seat next to Blake while Yang and Nora go back to their seats.

"No problem, and it is Doctor to you. I didn't slave away to get my doctorate to be referred to as a simple professor." Oobleck sighed before he turned back to his board and got his notes for the class prepared.

Pyrrha leaned over her desk for a moment, a small smile on her face. "It's good to have you back Ryker."

I smiled as the class started, it felt good to be back.