GATE: Red vs. Blue

Disclaimer: I don't own Red VS Blue or GATE

Thaqif- Damn dude, four reviews? Any way, glad you like it, and I think I'll be updating this fairly often. And yes, I plan on the interactions being fleshed out and funny. And we have bets for Sarge/Rory, Simmons/Tuka and Lelei/Caboose! And don't worry, my chapters are nevertoo short and I have some plans for the story dirverging eventually. And those predictions sound likely.

Ghost-407- Don't worry, they won't be the only race he gets along with.

The True Skull- Again, you have abetter name for the things I mentioned, do tell. And One bet on Rory/Tucker!

OBSERVER01- Omega won't.

Rotciv557- Don't worry, it won't. It was addicting just to write. XP

Demon King73- sorry, probably not.

Blue Hare- Oh, they're not the only ones that will find out.

animefan29- And more you shall see...And yeah, pretty much.

Mandalore the freedom- Quite possibly. And yeah, the dragons aren't as easy to take down. And yes, the prince will get what is coming to him. And thank you for the suggestions.

Drgyen- Good to hear! Well, the guy is probably as strong as Maine, so he was bound to be a monster for them to fight. His angry mode even more so. If this wasn't taking into acount post-blood gulch events/facts, that would work hilariously so.

X3N0 1NV1CT4- Thank you! I try.

raptorfire777- Ahh, the stories the survivors tell of this battle, will be long song around campfires to scare young and old of all races.

The Richmaster- Well, as my beta says, the Blood Gulchers are pretty much defeat anything except each other.

Romantic Warrior 1999- I will not deny being Batty!

Regular Speak

Thoughts and Flashbacks

Demonic or Animalistic Speak

Demonic or Animalistic Thoughts

"Okay, Donut, grab the cycle and...well, reek some havoc," Grif instructed with a shrug as they pulled up to the Blue Base, running over many charging soldiers and a few goblins

"I'm on it! I'll give to them so hard, they'll go cross-eyed!" Donut promised as he ran for the Motorcycle.

Grif groaned, leaning his head against the wheel, "At this point, the homoendos are more annoying than uncomfortable," He bemoaned, glancing to Blue Base, "Yo, Blue!? You guys need us to make a trip around your base?!" He offered loudly.

"We're good; IF SOME FUCKER COULD ANSWER THE GODDAMN PHONE!" Church yelled loudly, scaring several soldiers around him and giving him a chance to shoot them in rapid succession.

"Who the hell is he calling?" Grif muttered to himself as he put the Warthog into reverse.

"Hold on a sec, Grif," Simmons requested, "Hey, Shelia! Can you tell me where the archers are!?" He called curiously as Donut roared off with a lady-scream war cry.

"Primary location of enemy archers: perpendicular formation next to the Gateway, on the side closest to Blue Base," Shelia answered instantly, even as swords pathetically tried to damage her hull, "Would you like me to clear them out, Tomato Can?" She offered, just a bit playful.

"Naw, just wanted to know where to aim! Thanks!" Simmons responded.

"What was that about?" Grif asked as they pulled out, running over a few soldiers as they did.

"Eh, the arrows can't do much, but I figure enough of them might blow a tire or mess up Shelia's treads," Simmons answered with a shrug as he started shooting again.

"Well, this is a fucked up day," Grif decided as they drove beside the empty side of the canyon, Simmons leveling entire lines of soldiers with the turret.

"Tell me about it. I got through the worst fake-trial in history, than we're fighting something out of a fantasy movie!" Simmons retorted in annoyance.

"Hey, I got you out of that pretty well! Without Officer Short-Short either!" Grif countered with a grin beneath his helmet before blinking, "...Oh, fuck!" He cursed as he took a sharp left, plowing right into the army.

"Grif, what the hell!? We were supposed to drive AROUND the army, not straight through it!" Simmons yelled in alarm, the ride getting very bumpy.

"Look behind us!" Grif countered grimly.

"Huh?" The maroon soldier questioned as he looked over his shoulder, "Oh shitshitshit!" He cursed in fear as he saw nearly a dozen mounted dragons flying right at their tails, "Where did they come from!?" Simmons said as in shock as he turned the gun around.

