Like riding a bike (1)

A.N. In true House fashion we have a cheeky two-parter on the cards. Funny how things work out, ain't it?


"So you decided on go-karting then? Good plan. Start off nice and casual, no pressure, and gradually amp it up from there. The last thing you wanna do is start off big, because then you have nowhere to go". Wilson was slouched in his friend's armchair sipping beer and watching football on low volume.

House grunted and retrieved his leather jacket from the stand by the door. "Speaking from personal experience there, Wilson? What, did you take Sam to the Eiffel Tower for the first date or something?".

"Nope. Roman Colosseum".

House's head span round from the mirror, meeting his friend's eye, which had lifted at the movement. They looked at each other for a few seconds before bursting into laughter. "You don't know shit about the Colosseum", he said eventually.

"And you do? No, wait, don't answer that. A boring history lesson from Professor House is the last thing I want".

"History isn't boring. I'd educate you but I have somewhere to be". Satisfied with his appearance, House ambled down the corridor to find his shoes.

"Yeah, yeah. Save it for someone who might actually put out", he muttered, taking another swig of beer.

House decided not to mention that he had spotted several history books in Cameron's bag when he had conducted covert operations a few weeks back.

"Speaking of putting out", Wilson continued, "I still have those anti-bacterial condoms from your last date with Cameron if you need 'em".

"That was over a year ago. Going through a dry patch, are we?", House commented as he tied his laces.

"Sort of. But it's more that for some inexplicable reason, whenever I see them, your ugly mug pops into my head. Suffice to say the mood dies somewhat after that".

"Don't sweat it, pal. People already think we're gay anyway". House was ready to leave; he got up and retrieved his helmet from the sidetable.

"OK. Now, remember: you like her, she likes you. Be nice, be open, be calm. Be you but don't be too you. Don't fuck this up. Sexy brunettes willing to be your girlfriend do not grow on trees, so maybe let her win a race or two".

House rolled his eyes. "Thanks, dad. I've done this before, you know".

"Not since disco-".

"-don't say it". The last thing he needed was a reminder of a date that didn't go well before a date that he wanted to go well. "If I come back and all my alcohol is gone...I know where you live".

"Good luck!", shouted Wilson as the door slammed shut. "I hope you won't need it", he whispered to himself.


House pulled up to Cameron's apartment block, dismounted, then entered the building and climbed the stairs, using the time to take a few deep breaths and calm pre-date nerves. Though he was no stranger to female company (an image of Wilson scoffing at that flashed through his mind), he hadn't been on an actual date for a long time. It was very easy to take from women about whom you cared nothing and whom you would likely never see again.

But this was Cameron. Not only did he see her every day, but he actually cared for, and didn't want to hurt, her. This reflection really put the pressure on. Their previous 'dates' had not really been worth the name. The monster trucks evening was categorically not one, and the Café Spoleto one was extorted. But tonight was his idea and there was no way to spin it—this was a date. Scary. House prayed to Satan that it would be just like riding a bike. As he knocked on her door, the thought brought him comfort because he was brilliant with two wheels. Like riding a bike, Greg. Like riding a bike…

Cameron opened the door and beamed at him. If she was nervous, she didn't show it. "Hi".

"Hey", he answered, before kissing her, grateful for that winning smile and the raspberry lip gloss. "I, er, got you something. Here".

"House, you didn't need to…". Cameron's voice trailed off as she took a small box from the paper wrapping. It was stamped 'Tiffany'. "House…", she looked up, but his gaze had suddenly found a fascinating spot to study over her left shoulder. "Honestly, this wasn't necessary", she breathed.

"Just open it". Still he refused to meet her eye.

Cameron swallowed and reverently cracked the ornate box open. If he'd got her a necklace or a bracelet she was going to cry. The lid lifted gradually, revealing the treasure within, and she took it out.

"Well?", asked House. "What d'you think?".

She looked at the item in her hand and then back to House, whose goofy expression caused a wide smile to emerge from ear to ear. "It looks…amazing", she said.

"I know, right? Why don't you give it a whirl and we can see what we're working with?".

Cameron nodded, picked up the object, and took a huge bite out of it as the other looked on expectantly. "God, this is so good", she managed between chews. "How did you…? Where did you…? It's so rich yet light; so chocolatey". Bits of brownie flecked round her mouth but she didn't care.

"I'm afraid I can't say. Trade secret and all that. Hey, don't eat it all", he remonstrated, reaching out to grab the brownie.

But Cameron had other ideas and nimbly sidestepped. "I think not. This was a gift for me". Though she tried to remain stern and glaring, it was proving difficult to maintain her expression whilst still attempting to stuff as much of the thing into her face as possible.

"I got that for us to share!".

"Ah, well, you failed to make that clear. Not my problem that you suck at communication, Dr. House". Cameron gave a little shriek as the other lunged towards the brownie. Before long, she had scampered behind the sofa and House tore off after her. "You won't catch me, House...mffffhmph-", shouted Cameron between mouthfuls as she led him in rings around her apartment. "-I'm an expert…mfffhmhyummy...runner, and I know this place like…omnomnom…the back of my hand". A trail of chocolate crumbs marked their progress, but she'd not counted on House's grim determination, nor his loping stride. She could sense the other gaining ground, and she really put her head down, surprised at House's speed. I knew he was fit but jeez. What is this guy?

Round and round they went, through the open rooms of the apartment. Cameron was at a disadvantage—she was in bare feet which granted little purchase on the wooden and carpeted floors; House, though, still had on his sneakers. It was only a matter of time.

Before long the chaser caught his squealing quarry and wrestled her to the sofa. Both were breathing heavily. "Where is it?", he demanded, smelling her chocolatey breath, the evidence of her guilt.

"I ate it. It was yummy", Cameron replied, looking up into House's eyes, feeling his weight above her.

"I wanted some", he growled. "There's no way you managed it all while we were running. Give it to me".

Suddenly Cameron's eyes changed. They lost their mock fear, their mischief, their playfulness. "I'll give you anything you want, House. Anything at all".

House's expression also changed: the eyes were suddenly far-off, unfathomable, and his grip on her body slackened a little. She silently cursed herself for ruining the moment and prepared to make a hasty retraction. But as she opened her mouth to speak, the other placed his finger on her lips. "Really?", he asked softly, removing his finger.

"Yes", she whispered.

"Good, because right now I want to kiss you, Cameron". His voice had dropped to the husky murmur that was becoming increasingly familiar to the immunologist, and she made no reply, instead pulling him into a fierce kiss. House's tongue explored her mouth, tasting the chocolate and the raspberry lip gloss. "Hmm, I think you taste better than the brownie anyway".

Cameron inhaled sharply as she could feel him against her hip.

"And I think my body agrees", he grinned. "Come on, we'd better go or I'll never leave this place".

She laughed and accepted his hand, enjoying the sensation in her chest and the warmth that had briefly begun to radiate from her core. Feeling like a teenager again, she took the helmet he offered and left the apartment, excited for the evening ahead.