- WARNING - Mentioning of SUICIDE –

Don't read this chapter if this subject is sensible to you.

Sam was again escorted to the VIP room, a familiar scenario she had anticipated. She understood she had no direct means of accessing the Stargate unless granted permission, and she was fully aware that storming the base was not an option. So, she complied, presenting herself at the entrance without resistance, knowing all too well that Jack likely issued an alert regarding her presence.

In truth, she just wanted to arrive on her terms, devoid of handcuffs. It was a mere technicality, though, for she remained a prisoner no matter how she arrived. Returning to her starting point upon her initial arrival felt like a regression, only now burdened with a heavier heart and more profound pain. As she stared at the blank wall before her, uncertainty clouded her thoughts, wondering what her fate would be. Would they condemn her to a life behind bars or, perhaps worse, exploit her as a mere experiment to their benefit?

Sam couldn't decide which outcome was more terrifying, prompting her to silently wish for a swift end. She harbored no illusions about the goodwill of her captors, people who held dear the deceased Samantha Carter but had no debt or link with her, doubting they would allow her to use the Gate and depart unscathed. Pessimism clung to her like a shroud, its weight dragging her down even amidst the uncertain darkness of her future.

Sam arrived with only her briefcase and a small backpack, meticulously inspected before being ushered into the briefing room. Initially, the device she carried went unnoticed, its appearance disguised as a simple makeup accessory. However, Vala's keen eyes quickly discerned its true nature. Upon closer inspection, scientists confirmed it to be the device they had been searching for.

Meanwhile, as Jack conversed with the President in Landry's office, his gaze remained fixed on the device laid out on the desk. Thus far, no one dared to touch it, fearing the potential consequences of its activation.

"Thank you, Sir," Jack finally said, hanging up the call with a heavy sigh.

Rising from his seat, he left the device on Landry's desk, with SG-1 waiting expectantly in the briefing room.

"What's the decision?" Landry inquired as Jack re-entered the room, his tone measured.

Jack cleared his throat before responding, "Debrief her. We need to extract every detail about that device and how it operates. Get McKay here; he has requested to see his sister before returning to Atlantis. His expertise might be crucial in understanding her explanations."

"If she cooperates," Landry interjected cautiously, prompting a moment of silence to settle over the room.

Jack's expression hardened as he replied, "She'll talk. Trust me," his determination unwavering. "Until McKay arrives, no one engages with her. Only essential interactions, such as meals and medical care, if necessary," Jack instructed firmly before exiting the room.

Daniel let out a heavy sigh, muttering under his breath, "Here we go again."

Sam observed the routine of her confinement, noting that only an airman delivered her meals, and no other personnel ventured near. With each passing hour, she braced herself for the anticipated interrogation. As time passed, she stared at the lunch tray with dwindling interest, resigned to her circumstances. Then, unexpectedly, the door swung open, and Teal'c entered accompanied by an armed airman.

"Colonel Carter, your presence is required," Teal'c announced solemnly.

Sam rose from her bed, adjusting the BDUs she had been provided, and nodded in acknowledgment. It was time to face whatever lay ahead.

"Lead the way, Teal'c," she said, extending her wrists in anticipation of the handcuffs she presumed would follow.

However, Teal'c raised an eyebrow in response.

"As long as you give me your solemn word, there won't be the need for such a thing," he declared.

The airman behind him shifted uncomfortably under Sam's gaze.

"You have my word, Teal'c," Sam affirmed firmly.

Teal'c offered a slow bow before gesturing for her to follow. As they made their way to the briefing room, Sam couldn't help but notice the airman maintaining a cautious proximity, hand hovering near the zat gun at his side.

Upon entering the room, Sam was met by the stern gazes of Jack, Landry, and Rodney McKay, who were already seated.

"Gentlemen," she greeted evenly.

Teal'c indicated a chair at the table's edge, positioning himself behind her as the airman exited the room. Sam's eyes gravitated to the device she had constructed, placed prominently in the center of the table, awaiting scrutiny and interrogation.

"Tell us about this device, Colonel. In detail," Jack ordered, his tone firm.

Sam bit her cheek, a flicker of amusement dancing in her eyes as she glanced at Rodney. "Why? Hasn't Rodney figured it out yet?" she quipped, her smile teasing.

Rodney's cheeks flushed slightly, but Jack cut in before he could respond.

"You were given an order, Colonel Carter. It's in your best interest to obey it," he stated coldly.

Sam sighed, realizing they intended to take the hard line.

"Yes, Sir," she conceded wearily, her gaze returning to McKay. "Try to keep up, Rodney," she added with a slight grin.

Her explanation was thorough, laden with technical jargon that sailed over the heads of Jack and Landry. They grasped only snippets concerning the Ancients, the rest a blur of incomprehensible details. McKay, however, diligently scribbled notes, interjecting occasional "ahs" and "ohs" as he absorbed the information. When Sam finally concluded, the room fell silent save for the scratch of Rodney's pen against the paper. She folded her arms, awaiting Jack's response.

"Do you have everything, McKay?" Jack inquired.

