This takes place shortly after Ahsoka leaves Sabine the first time, but before the Ahsoka series proper or her appearance in the Mandalorian. The cannon events of, well, pretty much everything that's happened to her in the cannon up to that specific point apply, as well as the events of the book "Battlefront II: Inferno Squad".
As for why I'm writing it, well, for closure, I suppose. Especially since I doubt we'll ever hear from Lux in the show proper, or perhaps even ever again.
To Reminisce and Regret
Ahsoka's gaze seemed drawn towards the drink in her hand. She swirled it, watching the red liquid race around her glass and sighed thinking back to only yesterday.
The process of working on machines had always had a calming effect on Ahsoka. She didn't really know why, but something about the mechanisms of machines held her fascination. Perhaps it was the sense of order in a machine that she was drawn to, and maintaining and fixing was like maintaining that order. Perhaps it was how the inner mechanism of a machine all worked together in a chorus of clicks and whirls to fufil their function that drew her to them.
Maybe she just liked how they beeped, she thought with a snort.
"Lady Tano." A tin voice sounded, practically a shout amidst her quiet ministrations.
She made no indication that she'd heard the voice and kept working.
Stepping closer, Huyang then reached out, lightly tapping her shoulder. "Lady Tano?"
The droid's metallic hand shattered Ahsoka's concentration as she accidently dropped her hydrospanner into the panel and it clanged loudly as it descended into the bowels of the ship.
Now it was Ahsoka's turn to sigh.
In her youth, she might have turned around and cursed at whomever surprised her, giving them a good chewing out. Or perhaps react rashly, reaching out with the Force to catch the tool and yank it back with so much force it punctured a hole through the wall or perhaps tear apart the panel wider to catch the falling tool with her hand. Now, such reactions didn't seem worth the bother, such a small indiscretion was simply not worth getting worked up over.
Stars she'd gotten old.
She turned around, facing the ancient protocol droid. "Yes, Huyang? What is it?"
The droid seemed to look slightly down and then at her. "I apologize, Lady Tano. It was not my intent to cause that incident and I also know you do not wish to be disturbed while you're working, but I believe I have received a most interesting message."
Ahsoka raised a single brow. "Is that so? Well, let's hear it."
"It seems that you have been cordially invited to a private party at the request of Chancellor Mothma." Huyang said. "Your invitation and all relevant information pertaining to this gathering have already been forwarded to your personal datapad."
Ahsoka took out her personal device, frowned and inwardly sighed. Ahsoka had been many things throughout her life, but a politician was not one of them. In her youth she'd not had the patience for politics, and now she didn't have the energy. Still, this was Mon Mothma who'd asked her, and after all she'd done for her personally, and for the galaxy at large, Ahsoka could hardly say no. "Well, I guess I'd better clean up. Do me a favor and pick out something nice for me, would you Huyang?"
The droid gave a bow. "Of course, my lady."
Ahsoka had been close to death more times than she could count. Her stint as a padawan in war had practically been Jedi trials in themselves. She'd be shot at, poisoned, and nearly sliced to pieces by the likes of Ventress, Grievous, and Dooku. When she'd been a rebel, the danger had only intensified without the resources of the Republic or the Jedi. But the worst thing about that time to her, was that she had been so alone. Out of necessity, yes, it was true, but alone all the same, sometimes going weeks without seeing her allies in the flesh.
And yet, despite all that, she found herself wishing for the clanking of battle droids or small confines of an Imperial cargo ship as she gazed around the gala. Watching the mingling and the shmoozing made her regret ever coming here as she observed sycophants cozy up to whomever they thought they could and watched them engage in gossip and double-speak.
She had seen a few quick glances her way and she knew they were sizing her up. She knew they were trying to guess at what her presence here meant, why Mon Mothma had invited her. If Ahsoka's presence meant Mon Mothma was weak, or stronger than she'd ever been. If she was a guest of honor or simply another name on a list of dozens or perhaps even hundreds.
It disappointed Ahsoka that even after two relatively consecutive galaxy-wide revolutions, people like these continued to be constants in government. But then, perhaps, that was simply the nature of such institutions, to gather together these social vultures. At least they weren't all the same. There was Mothma, of course, who if anything since becoming the new Chancellor had been a firm hand and a shining beacon for the New Republic. But, there were also quite a few who'd followed in the footsteps of Padme Amidala and Bail Organa.
She felt her heart sink at the thought of them and took a sip of the wine, recognizing it as authentic Alderaanian wine, possibly the last in the whole galaxy and her heart sank even further.
She took another sip. After all, why waste good wine?
But then she felt something, like the Force calling out to her, looked across the room and she stopped dead, as if frozen as she beheld a man she's not seen in many decades.