"They dived at us! We paid so much attention to these assholes, we forgot about their flying friends!" Grif answered, trying to avoid anything bigger than a human.

"Well they're about to get a RED hot meal of bullets!" Simmons punned as he fired the gun. To his surprise, the dragon didn't turn into a bloody mess. Instead, it roared in pain and fell to the ground, but didn't die, "What the fuck?!"

"Well, we knew there had to be a few things we couldn't curb stomp here," Grif commented calmly, even as the other flying reptiles flew higher, above the Gatling gun's range.

"Grif, we got problems! High ones!" Simmons yelled, his voice croaking in worry.

"Hey, Church!" Grif yelled over the line, "You can snipe now, right?! Think you can kill the dragon riders? I don't think your rounds can pierce their scales!" He requested.

"Yeah, yeah, give me a second!" Church answered as he tried to clear the growing-ever-more claustrophobic ceiling, "Caboose, I need a little help! Keep them busy while I deal with the dragons!" Church yelled.

He was instantly rewarded with Caboose charging with a shield from his ramp, straight towards the other. After a brief moment of screeching metal and screams, Caboose backed up and cheerfully announced, "Okay, both sides are clogged!" He assured happily, grunting as he was hit in the head, "Hey! We were in time out!" Caboose complained, shooting the soldier in the knee, "Now sit on the bench!" He declared in his mean voice, shooting him in the head. Several of the soldiers on the roof took one look down the ramps before jumping off the side, in fear of Caboose.

Church, noting that for later, shot the two closest to him before spinning around and switching back to his sniper, spying the dragons. "...If I can't make this, I'm not complaining," He said, aiming in front of a rider before firing.

Caboose, meanwhile, grabbed a soldier that happened to be wearing and dragged him away from Church.

As if struck by thunder, the corpses fell from the flying beasts, who flew about more wildly now, "...Holy shit, he actually hit them all," Simmons said in shock

"I know, I'm awesome and all, but that's not going to stop the real issue! Shelia can't hit targets that fast, so how do we deal with our scaly friends?!" Church asked as he ran back to check on the ramps.

If he had a stomach, he might have puked…maybe.

The ramps had piles of corpses and bent shields so high that it made climbing over them impractical and very dangerous, not to mention slippery with all the blood, "...Goddamn, Caboose," Church commented to the red-fisted blue.

"What? Did I not make the fort big enough?" Caboose asked with a head tilt, the ceiling now devoid of living enemies.

"No, no, you did good," Church assured quickly, "Hang up here for now and keep an eye on things, I got to figure out what to do with these dragons," He instructed.

"Would a broom help?" Caboose asked curiously, "Cause, we don't have a spell book...and it doesn't look like it'll rain..."

Church sighed, feeling the urge to face palm, "This is not Harry Potter, Teen Titans, or Pokémon!" He informed bluntly.

"And Charizard isn't a dragon!" Simmons yelled over the open channel.

"Not the time! Grif, deal with him, please," Church requested.

"Now THAT is an order I can get behind!" Grif declared mischievously, hitting the throttle as he went towards a hill before turning a hard left.

"NONONONONONONO!" Simmons yelled as they went skidding, flipping over before hitting the canyon wall, and landing right side up, by some miracle, "Never. Do that. Again!" Simmons demanded.

"Then don't be a total nerd in the middle of a battle! Yell whatever you want at these Roman-wannabes, but leave the rest of us out of it," Grif requested as he started driving again, "Besides, we're back outside the army now."

"Umm, hey, Blue?" Sarge called over the line, back-to-back with Tucker as they leveled through the steady stream of enemies coming up to face them, "I may have a solution for our dragon issue."

"If it involves death rays, mind control or anything else like that? Than we don't have time," Church pointed out quickly and matter-of-factly.

"No, not those! We had some anti-tank rounds delivered a while back," Sarge explained, "Trouble is, Grif lost-"

"They're in the bathroom, inside the sink cabinet, between the pipe and the top of the cabinet!" Grif informed quickly.

"...Say what now?" Sarge and Simmons asked in surprise.

