Chapter 10 Epilogue
(Ten months later)
Kathryn yawned while forcing herself to concentrate on updating her report. She was running late but she wanted to record the details of the diplomatic meeting before they slipped her mind. She was perpetually tired these days.
The door to her Ready room opened and Chakotay rushed in, carrying their wailing son.
"I'm sorry. I wanted to finish this while everything was fresh in my mind," Kathryn said, slightly flustered.
She unfastened her shirt and Chakotay passed the baby over to her. Once her son started to nurse, the pressure in her breasts decreased.
"I know." He replied.
He approached the couch, eyeing it longingly.
"Don't you dare!" She warned, knowing he'd fall asleep the instant his head touched the cushions. "This is date night."
"Have you thought about what you want to do?" He asked.
She shrugged, feeling guilty that she'd been too busy to consider it.
Neelix had generously volunteered to watch Colton, so they'd reserved the holodeck for a few hours. In the past they'd enjoyed several hiking and sailing programs. They'd even gone to Paris for fine dining and dancing. But nothing sounded appealing.
As her son nursed, she examined the framed photo on her desk. After two engagements, she'd about given up on the idea of marriage and having a traditional wedding. Yet her white satin off the shoulder gown looked very flattering, even concealing her conspicuous baby bump. She and Chakotay were gazing towards each other, practically glowing.
While she missed her mother and sister and would've loved to have included Chakotay's family in the festivities, at least they had their Voyager family to share their special moment with. Neelix and Tom had done a fabulous job creating an intimate beach venue on the holodeck for the ceremony. Afterwards a massive reception was held for the entire crew. The outdoor resort setting was decorated with dozens of shimmering lights and a wide variety of white flowers. Neelix outdid himself preparing fancy hors d'oeuvres and an elaborate four-tiered wedding cake that actually tasted as delicious as it appeared.
To her surprise, their transition to becoming a couple had been relatively seamless. And quick. Since they knew each other so well, they already had a firm foundation. And the fact that the crew had embraced their relationship had certainly helped. Only her fears had been holding them back.
Parenthood, on the other hand, was another issue entirely.
The decision to continue the pregnancy had been difficult. As much as she longed to have a child, she struggled with the idea of balancing that with the dangers of space and the responsibilities of being the captain. She didn't appreciate the situation Kate had created, and especially not the time crunch, forcing her to make such a crucial decision.
While Chakotay had assured her that he would support whatever decision she made, he also reminded her that they weren't getting any younger and that Kate's motivations were essentially her own. Denying those deep desires could result in other problems later.
After she'd undergone the procedure, transferring the fetus into her womb, even after she'd felt the first stirrings of motion, she struggled with resentment and fear, feeling her hand had been forced. She hated how the pregnancy hormones clouded her emotions, and the limitations of her changing body. She obsessed, worrying if she was going to be a decent mother. How would she keep her son safe? However, once the baby was born, many of those feelings subsided.
As a new mother, Kathryn was always worn out and always forgetting something. Chakotay was equally drained, but he did more than his share of childcare. They continued to function well as a team.
She and Chakotay weren't the only struggling parents on Voyager.
She could only imagine the reaction of the Starfleet brass.
This is no way to run a starship. A nursery, parental leave, and job sharing?
But this wasn't an ordinary starship. Or an ordinary mission. After nearly nine years in the Delta Quadrant, people needed the freedom to live their lives, to move forward. To marry and start families, if that was their wish. Despite the massive effort it took to effect these changes, Kathryn was impressed by their positive impact on overall morale.
When her husband didn't respond, she worried he might be hurt by her lack of planning.
"Sorry, I just haven't had the energy," she said.
"I know. How about after we drop Colton by Neelix's, instead of going to the holodeck, let's head back to our quarters, take off our clothes, crawl into bed and-"
How sad was it that she knew how he would end this sentence?
"Sleep." They said simultaneously, with pleasure.
Not that she no longer found her husband appealing. That was far from the case. However, between the demands of the baby and captaining Voyager, her energy was limited.
She admired her son as he ate. His dark hair and brown eyes. His chubby cheeks and tummy. While she'd spent most of the pregnancy worrying, once he arrived, she was shocked by the intensity of her love for him. Chakotay often joked about her becoming a fierce mama bear.
In her arms, Colton appeared so tiny. So vulnerable.
"Maybe we could go back to bed, the three of us." She suggested.
"You know how long that would last." He warned.
They'd tried this, many times. In desperation, trying to get just a few more minutes of sleep. Especially when the baby cried in the dead of night. After about fifteen minutes, Colton would start to toss and kick, or wail loudly.
Once she'd burped the baby, Chakotay reached over to take him from her.
"No. Thanks. I missed him." She held him closer. She could never get enough of holding her child.
The three of them left her ready room together.
THE END