"Senator Bontari!" Another woman of some importance addressed Lux, drawing his attention. "I heard a rumor that you might have had, oh, shall we say, a bit of a rebellious phase?"
Lux Bontari chuckled good naturedly. "Well, I can't deny that. Indulging a bit of the old rebellious streak from my youth, you see."
The party-goers around him all seemed to enjoy the banter, though Lux knew better than to take it as anything more than indulgence and patronization from shameless flatters. But by now, he was far used to it, taking it in stride.
Mon Mothma, also in the small circle of VIPs then spoke up. "As did we all, I think Senator." She said. "At any rate, it is a welcome sight to see you back in your office after such a long absence. Onderon has surly been poorer for your absence."
Lux gave a slight bow to her. "You honor me with your praise, Chancellor. I do no more than what's asked of me by my people."
A man to Lux's left gave a chuckle and slapped him on the back. "Oh, Senator! You're far too humble!" he said.
"Indeed he is."
The group looked towards the new voice and parted slightly as Ahsoka stepped closer. She watched for a change, a look of shock or at least surprise in Lux's eyes at her approach. But, to her disappointment, if he was surprised at all by her presence, he hid it well as he took a sip from his own glass.
Mothma opened her arms wide. "Ah yes." she said, gently ushering Ahsoka into the conversation circle. "One of the Rebellion's key figures. Jedi Knight; Ahsoka Tano."
"Former Jedi, your excellency." Ahsoka said, politely.
"And never 'knight', if I recall correctly." Lux quipped with a small smirk.
Ahsoka gave a smirk of her own at the dig. "You do indeed, Senator."
"I take it you are already acquainted?" Mothma said, looking from one to the other.
"Oh yes, the former Padawan and I are…" He stopped short for a moment, and something seemed to flash in his eyes that Ahsoka couldn't quite catch before it was gone. "…are old friends."
"Indeed." Ahsoka turned to Mothma. "In fact, I hope you'll forgive me, but I must borrow the good Senator, we have much catching up to do."
Mothma gave a nod. "Of course, I look forward to speaking more with you both later on." With that the two excused themselves and walked away as another round of flattery and gossip started up.
Ahsoka took the lead as Lux followed her to a balcony that overlooked a lovely garden, the moonlight reflecting off a lake in the distance and making the marble of the balcony practically phosphorescent.
"Quite the romantic venue you've picked for us." Lux said, that same smirk still dancing on his lips.
"Glad you think so." Ahsoka replied, leaning back against the balcony railing. She sighed, looking up to the sky. "How can you stand it?"
"What?" He asked. Before jamming a thumb behind him. "Them?"
"Them, this, all this." She looked to him and gestured all around her. "All of it."
He shrugged. "Just used to it I suppose." He said simply, taking another sip of his wine.
"Don't you hate it though? All this fakeness? All these suck-ups?"
Lux looked into his glass, swirling it, pondering how he should answer for a moment. "It is what it is, Ahsoka. Parties like these are the battlefields of politics, and words are their weapons."
Ahsoka looked at him for a one single solid moment before a single laugh escape her. "Ha! 'Parties like these are the battlefields of politics, and words are their weapons'." She mocked, repeating back his words in a parody of his deeper register. She laughed again and Lux smirked good-naturedly. "When did you get so poetic about your job?"
"Years of practice at it." Lux said matter-o-factly. "For many of the people here, this is as close to real honest-to-stars work as they get. They have to make it sound important, to justify their wealth and status to themselves and others."
"Is that the same for all of you?"
"Most at least try to keep up that veneer, some are much less subtle than others though." He said. "It's an unfortunate fact that many are drawn into this life for what its power and status can do for them, not how they can use that power and status to help others. Those are the truly rare ones, like Mothma and… Organa, Amidala, and…" Ahsoka watch his eyes darken listing the last few names.
"And your mother." Ahsoka finished.
"Yes, her too." Lux downed the rest of his drink in one swift motion and set aside the empty glass on the balcony. He then drew closer, joining Ahsoka in learning against the balcony railing. "Now, I know you didn't draw me away from my 'battlefield' to hear me wax poetic on my choice of vocation. That's not what you want to talk about after seeing each other for the first time in decades."
Ahsoka smiled, setting her own glass aside as she motioned to set of stairs leading down into the garden. Lux took the initiative this time, walking towards the stairs, Ahsoka was about to follow behind when he stopped in front of her and held out his arm. Ahsoka blinked in surprise before a soft smile returned to her lips, and she reached out wrapped her hand around his arm, the two setting off for the darkness of the gardens below.