"Oh, that's what that was?" Donut asked in surprise, "I was curious, but thought it was something personal- or top secret! Like the emergency self-destruct for the base!"

"I keep a few emergency supplies in case things ever go to shit! That includes the only anti-tank rounds you bothered to order, Sarge!" Grif informed in irritation.

"...Grif, I am torn between wanting to shoot you for hiding military equipment and wanting to congratulate you on one of your first smart ideas!" Sarge said in bewilderment.

"Putting that aside for later; Donut, you're closest to the base and know what it is- get it out here and over to me! I'll keep an eye on your thing!" Church instructed.

"You can keep your eyes all over it, Sir!" Donut answered enthusiastically.

Church groaned a bit, not needing that right now, "...IS THAT PHONE EVEN RINGING?!" He yelled to the heavens.

Meanwhile

*RING*RING*RING*

"BLAST! CAN'T ANYONE ANSWER A PHONE IN THIS LAIR!?"

"Soy s lo una cabeza , y que est n compartiendo un cuerpo con la nica persona en este espacio," Lopez answered, his robotic voice still conveying his sarcasm. [I am just a head, and you are sharing a body with the only other person here.]

*RING*RING*

"He's right you know. Maybe we should hire a butler?" Doc suggested helpfully.

"Maybe I'll keep you around for that when I'm done with you, Fool," O'Malley responded dryly.

"Me, a butler? If I couldn't finish medical school, I doubt I could do that," Doc pointed out with a chuckle.

"Shut up, you fool! I'm sure a few jolts to your nerve center would make you a fast learner!" O'Malley countered with a diabolical cackle.

*RING*

"Vas a responder a eso o no?" Lopez asked, wishing he had the capacity to sigh. [Are you going to answer that or not?]

"Fine, you impudent footstool!" O'Malley said with a groan as he answered the call, "Hello, this is Evil Lair Incorporated, home of all future plans to reduce the universe into dust! How may we direct your call?" O'Malley asked mockingly.

"O'Malley, cut the shit!" Church yelled as he kicked a soldier off the edge of the once-again flooded base, shooting three more with his rifle, his sniper rifle now on his back.

"Hey Church!" Doc greeted, ever friendly, "You okay? Sounds like you're a bit busy."

"Understatement of a lifetime, Doc!" Church said, throwing down a smoke grenade and tossing a frag down the ramp, "Caboose, I thought you dealt with these?" He asked, leaning back as the explosion went off.

"Sorry, rush job," Caboose explained bluntly.

"Wait!...How did you get this number?!" O'Malley demanded in anger, "Did Wyoming tell you! How much did he sell me out for!?"

"Dude, it was on the computer when we attacked your base!" Church answered in annoyance, picking off the troops with his pistol as he made his way through the smoke.

"Church, is it still smoky or did my eyes shut off again?" Caboose called curiously, breaking the arm of a soldier he couldn't actually see.

"Smoky, Caboose," Church assured.

"Oh...," O'Malley said, just a tad sheepish.

"Te dije que olvidamos algo," Lopez snarked from his corner, [I told you we forgot something.]

"Silence! So, Church, to what do I owe the pleasure of this call? Need help killing something?" The Anger A.I. asked mockingly.

"As a matter of fact, yes!" Church answered, keeping an enemy in a headlock and using him as a shield when more troops tried to attack.

"Well, sorry to disappoint, but..." O'Malley trailed off as the words registered, "Wait, what?!" He asked in disbelief.

"Yeah, Seriously?" Doc asked in surprise, "Church, you do remember who this is, right? The psychotic, evil, rocket-wielding computer program that you guys have been fighting?" He reminded uneasily.

"Flattery will get you nowhere," O'Malley said off handedly, too focused on Church to pay Doc full attention.

"Si stos no eran idoits, pensar a que se trataba de una trampa," Lopez commented, confused as well. [If these weren't idiots, I'd think this was a trap.]

"That is EXACTLY who and what I need right now!" Church yelled into the mike, ducking under a sword swing and grabbing a discarded rifle, "One second! Hey, Caboose, you dropped this!" He yelled, throwing it down to his berserk comrade.

