"What are we doing out here, Cas?" Dean questioned as Castiel pulled off onto the side of the dusty dirt road. About an hour ago, Castiel had only told him they were taking a drive somewhere and wouldn't tell Dean where they were going.
"It's been a while since I've come out here, and I told myself if I was going to go... It'd be with you." Castiel's voice was somber, his hands flexing on the steering wheel as he looked out the window shield at the surrounding scenery.
Castiel had brought Dean out here on their first real date. It was a small clearing in the woods on the edge of a lake. Dean could remember it like it was yesterday, he and Castiel sitting on the bank and just enjoying each other's company.
It was a long time ago, right out of high school and neither of them could afford a proper date like dinner or a movie.
It was intimate. Castiel had prepared a picnic and everything, complete with Dean's favorite dessert in the world, pie. They had eaten the small meal and then the two of them relaxed in the sun, just cuddling together under the sun.
"Come on, I packed a blanket in the trunk." Castiel announced, the sound pulling Dean out of his thoughts.
Castiel opened his door and stepped out, moving towards the back of his car. Dean got out and came around to join him, as Castiel popped open the trunk.
He pulled a folded up blanket out from deep inside the trunk, grabbing up a small Styrofoam cooler Dean hadn't seen him pack before they headed out. Dean shut the trunk as they turned to follow the trail leading to the lake.
-_-_-_
Dean couldn't remember falling asleep with his head in Castiel's lap, fingers carding through his hair as he slept. It was the most soothing thing in the world in that moment.
He stirred awake, blinking emeralds up at his beautiful husband above him, his other hand resting on Dean's chest feeling it rise and fall with his breaths.
"Hey Cas, mmm, how long was I out for?" he questioned, nuzzling into the offered warmth of his husband's hand against his cheek. "Only ten minutes or so, not long." Castiel smiled down at him.
Fuck, he still couldn't believe Castiel had accepted him back like nothing had ever happened. Like he hadn't been gone for three years.
"Feels like I was out for a week." Dean chuckled shifting and twisting to sit beside his husband. He can't help the smile tugging at his lips with the way Castiel's looking at him now.
"I gotta say, I was kind've afraid of coming back..." he murmurs, glancing down at his hands in his lap.
Castiel's hands are cupping over his in an instant, thumbs soothing circles in the scarred flesh. Dean takes a deep, steadying breath before continuing.
"I seriously screwed up leaving, but, fuck, babe... I had to. And the only thing that got me through all the fucked up shit was knowing I'd see you again one day." Dean got quiet then, tears threatening to fall as he waited for Castiel to say something.
"Oh sweetheart, I wanted to see you again so fucking bad it hurt me..." Castiel whispered, leaning his forehead against Dean's, closing his eyes to keep from crying.
"Then why didn't you write me? Six months, Cas. Six fucking months." Dean's voice cracked. His chest ached with emotion.
"I wanted to, wanted to talk to you, hear your voice... My job, my hospital started this program and I was on the top of their list." Castiel began, blinking open his eyes to see Dean staring right at him.
"I was sent to some tiny ass country no one's ever heard of, to perform surgeries for people who couldn't get proper medical care."
Dean laughed then, the sound jagged and wet with his tears. "You were off savin' lives, Jesus, Cas... Of course, you're the best fucking surgeon anyone could ask for."
He brought his husband's hands up and pressed a kiss to each palm. Dean tilted his head back to look fully at Castiel, grinning wide.
"Tell me it was a one time deal, though? Crowley isn't planning on shipping off to God knows where again, is he?" Dean questioned, concern tinting his tone all of a sudden. Castiel shook his head.
"The minute I got back, I referred Meg in my place. She's in a village in Africa right now, continuing my work." Castiel smiled softly. Dean knew his husband had a soft spot for his up and coming surgical resident, Meg Masters.
-_-_-_
"Dean... Dean!" Castiel was practically shouting at his husband, Dean's hands wrapped around his neck, nearly choking him as he held him down against their mattress. Castiel was panicking, struggling to get free.
Moments ago, they had fallen asleep cuddling until Castiel woke up to a weight pinning him down and a pressure on his throat. Dean was having a nightmare and Castiel needed to wake him up without scaring him.
Castiel took a gasping breath, forcing his body to relax and stop fighting Dean. He went limp under Dean's weight, focusing on taking small breaths to stop panicking.
"Dean, please..." he gasped out. His husband's hands suddenly left his neck, green eyes full of confusion and fear staring down at him.
Dean quickly rolled onto his side and off of Castiel, taking in ragged breaths as his eyes darted around the room.
"Hey, it's ok... Dean?" Castiel was sitting in front of Dean now, hands on either side of his face and forcing his eyes to focus on his own.
"You are safe, Dean. We... We are safe." his voice was rough, his throat burning from the sound. He could already feel bruises blossoming on his neck, but he couldn't think about that right now. His only priority was Dean.
"Cas..." Dean's voice sounded distant, pained. His eyes fell to the faint bruises forming on Castiel's neck and welled up with tears. "Fuck, fuck, fuck..." he cried, shaking his head and rocking himself. Castiel was in his face, eyes intense with understanding.
"I'm okay, promise. You were having a nightmare, baby." Castiel pulled Dean down into a hug, holding him against his chest as his husband sobbed into his pajama shirt. He rubbed his hands up and down Dean's back, slowly rocking him as his sobs quieted down.
"I could've really hurt you, Cas... Shit." Dean hiccuped into Castiel's chest, bringing his arms up to wrap around him. Castiel hugged him tightly, resting his chin on top of Dean's head. "You didn't though and I'll be fine, it'll heal." Castiel hummed quietly into his hair.
They remained like that until Dean's breathing returned to normal, only pulling away when Dean was the first to move, sitting up straighter.
"Let's get back to sleep, sweetheart." Castiel pressed a kiss to Dean's forehead as they moved to settle in beneath the covers.