The light of the gala slowly faded behind them as they walked, leaving only gentle moonlight to illuminate them and the calming sound of a fountain the only thing staving off total silence.
Ahsoka snuck in a few brief glances at Lux as they walked. His hair had retained most of its color, and none of it seemed to be leaving his scalp, though a few streaks of silver were starting to show though, it gave him an air of maturity. Speaking of maturity, his boyish features were now gone, replaced with masculine stubble and his walk was not that of an arrogant boy, proud and overcompensating, but that of a thoughtful confident man who knew his worth and had nothing to prove.
Time had been kind to the Senator indeed.
Lux too had been sneaking glances at Ahsoka. Her montrals had grown greatly since he'd last seen her so that they now resembled a royal crown that gave her an air of regal dignity and suited her well. Her lekku had grown as well, dipping past her wait now, a waist which slightly swayed as she walked and one Lux noted had developed quite nicely along with her… other… feminine aspects, a far cry from the teenager he once knew.
Time too had been kind to the once-Jedi.
When Ahsoka thought they were sufficiently alone, she came to a sudden stop. Lux raised a brow as she did, looking to her and watching as she let go of his arm and turned from him, the moonlight leaving her face. "Ahsoka? Is something-" He stopped short as she turned to face him, her face now shining again in the moonlight. and Lux Bontari felt his heart nearly break at the sight before him. He looked into the face of Ahsoka Tano, a proud once-Jedi who only moments ago was conversing with him as if they'd seen each other only yesterday was now frowning and he could see her eyes well up with tears. But the crying her saw before him was not the open weeping of someone in hysterics, or the bawling of a child, but the dignified sorrow of a proud woman in deep pain.
She then suddenly flew into him and embraced him, quite forcefully as well, nearly knocking him to the ground. She turned her face slightly away from his robes as she held him. "I've missed you so much, Lux."
The first mention of his name from her lips in decades shot through the man like a bolt of lightning quickly followed by another as the suddenly naked statement of longing registered in his mind. He gently returned her embrace with his own, gently caressing her montrals all the way down to her lekku and he could feel her shiver at the intimate touch. "And I you, Ahsoka."
They broke the embrace and Ahsoka took his arm again as they began to walk once more. "So, my dear, how have the years treated you? What have you been doing since last I saw you?"
Ahsoka chuckled and then sighed "Oh, where to begin…"
Ahsoka began to regale to Lux of all her adventures of the past few decades, to which Lux listened attentively and patiently, asking only a few questions as she went. She began with her framing on Courscant and her leaving of the Jedi Order, which as it turns out Lux had heard of, but by the time he reached out to her, Ahsoka had gone and no one knew where, but the rest of her stories intrigued him greatly. She continued on, telling of her misadventure with the Martez sisters, the events of Order 66, her time as a refugee mechanic, and later rebel resistance leader on Thabeska and Raada. She told him of her recruitment into the newly-formed rebels by Bail Organa, her time as the rebel agent: Fulcrum and her adventures with the Spectre rebel cell, her duel with Darth Vader, her salvation by, and brief exploration of, the World-Between-Worlds, and finally her somewhat recent parting with Sabine Wren.
When Ahsoka had finished, Lux asked only a few more questions to clarify details, but for the most part seemed to follow her quite easily. His curiosity sated, Ahsoka asked him to return the favor, a request to which he acquiesced.
Lux told her that he'd tried to reach out to contacts many times to find Ahsoka, but after Order 66, he'd feared the worst and decided to stop. If she was alive and they found her than he might accidently tip off her location to the Empire, and if not… he paused for a moment before continuing. He described how he'd tried to work within the Empire's new frame of government but found it impossible to do anything lasting or meaningful either for Onderon or the galaxy at large. He told her about Maia, his goddaughter, about Saw and his partisans, about how he joined the Rebellion officially when he'd joined the remnants of the Partisans, the Dreamers as "The Mentor" and how he'd used his connection to his stepdaughter and her love for him to provide the Dreamers with targets.
Lux noticed Ahsoka looking at him especially curiously as he mentioned his marriage and stepdaughter.
He told her how about the radical and extreme things the Dreamers did to leave even the barest hint of a scratch against the Empire, and how often he'd convinced himself to go along with things, even as he filled with shame. When the Dreamers were eventually taken down from the inside by Imperial agents, a part of him was relieved, even as he himself was confronted by the very same Imperial agents and was due to be executed. But, for whatever reason, the agent sent to kill him allowed him to tell much the same story he'd told Ahsoka now, and attempted to capture him alive instead of killing him, choosing to try and stun him instead. But, the stun wasn't quite as potent as she thought, and Lux escaped, barely conscious, but alive.