"Thanks, Church! Now I got two!" Caboose's response could be heard faintly, followed by dual sets of rapid gunshots.

"Where the fuck did he get the other from...?" Church wondered to himself, but decided not to question it too much.

"What is going on over there!?" O'Malley yelled in frustration, having barely heard Caboose's responses before that.

"We got an invasion!" Church answered, shooting a soldier's head off at point blank range.

"An invasion? I thought that wasn't for another ten weeks?" Doc asked in surprise.

"What was that?" Church asked blandly.

"Nothing, nothing!" Omega answered quickly.

The Ghost of Church sighed as he turned to his comrade, "Caboose, you mind giving me a moment?" He requested.

"Kay!" Caboose answered cheerfully as he jumped down the ramp, using a shield as a skate board with the Romanesque warrior still under it. Once at the bottom, he held up both rifles and shouted in his Angry voice, "Feast upon the pain of your owies!"

"So, who do you want ME to kill, Church? If it's those Reds, I'm not really interested. Rather kill you all in one go, you know?" He informed casually.

"No, not them. Some weird portal thing showed up and started spewing them out by the thousands!" Church answered, looking out at the battlefield, "...Make that tens of thousands."

"...First off, are you high?" Omega asked skeptically.

"Dude, I'm a ghost in the shell of a robot, so that's not really an option," He reminded flatly..

"Had to be sure," O'Malley answered with a shrug, "As flattered as I am, what makes you think I can help at all with that many?" Omega asked curiously.

Church chuckled a bit at that, arousing O'Malley's attention, "One second, got a delivery," He said, almost teasingly as he put O'Malley on hold.

"...This is getting a bit weird," Doc commented awkwardly.

"Usted es un pacifista que comparten un cuerpo con una IA omnicida, y yo soy la cabeza de un robot que s lo puede hablar espa ol. Cuando no era raro?" Lopez asked dryly. [You're a pacifist sharing a body with an omnicidal AI, and I am the head of a robot that can only speak Spanish. When was it not weird?]

"Hey, Church!" Donut yelled over the radio due to the yells in his ear and being half way out in the canyon. He was waving the ammo-box, "I got something for ya!"

"Can you make that throw?!" Church asked, wondering if Donut even had the room to throw properly in that vehicle.

"You bet your Blue ass I can!" Donut declared proudly, tossing it high and far, several medieval troops stopping to stare in awe and confusion.

Church watched as it came his way, reaching up grab it...and missed it on the tips of his fingers, "Horseshit!" Church cursed as it hit the floor and, thankfully, didn't spill its content as it skidded across the floor...and stopped by the foot of a soldier, as several more climbed up from the back ledge. The soldier, probably the leader of whatever these people called a small unit military unit, smirked as he believed he had something important underfoot.

Church slowly lowered his weapon, seemingly in defeat to his foe, before he blew the man's offending leg off, leaving him howling in pain on the floor. Before the others even made it half way to him, Church shot the three others already up before walking over to the ledge, kicking off one who was climbing up. The others, forming a human ladder, looked up in fear and horror as Church casually dropped a grenade off the side.

"Dumbasses," He muttered As he walked away, he only stumbled briefly at the explosion.

Caboose raced back up to find Church picking up a box, "Church?" He asked in confusion.

"Just a few sneaking around back, I took care of it," Church assured dismissively.

"Oh, okay!" Caboose said before jumping back down, "Time for a dessert of agony, with a scoop of death!"

"He is trying way too hard to sound mean," Church mused as he loaded the anti-tank bullets, "So, where were we?" He asked to O'Malley.

"You were explaining how "I" can help against an army supposedly in the quintuple digits?" Omega answered, curious despite himself.

"Oh, yeah. That's the best part: We're fucking fighting Romans over here!" Church informed loudly.

"...Romans?" Omega asked in confusion.

"Well, not literally, but think that time period: horseback, bow and arrows, swords, shields, etc," Church elaborated.

"...You...You're serious?!" Omega asked, mouth almost watering.

