Jessica was furious. It was an easier emotion to cling to than the sadness that threatened to overcome her. After Edward left her at Times Square, she had to make her way back to the penthouse which took a while due to the crowd of people cornering her in. When she finally arrived at the penthouse, cold and exhausted, only to find out that Edward took Milo, got in his car, and drove off without an explanation.

He left her. He fucking left her without a goodbye or a note for when or if he was ever coming back. His family was used to Edward wanting to be alone for periods of time but he'd always given her a heads up when he needed his space. He didn't just leave her in radio silence and refused to answer calls and texts.

Esme tried to reassure her that Edward always came back and he was probably in Alaska with the Denalis. A part of her wanted to go to Alaska, hunt him down, and punch him in the face. They fought as all couples did and he wasn't allowing them the opportunity to make up and fix things. She was stuck in limbo.

She wasn't sure if they did break up. His final words to her sounded like he was ending their relationship but she couldn't be sure. If only he would answer her calls and get a confirmation. Knowing the answer terrified her because it meant they were over for good.

She loved him. She was sure of that. He was the first boy she had ever loved. She loved him with a desperation that felt like insanity. It felt like it would consume her.

He left her and she saw was his shadows all over his room. She still had a week before she had to get back to Stanford for the new semester but staying with the Cullens' felt like she was intruding. She was friendly with the majority of them but her place had been as Edward's girlfriend. She wasn't good enough friends with his siblings to stay there without feeling awkward.

Esme and Carlisle insisted she could stay and they were happy to have her but she wanted to go home. She didn't want to spend every hour hoping Edward would return. She didn't want to go to the places she'd gone with Edward and miss him so much she couldn't breathe. She wanted to be back in Forks with her family.

Alice helped her change her plane ticket for the next day and she and Jasper drove Jessica to the airport at an ungodly hour. They offered to wait with her until she had to go on her plane. She was going to decline but she needed a distraction from his misery. Jasper was giving her strange looks.

"What?"

He frowned. "He does love you. You don't have to doubt that."

Jesus Christ. Could the Cullens and their invasive super powers just stop for five minutes? If she didn't have Edward reading her every thought, she had Alice telling her snippets about her future. And here was Jasper telling her what feelings she was having like she didn't know.

"Can we not do this now?" She let out a deep sigh. "I don't really want to have a heart to heart."

Alice didn't seem to get the message. "It's going to be okay. I've seen your future and it's-"

She cut her off. "And it's happily ever after. Well, at the moment we're not there yet. We're at Edward abandoning me and possibly dumping me and refusing to talk to me so we're at the really shitty part far away from the future you saw, Alice."

"I know things look bad but it won't last," Alice's cheerfulness felt almost like she was trying to mock her. "When things are tough, look at the bright side!"

"And what is the bright side?" Jessica demanded. "Enlighten me."

The other girl seemed at a loss and turned to Jasper for help. He shrugged. Alice gave her an apologetic smile. Jessica knew she was being a jerk but she wasn't really in the mood for Alice's cloying optimism when she had less than four hours of sleep.

"Let me try," Jasper told his wife before switching places with her to sit beside Jessica. He hadn't sat or stood this close to her before and she surmised that the verbena helped with his control. "Here's the deal, sunshine. Edward is a fool."

They could both agree on one thing.

"Before he became a vampire, he led a charmed life where he succeeded at everything he did and would've probably gone the same route if not for the influenza getting to him," Jasper continued. "It took him over a hundred years to finally fall in love and he doesn't understand that relationship take work. That love isn't always soft and wonderful like they are in books. That it's difficult and there will be plenty of moments where you will absolutely despise each other."

Jessica kept quiet as she took this in. She had been guiding Edward as best she could and he had been willing to listen until he wasn't. The fractures in their relationship had been happening over time, both of them ignoring the flaws and hoping they would go away. They were both cowardly in that sense and Edward more so as he couldn't even stay with her to face the continued fracturing of their relationship.

"I can't fix things if he's not here," she said. "If he's not willing to try."

"He's an idiot. He always comes back. For all his faults, Edward is loyal. And he adores you. He waited a century for you," Jasper replied. "I'm not telling you what to do. If you want to wait for him or not will be your choice. But as somebody that has been around you both and felt what you felt for each other, I would advise to give this time."

Time? It felt like one of the things she didn't have. They fought because he didn't seem to want more time with her. He didn't want to even contemplate the possibility.

"We fought over me turning into a vampire," she admitted. "He's against it and I thought that he doesn't want to spend his immortality with me. Like maybe I'm just a passing fancy for him till I grow old and die."

"It's not that. Edward was raised Catholic and he kept some of those teachings to heart even up to now," Jasper's eyebrows furrowed. "It didn't help that Carlisle got into his head and made him believe being a vampire was a sin against God, that we were damned."

Alice remarked, "Carlisle's backstory isn't any better."

Jessica listened with shock and horror as Alice explained Carlisle's life as human, the son of a religious zealot pastor who burned people at the stake who they suspected were vampires and witches. Carlisle was turned by a vampire he had been hunting and hated himself for what he became. There were more layers to Edward's issues than she realized. They ran deep and she wasn't sure how she could help him.

"Whether or not you decide to become a vampire is for you to decide," Alice insisted. "It doesn't matter what Edward wants in this. He'll just have to get over it."

"It's not as terrible as Edward makes it out to be," Jasper pointed out. "It has its downsides but there are upsides to immortality."

Alice reached across to take Jessica's hand. Her golden eyes stared deeply into hers as she told her, "You are going to do great, important things."

