Thanksgiving weekend was over before she knew it and she was heading back to school. The drive back to Palo Alto felt a bit faster now that she knew what to expect this time. Eric made a new playlist for the trip and brought up going to Comic-con in San Diego for the summer. He had nobody to go with and asked if she was interested.

She questioned, "None of your college friends want to go?"

He looked embarrassed when he admitted that they didn't. Their friends from Forks wouldn't be able to go to California for the trip. He had been made fun of by a few people in college and had been too shy to ask anybody else. She felt outraged on his behalf for the sheer asshole behavior of people and promised to go with him.

"Do I have to dress up? Like in a costume?"

"You don't have to but it would make it more fun," he replied. "It's probably the only time besides Halloween we can get dressed up."

"What are you going as?"

"Spider-man," He shrugged, smiling. "I feel some kinship towards Peter Parker."

She had been a fan of the movies with Tobey Maguire herself. They all used to go watch the movies as a group. Watching the third film had been one of the last things they would do all together before they separated for their respective colleges. Comic-con seemed like a good idea. Maybe she could bring Edward and her friends from Stanford. Stiles would be thrilled.

"Is it okay if I bring other people along with us?" she asked. "Maybe we could all dress up as Spider-man characters."

Eric looked excited. "You could go as Gwen Stacey!"

"I'm not blonde. And didn't she try to steal Peter from MJ?"

"The last Spider-man wasn't canon. It was a travesty," he countered. "Gwen dated Peter before MJ in the comics. And though you're not blonde, Gwen was a Science major. You'd be perfect."

"Why did they break up? Peter and Gwen?"

"They didn't really," Eric grimaced. "The Green Goblin threw Gwen off a bridge and Peter throws webbing to catch her but the whiplash snapped her neck."

Jessica stared at him in shock. "That's horrible."

"It was," He looked contemplative for a moment before adding, "Her death was used for Peter's character development, to make him realize the seriousness of his job as Spider-man. And in any case, he ended up with MJ so it worked out for him."

"Gwen still died."

"True but they probably wouldn't have lasted. Some people are not meant to stay together forever. That's not a bad thing. They're there to lead us to where we're really supposed to be."

Jessica assessed this more serious version of Eric Yorkie. "California really changed you, huh? Where did this existential version of you come from?"

Eric gave her a look. "I have always been like this, Jess. You just haven't been paying attention."

Maybe she hadn't. So much of her life had been focusing on a goal in school or getting into a school. Most things in her life had just been stepping stones towards getting whatever achievement she wanted. She wondered how much she missed focusing solely on her future that she forgot to notice the present.

She had to change that. She just wasn't sure how.


Bonnie and the rest were still on their way from New Orleans. Her roommate texted her they were delayed by Stiles' jeep breaking down and were currently sitting in the Mojave desert as Stiles tried to fix the engine. Bonnie's magic wasn't doing much for it and she went off with Kira to get food as Scott stayed to make sure Stiles didn't get eaten by a pack of coyotes. They would probably make it to Stanford late at night at best.

Riley hitched a ride with a few people and arrived at campus after Jessica did. They had lunch at The Treehouse and discussed their Thanksgiving. She told him about her mother's new boyfriend and Riley told her about his ever increasing number of nieces and nephews. He was from a large family, the youngest of eight children.

"Eight?" she questioned. "Why?"

"What do you mean?"

"One kid is more than enough trouble but eight? Your parents must really love kids?"

"It's larger than most families nowadays but we're not Cheaper By the Dozen."

"Aren't you though?" She pointed at him with a French fry. "You have seven siblings. That had to be insane growing up. I just have Emily and she drives me up the wall sometimes."

"There were moments they made me wish I was an only child but as we're getting older and no longer living under the same house it's gotten better," he replied. "And I'm the favorite uncle of all their kids so they're super nice to me when they need a babysitter."

She dipped a fry into ketchup and took a bite. "Of course kids would like you too."

Everybody liked Riley - boys, girls, kids, animals, even some professors. It wasn't hard to see why. The only person that didn't seem to like him was Edward. She learned to stop mentioning Riley to her boyfriend as the ever present tension was still there. What made it harder was the amount of time she spent with Riley in classes and around campus and she couldn't stop Edward from reading her mind.

She had no idea on how to deal with the situation. She'd never had to deal with a jealous boyfriend before. She hadn't told any of her friends about it as she had been scared that telling other people about it would make it worse. She tried to reassure Edward as much as she could but his doubts remained and it frustrated her because it seemed like he didn't trust her.

Oblivious to her thoughts, Riley asked, "You get any studying done over the weekend?"

"I managed while I snacked on turkey leftovers," she answered. "You get that paper for Professor Seneca done? I'm almost ready to set it on fire."

"It can't be that bad. Let me read it and I'll tell you what I think."

She sighed in relief. "Can I read yours too? You're better at writing than me."

"Sure," He smiled. "Anything for you, Jess."

Bonnie reported that Stiles managed to get his jeep working and they were on their way to Palo Alto. They would probably arrive within that night and Bonnie waxed poetic about how much she missed her bed. Their lunch of mystery meat sandwiches was probably going to give them food poisoning and Bonnie contemplated spelling Stiles' jeep invisible as revenge. Jessica relayed all of this to an amused Riley who had been getting Scott's version of events.