"Ohh, completely," Church assured smoothly, egging him on, "Think of it, Omega. All those primitive soldiers, up against twenty-sixth century tech: Rammed over by the warthog, blown away by grenades and tank fire, torn to shreds by bullets, their fleshy corpses blanketing the canyon as their blood pools into small lakes to completely the hellish landscape," Church described whimsically.

"OH ALPHA, ENOUGH WITH THE FOREPLAY!" Omega yelled, slamming his hands on the terminal, panting and almost frothing at the mouth.

"Church, my body is getting a boner that isn't mine!" Doc yelled in discomfort.

"Did not need to hear any of that!" Church said in disgust, "Going to need a shower after this..."

Omega cleared his throat as he regained his composure, "Y-yes, well, for such an event, I would be more than happy to aid your foolish friends, Church," He said, both eager and a bit embarrassed.

"Good. Bring your rocket, your bloodlust, and anything else you need!" Church declared.

"Church, I'm really not comfortable with this," Doc informed, "And not just the boner thing, but the "unleashing Omega on all those people" thing as well."

"Really? Because I'm not comfortable with giving a fuck!" Church responded snarkily.

"I'll be over there as soon as artificially possible!" Omega said quickly and impatiently

"Waitwaitwait!" Church called urgently, "Before you do, I need you to do me a favor!"

"Always a catch," Omega said in amusement, "Fine, name your price for paradise."

"I need you to call off your dog Wyoming and patch me through to Tex!" He explained.

"How do you know about Wyoming?!" Omega asked in surprise.

"...You told me, like, five minutes ago," Church deadpanned.

"Oh...," Omega realized, "I'll, um...I'll get right on that."

"Suave," Lopez commented. [Smooth.]

"You do that...," Church said lowly as he eyed the dragons that were very much returning the look.

Meanwhile

Tex and York took a quick breather as they hit behind neighboring columns, having just shot the last of their enemies, save for Wyoming himself, "Where did he even buy these guys? The Mook store?" York joked calmly as they reloaded.

"Alison, Baxter? Care for a crumpet break?" Wyoming asked in amusement from a column on other side of the cliff-like structure.

"Sorry, more of a hotdog guy, Regi!" York countered.

"Really? Took you more for a burger man," Wyoming said with a chuckle, "Well, I suppose we should wrap this up quickly..."

"You good?" Tex asked, getting a nod from York, "We hit him hard and fast. On my signal: Three...t-"

*BING*BING*BING*BING*

*DONG*DONG*DONG*

*DING*DING*DING*DING*

"...Who The Fuck Is Calling?! This number isn't even registered!" Tex cursed at the incoming signal, glaring at York.

"Don't look at me, we keep our tracks clean," York assured, holding up his hands in defense.

"Alison, Baxter? Is that Omega on your lines? He paid me up front, so there isn't much reason for contact me at this point," Wyoming informed, "...Cease fire?"

The female freelancer sighed, "You know what, screw it! I'm trying to kill him, so any info he gives me is golden," She decided as she answered it, "What do yo-"

"Just a moment, Alison: Wyoming! The Job is off! You can keep the money; I have something else for you to do!" Omega yelled loudly.

"Jolly good than," Wyoming said, not at all phased, "That mean we don't need to kill each anymore?"

"No, that means you're NOT going to! Because I have big news that concern you too, Alison!" Omega said, his words conveying his evil grin.

"What the fuck is this, O'Malley? I can't think of one reason why you would do this- and we shared a head space for a LONG time!" She reminded.

"It's quite simple, my dear! I, and therefor Wyoming, have a new boss! And he needs us all to play nice," Omega said with a cackle.

"New boss?" York said in surprise, cautiously stepping out to glance at Wyoming, standing in the open with his arms crossed.

"This is the first I'm hearing of a boss either," Wyoming answered in interest.

"Agent New York? I suppose that means Delta is there as well," Omega commented dryly.

"Greetings, Omega," The green AI greeted, appearing next to York.

"Uhhhh, the logical one," Omega said with a groan.

"Since when do YOU work for anyone? Who the HELL would you take orders from?" Tex asked skeptically.

"One second, I'll patch him on through," Omega said, "Yes, you there?...Alright, one second...and you're on!"

"Yo, Tex, how's it going?" Church asked casually, silence reigning between the freelancers.