"…after that I went underground for a while. Eventually I managed to meet back up with Rebel forces, but without my connections, I wasn't helping out nearly as much as I was before. And then before you knew it, the war was over." Lux said, as he wrapped up his story.
"Yes, it was kinda disappointing, wasn't it? Not being there for the end, just hearing about it later?" Ahsoka said.
Lux nodded. "Guess they didn't need a couple of old timers like us to help, eh?"
She slapped him lightly on the chest. "Speak for yourself, old man."
The two came to the fountain and looked down into the pool, only light ripples stopping them from seeing perfect reflections of themselves in the water. Ahsoka reached up to her own face, feeling the lines etched into it. "The Empire stole so many things from all of us. I suppose we should feel lucky that from us, it only took our youth." The two continued to stare down at the water, looking into each other's eyes through the reflections. "Do you ever wonder what could have been?"
"Every day, yes, I do, my dear."
"Imagine the life we could have had…" …together.
"I have, a great many times, yes. And you?"
"Yes."
They turned to look at one another in the eyes, a deep blue meeting a green-gray. "Do you regret the life you've lived?" Lux asked.
"I have many regrets. But one trumps them all." Ahsoka said with a sorrowful smile.
"I feel the same." He sighed. "I wish I'd told you how I felt, back then. The same thing I feel for you now."
"Why didn't you?"
"After Steela…" he stopped. "I didn't want to betray her feelings for me, or mine for her and on top of that, you were a Jedi. It just didn't seem right."
Ahsoka gave a small rueful laugh. "If it helps, I think I always sort of knew, Lux. The Force, you know? I can just kinda feel it off you." She looked down and away from him, back to the water, but avoiding the gaze of his reflection. "But you were right about one thing, I was a Jedi. I thought I shouldn't engage with those feelings. Then, when I wasn't a Jedi, I didn't want to engage with those feelings, or any feelings really, not even my own. I was hurt, and just wanted to be alone, to lose myself and put my past behind me, all of it."
"Did you ever feel the same?"
She looked to him with a loving gaze. "I did, yes." Ahsoka said, her smile gentle and warm. "But between you and Steela getting together and the rules about attachment from the Order, I convinced myself that I didn't."
Lux took her hands in his and leaned in close. "And now?" He almost whispered to her.
The two closed their eyes as their lips met and they felt the spark of decades ago flare again. Their lips parted and they gazed at one another again.
"Does that answer your question, Senator?"
"Empathically, my dear."
A few moments of silence fell between them, and neither wanted to spoil the moment.
But eventually, Ahsoka did. "So, what now?" She asked.
Lux turned, looking to the glow of the gala in the distance. "I suppose we return to reality, to the real world, to life."
Ahsoka brought her hand to his cheek, turning him to face her. "But do you really want to? What good has life been to us? What if we just stayed here? You and me? Together?"
She could see it in his eyes, Lux was considering the possibilities. "There was a time, when I would have given anything to hear you say those words..." Then, to her disappointment, she saw resignation twist his features, as he gently took her hand from his face. "…but it was never the right time."
She was silent, looking down and away from him before she said the six words that hurt them both. "And now, it never will be." She finished sadly. It pained her to say it, just as much as she could tell it pained him to hear it. But deep down, she knew he was right. Whatever, was, perhaps even still was, between them, too many things had happened, too many things had changed.
It was just too late.
"The galaxy still needs us, Ahsoka." Lux said, looking again to the gala. "It needs people like you and I to set it right. People who've seen the worst the galaxy has to offer and can make it better for future generations."
Ahsoka gave a small mirthless laugh at that. "You sound like you're running for office, Lux. Should I tell the Chancellor to watch her back?"
Lux turned back to her, giving a small sad smile of his own. "Force of habit, I suppose." He took her chin in his hand. "But you know I'm right. There's still much work to be done, both for you and for me." He said, moving his hand from her chin to her cheek as he did. "The New Republic's Senate will swarm with the opportunistic and the corrupt, and I must be there to stand in their way."
Ahsoka reached up, laying her hand atop his. "And I can feel that the Force isn't done with me yet. It will lead me to places that you can't follow." Ahsoka closed her eyes, sighing, then opened them again, that same rueful smile appearing. "I hope you'll think fondly of me." She said.
"Always, my dear." Lux said, lowering his hand and offering his arm to her.
She took it reluctantly, and the two began to make their way silently back.
As they reached the steps, Ahsoka stopped and Lux looked at her, concerned. She looked up the stairs and then to him and spoke one last time. "I just wish-" She began to say.
Lux gave a sad nod of understanding. "I know, Ahsoka. Me too."
With that the pair ascended the stairs and joined the gala once more.
Two fates entwined.
But never joined.