They sat on the floor of their dorm room. Riley had helped her with her essay and Jessica read through his wondering at how easily he expressed himself with words. She always felt unsure about where to go and usually went through dozens of drafts before being satisfied. Riley had no such issues and had an ease with words as he did when he was playing guitar.

"What were you like in high school?" she asked, trying to imagine it. "Were you in the marching band?"

"I played the trumpet and I was in a band with my friends called Weird Fishes which was shamelessly taken from a Radiohead song. I was Student Council Vice President and wrote for the school newspaper."

"Total nerd. The school admission's office loved you, didn't they?"

"Maggie did say I was the most promising applicant of this year," He joked. "What about you, Jess? Let me guess. You were valedictorian, homecoming queen, and one of you exes is now the drummer of an indie band?"

"I was valedictorian and prom queen," she corrected. "And as far as I know none of my exes are in a band."

"But you date musicians? Isn't Edward a Music major?"

"He is. He plays piano."

"See? I knew you liked musicians."

She scoffed and he moved closer to her, not quite invading her personal space but enough that it made her aware of him. The afternoon sun through the windows illuminated him as red and gold and she saw the echoes of Edward in him with the auburn hair and gold eyes. She remembered a conversation she had with Edward where he wondered about how he would've turned out had he been born in this time with her. Would he have turned out like Riley?

"What are you thinking about?" Riley's voice was softer, almost a whisper. "You looked lost in your head there for a moment."

"Nothing," The lie rolled off easily. She didn't have to worry he could reach into her head and see what she didn't want him to. "Just kind of tired from the long drive."

"Maybe you should take a nap," He turned away and began collecting his things. "We can continue this tomorrow in the library, usual time?"

"I'll be there."

He headed to the door and she watched him leave still sitting on the floor. She picked up her essay and the corrections he made. He made it all look so easy. She felt a pang of envy and tried to bury it deep inside her.


Bonnie and the others arrived in time for dinner. Stiles scarfed his meal down, almost detaching his mouth like a snake to try and cram more food inside. They were too tired to hang out after dinner and Bonnie wanted a hot shower to wash away any semblance of the desert from her. Edward wouldn't arrive until early in the morning from New York. She missed him.

She tried to not focus on it when she was at home. She tried to keep busy with spending time with her family and studying for finals but any spare second when she wasn't actively avoiding the longing of wanting Edward to be beside her was miserable. She had never been in a relationship where she had to deal with this madness. She had made fun of girls who couldn't seem to live without their boyfriends and she could not even laugh at the irony she was becoming one of them.

How did she stop being so…needy? She hadn't been like this with other boys. None of those relationships had consumed her so thoroughly. She missed him even when he was across campus and she couldn't wake up beside him. She had valid reasons for not wanting to share his apartment before but those reasons became less important as time went by.

They didn't have classes in the same building and she never really saw him in the hallways so she headed to the Braun Music Center. Edward would be in the Recital Hall with his classmates. She snuck into the room and took a seat at the back and tried to remain unseen. Edward was playing some complicated piano piece as his classmates tried to keep up.

She smiled knowing this was when Edward was happiest, just playing on a piano and letting the world around him disappear. He once told her music was one of the few things that could block out all the voices around him. It had been his salvation when he'd first turned and he was driven nearly insane by all the voices he was hearing, unable to find the difference between thoughts and actual voices. He played as much as he could, when he was happy or sad, when inspiration coursed through him like lightning and he needed to create something new.

She waited as class ended and Edward stayed by the piano listening to what the professor was telling him. His classmates packed up their instruments and left the recital hall slowly. Edward was the last to leave and instead of heading to the exit he made his way to where Jessica was seated. Something inside of her melted at seeing him so close again.

"You don't look like you belong here," He raised an eyebrow at her, faux serious as she smiled like a child at Christmas. "This is a place for musicians and patrons for the arts."

"I'm a patron of the arts," she responded, taking his hand in hers. "I appreciate your playing, always have."

His serious look melted like snow in the summer and he pulled her to her feet. He cupped her face in her hands, not caring that she hadn't looked the prettiest with her messy bun and over-sized hoodie. He leaned down and kissed her, the time they'd been apart dissolving into nothing. The world disappeared when she was kissing him and she wondered if this is how he felt when he was lost in his music.

"Yes, it is," he murmured, between kisses. "It's how you always make me feel."

God, she missed him. She ended the kiss and hugged him, burying her face on the soft fabric of his blue button-down. She didn't need to voice out how much she missed him and she wasn't sure she knew how to live without him anymore. He held her and it was all she needed.


1. In Midnight Sun, Eric asked Bella if she wanted to go to Comic-con with him and his friends bullied him so much for it. I do not endorse this treatment so in revenge for poor Eric, they are going to Comic-con in this fic. Stephanie like to write the human characters in Twilight like total assholes and my kids, Jessica and the gang in this universe aren't amused.

2. Cheaper By the Dozen is a 2003 film.

3. Chapter title is from Alfie Indra's song 'Hard To Cope'.