"...Oh bloody hell," Wyoming said in shock.

"Who the hell is that?" York asked in confusion.

"Shh, you probably don't want to get involved with this, Mate," Wyoming suggested warily.

"C-church?" Tex asked, almost numbly, "You're...working with O'Malley?"

"No, Tex, get your ears checked: he's working for me now," Church reminded bluntly, Omega chuckling on his end.

"Right, cause that's the important bit!" Tex muttered in disbelief, "What IS this, Leonard?"

"Oh, first name, she's mad," Omega noted in glee.

"I seem to have that effect on her," Church commented with an eye roll, "To answer your question?...THIS IS ME NEEDING YOUR COLLECTIVE ASSES IN THIS CANYON, NOW!"

Tex sighed in relief, "Okay, THERE is the asshole I know and love!" She said with a chuckle, glaring to the two males gaping beneath their masks, "You three ever repeat that, I will kill you," She warned.

"Locking memory segment," Delta answered, Wyoming and York nodding quickly.

"So, Church, what's the situation?" Tex asked curiously.

"Damn, and I was so enjoying her unease," Omega grumbled.

"We got a portal, an army from the first century, some fantasy creatures, and we're currently kicking ass but need more bodies to throw at them," Church answered bluntly.

"...Are you high!?" Tex asked after a moment.

"For the last fucking time! I have a robot body! I can NOT GET HIGH!" Church yelled over the call.

"Wait, what?" York asked in surprise.

Delta spoke up again at that, "Actually, it is possible for an artificial intelligence in a mechanical body to experience a sensation similar to a "high" with the correct stimuli," He informed.

"Okay, whoever you are, shut up!...And get back to me later!" Church requested quickly, deciding that if an AI could get high, a ghost could too.

"So...you're serious then?" Tex asked skeptically.

"I AM SNIPING DRAGONS!" Church yelled in annoyance, "ONE HANDED!...how the fuck did I just do that?"

"You? Sniping?" Tex said with a groan, "I'll be there," She assured, closing the call.

"Tex? Where you going?" York asked curiously.

"To go get some answers from my boyfriend, and possibly kick his ass!" She yelled over her shoulder.

"...Boyfriend?" York repeated in shock.

"Hey, Baxter? Knock Knock," Wyoming said suddenly.

"Really?" York said, shaking his head, "Who's there?"

"Lettuce," Wyoming answered.

"Lettuce who?" York asked in resignation.

"Let us go and see what the blazes is going on!" Wyoming said as he headed off after Tex.

York sighed at, "This is turning into a long day," He bemoaned, wondering what he was getting into.

"The solar cycle of this world have not changed, York," Delta corrected.

"Thank you, D," York said absently, "Think this is a trap?"

"Logic would state such, as the story is very unlikely to be true. However, while my vocal-emotion recognition software is limited, I detected no traces of sarcasm or deceit that I could identify," Delta supplied, "That said, we will likely cross paths with Omega or the one claiming to be in command of him, if we follow them," He explained, "...Also, determine if it is indeed possible that there exists a male qualified to by Agent Texas's mate."

End of Chapter

And there we go, the second chapter, already up and going. Donut has his Ghost/Motorcycle, Church is sniping Dragons, and everyone else is doing their thing until while Tex and the cavalry show up. Not that they really, direly needed them, but Church isn't taking chances.

And yeah, Church got Omega working for him. Which isn't really heard if you're offering the guy a chance to kill by the thousands. And Church decided to freak the hell out of Tex for a few seconds because he's not going to get that chance often.

As for the dragons? Well, the JSDF needed 50 caliber machine guns or larger, such as a 35mm anti-aircraft autocannon. The Warthog and the sniper rifle had significantly smaller rounds. While Halo weaponry has doubtlessly advanced, I decided to go on the cautious side and say that the Warthog needs to pepper the dragons for more than a few seconds to kill them, and have Church request anti-tank rounds to take them down.

Well, that's about it, hope you all enjoyed this.

Also, I am NOT taking votes on Pairings- I'll let that develope as I go. But, I am interested in what my fans things, so feel free to state who you ship for this xover!