Rodney set his pen down, a satisfied smile playing on his lips. "I do. All of it," he confirmed, meeting Jack's gaze.

"And?" Jack prompted further.

McKay cleared his throat before responding, his expression a mix of surprise and admiration.

"Well, General, it's remarkable work. Portable means we can transport it alongside a Stargate if necessary. It is more convenient than relying on a quantum mirror or predicting solar flares. It's... ingenious," he praised, his astonishment evident.

Sam couldn't help but smile.

"Wow, I bet that was hard to admit, Rodney," she teased lightly, prompting McKay to blush as he fidgeted with his pen.

"It's good work," he admitted grudgingly. "But it also poses risks," he continued, his tone growing severe.

Jack looked at him quizzically.

"What do you mean?" he inquired.

McKay cleared his throat again, his expression solemn.

"Like every quantum mirror, General, it can access other realities. We had one before, which was destroyed by Presidential order to avoid the temptation it posed. Now, we have one compact enough to resemble a pen. What if it falls into the wrong hands?" he posed, his concern evident.

Jack's complexion paled slightly while Landry closed his eyes in contemplation.

"It's a valid point, Jack," Landry acknowledged.

Sam clenched her jaw, already foreseeing the impending decision. They were going to destroy it and, with it, her chance to leave.

"Fine, destroy it, but let me leave first," she requested, her tone resolute.

Jack leveled her with an icy stare. "You're in no position to make demands," he retorted sharply.

"I'm asking," Sam replied evenly, her gaze unwavering.

"Teal'c, please escort Colonel Carter back to her quarters. Her presence is no longer needed," Jack ordered, his tone final as he glanced at his friend.

Teal'c placed a large hand gently on Sam's shoulder, silently conveying his acknowledgment of Jack's directive.

"Please, Jack," Sam implored again, but Teal'c led her away with a firmer grip.

Sam exited the room, breathing heavily, tears streaming down her cheeks. She returned to her quarters and sank onto the bed, her entire body trembling with emotion. Teal'c regarded her with concern from the doorway.

"Are you feeling unwell, Colonel Carter? Do you want me to call for Dr. Lam's assistance?" he inquired, his voice filled with genuine worry.

Sam shook her head without looking at him, her gaze averted. Teal'c closed the door behind him, his apprehension growing.

"Airman, pay close attention to any distress calls inside this room. Alert me immediately if anything happens," he instructed the outside airman.

The airman nodded slowly, and Teal'c departed, though not entirely convinced that leaving Sam alone was the best course of action. Her distress was palpable.

Alone in her room, Sam let the tears flow freely. Realizing that all hope of escape had vanished, she was trapped in a reality where she was perceived as a traitor and deserter. She had lost everything—her career, Jack, Grace, her sense of purpose. It seemed there was no way out. Resigned to her fate, she contemplated her options. Three choices had presented themselves once it became clear she had been discovered: stay if they accepted her, flee to another reality, or end her life. Jack's words had confirmed she wouldn't be leaving, indicating they likely had plans to exploit her knowledge for their ends. But she refused to be treated like a pawn.

With only one option, Sam wiped her tears and rolled up her sleeve. She had been thoroughly searched, but they hadn't found it—the small item hidden on her person. They wouldn't discover it without an x-ray, a prospect she deemed unlikely. Steeling herself, she examined her right arm and swallowed hard. This was going to hurt. And she needed to find something sharp. Scanning her room, she began to search for a suitable implement.

After scouring the entire room and finding nothing suitable to cut herself, Sam realized she had only one option—the mirror in the bathroom. But first, she had to block the door. She pushed the table until it was against the door. It would give her some time. Then, she grabbed a towel and a pillow to muffle the sound, intent on avoiding alerting the airman outside her room. With a deep breath, she summoned all her strength and punched the mirror. It shattered into several pieces, causing Sam to wince in pain.

Slowly, she picked up a shard and sat on the bed, tears streaming down her cheeks as she clenched her jaw. With trembling hands, she began to cut her arm, the anguish of her actions reflected in her pained expression. Blood flowed freely, but Sam paid it no mind as she located the small capsule hidden within the depths of the wound. Without hesitation, she extracted it and placed it in her mouth.

Inside the capsule lay something she had acquired through one of her illicit dealings—a contingency plan for such moments. She had discreetly inserted it into an old scar, knowing it would go unnoticed. No one paid attention to a simple bandage, especially not when accompanied by a plausible excuse like a minor injury sustained while working on the Corvette.

Giving one last glance around the room, Sam swallowed the capsule, trusting in its promised swift effects. She felt no need to leave a note; her goodbyes had already been said, and further explanations seemed unnecessary. She knew she wouldn't be missed—she wasn't his wife or her mother; she was just another Samantha Carter, one among countless others scattered across the universe.

With a heavy heart, she closed her eyes and surrendered to the encroaching darkness, allowing it to claim her.

The discussions in the briefing room continued, but Jack sensed they were going nowhere. McKay had raised valid points, and Jack knew he had to relay them to the President. As they deliberated on the best course of action, Teal'c entered the room, interrupting their conversation.

"O'Neill," Teal'c spoke, drawing Jack's attention.