Jessica smiled, trying to joke off Alice's unexpected gravitas. "Like Marie Curie?"

"More. And you have no idea."


Her mom knew something was going on with her but didn't push for her to talk about it. Her mom had always been patient and let Jessica come to her when she was ready. It wasn't that Jessica didn't want to tell her about her boyfriend troubles. It was that she couldn't tell her about her vampire boyfriend troubles.

Thankfully, she had her friends. Telling Angela who was madly in love with Jacob just made her feel like crap so instead she went to Lauren. The blonde's blunt no-nonsense outlook on life always helped her put things into perspective. As they were getting older and heading towards adulthood, Lauren's pragmatism became stronger.

She went over to the Mallorys' house like they did back in high school and told Lauren everything that happened in New York with Edward. Lauren listened as she ranted about Edward's jealousy of Riley, his condemnation of her becoming a vampire, and his deep self-loathing due to his religious beliefs. She was hurt, angry, and drained from having to deal with this mess. And she had to be back in California next week and deal with classes while Edward was brooding up in Alaska.

Lauren got to her feet and went to the kitchen, returning with two beers. She handed one over to Jessica. Returning to her seat, she remarked, "What do you want to do now?"

"I don't know," Jessica admitted. "I don't know what I'm supposed to do."

"I didn't ask that. I asked what you wanted to do," Lauren returned. "Do you want to stay in a relationship with Edward or do you want to end it?"

"Of course I want to be with Edward. It just doesn't look like he wants to be with me."

"Then why were you thinking about Riley?"

"I didn't want Riley. I don't want Riley."

"But?"

"He reminds me of what Edward could've been if he'd been born in this time, if he was human," Jessica could see all the shades of it. Whatever flickers of attraction she felt for Riley was because she could see the similarities between the two of them. "He has all the good parts of Edward. He's loyal, smart, creative…"

"And?"

"And he doesn't have Edward's flaws. He's not jealous, obsessive, and doesn't have a ton of baggage I don't know how to deal with."

"Well, Cullen does need therapy," Lauren said. "Most people need therapy."

"I thought about it for one second. What it would be like to be with Riley instead," she continued. "We'd get married, have kids, grow old together. It would be normal."

"You wouldn't have to worry about him accidentally killing you because he got too hungry or him deciding he doesn't want to date a human anymore."

"Yes. It would be easier."

"Easy? Never pegged you for someone who looked for easy, Stanley," the blonde replied. "You never shied from hard work. You equated the easy choice to being lazy."

"There's a difference between difficult and how impossible this situation is," Jessica sighed deeply. "Rosalie was right. We're doomed to fail. Maybe continuing this is just impractical."

"I don't know much about the rest of the Cullens but Rosalie Hale always seemed like she had a chip on her shoulder which is a lot coming from me," Lauren told her. "Have you thought that she's unhappy so she doesn't want anyone else to be happy?"

"It doesn't make her wrong, does it? What if I fail?"

"You've never shied away from failure either. You try again until you succeed. That's what you've always done," Lauren reminded her. "Remember back in Freshman Year and you got a D in German? You freaked out that you'd ruined your chances for getting into a good college."

Jessica remembered that mini meltdown. She had spiraled that she would disappoint her parents and not be valedictorian. She would not get into a good college and she could never become a scientist. It felt like the end of the world.

"And do you remember what you did after you calmed down?"

She nodded. "I started studying more until I got it. And I got an A plus in the class."

"You're not a quitter, Stanley," Lauren pointed a finger at her. "Never have and never will be."

"I know," Jessica took a long swig from her beer. "But what do I do if Edward quits on me?"


The day before they all had to leave Forks again, they decided to go to La Push for all time's sake. Jessica had forgotten how cold it was to get in the water in January but it wasn't stopping any of them. Jacob and his friends dared each other to jump off the cliff which had always terrified her to see. The Quileute boys were fine and thankfully didn't ask them if they wanted to try.

Angela handed Jacob a towel to dry himself. His previously shorn hair was long again and reached his shoulders. Jessica could admit that aesthetically Jacob Black was very attractive. And how he was smitten and made Angela happy endeared him to her.

Lauren squeezed seawater out of her hair and looked away. Jessica eyed her skeptically and asked, "Do you regret it?"

"Regret what?"

"Breaking up with him?"

"No," Lauren replied. "It was for the best. We can be friends now without having that romantic tension looming over us."

"Was it so bad being with him?"

"Actually, he's wonderful. He's kind, sweet, funny, and a good listener. But we can't give each other what the other needs," the blonde explained and cocked her head in Jacob and Angela's direction. "That's true love. They belong together and there's no denying that."

"He imprinted on you too."

"Maybe imprinting is not all about romance. I needed a pack and he gave me one," Lauren smiled. "He gave me Leah and she's the sister I never had. I'm not alone anymore in this even if it's not all rainbows and sunshine."

Jessica tried to understand it. She learned the previous year that the world was bigger and more complicated than she could've ever imagined. People had always been complicated on their own and adding magic to it could be both catastrophic and amazing. There was still so much to learn in the world.

"Soul mate magic aside, do you think somewhere out there is the right person for you?" Jessica asked. "Someone that you could see yourself with?"

"If they come then I'll be open to it," The blonde shrugged. "And if they don't come, I'll still be content."

Jessica contemplated on that. A part of her wished she could be more like Lauren, not needing a boyfriend. Falling in love had brought so much color in her life but also more grey. As much as she tried to fight it, she kept clinging on to Edward. She couldn't stop loving him and she didn't want to.