Jack looked at him, confused. "Teal'c, what are you doing here?" he inquired.

"I left Colonel Carter in her room. She is deeply distressed, and I am concerned," Teal'c confessed, his voice grave.

Jack's eyebrow shot up in concern. "What do you mean?" he pressed, rising from his seat.

Teal'c lowered his gaze. "She appeared to have lost all hope," he explained in a subdued tone. "It was disconcerting."

Jack swallowed hard, his heart rate quickening.

"And you left her alone?" he questioned, feeling anxious.

"You instructed me to do so," Teal'c reminded him.

Jack's mind raced as he issued swift orders.

"Call Carolyn now. Tell her to go to Carter's room," he instructed, already moving towards the VIP quarters. "She wouldn't do it. She wouldn't," he repeated as he dashed down the corridor. The airman looked at him, alarmed by his urgency.

"Open that door, NOW!" Jack barked, prompting the airman to swipe his card and granting him access.

To his surprise, the door wouldn't budge, as if an unseen force held it shut. Summoning all his strength, Jack threw his shoulder against the door, applying steady pressure until he felt it give way with a satisfying creak.

Jack entered the room as the door swung open, his gaze sweeping the area. His eyes found the table, and his worst fears were confirmed.

"Oh no," he whispered, his heart sinking as he saw Sam lying on the floor, blood dripping from her right arm. "Get me the doctor HERE!" he ordered, rushing to her side and gently lifting her.

She was unresponsive, her pulse absent. "Don't do this, Sam," Jack pleaded softly, his voice tinged with desperation.

Carolyn Lam burst into the room moments later, her eyes widening at the sight of Samantha Carter lying motionless on the floor, blood staining the carpet. Without hesitation, she sprang into action.

"Move, General," she commanded, and Jack reluctantly stepped back, his eyes fixed on Sam's pale face.

Carolyn wasted no time, swiftly placing Sam onto a gurney with the assistance of her nurses and initiating CPR maneuvers as Jack looked on, consumed by worry and regret. He couldn't lose her again!

Sam was rushed into the infirmary, with Carolyn Lam immediately taking charge. Straddling her chest, Carolyn administered chest compressions and rescued her breathing. Once inside, Carolyn swiftly handed off the task to another nurse, who continued the chest compressions while Carolyn retrieved the defibrillator.

"Clear!" Carolyn's voice rang out as she prepared the defibrillator, ensuring everyone stayed back. With a jolt, she delivered the shock to Sam's body, her trained eyes scanning the monitor for any sign of response. Nothing.

"Again," Carolyn instructed, determination etched on her face. Another shock coursed through Sam's body, causing her to convulse momentarily before her heart rhythm stabilized. A sigh of relief filled the room as the monitor displayed signs of a restored heartbeat.

"I want a full battery of blood tests," Carolyn ordered, directing her medical team as they hooked Sam up to oxygen. "And let's attend to this arm," she added, inspecting the bloody wound with a furrowed brow. It was clear that Sam had been injured intentionally.

Carolyn wasted no time cleaning and examining the wound, her expression serious. Despite stabilizing Sam's heartbeat, she knew the danger was far from over. There was still much work, and Sam's condition remained precarious.

Outside the infirmary, Jack paced like a caged animal, his footsteps echoing in the corridor, while the other members of SG-1 kept a respectful distance. Vala leaned into Daniel, speaking in a hushed tone.

"Why would she do it?" she questioned.

Daniel shrugged, his expression troubled.

"Maybe she has lost hope," he offered quietly.

Vala shook her head, disagreeing. "No, I don't think so. I think she has lost hope in finding happiness with the General. That would be where I'd put my money," she asserted, crossing her legs casually.

Daniel glanced at Jack, noting the anguish etched on his face. It reminded him of the last time he had seen Jack in such a state—when Sam had gone missing on an off-world mission. They all knew the tragic outcome of that mission.

"Maybe you're right," he conceded to Vala.

A brief silence fell over the corridor, broken only by Jack's restless pacing. Finally, after what felt like an eternity, the infirmary doors opened, and a weary Carolyn Lam emerged, removing her mask. Jack approached her immediately, his anxiety palpable.

"How is she?" he inquired urgently.

"We've established a regular heartbeat, but she's not waking up. It's not a coma, but it's as if her body is refusing to awaken. She ingested a drug that caused her heart to stop. We arrived just in time. A few minutes more, and she would have been dead," Carolyn relayed, her tone tense with concern.

Jack swallowed hard, the gravity of the situation sinking in. "But she will wake up?" he asked slowly, his voice strained.

Carolyn sighed, her expression troubled.

"I honestly don't know, General," she admitted. "She's receiving oxygen, and her heart function appears normal. However, there's a possibility of brain injury, so I'm conducting further tests," she explained before returning to the infirmary.

Teal'c placed a comforting hand on Jack's shoulder, offering his support.

"Colonel Carter has always been a strong soldier, O'Neill. I believe this Colonel Carter is no different," he reassured.

Jack nodded, his mind swirling with worry. He desperately hoped Teal'c was right. He couldn't bear the thought of losing this Sam, not after everything they had been through together.